Friday, March 31, 2017

Women With Penises...And The Lesbians Who Love Them

                Riley J. Dennis, who was born Justin Dennis, is a self-described “queer, trans, non-binary lesbian” who also identifies as a feminist. (How can one be a self-proclaimed lesbian and non-binary? One would then have to be either just a part-time lesbian or part-time non-binary, would one not?) Recently, via a six minute you-tube video, she posed that age-old question, “Are genital preferences trans-phobic?”
                Riley begins: “Some people are making the argument that it’s not cissexist at all to only be attracted to people with one kind of genitals. For example, these people might argue that being attracted to only women with vaginas in no way negatively affects trans people. On the other hand, I would argue that it’s more complicated than that. We all have our implicit biases built into our preferences, and gender isn’t as simple as just the genitals you have.”
                I have a question for you, Ms. Dennis: How can our biases possibly be “implicit” and “built in,” but not our sex? And, “…as simple as the genitals you have,” makes it sound as if we could just pick up whatever ones we want at Costco. “Sorry, Barb, I don’t have a penis right now, but let me run to the store, I think they’re running a BOGO on genitals this week.”
                Riley rambles on: “If you’re a woman who only likes women, go ahead, identify as a lesbian, but some women have penises. And if the fact that some lesbians might be attracted to those women offends you, it’s because you don’t think trans women are real women.”
                No shit, Sherlock. Thanks for clearing that one up for me. And, by-the-way, no woman has a penis. And, any woman attracted to those folks sporting a real, live penis is not a lesbian, just as those who have a penis aren’t women. By definition. We have definitions so that it is possible to  communicate concepts and ideas, distinguishing us, penis or vagina owners, from rocks, plants or amoebas.
                “She” then states: “I’m trying to show that preferences for women with vaginas over women with penises might be partially informed by the influence of a cissexist society.”

                No, it’s probably the same reason gay men have a preference for partners with penises rather than vaginas. Or maybe that’s why we call them gay. It’s so hard to tell anymore in this cissexist society!

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Tyrannosaurus Rex: Sensitive Lover?

                Size doesn’t matter. Or maybe it does. If someone says you’re a dinosaur in bed, that might not be a bad thing. According to a new study, Tyrannosaurus Rex may actually have been a “sensitive” lover.
                This bizarre new theory was spawned in large part by the discovery of a new member of the tyrannosaur family, Daspletosaurus horneri, or “Horner’s frightful lizard.” Unusually well-preserved fossils of the beast, which lived approximately 74 million years ago and was somewhat smaller than T. Rex, were recently discovered in Montana. The most striking aspect of the discovery was the animals “face.” After analyzing the find, scientists now believe the dinosaur and other tyrannosaurs- including mighty T. rex- wore a mask of large, flat scales, with regions of tough and protective armor-like skin around the snout and jaws. They further believe that the hard surface around the snout contained a great many “foramina,” or small nerve endings, essentially turning the dinosaur’s face into a remarkably sensitive “third hand.”
                Professor Jayc Sedimayr of Louisiana State University, the study’s co-author, stated that the animal’s snoot harbored “a complex sensory web.”
                Indeed, experts aver that T. rex used its tactile and sensuous schnoz to investigate its surroundings, build nests, delicately pick up fragile eggs, and, probably, to turn itself and its partners on.       
                In the journal Scientific Reports, the researchers wrote: “In courtship, tyrannosaurids might have rubbed their sensitive faces together as a vital part of pre-copulatory play.”
                So, the fearsome, 20-foot-tall carnivore with the bulky body and 9-inch-long teeth likely spent much of its time roaming around trying to get its muzzle nuzzled? The ferocious fossil engaged in “pre-copulatory play?” Who knew? Surely the sensuous, saucy, fore-play loving lizard and its passionate proboscis should be featured in a romance novel or maybe even an adult film, no?
                “My, what a big nose you have…”
                “The better to _______ you with!”

                Coming Soon: “Jurassic Park: After Dark”

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Michael Moore: Trump To Thank For Coming Extinction Of Human Life On Earth

            His Rotundity, Michael Moore, recently tweeted: “Historians in the near future will mark today, March 28, 2017, as the day the extinction of human life on earth began, thanks 2 Donald Trump.” How are they going to do that if humans are extinct, Mike? Are scientists not human?
Or will we not actually be extinct yet, and they’ll just be guessing? That’s not very scientific, is it? The vile pile of bile sent out a follow-up tweet stating: “Trump has signed orders killing all of Obama’s climate change regulations. The EPA is prohibited henceforth from focusing on climate change.”
Well, that’s not exactly true, but Moore has never let objectivity cloud his lack of judgement. I’m actually surprised that, even in full pout mode, he limited the coming Trump-induced extinction to humans. He probably meant “Life on earth,” rather than “human life on earth,” but misspoke.
It’s a damn good thing leftist loonies like Moore and Al Gore aren’t paid prognosticators. Although, come to think of it, in a sense they are. Some people continue to pay attention to them- even purchasing their books or tickets to their movies, despite the abysmal track record of their prognoses- instead of treating them as the pathetic, pedantic, prevaricating, pseudo-prophets of doom that they are.
Trump may actually have a hand in preventing the devastation of human life on earth, depending on how he deals with madmen such as Kim Jong-un and the Iranian mullahs. But the Prince of Grease can’t be bothered with trivial things like North Korea’s “Dear Leader” threatening to unleash a nuclear holocaust on the U.S., or Iran threatening to destroy the “Great Satan” and wipe Israel off the face of the earth. He’s too upset at Trump “killing” Obama’s climate change regulations, mandates that even many devout believers in man-caused climate change admit will do essentially nothing to change the trajectory of what they believe is occurring.

The extinction of human logic and reason has begun. In earnest. And that, not Donald Trump, could very well lead to our demise.

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Trans-specied Rights: The Next Big "Social Justice" Movement

                          The College Call-Out    (Vol. 48, #12, April 3, 2017)

                          “Inspiring news you can use,” courtesy of your local institution of higher learning!

