Tuesday, July 31, 2018

We're Having A Theyby!

                A recent nbcnews.com article chronicled the increasingly common practice of American parents raising their children “outside traditional gender norms.”  This doesn’t just entail letting boys and girls play with the same toys or wear the same clothes. That is old hat, traditional. These parents do not reveal the sex of their children to anyone. Not even their children. Ever.
                The post says that, though the kids “are aware of their own body parts and how they may differ from others,” they “are not taught to associate those body parts with being a boy or a girl.” What could be less relevant? “If no one knows a child’s sex, these parents theorize, the child can’t be pigeonholed into gender stereotypes.” (I don’t like the word “pigeonholed.” I think it pigeonholes both pigeons and holes. It’s nothing more than stereotypical stereotyping).
                In the past few years, some couples in the U.S. and Canada have raised their offspring, typically given names like “Storm” and “Zoomer,” without gender designation. I have an idea. If you’re not going to “assign” a gender to your child at birth, DON’T “ASSIGN” IT A NAME, EITHER! Let it pick that, too, for the love of God. Do we really think it’s a good thing to have, say, a 12-year-old meet someone and state: “Hi, I’m Zoomer and I have a penis but don’t associate it with any particular gender or behavior?”
                What are these progressive parents calling their little ones? “Theybies.” As in, “This is my theyby, isn’t they cute?!” Theybies, babies, scabies, rabies…..it’s all the same. Progressives hold vagueness and imprecision in high regard.
                The NBC article stated that Christia Spears Brown, a developmental psychologist, believes “research suggests gender is largely influenced by a child’s environment.” She must not have children. Is race largely determined by environment, too? Experts also claim that boy’s and girl’s brains are virtually indistinguishable at birth. Which is a meaningless observation. Other parts of them are clearly distinguishable at birth, thank God. No one is claiming that boys are smarter than girls or vice-versa. Let’s stay on point here experts. The article states that experts do agree, however, that “girls tend to speak a few months earlier than boys, though it’s not understood why.” It did not point out that they keep talking and talking and……just kidding, gals. Put down the pitchforks.
                Brown added: “But in general, the differences get larger as kids get older, which really suggests that it’s society and culture that are shaping the differences that we see—not innate differences from birth.” Actually, it really suggests she’s an idiot. What else gets larger when the children get older, Dr. Brown? Their genitalia. And, in the case of girls—and Michael Moore—their breasts. Ever hear of hormones?
                Brown also said parents can “explain to their children that there is more than one way to be a boy or girl.” Just as there is more than one way to be black or Latino.
                Some of the parents who have assigned a non-binary gender to their innocent kids say they wish to encourage them to explore and determine where they fall in their own time. No guidance, no pressure. Explore early and often. No taboos!
                Ari Dennis, one of the parents referenced in the piece, has a 5-month-old theybe named Sparrow, and said he is careful to describe Sparrow with both masculine and feminine adjectives. He said, “I just call my baby ‘beautiful’ and ‘pretty’ and ‘handsome’ and ‘strong,’ back and forth, I’ll use both, and I’ll compliment different manifestations of personality traits.” That certainly won’t be confusing.
                Dennis added, “In my opinion, assigning your child a gender and giving them gender-coded lessons their whole life is much more coercive than what we do.” Sorry, Dennis. Gender is assigned by the One Great Author, not by you, your partner, or the doctor or nurse that delivered your child. Attempting to deny that is coercive. Why don’t we also let our kids decide what their race and ethnicity are? And, why stop there? Why not let them determine their age and species, too?
                Only 0.6 percent of adults in the United States identify as transgender. The Facebook page for those with “theybies” has less than 300 followers. A Facebook page for blonde, lesbian Muslim nude-beach aficionados would have more followers.
                None-the-less, don’t be surprised if, when you next ask a pregnant woman what she’s having, she replies: “a theybe, if I decide to keep it.”

Monday, July 30, 2018

Bernie Sanders: Medicare For All

                Vermont senator Bernie “Colonel” Sanders has put forth a “plan”—endorsed by a host of Democratic politicians, and the Fairy and Unicorn Union (FUU)—that would increase government health care spending by a mere $32.6 trillion over 10 years (according to a new study).
                The “Medicare for All” plan was examined by the Mercatus Center at George Mason University, whose study showed the plan would require historic tax increases. If the plan were implemented, the government would need to replace all the money that employers and consumers currently pay for their health care, as well as account for the dramatic increase in demand that would inevitably follow.
                Sanders has avoided conducting his own cost analysis, which is clever, as some of those supporting the plan have, to put it politely, struggled to explain how they would pay for it. Those queried have given answers like, “We’d just have to win the lottery,” “if everyone put all their pennies in a jar every time they got home from the store, for the next, like, 12 years…” “Bezos, Gates, Zuckerberg, Buffet, Bloomberg, Soros….I mean, those guys can afford to pay more,” “Giggle. I, uh, don’t really know, but we can ask economists…” and, “Look! Over there! It’s Elvis! He’s alive!”
                The total of all the annual budgets of the top 26 spending countries on Earth—put together, including the United States—was about $17 trillion in 2013. That is the U.S. at number 1, plus Japan, China, Germany, France at #5, and on down through the UAE and Finland at # 25 and #26. As someone once said, “I mean, hello!”
                Making everything “free” would destroy the United States, rendering it a larger version of Venezuela, Cuba, North Korea, et. al. Taxes would have to be doubled—or tripled-- across the board, on every business and every individual, causing businesses to flea or shut down. No one would have incentive to work even if there were any jobs to be had. Innovation would cease. Chaos would ensue. World markets would crash. More chaos would ensue. In turn, governments would do what they always have in these situations: impose more regulations and imprison those they would deem hostile to the state. Freedom would become a vestige of the past, a sweet memory.

                Freedom isn’t free. Nothing is.

                “Feel the Bern, baby! Feel the Bern!”

