Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Regulation 225: Delaware Degeneracy


                “Mom, I’m home! And, by-the-way, I’m now a black lesbian girl named Tasha! Isn’t that cool?”
                “Why, it sure is Johnny—I mean Tasha! Did you learn that at school?”
                “Yeah, mom. They told us we had the inali-, um, inaleenabl-, uh, the right to choose whatever gender identity and race we want to identify as!”
                “Well, Tash! Best. Lesson. Ever. Right?”
                “Yeah! The best!”
                “Let’s march ourselves right over to Victoria’s Secret, honey, we’ve got some shopping to do!”
                “Yay! You’re the best mommy ever!”
                “Um, about that, dear…”

                Regulation 225 is being considered in the Delaware legislature. The proposal would let students as young as 5-years-old choose their own gender-identity and race, without approval from their parents. The proposal, known as “Prohibition Of Discrimination,” has caused an uproar in the Blue Hen State. There are a few parents who claim a more welcoming climate is needed for their transgender and/or non-binary children. On the other hand, some parents say the proposal would infringe on their basic parental rights.
                Under Regulation 225, the First State’s schools would be required to provide access to all facilities and activities that are consistent with a student's gender identity—regardless of the child's sex at birth. That would include bathrooms, locker rooms, and team sports. School employees would have to use the child’s “preferred” name. The proposal would also allow students to choose their own race. More shocking yet, this new regulation would not require schools to inform parents of their child’s decision(s). The policy advises administrators to assess and consider the child’s well-being before opting to disclose the information to the child’s parents. The child would have the option to “choose” his/her/whatever gender and race even if the parent(s) disagree with the decision.
                Mark Purpura, president of Equality Delaware, offered up this shining example of doublespeak: "The regulation isn't about keeping a secret, it's about what's in the best interest of the child. The reality is there are children living in fear who do not feel comfortable coming out to their parents as gay or transgender."
                No, Mark, the reality is that there are infinitely more kids uncomfortable sharing bathrooms, sports teams, and locker rooms with their peers based on their “preferred” gender-identity. The reality is kids are getting more and more confused and less and less fulfilled and content. The reality is many kids have lost moral guidance and are adrift and jaded. The reality is we are failing our kids by ourselves refusing to acknowledge any knowable truths and promoting the myth of moral equivalence. The reality is that we have committed a grievous sin by promulgating the notion that there is no right and wrong. The reality is that guns aren’t corrupt, confused, and evil. They can’t be. The reality is that people can be and are. The reality is that progressive’s policies will inevitably lead to more school shootings. The reality is that progressives favor unfettered abortion and this type of state-sponsored child abuse, as well. The reality is that they, not conservatives, have blood on their hands.
                The reality is that those pushing this proposal are the real “Delaware Destroyers,” apologies to George Thorogood.


Tuesday, February 20, 2018

The National Science Foundation To Consumers: "Stop It!"


The National Science Foundation, a federal agency, is spending $3 million to discover how to make Americans consume less food, water, and energy. That includes the creation of “Household Metabolism Trackers,” which can monitor all their diabolical consumptive activities. The project, approved by the Obama administration (imagine that!), seeks to “change people’s behavior” out of fear of global warming. (There’s that “change” thing again. The entire Obama presidency was an Orwellian attempt at mass behavior-modification). Global warming? Soon we’ll likely have the opposite problem. We’ll have to encourage everyone to eat like Michael Moore after a 2-bong binge, use water like a typical municipal government sprinkler system that tends to flood sidewalks, parking lots, and roadways while it’s pouring rain, and consume energy like the globetrotting Al Gore and his household.
To teach families how to consume less, “interactive role-playing activities” are being developed. I’ve got an interactive role-playing activity in mind now for the NSF: here, sit on this!
Can you imagine how the Founders would react to these bloated, tyrannical, government agencies if they were alive today? To Big Brother and His partner, The Nanny State? Or, how these agencies would react to them?
The NSF: “George, put down that whiskey. Ben, step away from that beer stein. John, do you really need that second drumstick? Thomas, what’s with the water usage at Monticello? We know you grow a lot of stuff, but really! By-the-way, we’re imposing heavy retroactive fines on you guys for the unauthorized dumping of all that tea into Boston Harbor! The clean-up costs were substantial! Hey, wait, what are you guys doing? We didn’t give you the right to…”
Obama fundamentally transformed “eat, drink, and be merry” into “starve, dehydrate, and be wary.”
It is time The Swamp- including all those in Washington who are drunk on their own power- was fundamentally transformed…into a group of actual public servants of which the Founders would’ve been proud.
Tragically, that’s about as likely to occur as the National Science Foundation- or any other federal agency- trying to “discover” how they themselves could consume less…of taxpayer’s hard-earned money.


