Netanyahu Wins! Putin Missing! Major Sun Flare! Nude Girls! Important New Posts From The World's Best Blog Writer!

                Some bloggers will do almost anything to drive traffic to their site. I, however, refuse to use the desperate and disingenuous tactics that others may employ, relying solely on my peerless content and writing ability to attract readers to this site. This is why I am confident that you will love this post, a lengthy dissertation on the subtle nuances of certain actuarial tables.

                Let’s get started, shall we…? You there?

                Okay, okay. Those of you sucked in by the Netanyahu election results, please read my various posts pertaining to Israel. Putin news gatherers please read my recent posts on Russia…and the Russian President. Those of you attracted by the Sun Flare headline, please feel free to browse around. Finally, to those of you who were scavenging for pictures of nude girls, I can’t help you. However, you might want to check out a few of my posts on relations between the sexes or genders. You may not be aware that we now recognize about as many genders as Heinz has varieties!

                I don’t know that you’d want to see pictures of all of them.

                Well, see you all next post. Godspeed.

                

Brian Williams Forgets He Wasn't On Helicopter Shot Down In Iraq

                 NBC News anchor Brian Williams apologized Wednesday, February 4^th, for “mistakenly” claiming he had been on a helicopter that was shot down by ground fire in Iraq in 2003.

                Williams told  the story in specific detail to David Letterman in 2013. The story surfaced again recently after Williams took a soldier to a New York Rangers game and inaccurate comments were made by the public address announcer leading to the soldier- and Williams- receiving a standing ovation. Williams was also praised on Facebook…until the actual helicopter’s flight engineer put up his own Facebook post stating that he didn’t remember Williams “being on my helicopter.” He did, however, remember Williams “walking up about an hour after we had landed to ask me what had happened.”

                The flight engineer and other crew members told Stars & Stripes that Williams was not in their helicopter that had been shot down but in one that arrived an hour later.

                This led to Williams’ admission Wednesday on Facebook that he had been on the later-arriving helicopter, not the one that had been hit. He said that viewing the video of the impact area  “and the fog of memory over 12 years- made me conflate the two, and I apologize.”

                Well, I remember how I forgot I wasn’t in the Battle of the Bulge, so I can sympathize. I had read so much about it and seen maps and diagrams of the area that I just naturally vividly remembered being frozen and shot at by the Germans.

                Additionally, I'm quite certain I was in the World Trade Center on the morning of September 11^th, 2001, but that was over 13 years ago, so…

                I have at times also forgotten that I wasn’t on the Titanic or the Hindenburg. Lusitania?
                I do know for certain, however, that I was on Apollo 13. You can trust me on that one.

                Poor Brian. He means well. He just wants us to kiss his butt.

What's In A Name?- Part II

                Far too many serious posts lately, so, with the coming of the new NFL, NHL and NBA seasons I thought I’d post Part II of my team name analysis.

              Do to the recent controversy surrounding the (Washington) Redskins team name and the fact that the University of North Dakota was also recently forced to abandon its teams use of their age-old nick- name…the Fighting Sioux… I thought I’d conduct an impartial review of sports team names in general. Obviously, Notre Dame’s use of the “Fighting Irish” is fine, nobody could contest that since it only stereotypes a group of white people. But here is a league-by-league breakdown of some other iffy monikers:

                                                         Other NFL Squads

*Cleveland Browns…obvious affront to all the brown-skinned people’s of the world. Like Red…skins. Would you really be the Cleveland “Blacks”?

*Kansas City Chiefs…well, of course this too is fine…but not Redskins.

*New England Patriots…how do you think this makes all the people historically oppressed by America feel?

*Oakland Raiders…an overtly violent, macho, insensitive, non-inclusive sounding name. Just makes one…feel bad.

*San Diego Chargers…this is very hurtful to all those who still pay with cash or check.

*Tennessee Titans…holy cow. Not much love for the underclass here.