Sunday, July 29, 2018

Speed Doctors

                A new study, conducted by researchers from the University of Florida and posted on studyfinds.org, found that physicians give a patient an average of only 11 seconds to describe their ailment before cutting them off. The study showed that just one-third of physicians give their patients adequate time to explain why they came to see them in the first place.
                That might explain why, when I visited my doctor last Tuesday and said: “Well, doc, I gotta tell ya’, ever since I came back from Mexico last week I’ve been unable to sleep and have had excruciating pain in my—” he cut me off and replied, “Right, then. Here you go. Take two of these every four hours, get plenty of rest, drink lots of fluids, and call me in the morning. Next!”
                In physician’s defense, Obamacare has made it more difficult for them to make a lot of money, even as it results in more people seeking doctor’s attention. Moreover, I take the “findings” of this study with a grain of salt, not literally. That said, however, doctors do tend to let nurses and other medical personnel do most of the groundwork before bursting into the room and grandiosely showering their patients…with the attention span of a nine-year-old suffering from A.D.D.
                This can lead to physicians misdiagnosing the problem, in the manner of spin doctors in the mainstream media “reporting” on gun violence. Sometimes “just what the doctor ordered” isn’t what’s best for the patient.
                An 11-second patient to doctor reporting window could lead to exchanges such as mine. Or such as this: “Doc, I slept with this hot girl, like, two months ago—she was really cool and all-- but recently my left ear fell off and it really hurts when I--"
                “Got it. I’m putting you on the Atkins diet and prescribing Rogaine. Oh, and we’ll have to remove your spleen.”
                Physician, heal thyself.

Saturday, July 28, 2018

Paris Jackson, Proudly Pansexual, Poses Topless

                Paris Jackson (the daughter of Michael Jackson and Debbie Rowe) recently clarified that she is not, in fact, bisexual, but is, in fact, proudly pansexual. Via social media she stated, “I don’t label myself, so don’t label me. I just love people for people.” A wondrously inclusive statement, that. How tragically repressed would one have to be to limit oneself to having sex with just males and females?
                The dictionary defines bisexual as: “sexually attracted to both men and women.” It defines pansexual as: “not limited or inhibited in sexual choice with regard to gender or activity.” Probably could’ve guessed the “not inhibited” part.
                The rigid, non-inclusive, traditional old bisexual fuddy-duddyies tend to be okay with the concept of two genders, whereas pansexuals are far more hip and welcoming, willing and eager to sleep with males, females, transgenders, all other non-binaries…and anyone else on Earth.
                Some of her dad’s song titles seem applicable here: “The Way You Make Me Feel,” “Love Never Felt So Good!” “Thriller,” and “Beat It,” among them. (Feel free to piece together your own jokes).
                Paris, 20, who literally has more tattoos than teeth, was also recently featured in a new fashion campaign for Re/Done+Weejuns, in which she poses topless, one of a revamped line of penny loafers from the Weejun’s Collection partially covering her petite breasts.
                There will, I’m sure, be symmetry when she poses with bare feet for a new line of bras in the near future.

Friday, July 27, 2018

The Emperor Has No Clothes (But One Helluva Nice Mansion!)

            Former President Barack Hussein Obama used a recent speech in South Africa to criticize the wealthy and state unequivocally that those who have more money should share their earnings with the less fortunate. Ostensibly in Johannesburg to give the 2018 Nelson Mandela Annual Lecture, Obama took plenty of time to chastise the un-poor.
He remarked: “We’re going to have to worry about economics if we want to get democracy back on track. We’re going to have to consider new ways of thinking about these problems, like a universal income, review of our workweek, how we retrain our young people, how we make everybody an
entrepreneur at some level.” A universal income is only sustainable in the long-term if it’s relatively close to zero. If we review the workweek of the unemployed, we find that they don’t have one.
 He said, “History shows that societies which tolerate vast differences in wealth feed resentments and reduce solidarity and actually grow more slowly. And when economic power is concentrated in the hands of the few, history also shows that political power is sure to follow and that dynamic eats away at democracy.” Yes. Witness the Soviet Union, Cuba, North Korea, Venezuela, etc. The twelve people at the top of a Marxist-style command-economy may be rich and live in large homes and have a dacha somewhere, but everyone else stands in a long line hoping to trade a loved-one’s virtue for a bag of potatoes and a pack of toilet paper.
Incredibly, the former community organizer referred to “my staff,” and boasted that “Right now, I’m actually surprised by how much money I got.” He shouldn’t be, since he made nearly $25 million between 2005 and 2016, and now makes big money by giving speeches like this one. 
The formerly Fresh Prince of Bill Ayers lamented the appearance of “a politics of fear and resentment and retrenchment,” that he said is now “on the move.” Republican politicians and members of President Trump’s administration are certainly fearful. Of their—and their families—health and safety. Progressive thugs are chasing them out of stores and restaurants, yelling obscenities at them in the public square, and even threatening their children.
Barry went on to glut-shame those of means, saying: “There’s only so much you can eat. There’s only so big a house you can have. There’s only so many nice trips you can take. I mean, it’s enough.” The large crowd of useful idiots applauded heartily. This boggles the mind. No one has taken more trips to nicer places than the Obamas the past couple of years. And the Obamas live in an $8.1 million, eight-bedroom, nine-and-a-half bath mansion in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in the world. Couldn’t he spare a bedroom and a couple of bathrooms? Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. (If you are a young person reading this, look it up. Okay, Google it).
Leftists traffic in hypocrisy. It’s always: “do as I say, not as I do.” That, to me, is utterly repulsive, whether as a philosophy, an expectation, or a mantra.
It’s like Michael Moore saying, “There’s only so much food you can eat. There’s only so big a portion you can swallow. There’s only so many treats you can have. At some point, put down the cheesecake. I mean, it’s enough!”

Yes, it is.