Monday, February 19, 2018

North Korean Winter Olympic Athletes Medal-Less


                The selectively mawkish media are making much of the “Unified Team” at the 2018 Winter Olympic Games in Pyeongchang. Those in the know, however, are concerned for the safety of the relative handful of North Korean athletes participating, especially as they have yet to win a medal. Kim Jong-Un does not want his Hermit Kingdom- and its citizens- to be seen as anything other than all-powerful winners and achievers. Failure on the world stage has traditionally meant that “winter is coming” for unsuccessful athletes from the North.
                Members of the 1966 North Korean soccer team were reportedly shipped off to Yodok Prison, aka “Camp 15,” just days after they lost to Portugal 5-3. They were also reportedly spotted drinking with local ladies- in public yet- so they probably deserved their fate. North Korean defector Kang Chol-Hwan claims he met some members of the team while he was being held as a political prisoner in the infamous gulag.
                More recently, the North Korean national soccer team was supposedly “punished” after getting trounced 7-0 by Portugal in a 2010 World Cup game. FIFA (The Fédération Internationale de Football Association) investigated reports that some of the players disappeared and/or were tortured in one of the many prison camps that festoon the nation after that result. Due to the reclusiveness of the regime, and the incompetence of FIFA, nothing was confirmed…but nothing was ruled out, either.
                In keeping with the new Era of Good Feeling- and modern mores- these 2018 North Korean Olympians will not be tortured or shot, even if collectively they don’t win a single medal, a highly-placed source informed me. Instead, upon their return to The Beloved Homeland, they will be given a chance to “train even harder” at “selected remote venues” around the Communist Paradise.
                The source told me that “unique training methods” will be undertaken, and that the athletes will be given the opportunity to compete in “unique sports, slightly modified versions of current winter endeavors.” Some of the new sports rumored to be included are sled-jumping (in place of ski-jumping), lice hockey (in lieu of ice hockey), waterboarding (instead of snowboarding), disfigured skating, the die-athlon, freestyle dying, and advanced skeleton.
                Look for NBC, CNN and MSNBC to laud the continuing efforts of the Dear Leader- and his sister, the Dear Minister of State Propaganda- to provide the means and motivation necessary for their country’s athletes to someday successfully compete in international sporting events.
               



Sunday, February 18, 2018

University Of California-Merced: Whine, Women And Dongs


                          “Woman” Of Ill Repute In California-

Many folks at the University of California-Merced decried the rather reactionary rigidity of the word “woman,” so the school now uses “womxn” in place of “woman” (or “women”) in its course descriptions and department designations. The institution of higher learning avows it now deliberately misspells these words “to be more inclusive of the diversity within the category of womxn.” (In defiance of the old cliché, at U-Cal-Merced, “woman’s” work is truly done).
In reality, of course, this is nothing more than pandering and virtue-signaling of the most pathetic kind. Note to UCal-Merced: words such as woman and man exist specifically to characterize, signify and differentiate, to let us identify one from another, lest cluelessness and chaos reign. This is true of all nouns. This is why we use words like refrigerator, oven, and washing machine, instead of just “appliance.” There are distinct differences between them, whether you wish to acknowledge it or not. If you reject this notion, and I submit that this is one area where the “the science is settled,” try putting your beer in the washing machine and your laundry in the oven.
Both men and women are included in the human family, but if we’re going to define the “diversity within women” broadly enough to encompass those that sport a penis or just identify as a woman on Friday nights at the local truck-stop, then the words are robbed of any meaning whatsoever.
The school’s athletic teams are called the Bobcats. I would propose it immediately change the nickname—slightly-- to “Bobcxts,” to be more inclusive of the diversity within the category of Bobcxt.” After all, there are male and female bobcats, and various color variations. For all we know, there may even be gay, lesbian, transgender and questioning bobcats. Certainly, the University of California does them a disservice, if, while using the word as its nickname and brazenly appropriating them as its “mascot,” it fails to recognize this fact.