                Harry Bison (aka ‘horny’) was incorrectly assigned a female sex and a human identity at birth. He lived as such until he was 19, knowing all-the-while he was living a lie. His parents even dressed him in panties and skirts for a time, until Harry (then known as ‘Tiffany’) rebelled and started wearing men’s jeans and leather shirts. Harry, who had always felt more at home on the range, came out as a male American buffalo on his 18th birthday, and says it was the most liberating experience of his life. Born in Boston, he eventually moved to Wyoming where he purchased a small cabin southwest of Casper. Harry owns a lawn service company and a few head of cattle and helps support himself by writing cheesy bromides for the Hallmark Cards Company.
                Harry is also a pioneer in advocating for the rights of those who have historically been the victims of misspecieing, a form of prejudice- deliberate or accidental- whereby another being simply, arbitrarily, attributes a species to someone that is incorrect/does not align with their species identity.
                 Harry has been lobbying congress to formally recognize and declare a “Trans Day,” possibly falling on the vernal or autumnal equinox, which would be a celebration of trans-capitalists, the trans-gendered, trans-logical, and trans-specied. Asked if he would also lobby for the rights of those who are trans-trans, beings who have decided to transition back to the way God made them, Harry replied, “F--k no, they are one weird group, dude. That’s sick!”
                                              *******************************************
                The College Call-Out is a print and online news-magazine published by a consortium of major American colleges and universities, dedicated to eradicating all discrimination based on race, creed, ethnicity, religion, sex, gender, sexual orientation, age, belief systems, morality, reality and species. 

                                                 “Species conformity is a deformity!”

                

Monday, March 27, 2017

It's No Wonder They're Gay

                 A terrible inequality has cast an ominous shadow over the fruited plain, yet no one will speak of it: a large and growing gap between the wages of homosexuals and heterosexuals. According to Money magazine, comprehensive data released by the United States Treasury Department in September of 2016 revealed that gay couples earn an average of $63,000 more per year than straight couples do. Lesbian pairs received $11,000 more annually than those in traditional male-female marriages. (For that matter, single lesbians, on average, are paid significantly more than single heterosexual women).
                Where is the outcry? Why isn’t the mainstream media filled with tragic stories of plucky straight folks trying to survive against overwhelming discrimination?
                Experts believe there are two main reasons for the gulf in incomes between homosexual and heterosexual working couples. First, far fewer gay couples have kids. Propagation of the species necessarily demands one partner take a leave from work, and sometimes even- at least temporarily- work only part time. Secondly, they say, a high percentage of gays and lesbians reside in major cities along the coasts, where incomes tend to be significantly higher than in the more rural areas of flyover country.
                Nice try, experts, but that doesn’t cover up the very real and pernicious discrimination that’s truly behind this heinous and intolerable injustice.
                My fellow heterosexuals, we must bridge the gay-straight wage gap. I have a dream that our children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by their sexual orientation but by the content of their character! I have a dream today. We must permanently penetrate the “sass ceiling!”

                “What do we want?”
                “Gay pay!”
                “When do we want it?”
                “Now!”
                 
                "What do we want?"
                "Gay pay!"
                "When do we want it?"
                "Now!"


                “Hey, hey, ho, ho, the gay-straight pay gap’s got to go! Hey, hey, ho, ho…”




Sunday, March 26, 2017

Australia Addressing Sexist Traffic Lights

                Australia is trying to combat sexism by making its traffic lights more progressive. Officials from Down Under announced the change on International Women’s Day, stating that it was an attempt at combating “unconscious bias.”
                What have they done? They’ve installed pedestrian traffic lights exhibiting female figures rather than the old, fuddy-duddy male ones, in an attempt to redress a social “stereotype that we may have about certain groups of people, which we don’t even realize we hold,” according to Fox News.
                The land of emus and outbacks hopes to achieve an equal number of “male” and “female” traffic lights, but I, for one, think they’ve gone about it in a hopelessly conservative- if not reactionary- way. These female figures are depicted in a dress. The Patriarchy always wants to place women in dresses or skirts in order to objectify them. How about portraying them in a nice pantsuit for once, alá Hillary Clinton?! Nobody, even her husband Bill, objectifies her. And, speaking of Hillary, what about lesbians and the gender-fluid? Can’t they be portrayed on these traffic lights with strap-ons or with the half-dress, half-pants transgendered symbol?
                I mean, technology is such that we should easily be able to clearly depict symbols for other traditionally under-represented groups like the poly-amorous, pedophiles, and those into bestiality…just for starters. We haven’t even scratched the surface of tolerance and inclusivity as it pertains to traffic lights. Certainly the “Walk,” and “Don’t Walk” directional verbiage on semaphores could be broader, more inclusive and more exciting. Perhaps commands like “Prance,” “Don’t Prance,” and “Pedestrians Choice” would be more fun and inclusive!  

                

Saturday, March 25, 2017

Republicans Embarrass Themselves With Health Care Fiasco

                Snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. If you’re a Republican, that’s what you do. Must be in their blood. They could not repeal, and do not appeal.
                After repeatedly promising to repeal Obamacare, then taking control of the House, Senate and presidency, the GOP somehow managed to drop the ball yet again, getting outmaneuvered by both Democrats and themselves. The American Health Care Act, or RINOcare, was essentially Obamacare Lite, and would not have repealed certain vital- and odious- aspects of the laughably-dubbed “Affordable Care Act.” It would have left Uncle Sam’s nose firmly and permanently stuck in every aspect of American’s health and behavior.
                That said, one would think that Republicans would have met and hammered out a viable plan, one they knew would pass, long before they were to vote on one. In that case, had the Democrats attempted to kill the bill by filibustering it, they would’ve ended up with a black eye, not the Republicans. This fiasco will of course be used by progressives to hammer Republicans and Conservatives, and will lead to insistent, boisterous claims that they are unable to govern effectively. A claim that, in this case, is understandable. It will also lead to former president Obama gloating insufferably, something at which he is very good. Worst of all, it is yet another instance of Republicans making promises to voters that they don’t keep while in office. That is dangerous to a free Republic.
                In reality, this shows that the diversity of viewpoints is on the Republican side, and that at least some of them actually care more about crafting legislation than the Democrats, who universally will do whatever it takes to keep and retain power, period. Ironically, though, this does make it harder for them to govern effectively.
                As Ronald Reagan remarked, “The closest thing to eternal life on earth is a government program.” The GOP allowed debate over the bill to be framed simply by how many people would gain or lose health care. This implies that everybody should have health care. And, in the seven years since Obamacare was made the law of the land, many now feel that universal healthcare is an entitlement, or even a fundamental right.
                A few lines from Samuel Taylor Coleridge seem especially appropriate here:

                He went like one that hath been stunned,
                And is of sense forlorn:
                A sadder and a wiser man,
                He rose the morrow morn.