Thursday, July 26, 2018

The Shit Hits The (Trump) Fans

                Dozens of protesters recently attempted to shut down a new coffee shop in Boyle Heights, a formerly Jewish neighborhood in Los Angeles which has become mostly Latino, because the owner supposedly supports President Donald Trump’s stance on immigration, KCAL-TV reported.
                The protesters reportedly yelled “these racists have got to go” and “shame” at patrons of Asher Caffe & Lounge. Oh, and they threw feces at the café’s windows.  Lots and lots of feces.
                The owner of the café, Asher Shalom, remarked to KCAL: “So what’s the connection? This is what I don’t understand. I’m confused—the connection between Donald Trump and good coffee.” Shalom came to America 30 years ago—legally—and is a U.S. citizen. He showed the television station two proclamations honoring him, one from City Councilman Jose Huizar, and one from County Supervisor Hilda Solis, both of whom represent Boyle Heights. I wonder whose side they are on now.
                The protest was planned and carried out by a group called Defend Boyle Heights. The group labeled Shalom “an anti-immigrant Trump-loving ‘gentryfier’” in a Facebook post, illustrating that it is not only militantly intolerant, but is spelling-challenged as well. According to online reports, the group allegedly became aggressive with another of the town’s coffee shops during an anti-gentrification protest in 2017.
                Apparently DBH thinks coffee should not only be served black, but should only be served by people of color. Or perhaps it thinks that white folks shouldn’t own cafes. And certainly not those dastardly Zionists.
                Shalom’s son David said the protesters “accosted all the visitors that came to our grand opening event.” So, the grand opening of a legal immigrant’s coffee shop was targeted by the ignoble closing of the minds of those who purport to “defend” their city by championing illegal immigration? That is shitty.
                Ironically, according to Wikipedia, Shalom is a Hebrew word meaning: peace, harmony, wholeness, completeness, prosperity, welfare and tranquility. It can also be used idiomatically to mean both hello and goodbye.
                Shalom’s daughter Yael stated of the protest: “It was very scary. There were a lot of people protesting outside wearing masks…and they threw a significant amount of feces at our windows.”

                Yet another instance of the shit hitting the (Trump) fans.

                Hello anarchy. Goodbye America.

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

College Course Says Objectivity, Meritocracy Just White Mythology

              A course titled “White Mythologies: Objectivity, Meritocracy, and Other Social Constructions,” was offered at Hobart and William Smith Colleges this past spring.
              The course description read as follows:This course explores the history and ongoing manifestations of ‘white mythologies’ — long-standing, often implicit views about the place of White, male, Euro-American subjects as the norm against which peoples of the world are to be understood and judged. Students will explore how systematic logics that position ‘the West’ and ‘whiteness’ as the ideal manifest through such social constructions as objectivity, meritocracy, and race, and as justifications for colonial interventions, slavery, and the subordination of women.” Sign me up!
              What the hell is “systematic logics?” And, if objectivity and meritocracy are to be considered merely social constructs, humankind might as well pack it in now, and spare itself the ever more painful devolution back into the primordial soup.College professors—and some groups on the far left—are, with greater and greater frequency, labeling erstwhile virtues such as courtesy, honor, decorum, dignity, intelligence, kindness, honesty, compassion, empathy, courage, sobriety, self-control, discipline, language skills, imagination, and competence as “white constructs.”  They deny the existence of any concrete “virtue,” period.
            What does that say about those who believe and promulgate this insanity?
            Are we really better off denigrating these characteristics/virtues and those who possess them (regardless of race, creed, color or sex)? Or would we be sentencing our society to a new Dark Ages? Failure to distinguish between healthy, positive traits and damaging, negative ones so as not to embarrass a certain group tells that group they are incapable of possessing them. Attempting to equivocate good and evil does not make it so. It simply coarsens society while implicitly telling members of the “protected” group that they are inferior and unworthy.
          We are discrediting virtue, while removing the stigma from destructive behaviors. We are discounting achievement and rewarding—or normalizing—sloth.
          But, f!#$%&@*%$! Who cares? Nothing matters…and what if it did? That’s my truth. Everything else is just mythology.

Tuesday, July 24, 2018

Camp Commie

                Summer camp. Many of us have fond memories of blissful days spent at summer camp when we were young. Fishing, hiking, learning to sail or paddle a kayak, sitting around the bonfire eating S’mores and telling scary stories.
    As the years passed, more and more summer camp options were offered. There was Bible camp, sports-specific camps, band camp, and the list goes on.
                And now, Commie Camp! Seriously. The camp’s own website proudly references the name that a visiting moviemaker gave to it in a 2013 film. “Commie Camp” is actually “Camp Kinderland,” a social-justice-themed base located in Tolland, Massachusetts. Recently, pictures were posted on social media showing the kids designing their own Antifa flags. According to a Daily Caller News Foundation report, the kiddies designed nearly 50 different flags for the militant organization, most sporting Antifa’s logo and utilizing its trademark colors of red and black.
                Doesn’t that sound like fun, kids?! I mean, what could be better than making banners for a radical-left-wing group that routinely employs violence and intimidation against anyone with whom it disagrees?! Screw catching fish! What screams “Precious Childhood Memories” louder than social-justice warfare?
                Camp Kinderland touts itself as the “summer camp with a conscience.” Its mission statement reads: “Camp Kinderland is a multicultural summer camp and community that honors our progressive secular Jewish roots through our commitment to economic, racial, and social justice. Kinderland’s summer programming and year around activities integrate progressive values with arts, recreation, and activism in a compassionate and caring environment.”
                Unless you disagree with them, in which case it’s off to Siberia for you.
                And, “secular Jewish roots?” Really? I’ve seen a lot of Antifa protests and rallies, and I don’t recall seeing a preponderance of Jews among them. Maybe it’s all the black garb these protesters wear, but these gatherings look more like a Nation of Islam rally on meth than a collection of Jews self-doubting themselves.
                Kinderland professes to preach values such as “diversity,” “community,” “respect,” and “compassion,” but in reality fosters group-think, intolerance, narrow-mindedness, and a nascent respect for thuggery to achieve one’s own (political) goals. It can’t really be labeled a re-education camp, because its attendees are so young, but it is an indoctrination camp.  
                One wonders what other activities the kids partake in.
                “Hey, kids, Ivan here. Remember, tomorrow we’re going to plant a communal garden! Yay! After that, I’ll show you our new outhouse! And, don’t forget, tomorrow night, after our borscht dinner, we’ll sit around the campfire singing Joan Baez songs and telling stories of eeevil capitalist businessmen! Scary, scary! But don’t to worry, we will soon rid the world of Donald Trump types forever, and usher in glorious new day of communal bliss like in, uh, umm, uh……Anyway, won’t that be fun?! Oh, I almost forgot, there is a ‘free library’ on the camp grounds, next to the replica of Lenin’s tomb. It contains such fun books as, ‘Potatoes: From Planting to Peeling,’ ‘Quotations From Chairman Mao Tse Tung,’ and Karl Marx’s ‘Communist Manifesto,’ and ‘The German Ideology.’ What have I always told you? That’s right!  You don’t need your mommy! Who’s your favorite commie?’ Ha, ha, ha, ha! Remember, ‘life’s a beach and then we overthrow the bourgeoisie!’”