Saturday, February 17, 2018

Genesis Debunked


            Tamara Kolton is a female rabbi from Michigan. She is also a psychologist. She recently attempted to combine the two disciplines by explaining to us how to properly interpret the Biblical story of Adam and Eve. (Whew! Finally! I had no clue what it was about! Where has she been all these…centuries?).
In timely fashion, she helpfully informs us that Eve was actually the first victim of sexual assault. By God.
 In fact, she equates God with disgraced Olympian doctor Larry Nassar. Here is Tammy, from her piece titled, “The First Story In The Bible Was The First Case Of #MeToo:”

The story that begins the bible, the first one that we learn in Sunday school, the founding story of man and woman upheld for thousands of years by Judeo-Christian religion, is actually the story of the first sexual assault of a woman. The woman’s name is Eve. And the perpetrator? God.
“I want you to think about this. Here is a young, beautiful, intelligent, naked woman living in a state of Grace. She’s hungry, so she does the most natural thing in the world and eats a piece of fruit. For following her instincts, trusting herself, and nourishing her body, she is punished. Her punishment? She will never again feel safe in her nakedness. She will never again love her body. She will never again know her body as a place of sacred sovereignty.
“‘What have you done?’ He God thunders. Eve wants to defend herself, but she is too ashamed to speak. Eve, our first mother whose name means the ‘mother of all living things,’ is silenced, much the way the ‘patients’ of Dr. Nassar were.”
Yeah, pretty much like that. Tragically, she continues:
“The founding myth of Judeo-Christian religion, the story of Eve, granted generations of men permission to violate women. It teaches us that women are liars and sinners. Even if “She” is telling the truth, she deserved it. God told her not to eat that apple, or wear that skirt, or go out after dark, or be pretty, or desirous, or in that bar or on that street or in that car or born a girl.”
Yes, that’s precisely what Genesis was intended to do…grant generations of men permission to violate sinful, lying women. Since Eve ingested that apple, it must mean that all women thereafter should be considered rape-able tramps. What else could God be implying? And, remember, He told Eve not to tart herself up and go clubbing! (Though, to be honest, I don’t know if the Garden of Eden had many bars). 
He also told her not to be “born a girl?” This may well be the single dumbest thing ever uttered in any language. Parroting Tammy, I want you to think about that.
Unfortunately, she’s not done yet: “This God, this man-made figurehead of the patriarchy, is not my God. He is a fiction, a man-made myth, but yet one so powerful that it’s poisoned and limited our notion of what GOD, the truly divine, is and can be, especially for women. It’s time for the one truly loving, compassionate God — the God who wants nothing more than to see Eve to rise and resume her place as ‘the Mother of All Living Things’ — to make herself seen, known, and available to all of us. The God I believe in is all loving. God is a Divine source of life and healing, not shame and abandonment.”
If you don’t like this God, create your own! I’m sure she’ll be more tolerant and inclusive! “Not my God,” Tammy? Sorry, but you might not have any control over that. None of us could have asked to be born for obvious reasons, and none of us created the world. As I’ve frequently noted, logic isn’t a progressive strong suit. Neither is dignity. Or decency.
Ben Shapiro, writing for the Daily Wire, eviscerated her “argument,” calling it “the single most illiterate piece ever written on the Biblical story of Adam and Eve.” He characterized the piece as beyond ridiculous and stated that it “defies description.”
In my humble opinion, he was too gracious. The #MeToo movement has rapidly morphed into the #NoClue and #IAloneAmWorthySinceIAmUniquelyVictimized movements.
Rabbi Kolton ended her piece thusly:
“Just listen…Eve, our blessed mother, is saying, ‘#MeToo.’”

No she’s not. She’s gently weeping. For all her descendants, women and men.

God save us all.