                

Friday, March 24, 2017

Trump Practices Devil Worship

All the news           The New York Times                       
That’s fit to print                                      Wednesday, March 29, 2017
          Trump Practices Devil Worship!
                 Washington, D.C.—President Donald J. Trump shocked and appalled Democrats and Republicans alike in this city earlier today when he averred that he loves the Devils. Even some of his biggest detractors were taken aback with the president’s open Devil worship. The hullabaloo stems from yet another careless, over-the-top, Trump tweet in which he expressed his great fondness for the New Jersey Devils professional hockey team: “I’m a New York guy, but always loved the Devils. I’m sure New Yorkers and Washingtonians alike will hate this. Can’t betray my guys, though. Love right wing Devante Smith-Pelly. Same for goaltender Corey Schneider. Prudential Center is okay, too. Go Devils! Sucks they’ll miss the play-offs this year. We need to make @New Jersey Devils great again! MNJDGA! Gonna order some hats soon!” Understandably, after such a shocking statement, recriminations came hard and fast. MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow said that the president should be burned at the stake. Many major newspapers have called on the president to resign. Nancy Pelosi stated: “I’ve always suspected President Bush was a Devil-worshipper!” Lena Dunham, however, commented: “I have to grudgingly admit, this makes me respect him…a little bit.” The New York Times? Well, we’ll take the high road, as always, and just remind the pudgy, illegitimate Commander-in-Chief that the Rangers will make the play-offs this year.




Thursday, March 23, 2017

The University Of Arizona Offers Tips On Dealing With Microaggressions!

                The University of Arizona recently distributed a 20-page booklet recommending to faculty that when a student feels “victimized” by a “microaggression” the appropriate response should be to say “ouch.” And the correct response from the offender should be to say “oops.”
                Why not, “I’m rubber, you’re glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you!” and “nuh-uh,” respectively? It would be cleverer than the booklets suggestions.
                The sage advice just keeps leaping from the truncated treatise’s pages: “If necessary, there can be further dialogue about this exchange.” Dialogue?! The easily offended young scholars will be regular Shakespeares in no time! I’d hate to hear the school’s debate team in action:
                “Is not!”
                “Is!”
                “Is not!”
                One certainly gets good bang for one’s educational buck at the U of A! Why, the booklet even offers a definition of microagressions, stating that they are “the everyday verbal, nonverbal, and environmental slights, snubs or insults, whether intentional or unintentional, that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative messages to target persons based solely upon their marginalized group membership.”
                First off, how do you slight, snub or insult somebody environmentally?
                “This orange wallpaper is hideous, don’t you think?”
                “Are you kidding, it’s to die for. Ouch!”
                Or perhaps, “This stupid tree has dripped sap all over my bike”
                “Oh…my…God. I mean, OMG! We couldn’t breathe without trees, dude. In fact, I can’t breathe now! Ouch!”
                Secondly, whatever happened to the melting pot, to all of us just being Americans? No one is an American anymore, we are all a member of some supposedly marginalized sub-group. We should all take offense at that.
                All you pathetic, entitled, fragile, paranoid, leftist sheep can take your perceived microaggressions and shove them up your little snowflake asses.
                Ouch?
                Oops.


Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Humans Surrendering Willingly

                People in Western societies are voluntarily giving up their distinctive and once-cherished freedom- and independence- that countless millions have died to attain, preserve, and defend for hundreds of years. We are blindly forfeiting our cultural inheritance, eschewing our good fortune, abandoning our Judeo-Christian values, surrendering our autonomy, and relinquishing our very humanity.
                Surely this is an exaggeration, you say. This must be a bit of hyperbole brought on by a bout of hysteria. Sadly, it is not.
                As we talk about robots taking our jobs, we speculate on the “singularity,” that moment when artificial intelligence surpasses our own. To say that there is no consensus amongst experts as to what will happen from that time forward is an understatement. Some believe it will be a good thing, some a disaster. More than a few believe we may end up as useless, outmoded slaves of these AI robots.
                Yet, apparently, many of us will soon want to marry them. The incredibly quick advancement in stunningly real looking, feeling and sounding “sex-bots,” that may be programmable, and can talk, flirt and perform a panoply of other bodily functions, combined with equally rapidly changing social mores, has many experts convinced that robot-human marriage will be commonplace by 2050. As if our birth rate in the West wasn’t low enough already, with gay-marriage legalized, contraceptives paid for by others (birth control oddly enough considered a birth-right), the ubiquitousness of masturbation and pornography, and the emerging refusal to recognize any difference between the sexes.
                For many in western nations, driving has been considered a necessity, a privilege, a sport and a way to leave your troubles behind while taking control of an exquisite machine. In the United States, it has been nothing less than the physical manifestation of our freedoms. Hitting the open road, man putting machine through its paces, and traversing the vast expanses and varying terrains of the fruited plain have been rights-of-passage from generation to generation. The staggering number of “roadside attractions’ and “drive-through/drive-in” restaurants are a testament to this reality. But now we are about to cede control of our travel to driverless and “autonomous” vehicles. “How wonderful!” roar the experts, “now we can get rid of many parking ramps, lots, garages, and the like, and make more room for pedestrians, bikers and nature lovers. And no one will actually need to own a car. There will be fleets on demand and it will be a much more efficient way to move people around!”
                Urban planners envision a day when everyone is housed, like urban sheep, in high-density developments in the city proper, and the “sprawling” suburbs of individual homes, three-car garages, and fenced in yards are no more. You won’t need to own a car, you’ll just call for one when you need it. Get it? More control for the planners, less control for us. Autonomous cars, dependent people. (There is no way I am giving up my ability to drive my own vehicle to wherever the hell I damn well please, whenever the hell I damn well please, without one hell of a fight. Just sayin’).
                For now our cars are going to be spying on us every second we are driving them, watching to see if we accelerate or brake too quickly, go over the speed limit, are on the phone, have beer on our breath, are listening to talk radio or are wearing clothes that clash. But every device spies on us now, from our computers and televisions, to our smartphones and vehicles. Even some of our mattresses have started recording our bedroom activities. (See my post, “Spanish Mattress To Act As Private Eye; 4/28/2016). We enjoy less freedom, privacy and dignity every day.
                Our leaders want to make us accountable to a one-world government. It is inevitable, they say. But a one-world government means a one-world bureaucracy. It necessarily means less freedom, choice and even “diversity” for its citizens. There is an existential reason for republicanism. It affords the governed the most freedom. It is “pro-choice” government by, of and for, the people. If one state/nation enacts a 90% tax rate or legalizes the killing of Jews, for example, I can move to another state/nation. One-world government?! What could go wrong?
                Moreover, Christianity is dying off in Europe and America, with its Judeo-Christian values that are the foundation of a free, vibrant, prosperous society based on natural rights and the rule of law. The massive influx of Muslims into these nations is combining with their low native birthrates and declining observance of Christianity to raise the possibility that Sharia Law may someday replace their constitutions as the laws of their lands, eviscerating freedoms and returning them to the dark ages.
                As if all of this weren’t enough, there are fewer and fewer workers laboring to pay for the ever increasing number of folks who can’t- or choose not to- work. Euphemistically branded “entitlement” spending is causing both those who are forced to give up their income- and those who receive income from those others- to surrender their freedom. When government arbitrarily seizes whatever percentage of the fruits of some of its citizen’s labor that it wants to, and tosses it at other citizens feet, it removes the incentive for both groups to be gainfully employed, and essentially relegates the latter group- and its descendants- to the level of livestock. Make no mistake, this is utterly unsustainable. Period.
                All of these things are eminently, easily fixable. But we won’t fix them. Because we have become too soft, too deluded, too compliant, too corrupt, and too cowed by political correctness to save ourselves. And too tolerant of those staggeringly intolerant leftists proclaiming that those who don’t believe tolerance is the highest virtue cannot be tolerated.
                We in the West are embarked on the largest mass-suicide and voluntary, eventual self-extinction in world history.
                                   *******************************************************
                Please share this with your friends and families, and anyone else who is receptive to saving Western culture…and humanity.
               