“Camp Kinderland”

Camp Kinderland
We love you so!
To the motherland
You’ll help us go!
You teach us things
We need to know
(But Not About
The Gulag
Every day
We holler wow!
And drink a toast
To Chairman Mao
This is the way
As you will see
Is history!
Camp Kinderland!! Yay!!!!!!

Monday, July 23, 2018

Climate Change Causing Suicides?

                The USAToday published an article recently saying, “a study suggested” that “rising temperatures linked to human-caused climate change could lead to increasing suicide rates in the U.S. and Mexico.”
                The study’s researchers purported to find a “strong correlation” between warm weather and increased suicides, according to new research published in the journal Nature Climate Change (buy one subscription, get the second for half-price through Tuesday; operators are standing buy!). The study found suicide rates rise 0.7 percent in U.S. counties for each 1.8 degree increase in monthly average temperature, and postulates that climate change “could lead to 9,000 to 44,000 additional suicides across the U.S. by 2050.” 
                The study’s lead author, Marshall Burke of Stanford university, remarked: “The thousands of additional suicides that are likely to occur as a result of unmitigated climate change are not just a number, they represent tragic losses for families across the country.”
   “This may be the first decisive evidence that climate change will have a substantial effect on mental health in the United States and Mexico, with tragic human costs,” said co-author Solomon Hsiang. What about the rest of the planet?
   According to a Center for Disease Control and Prevention report, suicide rates in the U.S. have risen almost 30% just since 1999, a fact that refutes the study’s own findings. If suicide rates in the U.S. rise 0.7 percent for each 1.8 degree increase in average temperature, and the average temperature in the U.S., by all accounts, hasn’t risen anywhere near 1.8 degrees in the past 19 years, what accounts for a 30% increase in suicide rates? Perhaps the preponderance of obviously “fake news” reports like this one?
  And, what about little things like economic and health factors? Guess those weren’t taken into consideration for this study. Science isn’t what it used to be.
  Even more preposterously, the study’s authors also claimed that higher temperatures were associated with increased use of “depressive language” on Twitter. They assert that tweets were more likely to contain language such as “lonely,” “trapped,” or “suicidal” during hot spells. Really? This is counter-intuitive. These words are more likely to be used when someone is “trapped” in their home for days due to massive snowfalls and/or far below zero temperatures. Hot spells are more likely to elicit words and phrases like, “let’s go to the lake,” and “let’s get naked.”
  I personally know many people who—kiddingly, I think—talk about committing suicide late in a never-ending winter. At least those who haven’t already dropped dead while shoveling snow. If suicide rates always rise with an increase in temperature, at what temperature would the rate fall to zero? Absolute zero? That would be -459.67 degrees Fahrenheit. At that point, suicide would be impossible, as all molecular motion would cease. This, however, seems rather a pyrrhic victory, at best, since every living thing would then already be dead.
 I have a question for the study’s authors and cheerleaders: How do the suicide rates in Alaska and Siberia compare with those in say, Iowa, Texas, Hawaii or Arizona? Hmmm?

Sunday, July 22, 2018

"As You Know"

                The University of Bath in the United Kingdom proudly sports an “Equality and Diversity Network,” an entity which held a meeting last May to screen a short film titled “Why Is My Curriculum White?” At one point, one of the stalwart young scholars in the film avers that being told “as you know” leads the recipient of the phrase into “self-doubt.”

                I did not know that.

                Bath claims to have an “international reputation for teaching and research excellence,” but it’s failed utterly on both counts here. Teaching—or preaching—that “as you know” is a “white” phrase, is itself racist…not to mention ludicrous. In the total absence of common sense or logic, a little research would’ve revealed that the reason people preface a remark with “as you know” is to avoid insulting the person they are addressing. These words let the person to whom one is speaking know that their intelligence is not in question, and that they may well be aware of what you are about to share with them, but that you are interested in what they think of the matter.
                How can a simple, benign, three-word phrase, designed to flatter the other person be labeled as white racism? Do people of color not use it? If not, do they just assume everyone they’re talking to is an idiot? Of course not, but that is, in essence, what the progressive self-doubting snowflakes are—perhaps accidentally-- implying.

                As you know, some people take perverse pleasure in being offended by everything.

Saturday, July 21, 2018

You Can't Always Get What You Want

                You can no more choose your sex or gender than you can your arm length or gall bladder. Those were granted—or “assigned”-- to you…by the union of the two different, specific, complementary sexes that created you.
    You can choose your words, but you can’t choose your gonads. When a buck deer sheds his horns, it doesn’t make him a doe. Moreover, though you can sew a horn on a horse’s snout, doing so doesn’t make it a rhinoceros. Or a unicorn.
                Someone once said, “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.” There is such a thing as reality. Sorry, libs. Go have a good cry…and a warm cookie.
                Or, better yet, grow a pair. (To those in the throes of gender dysphoria, I mean that figuratively).