Friday, February 16, 2018

Tourist Scientist Lizard Spy


                Hassan Firuzabadi, senior military adviser to Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, told local media on February 13th that Western spies had used lizards to gain crucial information on his nation’s nuclear program, according to The Times of Israel. Firuzabadi, responding to ILNA News Agency questions about the regime’s recent arrest of environmentalists, couldn’t provide details but claimed the West had often used tourists, scientists and environmentalists to spy on Iran.
                A touring environmental scientist would really rattle them.
                Firuzabadi: “Several years ago, some individuals came to Iran to collect aid for Palestine… we were suspicious of the route they chose. In their possessions were a variety of reptile desert species like lizards, chameleons…we found out that their skin attracts atomic waves and that they were nuclear spies who wanted to find out where inside the Islamic Republic of Iran we have uranium mines and where we are engaged in atomic activities.”
                Lizards? Bernie Sanders, Mitch McConnell? No. I’ve known lounge lizards more likely to find Iranian nuclear sites. Chameleons? Jeff Flake, Lindsey Graham? Probably not. (Though human skin is made of virtually the same proteins as lizard skin).
                And what are “atomic waves?” Scientists say there is no such thing, per se. They also point out that lizards would not be attracted to deep, cold uranium mines. In fact, they seek out toasty-warm spots to hang out. Because they are cold-blooded.
                Just like the Iranian leaders themselves.
                                                        *********************
               (This is not the first time animals have been accused of spying in the Middle East: See my post of 11/9/2014, "Stork Busters," for example).



Thursday, February 15, 2018

Breaking News


Breaking News:
Item 1-

                Harvard Law School Professor Laurence Tribe, Idiot Emeritus at the School of Life and Honorary Buffoon of the National Lawyers Guild, tweeted out his most cogent thoughts on the Florida high school mass-shooting tragedy. He noted that every mass shooting has been perpetrated by a male, adding that this fact “suggests to me” that they are “driven by doubts about masculinity.” He finished with this clinical observation; “Small hands, big guns. A lethal equation.”
                Nailed it, Larry! Even if there was a scintilla of truth to the last, is it somehow okay to make a generalized statement about a group of men? It’s fine to mock them because of something they have no control over, such as the size of certain body parts? Would it be hip to mock a female for her small breasts? Make lethal assumptions about overweight women? Apparently, he thinks it’s okay to stereotype males in general and a subset thereof in particular. Or, maybe he just took a not-so-veiled cheap-shot at President Trump.
                Progressives have succeeded in splitting the country by ideology. There are now two groups of Americans. Those that pledge their allegiance to leftist dogma can often get away with saying and doing just about anything. Those that don’t…are smeared and reviled as intolerant bigots.
                                                                  **********
Item 2-

                William Mendoza, a senior policy advisor under former President Barack Obama, resigned from his position in November of 2016 after being arrested and charged with attempted voyeurism. Mendoza, 42, has been convicted of sex crimes after following women and taking photos up their skirts with a government-issued iPhone, according to recently released documents obtained by The Daily Mail.
                Mr. Mendoza, who received a $140,000 annual salary while working for the Obama administration, attempted to take photos and videos up women’s skirts while they were riding on the Washington, DC, Metro on at least four occasions in July 2016. Our tax dollars in action! You may be asking yourself why you’ve never heard this before. The mainstream media had no interest in the story. A government official involved in public sexual harassment, smart-phone hanky-panky, lurid photos…nope, doesn’t sound like anything on which they’d normally report, does it? Imagine if, instead of Mendoza, it was a member of the Trump administration. MSNBC, CNN, NBC, etc., would have one-hour nightly specials on the rampant misogyny and perversion in the Trump White House. Double-standards? See Item #1 above!
                                                                 **********
Item 3-
The left-wing public policy group Center for American Progress has fretted about unwarranted voter suppression for years. Now, however, they want to make it much more difficult for Americans in the military serving their country overseas to vote. The group recently issued a report titled “Election Security in All 50 States” (do we have seven fewer than Obama recognized?), calling for stricter standards to prevent cyber-meddling in elections. These standards would prohibit overseas military personnel from submitting ballots via email or fax.
Most states have incorporated vigorous standards to protect the integrity of ballots cast by service-members stationed or living overseas, but CAP will have none of that. The 245-page report reads in part, “Regardless of the state’s secure ballot return system for electronically voted ballots, we recommend that all voted ballots be returned by mail or delivered in person.” That’s progress! (“Preferably arrive on foot or via Conestoga wagon!”).
This tells you everything you need to know about the group. They want to make it easier for everyone else to vote, but harder for those defending the nation. Show a driver’s license or ID at the polling place? Hell, no! Not necessary! In favor of undocumented aliens voting? Hell, yes! Why not? Continue to “allow” those risking their lives for their country to vote? Of course not!
Unbelievable.
                                                 **********
Item 4-
Former White House staffer-- and all-around fruitcake-- Omarosa Manigault Newman said on a recent episode of Celebrity Big Brother: “As bad as you think Trump is, you would be worried about Pence—everyone that is wishing for impeachment might want to reconsider their life.” She told her fellow contestants, “I love Jesus, but he thinks Jesus tells him to say things,” referring to Pence.
The comment caused The View co-host Joy Behar to wig-out, saying on air: “It’s one thing to talk to Jesus. It’s another thing when Jesus talks to you. That’s called mental illness, if I’m not correct, hearing voices.” Even Joy’s word choice was incorrect. What she meant to say is, “If I’m not mistaken,” not “If I’m not correct.” As stated, she negated her own attempt at making a point. What Joy exhibits—on a show by show basis-- is mental illness.
To paraphrase a former anchorperson: “(And) that’s the way it is, February 15th, 2018.” Sadly.


