Tuesday, November 10, 2015

The Republican Debate #4: The Elite Eight In Brew Town!

               “Welcome to the fourth Republican debate for 2016, my name is Neil Cavuto and co-hosting with me is Maria Bartiromo. Together, we are fair and balanced, unlike the whack-jobs at CNBC, I might ad. The eight gentlemen on the stage in front of us tonight are the leading candidates to be the GOP’s presidential nominee in 2016. Good luck to whoever that is, in his attempt to defeat the empty-pantsuit and her political machine. Now, to the candidates. Mr. Bush, let’s start with you. Do you feel, at this point, that you can still generate excitement and make a bold push to reinvigorate your campaign?

Jeb Bush: Zzzzzz.
NC: Mr. Bush? Mr. Bush?! Are you awake?
JB: Huh? Yes, I know I have to get better. I will say that I’m very disappointed in Mr. Rubio’s attacks on me, but I-
Marco Rubio: Oh, get over it, this is a competition...toughen up, sister!
NC: Mr. Rubio, please!
MR: Sorry.
JB: Yes, be quiet, Judas!
MR: (Rolls eyes)
NC: Anyway, Mr. Carson…quite a week! Several of your assertions and accounts of your early life have been challenged recently…are you prepared to comment directly on any of these?
Ben Carson: Yes, Neil, I am, indeed. I stand by everything I’ve heretofore said and written. You know when you are a front-runner, there will be those who will stop at nothing to disparage you.
NC: A follow-up, Mr. Carson: are you standing by your assertion that you once actually tried to kill a classmate of yours?
BC: I certainly am. I will not let anyone impugn my character by suggesting that I didn’t attempt to murder him! I am not a liar, I'm a doctor.
NC: Wow! Maria?
MB: Mr. Trump, what do you make of what candidate Carson just said?
DT: Well, I don’t think failure should be rewarded! If I had attempted to kill someone, you know I would’ve been successful! It would’ve been yyuuuge! Maybe named a building after him!
NC: We don’t doubt that! Well, it’s time for a word from our sponsors. Don’t go away folks, we’ll be back in a moment.


No comments:

Post a Comment