               

                

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Father Knows Best?

                                                     

                “Dear Joan, I would be remiss if I didn’t write you a note thanking you for the wonderful Father’s Day gift and card. And thanks for the 2-year subscription to GQ magazine! I love it! You know, it’s funny, it seems like it wasn’t very long ago that you were just a twinkle in your mother’s eye. After she got me pregnant, I had a little morning sickness and I sure gained some weight, but it was so worth it! It seems like only yesterday that we brought our beautiful baby boy home from the hospital. And now you’re 15! And a girl! Your mother and I are so proud of you! You know, it’s true, you can be anything you want to be, as long as you’re you.
                “Some families have a really hard time dealing with just one member transitioning to a different sex, let alone having everyone in the family transition, and in such a short period of time. Yet, I think it’s brought us closer together, don’t you Johnny Joannie? When your mother first told me that she wanted to transition, back when she was your father and I was your mother, I was actually a little apprehensive. Yet, when she suggested that I, too, switch sexes, I realized that this could be so cool! Talk about your role reversal! I thought, ‘I can be on top and he can do the damn dishes!’ LOL. It really spiced up our love life, too, let me tell you! But anyway, when you came to us and told us that you were tired of being a boy, our hearts just swelled. And then, the very next day, your brother, who was then your sister, just completed the deal when he said he’d like to be a boy. You know what they say, ‘like father, like son!’
                “Your mother and I also approve of your- and your brother’s- choice of significant others. How did you both find such amazing gender-questioning, two-spirited creatures? They are so loving and fun! We are so blessed by diversity!
                “In closing, let me say thanks again, dear, for the touching card and gift.

                “Love, daddy.”

Monday, March 20, 2017

PETA Files

                 Apparently, “People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals,” or PETA, is a typically twisted leftist misnomer along the lines of “Democratic People’s Republic of Korea,” or “Planned Parenthood.” The non-profit Center for Consumer Freedom issued a press release recently claiming that PETA killed more than 1,000 dogs and cats last year at its Norfolk, Virginia headquarters. The CCF dubbed the shelter at PETA’s Virginia location a “slaughterhouse,” where it “has once again massacred scores of potentially adoptable pets,” according to a Fox News report.  According to the Religion News Service, PETA has historically euthanized over 80% of the animals at the shelter.
                PETA officials claim that they only put down animals that are ill, in pain or unadoptable. However, CCF claims that while Virginia shelters as a whole killed 16.9 percent of the animals in their care, PETA exterminated almost 72 percent of those they took in. People for the Euthanizing of Tiresome Animals?
                PETA’s website helpfully explained: “So-called ‘no-kill’ or ‘turn-away’ shelters, which are supported by supposed animal rights activist Nathan Winograd, have the luxury of not euthanizing animals because they turn away needy ones whom they deem unadoptable. To be able to offer refuge to every animal in need, open-admission shelters must euthanize unadopted and unadoptable animals. The alternative—turning them away—is cruel and leaves the animals in grave danger.”
                Other shelters have “the luxury” of not murdering animals because they turn away “unadoptable” ones? And PETA thinks turning the unadoptable ones away leaves them in “grave danger,” while killing them is offering them a “refuge?!” Even People for the Ethical Treatment of Fetuses- I’m sorry, I mean Planned Parenthood- doesn’t claim to provide “refuge” to the babies it “aborts.” Even today the left can’t always come right out and say what it believes in, for fear of repulsing sane people, so it is fomenting a circumlocution revolution in a largely successful attempt to pull the proverbial wool over their eyes. It’s only a matter of time before radical progressives start looking for a euphemism for…euphemism.
                When kids as young as kindergarten age are being taught that one’s sex is a “meaningless and malleable” construct, you know we’ve got to put a stop to the pretense parade.

                Maybe the NAZIs would have fared better in the end if they had called themselves “People for the Ethical Treatment of Jews,” or “Planned Ethnicityhood.” 

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Lawyer's Pants Burst Into Flames During Closing Arguments

                 Stephen Gutierrez is a 28-year-old graduate of Florida International University’s law school. He is, in fact, now a practicing lawyer. Recently, he represented 48-year-old Claudy Charles, who was accused of intentionally setting fire to his own car. Gutierrez argued that his client did not set fire to his vehicle, but that the car somehow spontaneously combusted. As the young lawyer began his closing arguments in front of a jury, he was seen fiddling in his pocket. Shortly thereafter, smoke began billowing out of said pocket, and his pants burst into flames, prompting him to rush out of the courtroom and stunning onlookers, according to witnesses cited by the Miami Herald.
                After the jurors were ushered out, the suddenly inflammatory Miami attorney returned sans conflagration, unharmed save for a badly singed pocket. Gutierrez blamed a faulty battery in an e-cigarette, and insisted it wasn’t a staged defense. “It was surreal,” an observer told the Herald. Another stated: “A lot of people could have been hurt.”
                The paper says repeated calls to Gutierrez’s cell-phone went unanswered, and that Miami-Dade police and prosecutors are investigating the episode. Officers seized several frayed e-cigarette batteries as evidence.
                As for ‘Claudy’ Charles? Jurors convicted him of second-degree arson despite the allegedly unplanned pyrotechnics. Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Michael Hanzman could yet decide to hold Gutierrez in contempt of court.

                Well, you know what they say: “Lawyer, lawyer, pants on fire.”

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Mother Nature Transitioning, Time Marches On

NOAA News-- March 18, 2017
Silver Spring, Maryland-        
        
                It is mid March and Mother Nature is transitioning. In fact, he just announced that he now identities as a male and wishes to be called Father Nature going forward. The powerful but fickle ruler of the Earth’s atmosphere and weather released a statement earlier today in which he said he was tired of “working so hard yet getting blamed for everything.” He said that he’s always felt more masculine than feminine, and that this will bring him into “equilibrium.” He also believes that it might attract less notice, and be more socially acceptable if he “ran off for awhile” as Father Nature as opposed to Mother Nature. Nature respectfully requests that people hereafter use the pronoun “zim” when referring to zim.