               



Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Schools Now Banning "Best Friends"


                Dr. Barbara Greenberg, a child and family psychologist, wrote an article for U.S. News & World Report recently in which she suggests that schools should ban children from having best friends. She noted that some American and European schools already forbid kids from having “besties.” What’s the worst thing about best friends, you ask? She cautions, “There is something dreadfully exclusionary” about the whole notion of “best friend.” Ah.
                Though the good doctor admits some will scoff at her concern, she says she is focused on the “bigger picture,” the pain of rejection associated with having such an exalted pal. She wrote: “I am a huge fan of social inclusion. The phrase ‘best friend’ is inherently exclusionary. Among children and even teens, best friends shift rapidly. These shifts lead to emotional distress and would be significantly less likely if our kids spoke of close or even good friends rather than best friends.”  She added, “And, if kids have best friends, does that also imply that they have ‘worst friends?’” I’m guessing Dr. Greenberg’s I.Q. is roughly equivalent to her age. “You’re my closie!” and “You’re my goodie!” just wouldn’t have the same cashet in kid’s lexicon.
                Dr. Babs continued: “A focus on having best friends certainly indicates there’s an unspoken ranking system; and where there is a ranking system, there are problems. I see kids who are never labeled best friends, and sadly, they sit alone at lunch tables and often in their homes while others are with their best friends. My hope is that if we encourage our kids to broaden their social circles, they will be more inclusive and less judgmental. The word ‘best’ encourages judgment and promotes exclusion.”
                She goes on to say that she is not an advocate of “encouraging kids to have huge groups of friends,” and that she’d rather see “children having a smaller group of close friends.” Close friends or good friends?
                Magnanimously, the inclusive shrink says parents should not forbid their kids from “having contact” with an avowed best friend. Yet, she also doesn’t believe parents should be concerned if their child’s school prohibits its students from having best friends. (How the hell would a school enforce that?).
                In summation, Dr. Greenberg urges parents to “consider making a bit of a shift to your vocabulary and talk to your children about the importance of having close friends. Put less emphasis on popularity and having best friends.” It seems as if she’d like to tell each of us exactly how many friends our kids should have, while also specifically characterizing the “proper” nature of those friendships. I’m not sure that’s all that open-minded and inclusive.
                It is ironic that U.S. News & World Report chose to publish this article, given that it is famous for its “Best Rankings” lists, which judge and rank everything from hotels to colleges to…doctors of psychology.
                If using the term “best” is heartlessly exclusionary- and who could argue with a credentialed psychologist- the government should force big box retailer Best Buy to rebrand itself as “Good Buy.”
                “Give it a good shot” should replace “give it your best shot.”
                Personally, I am a huge fan of judgment and exclusion. Without these concepts, there is nothing but chaos and sloth, ennui and existentialism. I don’t want to be best  close friends with a terrorist, or have my kids be “good” friends with drug-addled anarchists. I’m simply not going to be inclusive of those who, though they are utterly ignorant of history- and current events- loudly and virulently trash those with whom they “disagree.”
               





Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Trump To Replace Food Stamps?


                President Trump has proposed replacing some food stamp grants with…actual food. This proposal to give the needy real food has, naturally, enraged liberals. Why take away the middle-man they ask? It’s heartless to take choices away from the hungry, they scream!

                It’s always amusing when leftist lowlifes try to rise to a high dudgeon.