Friday, July 20, 2018

"In My Feelings"

                A 68-year-old Democratic lawmaker recently posted a video of herself “dancing” with two staffers to Drake’s new song, “In My Feelings.” Rep. Joyce Beatty (D-Ohio) put up the roughly 30-second video (in which she steps out of a white car wearing an all-white suit) on Twitter to try to connect with Millennials. In a post accompanying the video, Beatty wrote: “I don’t know who Keke is but I want her to vote next November because this @WhiteHouse has me and many other Americans ‘in my feelings.’ #KekeMustVote #InMyFeelingsChallenge.” 
               Unfortunately, she misspelled the 4-letter name of the song’s cryptic “Kiki” in her Tweets, instead referring to “Keke.” Well, she got two out of four letters correct. That’s 50%. Not bad for public school education or government work, I guess. Though the post is indecipherable, it may yet be effective. We’re all about feelings now, accuracy and reason be damned. Washington and Lincoln may not have “approved this message,” as Beatty expressly did at the end of the video, but that may be precisely the point.
              Here are the relevant passages/stanzas in the song that Beatty is attempting to use for political advantage:

  Kiki, do you love me? Are you riding?
  Say you'll never ever leave from beside me
  'Cause I want you, and I need you
  And I'm down for you always
  Kb, do you love me? Are you riding?
  Say you'll never ever leave
  From beside me, 'cause I want ya, and I
  Bring that ass, bring that ass, bring that ass back
  B-bring that ass, bring that ass, bring that ass back
  Shawty say the nigga that she with can't hit
  But shawty, I'ma hit it, hit it like I can't miss
  (Clap that ass, you're the only one I love)
  (Clap that ass, clap, clap)
  Bring that ass back
  (Clap that ass, you're the only one I love)
  (Let's go, let's go)
  Bring that ass back

 What if Donald Trump made or posted this video? “Nigga?” #MeToo?

There are no words to adequately describe the words that make up this song’s “lyrics.” There are no words to adequately describe the decline of our culture-- and ability to reason. Intellect, discipline and effort are ridiculed, while ignorance and base emotion are celebrated and rewarded.

Oh well. Screw it. I’m In My Feelings.

Thursday, July 19, 2018

Democrats Unveil New Slogan

                Democrats recently unveiled a new slogan (just in time— they hope) to help them in the mid-term elections: “For the People.” Seriously. Time will tell if this one works any better than their last slogan, which was a bust. Last year, Democrats trotted out: “A Better Deal: Better Skills, Better Jobs, Better Wages.” That one had two main faults. First, many thought it was a barely tweaked version of Papa John’s “Better Ingredients. Better Pizza. Papa John’s.” And second, it played right into Trump’s hands, as he is the master of deals, and was already well on the way to creating better jobs and better wages, using skills he learned in business.
                Some Democratic leaders, such as Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi, have been urging their colleagues to quit spending all their time attempting to get Trump impeached and focus on the economy. This seems ironic, as it has never gone well when they’ve focused on the economy in the past. At least for the rest of us. And given the fact that Pelosi herself said last spring that Democrats would work hard to roll back the Trump tax cuts if they retake Congress.
                The Dems do plan to highlight Republican corruption going forward, though this is akin to Bill Clinton calling Donald Trump a philanderer. Or Charles Manson bemoaning violence on television.
                “For the People” makes me think of an R.E.M. song. Or a communist dictatorship. “The People’s Republic of China,” or “The Democratic People’s Republic of North Korea.” If Democrats retake the House and Senate, they will impeach Trump…for being Trump…and possibly bring forth legislation to rename The United States of America, “The People’s Republic of the United States,” or “The Glorious People’s Republic of America.”
               The Third Reich put the term “Arbeit Macht Frei” (“Work Makes You Free”) over the entrances to several concentration camps during World War II. Perhaps the Democratic Party, lurching ever further to the left, should claim the slogan “Unwissenheit Macht Frei,” a German phrase meaning “Ignorance Makes You Free.” It would be fitting.
   Higher taxes, unfettered abortion, open borders (and bathrooms and locker rooms), sanctuary cities, countless genders, separate rules for the elite establishment, speech/thought/gun control. All of these, should Democrats regain power, will be automatic…”For the People.”

Wednesday, July 18, 2018


                C-I-S. Cis. As in cisgender. “Referring or relating to people whose sense of personal identity and gender corresponds with their birth sex.” Cis is a meaningless term/add-on. Why not say ciscisgender or cisciscisgender? It wouldn’t make any damn difference. It would do nothing but make the word longer. It would simply be affirming or reaffirming or re-reaffirming what already is, verifying the meaning the word already holds and conveys.
                Why not speak of cislesbians or cisbisexuals? Cisgender is the opposite of transgender, but the cis is irrelevant, moot, much like Nancy Pelosi. “Sexism” in itself is enough. Sexism is sexism, is it not?
                Dictionaries have now been sullied by words like cissexism: “Prejudice or discrimination against transgender people.” And cisnormativity: “The view that all people are cissexual, i.e. have a gender identity that is the same as their biological sex.”
                Why not take this to its illogical conclusion and say “cistransgender?”
                I’d like to add a few more new words to the lexicon: “cisidiocy” (something notably stupid or foolish) and “cisdepravity,” (the view that depravity is now normative, mainstreamed) among them.
                How do I identify you might well ask yourself, but probably didn’t? I guess you could call me “cisquestioning.”