                In a related story, Father Time came out as non-binary, time-space continuum questioning within hours of Father Nature’s announcement, and henceforth wishes to be known as “Parental Unit Time,” or “Pat.”

Friday, March 17, 2017

Trump Admits He Doesn't Like Girls

All the news         The New York Times  The Truth                        
That’s fit to print                                     Tuesday, March 28, 2017
          Trump Admits He Doesn’t Like Girls

                        Washington, D.C.—The most misogynistic president in U.S. history continued to solidify that dreadful status today, tweeting out: “I really don’t like ‘Girls.’ Horrible show. Stupid. Lena Dunham a crazy cow. Disgusting.” Trump only helped to confirm what many have long suspected. He has accrued his well-deserved reputation as a crass abuser of women over the course of decades, though this is the first time he has publicly stated: “I really don’t like Girls.” Women’s groups were predictably- and understandably- appalled at the president’s callous and hateful remarks. The League of Women Voters called for Trump’s resignation, NOW called for his impeachment, and a Planned Parenthood spokeswoman said Trump should be publicly castrated. NBC and MSNBC promptly offered to carry the potential POTUS castration live and commercial-free, and have already set aside air-time for the show, under the title: “The Unmanning of the President.” 

Thursday, March 16, 2017

New York Times, Washington Post Have New Ad Slogans!

                 Many of the nation’s top newspapers- purveyors of fake news almost all- have attempted to step up their marketing game recently via cheesy, fallacious sloganeering.  The New York Times has essentially positioned itself as “the Truth,” while the Washington Post, not to be outdone, has come up with, “Democracy dies in darkness.” Talk about an inflated sense of self-worth! I, for one, can’t wait for other major American newspapers to come out with their new slogans to jibe with the new age piffle. Let’s speculate on what these might be, shall we?  
                   
                The USA Today: “The Light and the Way.”
                The Los Angeles Times: “Because you can’t handle the truth.”
                The Atlanta Journal-Constitution: “The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance.”
                The Milwaukee Journal: “The less we know, the more we suspect.”
                The Miami Herald: “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”
                The Minneapolis StarTribune: “Run to the light, Carol Anne.”
                The Baltimore Sun: “No one is infallible. But we are.”
                The Denver Post: “Exactitude, dude!”
                The Portland Oregonian: “Veracity in print.”
                The Seattle Intelligencer: “The naked truth.”
                The San Francisco Chronicle: “Diverse. Tolerant. Righteous. Benevolent.”
                The Sacramento Bee: “Perfection on Earth.”
                The St. Louis Post-Dispatch: “Unimpeachable. Beatific.”
                The Detroit Free Press: “One, two, three, four, frag the rich to feed the poor!”
                The Columbus Dispatch: “Beneficence writ large.”
                The Orlando Sentinel: “Wisdom for the ages.”
                The Boston Globe: “America’s most recyclable newspaper.”
                The Hartford Courant: “Empyrean.”

                It isn’t hard to see why these purveyors of prevarication are going the way of the dodo. The less honest their reporting becomes, the more outrageous their sloganeering. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it’s hard to paper over the fact that they’re no longer worth the paper they’re printed on.


Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Trump Admits He "Loves" Russians!

All the news           The New York Times   “The Truth"                        
That’s fit to print                                   Tuesday, March 21, 2017
          
          Trump Admits He “Loves” Russians
       Washington, D.C.—Last night, president Trump took to twitter to tweet out: “I love white Russians. Black ones are okay, too. Might have a couple tonight. So sue me.” This stunning admission, first revealed in an exclusive report by MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow, seems to bear out what many of his political opponents have been saying for several months now. Some have already suggested the president resign immediately or face impeachment hearings. Speculation over just how close the ties are between the Trump camp and Vladimir Putin’s Russia has been increasing in recent weeks. The growing firestorm has already cost General Michael Flynn his job as Trump’s National Security Advisor and has also led to Attorney General Jeff Sessions recusing himself from any further investigations into charges that Russia meddled in the 2016 presidential election. Trump fielded follow-up questions from a number of reporters earlier today, remarking: “I like them both, it’s true. But, the cream in the white Russian just kinda puts it over the top. It’s yuuge, if you know what I mean. Otherwise, they are really the same. The same. Same old-fashioned glass, same vodka, same ice, same coffee liquer. I don’t drink much. Very, very rarely, actually. But I do love me a white Russian now and again.”
             

                        

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Iowa High School Students Apologize For Wearing Red, White & Blue Apparel

                 Iowa. Corn country. Middle America. The Heartland. Silos and church steeples, right? In days of yore, yes. Now? Not so much.
                Valley High School is located in West Des Moines, Iowa. Its students traditionally wear red, white and blue apparel to their team’s biggest sporting contests. Many wore patriotic garb while attending a recent basketball game against rival Des Moines North High School. This upset and offended students at Des Moines North, a more “diverse” school serving many refugee families.
                One question: if this “offended” the entitled migrant snowflakes, why the hell did they come here?! E pluribus unum is yet another vital American concept that progressives have nearly destroyed.
                Incredibly, Des Moines North assistant coach Morgan Wheat bemoaned to WHOTV.com: “Any normal person, any educated person can look at that and think, ‘What the hell are these kids thinking?’” As it happens, I’ve got a hell of a guess, asshole. They were thinking, “Let’s go support our team and maybe our country, as well.” But you were thinking, “Why aren’t they just smoking pot and thinking bad thoughts about President Trump like normal, educated people? Why did they have to embarrass their school by dressing in that patriotic shit?”
                The even greater tragedy is how the folks at Valley High responded to the hullabaloo. They sent a letter of apology to Des Moines North students. The school’s student council apparently crafted the letter, which stated: “It has been brought to our attention that the decision by the Valley High School student section to wear U.S.A. apparel at our game last night was offensive to members of your community and fan base. We are deeply sorry if we have offended anyone in any way.” Sickeningly, the timorous drivel continued unabated: “We have traditionally dressed in such a fashion for great games such as the one last night. Everyone here at Valley has immense respect not only for your team and players but for your community as a whole. Please know that our intent was in no way to offend or demean- just to support our own team in a way we have done before.”
                Here is how the letter should have read: “It has been brought to our attention that the decision by the Valley High School student section to wear U.S.A. apparel at our game last night was offensive to members of your community and fan base. That is patently absurd. We have traditionally dressed in such a fashion for great games like the one last night, and, actually, since about 1776. It is inconceivable that you could be offended by our attire if you came to this country out of love or a desire for freedom and opportunity. Therefore, there must be some other agenda at work, one which is deeply offensive to our students, fan base and community. When we travel to other countries, whether for sporting contests, vacations, or to permanently relocate, we are not offended if their citizens don the colors of their country’s flags or act in accordance with their culture and values. If we were, we wouldn’t have elected to go there in the first place. Oh, and we’d be called ‘Ugly Americans.’ Seriously, if you come to America- and here to Des Moines, Iowa, a land of peace, the rule of law, and great bounty- from starving, war-torn lands and you choose to be offended by those of us (hosting you) that are attired in red, white and blue…do both yourselves and us a favor: voluntarily self deport.”