*Green Bay Packers…is this an assault on those who don’t pack, or a thinly veiled “back-door” slander of gays?

*Minnesota Vikings…your Aryan, macho plundering types again. How gauche!

*New York Giants…the hell with the vertically-challenged.

*Philadelphia Eagles…hurtfully making fun of us…the majority… who aren’t great golfers. Sick.

*St. Louis Rams…”Gently Bumps” would be better… if that’s ok with ewe?

                                                NBA

*Atlanta Hawks… “Doves” would’ve been much more appropriate in our modern era.

*Boston Celtics…holy crap! Drunken Poets/Singers already taken?

*Cleveland Cavaliers…perfectly symbolizes how lightly we take the naming of our sports franchises.

*Dallas Mavericks…leave it to a team from Texas. Have to stand apart from the rest of us. Not a team player.

*Detroit Pistons…in this era of global warming… an ode to the internal combustion engine? Wouldn’t “Solar Heating Panels” be a better name?

*Golden State Warriors…really…on the west coast even? OMG…I feel faint. Hopefully it’s referencing  Native Americans…oops, sorry, that’s bad, too…

*Indianapolis Pacers…an obvious swipe at a small, challenged GMC automobile. It’s extinct now, can’t we finally leave it be?

*Miami Heat…ok, but maybe the “Global Warming” would be more accurate.

*Milwaukee Bucks… does that not seem sexist enough for you?

                                                                   NHL

*Buffalo Sabres…no team should have weapons on their jerseys.

*Columbus Blue Jackets…it’s actually the town’s name that’s offensive here! He didn’t discover America, never set foot here, yet somehow he did lead to its rape!

*Montreal Canadiens…what if an American- based team had “Americans” as their name? Takes Xenophobia to a new level!

*Nashville Predators…in this day and age we shouldn’t be celebrating stalkers and killers!

*St. Louis Blues… hurtful to people with depression.

*Colorado Avalanche…a powerful, white force comes down from on high to ravage unsuspecting peoples? Wow.

*Dallas Stars… excuse us, you guys are so much better than we could ever hope to be…

*San Jose’ Sharks…who are we deliberately denigrating here? Card-sharks? Loan-sharks? Great Whites?

                                                             College Football

*Notre Dame Fighting Irish…can’t imagine how African-Americans or Native-Americans could take offense at that.
*Oklahoma State Cowboys...Cowboy images fine, Indians not so much.
*Nebraska Cornhuskers...have you seen this mascot? He looks like a ghastly- white country bumpkin with a head enlarged by H.G.H. who is vaguely surprised at everything he is seeing. Wouldn't be surprised to see him flying in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Heterophobia?

                Obviously, there are homosexuals who can’t 'control' their behavior. Can’t will themselves to be something they are not. Destined by mother nature to be the way they are, how very tragic it would be to even try to change them. Indeed they should be championed. Only a fanatical, right-wing,  homophobic bigot could think otherwise.

                Of this I have no doubt. They should celebrate their ‘queerness.’

                Yet, if this is accepted, and why not, then by logical extension, equality of application, definition…there are certainly those males born- also through no fault of their own- on the other end of the spectrum…who simply can’t help but drop the odd sexist comment. No way they can stop ogling/fondling their secretaries breasts or butts. Or teasing the occasional gay guy.

                Yet this too, then, should be celebrated, not reviled, in a progressive, tolerant, equal, liberated, diverse, non-repressed society! The poor, oppressed hyper-male has no choice. Born this way, you see. Only the biased, bigoted, western Christian society could blame him, the real victim, for his actions. (Again, this is not a critique of gays. It is a plea for logic and honesty. And equilibrium).

               There are so many gender assignations/classifications now, it's impossible to keep track of them. So, I say, what about the male lesbian? Hmmmmmm? What possible chance does he have in our repressed, intolerant society?  Celebrate the He’sbians!

                “We’re fierce, we’re He’sbians, and we’re in your face!”

                Deal with it.