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Atlanta International Airport: Gone To The Dogs

                The Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport installed seven dog bathrooms last year. One for each and every concourse. It wasn’t until recently, nearly a full year later, that airport officials revealed to the public that the canine restrooms cost $3.9 million.
                Airport administrators were quick to point to the complexities of building inside a 24-hour facility in defense of the ludicrously high price tag. They said construction was limited to overnight hours and that existing facilities had to be torn down to make room for the new doggie loos. What existing facilities? Bathrooms for humans? Check-in counters? Maintenance closets? Air-traffic control towers?
                According to a Fox News article, the Federal Department of Transportation (FDOT) mandates that large airports have Service Animal Relief Areas (SARAs). A spokesperson for the airport told Fox News: “In order for ATL to be in compliance with federal ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) standards, these relief areas had to be built.” The total cost of building the canine cans was supposedly absorbed through “airport funding,” not taxpayer dollars, and is reimbursable through PFCs (“Passenger Facility Charges”).
                Well, OMG, WTF and BS.
                I have seen several pictures of these designated doggie doo-doo dens. These “relief areas” are replete with artificial turf and fake fire hydrants, among other amenities. Seriously. Although I didn’t see any bidets, so French Poodles are apparently being discriminated against.

Monday, July 16, 2018

I'm With Her?

                “Well, I’ll tell you, I’ve been back there listening to Randi and I’m so exhausted, I can barely stand here.”
                That’s how the ever-electric Hillary Clinton opened her speech to the American Federation of Teachers in Pittsburgh recently. What a leader! That ought to fire up her base as she prepares for yet another run at the presidency! What quality is more important in a president than the tendency to be easily exhausted?
                That’s correct! Sheer bitterness, rank entitlement and laughable hypocrisy! After receiving the union’s Women’s Rights Award—and pointing out how tired she was-- she launched into a diatribe lamenting how oppressed she has been throughout her life. She noted: “When I was growing up, there were scholarships I couldn’t get, colleges I couldn’t attend, jobs I couldn’t apply for just because I was a girl.” (Now we can say that about conservatives).
                She then remarked, “It wasn’t so very long ago that classified ads were divided into ‘help wanted dash male,’ and ‘help wanted dash female.’” (And it wasn’t long ago that bathrooms were divided into ‘male’ and ‘female,’ either). Before turning to attacks on all things Trumpian, she bizarrely criticized girls half-court basketball, whining that “They wouldn’t let us run on the full court.” (Think how tired she would’ve been if ‘they’ did).
                The staggeringly oppressed former First Lady and Secretary of State of the United States of America then started in on baseless attacks on the Trump administration and evil Republicans in general, saying: “They’ve gutted funding for schools and universities.” (In light of what universities are teaching now, I wish that were true).
                She said: “They want to turn us into transactional units,” and claimed that Trump supporters want a “man-eat-man, woman-eat-woman” society. (No, that would be the LGBTQ community).
                Waxing ever more preposterous, she asserted: “They are trying to rip the heart out of America” and “They want to turn us against each other.” (They? They? They! You are the one doing the demonizing and dividing, Hillary).
Averring that “The stakes could not be higher” she actually said, “You know, I used to worry that they wanted to turn the clock back to the 1950s. Now I worry they want to turn it back to the 1850s.”
The unionists applauded wildly.

What if former presidents had had Hillary’s personality and world-view?

Ronald Reagan at the Brandenburg Gate:

“Thank you very much. Chancellor Kohl, Governing Mayor Diepgen, ladies and gentlemen: I have an appeal to General Secretary Gorbachev, but first, I’ve gotta tell you how exhausted I am. I can barely stand here. As most of you know, I had an alcoholic father, and…”

FDR after the attack on Pearl Harbor:

 “Yesterday, December 7, 1941—a date which….but first of all, I’ve gotta tell you, I’m so exhausted I can barely speak. And, you know, I’m confined to a wheelchair through no fault of my own, so…”

Abraham Lincoln at Gettysburg:

 “First off, let me tell you all, I’m so tired I can barely stand here. And, I grew up in a one-room log cabin with a dirt floor. No one can say I didn’t have it rough, that I didn’t sacrifice. But, the world will probably little note, nor long remember that fact. So, if I don’t make it through this speech, I’m sure you’ll understand. (Unionists applauded wildly). Anyway: Four score and seven years ago…”

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Girlguiding To Allow "Transgender Girls" To Shower With Group

                Girlguiding, the largest girl-only youth organization in the United Kingdom, recently updated its rules, which apply to members from five to 25 years of age, “to allow members who were born male but now identify as female to share changing rooms, toilets and sleeping quarters with girls when away on excursions,” according to London’s The Telegraph. “The Girl Guides will allow boys who identify as female to shower with girls, it has emerged,” The Telegraph reported. What could go wrong?
                The 107-year-old charitable organization’s new guidance, issued on the group’s website, says that “the use of gendered facilities,” including showers, “can cause anxiety,” adding: “Members are allowed to use the facilities of the gender they self-identify as.” We can all remember from our school days that showering together, even as one sex and basically the same age, can cause anxiety. One doubts whether having males of various ages-- who happen to identify as females—showering together with actual females of various ages will put everyone at ease.
                Girlguiding’s Chief Executive, Julie Bentley, said that the organization follows the requirements set out in the Equality Act of 2010, which mandates that organizations providing single-sex services treat people according to their acquired gender. (One acquires a fishing rod or a new television, not a new gender). Ms. Bentley stated: “In line with our values of inclusion, we welcome any young person who self-identifies as a girl or young woman.” Don’t mind the beard and the boner!
                The government of the UK recently announced that adults can legally challenge their gender without facing “demeaning” rules that require people to undergo a formal medical diagnosis. I am sympathetic to their plight, as I myself am a wildly successful four-year-old thoroughbred racehorse whose chosen pronoun is “stallion,” and I sure as hell don’t want to be subjected to a demeaning formal medical diagnosis or evaluation.
                Incredibly, the new guidance states that it is not “best practice” to inform parents that a trans person will be attending a residential event. No, it’s best practice to let a 13-year-old boy who claims to be a girl to shower with actual young ladies.
                The Telegraph article stated that David Davies, a Conservative MP for Monmouth in South Wales, recently told The Mail, “If transgender girls who are physically male are going to be sharing facilities, it’s going to make some girls threatened and uncomfortable and the Guides shouldn’t be doing that.” What a whacko! Lock him up!
                There is a report that states the organization offers “girls a place where they can really be themselves with other girls and share the experience of growing up as a girl in today’s world.” No. It actually, explicitly, does the opposite. It offers boys a place where they can pretend they are not who they really are.
                The Girl Guide’s gender guidelines state: “’Girl’ is based on gender identity. This means that any child who self-identifies as a girl should feel safe and welcome in our girl-only space regardless of the sex that they were assigned at birth.” First of all, it isn’t a girl-only space anymore. And, the phrase “assigned at birth” calls to mind a doctor with a clipboard and a magic marker walking through a nursery alternately calling out, “Girl-boy-girl-boy-girl-boy-girl-boy” without checking under anyone’s hood. Madness.
                The article concludes by stating that “It is not known how many transgender members are in the guides.” I’m guessing two. But there are sure to be more after this decision and the publicity generated by articles such as this.