                Any normal, educated person would.

Monday, March 13, 2017

Bucknell University Temporarily Bans Reflection

                Bucknell University covered up the mirrors in its Swartz Hall on Sunday, February 26th, in an effort to promote body positivity and self-love. (I’m pretty sure we don’t need to promote more of that). Construction paper was used to obscure the offending mirrors so that students couldn’t see what they actually look like, since seeing and recognizing truth and reality is not currently en vogue.
                Rest assured, however, that this cover-up was done with the best of intentions. Indeed, it was designed to draw attention to “Self-Love Week,” an initiative that took place February 27th through March 3rd at the august institution of higher learning. On “Eating Disorder Awareness Day,” signs were also put up over the mirrors, stating: “Today is Mirrorless Monday. Trust us, you look great! Take a break from the mirror today and be good to yourself and your body, regardless of appearance. Know that you are so much more than how you look.”

                If Big Education truly feels there’s an urgent need to protect the snowflakes from even seeing themselves- by obstructing their vision and putting up these kinds of messages, it is a sad reflection on all of us.

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Vegan Woman Attacks Chicken Truck

                Conservatives know that they have to watch what they say or be subject to attempted ridicule, verbal abuse, job termination, and even physical assault. Now, apparently, anyone not fully and ostentatiously in the “progressive” camp must worry about those things, as well…and what they drive.
                A Georgia woman was arrested recently after deliberately ramming her vehicle into a chicken truck- twice- and then fleeing the scene of the (non)accident. The driver of the truck called 911 as the car sped away. Madison County deputies found one of the car’s license plates in debris left in the vicinity of the collisions, and eventually tracked the 26-year-old perpetrator and her automobile to a home in Comer, Georgia. Under questioning, she admitted to being involved in the incident, saying she hit the truck because she is a vegan.
                Progressive whacko’s tolerance and inclusivity knows no bounds! “Say, I think that truck is hauling chickens. I don’t believe in eating meat. Have at you, then!!” They’ll tear up Trump signs, vandalize buildings, and trash sensitive environmental areas while ostensibly trying to protect them- and now we have to worry that if our vehicle sports a cargo or message they don’t condone they’ll go all kamikaze on it, too?!
                I like meat, but I don’t target produce trucks. Come to think of it, I didn’t tear down or steal any “Hillary 2016” signs either, or vandalize anything when it seemed certain Clinton was going to win. I must be behind the times, a sad throwback to a repressed yesteryear! I wish I could be more progressive.

                Maybe I’m just chicken, but I have no intention of engaging in fowl play to make my point.

                Unless I just did.

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Shroud Sourcing

                A new Morning Consult/Politico survey, conducted between March 2nd and March 6th, and published on the 8th, found that fully 44 percent of respondents believed it is “likely” reporters “make up” anonymous sources.
                But, according to a source I can’t reveal, 43% of those 44% don’t believe the (supposed) results of that very survey. President Trump himself does not like anonymous-source reporting, and also believes that some- if not most- of these sources are falsified, and that the “information” contained in these reporter’s stories is often fabricated. Unless I just fabricated that information.
                During his address last month to the Conservative Political Action Conference, the president stated: “They have no sources; they just make ‘em up when there are none,” un-anonymously citing “himself” as the source for that accusation.
                Only 36% of survey respondents said it is “not likely” journalists fabricate their unnamed sources… according to an unnamed source.


                                              ***Satire Alert***Satire Alert***Satire Alert***

Friday, March 10, 2017

Can't We All Just Get Along? (Kumbaya)

                Can’t we all just get along? I mean, deep down, we’re all the same inside, right? Surely, if we could just talk to our “enemies,” and show them we want to be friends, there would be no need for conflict and fighting.

                North Korean leader Kim Jong-un ordered the assassination of his half brother recently, an act that was carried out in an airport in Malaysia using VX nerve gas.
                “We are the world, we are the children…

                Oh, and he also recently executed five of his own security officials (using anti-aircraft guns, a technique that seems to be becoming a cherished way to eliminate those that offend him) for making “false statements.” (He previously offed a top official thusly for dozing off in a meeting). He also routinely threatens to hit the West Coast of the United States with nuclear weapons.
                “We are the ones who make a brighter day, so let’s start giving.

                A handbook allegedly found recently in an ISIS “training school” suggests the Islamic State terrorists are now teaching their fighters to eat infidels. In it, the group’s chiefs are said to even provide guidance on what parts of the body to devour, and how to prepare them.
                “There’s a choice we’re making, we’re saving our own lives.

                Iran, the largest sponsor of state terror on earth, has taken the unprecedented gift handed to it by the Obama administration and…dramatically ramped up its threats to the United States. The regime still threatens to wipe Israel off the map, still stages “rallies” in the streets, encourages protesters to shout “Death to the Great Satan” (U.S.), and is feverishly working on its nuclear weapons and missile programs, treaty or no treaty, while it’s openly baiting and mocking America.
                “it’s true we’ll make a better day, just you and me.

                Domestically, punks, anarchists, ignoramuses and paid thugs show up at Town Hall meetings to disrupt the democratic process and hurl vile remarks at elected officials, military vets and ministers. And, in one such meeting held in Louisiana recently, they booed…Jesus.
                Remember: “You can’t hug your kids with nuclear arms.”

                In 2016 alone, according to a website dedicated solely to meticulously documenting terrorist attacks around the world, there were 1,274 attacks carried out by Islamic extremists in 50 countries, killing 11,774 people and injuring 14,303.
                 “All we are saying, is give peace a chance.

                The canary in the (progressive) mine has died. The lengthy experiment in socialism, hyper-secularism, and inclusion without reason or end, has seen to its demise. This is the last, best chance for decent people to save the world, for those relatively good to stand up against the rapidly swelling evil. Extreme tolerance-naïve or knowing- and pacifism are not virtues. They are each themselves a form of evil, as they aid and abet it…and left unchecked must ultimately lead to the death of representative government and the rule of law.

                Remember, “Make love, not war!”
                After all, “Better red than dead,” right?