                And it’s more than a little ironic that the only time liberals want limited government and a free market, free choice society is when they’re trying to protect massive governmental entitlement programs or the inalienable right to kill one’s baby. The fundamental principle at work here is summed up by the old phrase “beggars can’t be choosers.” If a person has a job- or jobs- and is not on the dole, they have earned the right to choose. However, if one is unemployed and wishes to purchase lobster, steak, Twinkies, and a few six-packs of Budweiser with other people’s money, it is more than moral to at least partially control their spending choices. Progressives actually try to reverse this common-sense guideline.
                The administration’s proposal would modify the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, or SNAP, formerly known as “food stamps,” affecting roughly 80% of current recipients. These recipients would get approximately half of their benefits in the form of a “USDA Foods package,” consisting of items such as “shelf-stable milk, ready-to-eat cereals, pasta, peanut butter, beans, and canned fruit and vegetables.”
                Hilariously, left-wing critics of the plan warn that it will increase bureaucracy and foster a more intrusive government, apparently hoping everyone will forget that is precisely what all of their policy prescriptions have been designed to do since FDR was in office. Others worry that the proposal, if put in place, would somehow “stigmatize” recipients. (This has certainly not been a problem in recent decades, for those on food stamps, and wouldn’t be a bad thing if it were true. A little motivation can be a good thing). Stigmatize? “Harry, is that pasta and green beans you’ve got there? Where are the steak and Twinkies? And, is that…milk…your drinking? Dude, I stopped by to share a Bud and a smoke!”
                The Vice-President for Food Assistance Policy (VPFAP) at the Center for Budget and Policy Priorities (CBPP), Stacy Dean (MICKEYMOUSE), termed the proposal “radical and risky.” Really? Gay marriage, transgender bathrooms, giving Iran and North Korea nuclear weapons capability…these policies they were solidly behind, but giving poor people food in place of cash is radical and risky? Their favorite First Lady in American history, Michelle Obama, acted as a one-person food Gestapo for the entire American public-school system, to their adoring approval. Unbelievable.
                The rotten “soul,”- or what passes for it- of the left is exposed for all to see. Progressives are in a permanent snit regarding all things Trumpian, even as they fawn over the delegation from North Korea at the Winter Olympic Games. Trump Derangement Syndrome is so advanced, one wonders: if Trump came out as gay, would previously Pride!ful gay liberals go running back into the closet, seek conversion therapy and denounce the LGBTQ community as a basket of deplorables promoting fascism and intolerance?




Monday, February 12, 2018

1936 Olympic Games As Broadcast By Today's Mass Media


            There can be absolutely no doubt about the fecklessness of the American mass media anymore. No matter your opinion of President Trump or tax cuts, its fawning over all things North Korean at the 2018 Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang, South Korea, is disturbing and despicable. Most of the Hermit Kingdom’s citizens are starving as the regime attempts to cow the world with ever bigger and more advanced weapons. The Dear Leader executes anyone who annoys him at the drop of a hat, often with anti-aircraft guns, including members of his own family.
And yet, CNN recently declared that Kim Jong Un’s sister, Kim Yo Jong, was “stealing the show” at the Olympics, and “would be favored to win gold” if “diplomatic dance” were an event at the games. They even hailed her as North Korea’s “answer to American first daughter Ivanka Trump.”
NBC tweeted out praise for the North’s 200-some-odd member female cheerleading squad, saying they are “so satisfying to watch,” as they chant, sway, dance and sing. And it just got more ridiculous from here.
Kim Yo Jong reportedly has a close relationship with her brother, North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un, and is director of the Propaganda and Agitation Department of the Worker’s Party of (North) Korea. As such, she has been personally sanctioned by the government of the United States as a key figure in the regime’s heinous human rights abuses of its own people.

Let’s revisit the historic 1936 Summer Olympic Games in Berlin, Germany, the first ever televised, as brought to you by today’s Western mass media, shall we?

 Wall Street Journal journalist: “What strikes me about these games is the cleanliness and discipline! The trains run on time and the Olympic Village is as pure as the driven snow!”
NBC correspondent: “And there’s Paula Hitler, resplendent in her Stellenleiter outfit with double swastikas. She’s the Third Reich’s answer to Anna Roosevelt, no doubt about that! What effervescence! Just lovely!” 
CNN correspondent: “We’re getting a good look at Joseph Goebbels now. Many folks don’t know it, but his first name is actually Paul. He’s just buzzing around, stealing the show with his gemutlichkeit and dignity, interacting with anyone and everyone! If diplomatic dance were an event at these games, he’d have to be favored for the gold!”

And, if Bullshit and Fake News reporting were an Olympic event…the Korean Central News Agency would be hard pressed to vanquish the likes of American entries such as NBC, MSNBC, The New York Times, and CNN.