Saturday, July 14, 2018

Man! I Feel Like A Woman! (Spanish Edition)

                Angela Ponce has been crowned Miss Universe Spain for 2018. The only thing unusual about this is that Ms. Ponce is a man. Well, at least he/she was born a man, or should I say was “assigned” a male gender at birth? This sounds like the completely arbitrary, random, meaningless designation progressives deem it to be. Ms. Ponce will become the first transgender “woman” to compete in the Miss Universe Pageant. Apparently not content to pile up victories recently in athletic contests, “transgender women” have now won a beauty contest, as well.
                According to The New York Times, while Ponce said her parents always supported her, she said, “But from the moment I was born, I felt that I was a public figure and that people somehow had the right to speak about how I was.” From the moment she was born? Wow! What remarkably precocious self-awareness! She obviously is a shy one. So, she identified as a woman and entered a beauty pageant. And those darn people still somehow think they have the right to speak about how “she” was/is.
                But she does too, having stated in an interview: “Having a vagina doesn’t make a woman. Even if many people don’t want to see me as a woman, I clearly belong among them.” Big whoop. I am not a woman, but I clearly belong among them, too.
                She also said: “There are women with a penis and men with a vagina, because the only key part of being a woman is to be and feel like a woman.” Nope. That’s not the only “key” part of being a woman. It is not a coincidence that the key part of a man fits perfectly inside the key part of a woman. Almost like a key in a keyhole. Almost like they were made for each other. Good thing, too. Or none of us would be here. That’s the real key, “Ms.” Ponce.
                Ponce says that most of the criticism “she’s” received has come from other women, women who believe that “she” will have an unfair advantage over other national beauty queens at the Miss Universe Pageant later this year. Why? Are the judges gay? Will there be a weight-lifting competition?
                Tragically, this may well be the case, however, due to the same political correctness that granted “her” victory in “her” own country’s national beauty contest.

Let's go girls, come on
We’re competing tonight, I'm feelin' alright
Gonna let it all hang out
(If you know what I mean)
I Want to walk with poise, really be their choice
So that I don’t have to pout
No inhibitions, make no conditions
If I’m a little outta line
The judges gonna act politically correct
So that I can have a good time
The best thing about being a tranny
Is the prerogative to have a little fun and
Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy, forget I'm not a lady
Men flirt, short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action, feel the attraction
Color my hair, do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I want to be free yeah, to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!
Come, come, come on baby
Man! I feel like a woman!

Man! I Feel Like A Woman
© Universal Music Publishing Group 1997
For non-commercial use only.

Friday, July 13, 2018

Video Games To Be Olympic Sport

                Cue up John Williams’ “Olympic Fanfare and Theme,” competitive video gaming may be an official Olympic sport as soon as the 2020 Summer Games in Tokyo, Japan. It is almost certain to be a part of the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad to take place in Paris in 2024. I don’t know about you, but I’ve already got goose bumps.
                Gayle Dickie, CEO of Gamer World News Entertainment, recently stated that the International Olympic Committee (IOC) is considering adding “eSports” in order to attract younger viewers. Dickie told FOX Business Network: “I think including these sports by 2024 would be a fantastic idea not only for the country of France, but for the world in terms of increased revenue and advertising.” She said that Olympic Games “viewership is down 24 percent in the 18-49 demos,” adding that, with 2.2 billion “gamers” throughout the world, the addition of competitive video gaming will substantially increase viewership of the summer games.
                Why add them to the summer games? Wouldn’t it make more sense to attach them to the winter games? If it’s 22 degrees below zero out, staying inside and binge-gaming is almost excusable. If you don’t have a job.
                The original Olympiads were a platform to showcase human fitness and the beauty of a toned, healthy body and what it could do when properly molded and motivated. Is this in keeping with that idea?
                I shouldn’t be skeptical. What could be more thrilling than watching a 27-year-old man from Chicago, Illinois, who lives in his mother’s basement and spends 11 hours a day playing Grand Theft Auto and stuffing his face with Cheetos compete with an acne-faced youngster from the suburbs of Paris to see who is better at handling his joystick?
                I think the IOC should have three separate entries for eSports: a “Classic” division, a “Modern” division and an “Actual Sports” division. Those athletes competing in the Classic division would play “Pong,” “Asteroids,” and “Pac-Man.” (“Ms. Pac Man” might be better to placate the #MeToo types…as if any might be watching). Those battling it out in the modern division would be playing games such as Pokémon, League of Legends, Call of Duty, Counterstrike and Minecraft. The Actual Sports division would see teams competing in games such as the legendary Sega Genesis NHL ’94, Golden Tee Golf, Big Buck Hunter II, and Madden NFL 2024.
  The drama! The pageantry! Imagine, if you can, Team Uruguay facing off with Team Croatia in a heated game of Sonic the Hedgehog or Super Mario Brothers! Or Japan and Mozambique engaged in a pitched battle of Angry Birds or Star-craft 2. It doesn’t get any better than that. The thrill of virtual victory versus the agony of faux defeat!