Thursday, March 9, 2017

Democratic Demagoguery And The Party Of Racism

                Democratic demagoguery knows no bounds, particularly when it comes to race. They see everything in terms of the color of a group’s skin, and, pandering pathetically, incessantly brand Republicans as racists. It is a “testament” to Big Education and the Mainstream Media that this fraud is able to be perpetrated.
                The simple fact of the matter is that the Republican Party was opposed to slavery from the party’s inception, whereas the Democratic Party clung lovingly to that heinous institution the way it clings lovingly to the heinous institution of abortion today. It was Abraham Lincoln, a Republican, who freed the slaves via the Emancipation Proclamation. It was the Democratic Party that fought against African-American civil rights, integration, etc., for many decades after the Civil War ended, through Reconstruction and into the modern era.
                In fact, they still are almost unanimously committed to making sure blacks don’t reach their potential, but rather continue to serve the Democratic Party. A shocking claim to many of you, I’m sure, but it is none-the-less true. How can I honestly make that claim? And how, then, are Democrats able to get away with proclaiming that they have black peoples best interests at heart while Republicans  don’t care about minorities at all, and in fact may want to exterminate them?
                Here is the answer to those questions: Republicans in general haven’t changed their core beliefs in two key regards, at least. They’ve always believed in natural rights granted by one’s Creator, and have never believed it is moral to “own” a fellow human being. But they’ve also always believed that everyone deserves an equal opportunity, but not an equal outcome, which is not possible even with the largest of oppressive governments, anyway. They’ve believed in freedom, and the hard work and responsibility that that freedom necessarily entails.
                By contrast, once the Democrats cherished institution of slavery was no more and integration was imposed, they felt some of their power slipping away. Once blacks were allowed to vote, Democrats had to pivot. They decided that, in order to be a majority party going forward, they would have to come up with a way to win the black vote. The easiest way to do so was to use the hundreds of years African-Americans had spent in slavery and subservience against them. They eventually crafted a message using and preying on the fact that blacks hadn’t been on their own, hadn’t been in full charge of their own lives, and had been told what to do for such a long period of time. They told blacks that the deck was stacked against them, that they couldn’t succeed even if they tried. It would be too hard. Why? Because those evil Republicans expected them to work hard for their livelihood, and would refuse to shower them with free stuff (and empty promises), the way they would.
                In a brilliantly executed and equally twisted maneuver, they have kept many black people in poverty and figurative chains, while getting them to vote for their continued slavery (in this one respect, Democrats haven’t changed), keeping the Democrats in power for long stretches of time. And Democrats did all this, in large part, by accusing Republicans of doing/being what they themselves actually do/are. Mind-boggling in all respects!

                They’ve hijacked an entire race.

                And appear to be damn proud of it.

                

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Heaven Yelp Us

                Yelp, the San Francisco based firm specializing in online reviews, will soon offer a new feature allowing consumers to search for businesses offering gender-neutral restrooms.
                Finally, I can leave my house again!
                “Yelp! I need somebody. Yelp! Not just anybody….” (My apologies to the Beatles).
                In a recent blog post, the crowd-sourced company stated that it would collect information from both businesses and customers in adding a gender-neutral bathroom category to its listings. The post averred, “At Yelp, we thrive on inclusion and acceptance.” The company sports a position entitled, “Head of Diversity,” currently occupied by one Rachel Williams. Ms. Williams gave credit for the idea to employees in the company’s products section who were “incensed” by efforts in parts of the U.S. to curtail transgender people’s civil rights. “The hope is that this feature gets business owners thinking about how they’re presenting themselves—who they’re supporting and why. Maybe it will start some conversations,” remarked Yelp’s Diversity Czar.
                I’m sure it will.
                Yelp was among the 53 companies filing friend-of-the-court briefs with the U.S. Supreme Court on March 2nd, in support of transgender teen Gavin Grimm (!), in a lawsuit against his local school board in Virginia’s Gloucester County. Grimm wishes to use the boys’ bathroom at “his” high school, since it matches his “chosen” gender. In a nod to the Third Reich, the school board’s fascist policy currently prohibits him from doing so.
                The reactionary, hyper-conservative legal group Alliance Defending Freedom, has filed a brief supporting the board, and chastised the 53 companies for disregarding any concerns that the majority of students might have about sharing bathrooms and locker rooms with transgender schoolmates. The school board and the ADF should remember this very simple truism: you aren’t what you are, you are whatever you wish you were. Duh! I mean, hello!

                “Look, honey, Yelp gave the transgender bathroom at the Starbucks on Grand five full transgender symbols!”
                “Start the car, dear…I’ll be out in a minute!”

                                                                                
                                                           


                                                                       

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Disney 2.0: It's A Gay New World!

                The Walt Disney Company is certainly positioning itself to succeed in the brave new world we are entering. No more Snow Whites and Bambis- at least as you once knew them- from this iconic studio. They are making a concerted effort to get with the times and the ubiquitous LGBTQIA program.
                The soon to be released live-action version of “Beauty and the Beast” will feature a gay story-line between LeFou and Gaston. Director Bill Condon told Attitude magazine that LeFou is confused about what he wants: “LeFou is somebody who on one day wants to be Gaston and on another day wants to kiss Gaston.” He added, “It is a nice, exclusively gay moment in a Disney movie.” Well, it’s about time.
                Disney has already broadcast their first gay cartoon kiss. During a second-season episode of “Star vs. The Forces of Evil” on Disney XD, two males smooch. Moreover, in a subsequent scene, two ladies share an “intimate moment.” This isn’t even animé! Usually, in order to see gay cartoon porn, one would have to traipse down to the local adult novelty shop, video store or “Fantasy House,” or penetrate the shadier reaches of the internet. Not anymore! Disney brings it to your kid’s channel! How fantastic and convenient.
                Attitude joyously proclaimed Beauty and the Beast “Disney’s gayest film ever,” and added that it came with a “same-sex surprise” for fans. Yay! Members of the LGBTQ community (I was too tired to add the ‘IA’ this time) have been pressuring movie studios and filmmakers for more representation in recent years, especially more on-screen portrayals. Attitude’s editor-in-chief called this a watershed moment for Disney, and stated: “By representing same-sex attraction in this short but explicitly gay scene, the studio is sending out a message that this is normal and natural- and this is a message that will be heard in every country of the world, even countries where it’s still socially unacceptable or even illegal to be gay.” He also said the film would hopefully help to change attitudes and “bring about real social progress.”
                We can breathlessly await Disney altruistically pushing the social-progress boundary even further in the months and years ahead. In fact, I’m hoping the studio will re-imagine and re-make many of their former classics to better align with modern-day mores and sensibilities. If they wanted to appear even more cutting-edge, the studio could mix and match various characters and scenes from prior movies, and put them into newly coveted situations. The following are some exciting, yet common sense, hints and suggestions for more “normal and natural” scenes:

                *I’m sure Ursula would jump at the chance to get her tentacles around Goofy, if you know what I mean. The creative geniuses at Disney should be able to work wonders with this idea. Is eight really enough?
                *Disney could put Captain Hook and Cruella De Vil together for some truly twisted- and delicious- sado-masochistic fun. And the timing couldn’t be better. BDSM magic at its best.
                *Buzz Lightyear…and Lightning McQueen? I think we all knew that was eventually going to happen. Who would be able to hold back the tears upon hearing Lightning shout, “Take me to infinity… and beyond, Buzzy baby!”
                *Mufasa could definitely make Rapunzel roar! (Bonus: they could compare manes). “Don’t be afraid, Rapunzel. Trust your instincts. The roar will be there for you when you need it.”
                *Sheriff “Woody?” Really? You know he could make Minnie Mouse squeak. Take away quote: “Wait a minute. I just lit a rocket. Rockets explode, baby!”
                *A smiling Cheshire Cat could take Tinker Bell to places she’s never been. Wink, wink…meow!
                *The Prince wakes Snow White up by climbing on top of her and doing “the nasty.” Who wouldn’t be overcome with emotion?
                *”Beauty and the Beast: 50 Shades of Gay.” Never-mind, they’ve apparently already got this one in the can. Disney at its beastial best!
                *Pongo marries Perdita…and there’s a close-up of them doing it…doggy-style! Another Disney first!
                *Tarzan explores the jungle- and his sexuality- with Jane…and a chimpanzee. You would feel the tolerance and inclusiveness!
                *I’m guessing this one is already in the works: Princess Jasmine and Tiana in a torrid interracial lesbian scene. So moving! Bring extra tissues!

                I can’t imagine that any of this would confuse the little ones in any way. And parents will surely be glad that the fun, escapist movie they thought they were bringing their five-year-old to now may force them to answer uncomfortable questions about aspects of sex and sexuality that one that age can’t possibly understand, nor should be forced to face.
                Jiminy Crickets! They’ve taken this “If your heart is in your dream, no request is too extreme” thing…too far.
               
               



Monday, March 6, 2017

Democrats Demand Sessions Resign

                Otiosity, thy name is Democrat! If truth in advertising laws were properly enforced, the Democratic-Farmer-Labor party, or DFL as it’s currently called, would be forced to change its nom de guerre to the Democratic-Academic-Media party, or DAM.
                Sadly, we now know, however, that these laws aren’t consistently enforced. For example, the New York Times has new ads out boldly touting itself as “the truth.” I’m sure they will soon add, “the light and the way” to that slogan. Talk about inaccuracy in media! What’s next, CNN claiming its acronym stands for “Conservative News Network?” MSNBC stating: “the bias stops here!?”
                In these surreal times, can an ad pitching the Washington Post as,  “trustworthy, virtuous, artless, hallowed, transcendent…divine,” be long in appearing?
                Come on. It would be more transparent and truthful if these outlets adopted a motto along the lines of: “Don’t question us…if you’d like to see your uncle Fred again!”
                These progressives are certainly entertaining. They accuse Republicans who are honoring military sacrifice- something they wouldn’t do- of “using” the veterans and their families, yet these self-same leftists believe that the people they use…should feel honored!
                And, suddenly, with Trump’s election, Democrats aver that it is a crime against nature for an American official to talk to- or be seen in the relative vicinity of- a representative of the Russian government. That’s odd. It wasn’t all that long ago that their entire foreign policy platform was: 1) If we can just talk to those with whom we disagree, everything will be alright and we could avoid these tragic wars the Republican hawks are wont to lead us into, and 2) Better red than dead.
                Ironically enough, though Democrats have called for Attorney General Jeff Sessions to resign because he twice met with Russian ambassador Sergey Kislyak when he was a senator and didn’t relay that fact to Congress during his confirmation hearing, it turns out that a number of Democratic senators have recently met with the very same ambassador and that Mr. Kislyak visited the Obama White House at least 22 times between 2009 and 2016.

                Better red-faced than dead.


Sunday, March 5, 2017

Democrat's Disturbing Demeanor

                 In President Trump’s address to congress and the American people last Tuesday evening, and in Town Halls all across the fruited plain, Democrats are now willingly revealing themselves to be something truly repulsive and ugly. Many Democrats stayed seated when President Trump entered the chamber prior to delivering his speech, and virtually none of them attempted to shake his hand, both of these in contrast to long-standing tradition and protocol for both parties.
                To my surprise, Trump smoothly- presidentially- delivered an impassioned, uplifting speech, calling for unity and bipartisanship. One of the evening’s most memorable moments was when he honored Carryn Owens- the wife of Ryan Owens, a navy seal who was killed in action against ISIS just weeks ago- and, of course, her brave husband and his actions. He, and nearly everyone in both parties, stood up and enthusiastically applauded her husband’s sacrifice- and her own- in a nearly three-minute-long standing ovation. A few Democratic luminaries, however, such as Keith Ellison (who was nearly elevated to the head of the Democratic National Committee recently), Nancy Pelosi, Bernie Sanders and Debra Wasserman-Schultz, appeared less than deeply moved- and possibly somewhat bored- and, though they originally joined in the tribute, clapping listlessly, sat down well before most others in the chamber. Later that same evening, Dan Grilo, a former Clinton aide/volunteer, mocked the widow Owens for “clapping like an idiot,” and letting herself be “used” by Trump.
                In a recent Town Hall meeting in Louisiana, Democrat plants- and possibly some actual locals- shouted down a minister who was attempting to deliver an opening prayer, turned their backs on a military veteran, and lustily booed when the minister mentioned Jesus.
                 Democratic bigwigs and operatives aren’t simply naïve and dumb. Conservative pundits believe that Democratic strategists are acting like this because they are scared and desperate. This is- sadly- not the case. They would never sanction- or participate in- these actions if they didn’t truly believe that this is what arouses their party’s base, and that this base will rapidly grow ever larger in number over the coming years, leading them back to power. And, unless current trends change, they are right. Period. Establishment Republicans would never engage in behavior like this, but are all too quick to step aside and let aggressive progressives have their way.
                The Democratic Party is careening ever more to the left. They are now the party of those that literally hate their own country, its Founding Fathers, Western civilization, and disdain Christianity, God, and Jesus. Additionally, they have contempt for those in the military- and the military itself- as well as those who are pro-life.
                That they so easily shun any pretense of decency, logic, reason, or morality in pandering to their base is sad, scary, and sickening.
                No truly knowledgeable, informed, sane, moral person could vote for the likes of Ellison, Pelosi, Sanders, or Wasserman-Schultz. Yet there they stand...or sit.