Thursday, July 12, 2018

NATO Spending: Buildings Yes, Troops No

            NATO (the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, for those of you in college) opened its vast and lavish new headquarters last year, a building that was being constructed even as countries such as England slashed their defense budgets. The immense and showy edifice, located in Brussels, Belgium, cost $1.23 billion to erect. Upon completion, NATO proudly published photographs of the structure, noting that it would facilitate bureaucratic endeavors.
President Trump’s attendance at the recent NATO Summit raised the visibility of the ostentatious building, especially as he was trying to convince other member nations to spend less time suckling on the American teat-- by increasing the amount they spend on their own defense, which is, in many cases, almost nothing. Of course, the reason most of the member nations pay out only 1 or 2 percent of their GDP to defend themselves is that the politicians in these socialist-lite welfare states channel the vast majority of their country’s tax revenues into “entitlement” spending, thereby paying off the least productive members of society and buying their votes. And because they are used to the United States paying for everything, and are startled when informed this may not go on unquestioned in perpetuity. And possibly because they no longer believe in themselves, no longer believe in their heritage, no longer consider themselves worth fighting for.
Most NATO nation’s leaders are not big Trump fans, but it’s just possible that the Very Stable Genius is attempting to breathe new life into a moribund West.
The simple fact is that most NATO countries have not been meeting their commitments for military spending. So, to witness the staggering amount of money these nations have spent on a building for bureaucrats to play in is disheartening.
Germany, for example, is arguably the wealthiest of the European nations, yet, in recent years, its troops have trained with broom handles in lieu of guns, and reports state that only four of its Eurofighter jets—out of a fleet of 128—are combat-ready. No one wants a return to the Third Reich, but Germany should do what is right. And in its best interest.
Screwing the troops, who risk it all on the front line, in favor of lavishing spending on bureaucrats scurrying around a cavernous safe-space shuffling their feet and their papers is an affront to logic and decency. In neutron-bomb-like fashion, our long-time European allies appear intent on making sure their buildings will stand, but their troops will fall.

The Deep State will not protect us. Our militaries will.

If we let them. 

Wednesday, July 11, 2018


                I have had it with how obnoxiously, in-your-face “proud” many sexual-orientation and gender-confused fringe groups have become lately. Everyone but heterosexuals in a committed marriage is openly, blatantly, stupendously “PROUD!” of their particular quirk and group. Equality under the law is one thing, but demanding to be elevated and worshipped for one’s personal kink is entirely another.
                Ted Hickman, Vice Mayor of Dixon, California, recently called for a “Straight Pride American Month,”……prompting many to call for his immediate resignation. Why can’t straight people be proud? I mean, we are responsible for creating human life, including the lives of those in the LGBTQ community. What is so wrong with that?
                We just celebrated gay pride month. Lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgenders, the questioning, etc., are all swelled up with pride. Can’t the rest of us feel good about ourselves, too?
                Every day one hears and reads about people—or their relatives—who are PROUD! of their proclivities. So proud, they just can’t keep it to themselves. We hear fathers say, “My daughter was incorrectly assigned a male gender at birth, but she identifies as a female now. And, she is a lesbian! I am so proud of her!” Or, “My son screws goats. I’m fairly bursting with pride! Up the ass. I Couldn’t be any prouder! Some people talk about ‘getting one’s goat’…my son actually does. Truly, so proud!” Perhaps, “My daughter is one of seven wives. She lives in Utah. Her husband showers her with affection one night a week. I’ve never been prouder!” How about, “My mom masturbates three times a day, every day. That’s so cool. She does it while watching dwarf incest porn. And, like, I’m so proud! I really don’t think I could be any prouder!”
                We’re going to have to add on to the LGBTQIIAA acronym. It is not nearly inclusive enough. How about LGBTQIIAABPM? Who wouldn’t be PROUD! of that?
                However, we all know there’s one group of people who not only shouldn’t be allowed to be proud, but should be (and are) ritually and permanently shamed, shunned and threatened: Trump supporters. They are sick. We know this in part by how many folks say they’d rather their son or daughter dated a gang-rapist/Satan worshipper/mass-murderer/Llama than a Trump supporter.

                Trump supporters? Shameful. Everyone else? Pass the lube.

                So proud!

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Diversity Cards

                Whilst doing blog-prep recently, I stumbled upon a site selling “Diversity Cards.” The set I saw contained 387 different cards. True story. That seemed like a lot. Each card sported a question on the front and an answer on the back. The front of the first card read “All of the ways people are different.” On the back of the card was the one-word answer: “Diversity.”

                Ahh, I see.

                This got me to thinking: wouldn’t it be great if there were “diversity” playing cards? I may have to develop, market, and sell them myself. They would be perfectly suited (pun intended) for today’s society in which everything is seen through the prism of identity politics. It’s not enough to be just “American,” English, French or any other nationality. One must be a bisexual Latino-American or a transgendered, questioning, African-American, for example.
               Think of the fun folks would have playing common card games such as poker, “War” or “Go Fish!” And old standards like “Crazy Eights,” “Hearts,” “Gin Rummy,” and even “Euchre” would be made fun, hip and relevant again!


  “I call. Whaddaya got, Bob?”
              “I’ve got three-of-a-kind, you Ed?”
              “Read ‘em and weep, Bob. Full house, Pansexuals over Two-Spirited!”


                “It’s a war! One, two, three cards down and now one up…hah, my mulatto boyflux beats your white cisgender!”

                Go Fish:

                “Got any anogenders, Lisa?”
                “Nope. Go fish! Do you have any trigenders?”
                “Yes. Dang! Here you are.”
                The possibilities are as endless as genders. Which means they are literally endless.

                I’ve got another new game (likewise involving cards) coming out in the near future.
                Look for “Cards Against Sanity” soon! It’ll be coming to a store near you.