Thursday, July 19, 2018

Democrats Unveil New Slogan


                Democrats recently unveiled a new slogan (just in time— they hope) to help them in the mid-term elections: “For the People.” Seriously. Time will tell if this one works any better than their last slogan, which was a bust. Last year, Democrats trotted out: “A Better Deal: Better Skills, Better Jobs, Better Wages.” That one had two main faults. First, many thought it was a barely tweaked version of Papa John’s “Better Ingredients. Better Pizza. Papa John’s.” And second, it played right into Trump’s hands, as he is the master of deals, and was already well on the way to creating better jobs and better wages, using skills he learned in business.
                Some Democratic leaders, such as Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi, have been urging their colleagues to quit spending all their time attempting to get Trump impeached and focus on the economy. This seems ironic, as it has never gone well when they’ve focused on the economy in the past. At least for the rest of us. And given the fact that Pelosi herself said last spring that Democrats would work hard to roll back the Trump tax cuts if they retake Congress.
                The Dems do plan to highlight Republican corruption going forward, though this is akin to Bill Clinton calling Donald Trump a philanderer. Or Charles Manson bemoaning violence on television.
                “For the People” makes me think of an R.E.M. song. Or a communist dictatorship. “The People’s Republic of China,” or “The Democratic People’s Republic of North Korea.” If Democrats retake the House and Senate, they will impeach Trump…for being Trump…and possibly bring forth legislation to rename The United States of America, “The People’s Republic of the United States,” or “The Glorious People’s Republic of America.”
               The Third Reich put the term “Arbeit Macht Frei” (“Work Makes You Free”) over the entrances to several concentration camps during World War II. Perhaps the Democratic Party, lurching ever further to the left, should claim the slogan “Unwissenheit Macht Frei,” a German phrase meaning “Ignorance Makes You Free.” It would be fitting.
   Higher taxes, unfettered abortion, open borders (and bathrooms and locker rooms), sanctuary cities, countless genders, separate rules for the elite establishment, speech/thought/gun control. All of these, should Democrats regain power, will be automatic…”For the People.”


Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Cisabnormality


                C-I-S. Cis. As in cisgender. “Referring or relating to people whose sense of personal identity and gender corresponds with their birth sex.” Cis is a meaningless term/add-on. Why not say ciscisgender or cisciscisgender? It wouldn’t make any damn difference. It would do nothing but make the word longer. It would simply be affirming or reaffirming or re-reaffirming what already is, verifying the meaning the word already holds and conveys.
                Why not speak of cislesbians or cisbisexuals? Cisgender is the opposite of transgender, but the cis is irrelevant, moot, much like Nancy Pelosi. “Sexism” in itself is enough. Sexism is sexism, is it not?
                Dictionaries have now been sullied by words like cissexism: “Prejudice or discrimination against transgender people.” And cisnormativity: “The view that all people are cissexual, i.e. have a gender identity that is the same as their biological sex.”
                Why not take this to its illogical conclusion and say “cistransgender?”
                I’d like to add a few more new words to the lexicon: “cisidiocy” (something notably stupid or foolish) and “cisdepravity,” (the view that depravity is now normative, mainstreamed) among them.
                How do I identify you might well ask yourself, but probably didn’t? I guess you could call me “cisquestioning.”

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Atlanta International Airport: Gone To The Dogs


                The Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport installed seven dog bathrooms last year. One for each and every concourse. It wasn’t until recently, nearly a full year later, that airport officials revealed to the public that the canine restrooms cost $3.9 million.
                Airport administrators were quick to point to the complexities of building inside a 24-hour facility in defense of the ludicrously high price tag. They said construction was limited to overnight hours and that existing facilities had to be torn down to make room for the new doggie loos. What existing facilities? Bathrooms for humans? Check-in counters? Maintenance closets? Air-traffic control towers?
                According to a Fox News article, the Federal Department of Transportation (FDOT) mandates that large airports have Service Animal Relief Areas (SARAs). A spokesperson for the airport told Fox News: “In order for ATL to be in compliance with federal ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) standards, these relief areas had to be built.” The total cost of building the canine cans was supposedly absorbed through “airport funding,” not taxpayer dollars, and is reimbursable through PFCs (“Passenger Facility Charges”).
                Well, OMG, WTF and BS.
                I have seen several pictures of these designated doggie doo-doo dens. These “relief areas” are replete with artificial turf and fake fire hydrants, among other amenities. Seriously. Although I didn’t see any bidets, so French Poodles are apparently being discriminated against.

Monday, July 16, 2018

I'm With Her?


                “Well, I’ll tell you, I’ve been back there listening to Randi and I’m so exhausted, I can barely stand here.”
                That’s how the ever-electric Hillary Clinton opened her speech to the American Federation of Teachers in Pittsburgh recently. What a leader! That ought to fire up her base as she prepares for yet another run at the presidency! What quality is more important in a president than the tendency to be easily exhausted?
                That’s correct! Sheer bitterness, rank entitlement and laughable hypocrisy! After receiving the union’s Women’s Rights Award—and pointing out how tired she was-- she launched into a diatribe lamenting how oppressed she has been throughout her life. She noted: “When I was growing up, there were scholarships I couldn’t get, colleges I couldn’t attend, jobs I couldn’t apply for just because I was a girl.” (Now we can say that about conservatives).
                She then remarked, “It wasn’t so very long ago that classified ads were divided into ‘help wanted dash male,’ and ‘help wanted dash female.’” (And it wasn’t long ago that bathrooms were divided into ‘male’ and ‘female,’ either). Before turning to attacks on all things Trumpian, she bizarrely criticized girls half-court basketball, whining that “They wouldn’t let us run on the full court.” (Think how tired she would’ve been if ‘they’ did).
                The staggeringly oppressed former First Lady and Secretary of State of the United States of America then started in on baseless attacks on the Trump administration and evil Republicans in general, saying: “They’ve gutted funding for schools and universities.” (In light of what universities are teaching now, I wish that were true).
                She said: “They want to turn us into transactional units,” and claimed that Trump supporters want a “man-eat-man, woman-eat-woman” society. (No, that would be the LGBTQ community).
                Waxing ever more preposterous, she asserted: “They are trying to rip the heart out of America” and “They want to turn us against each other.” (They? They? They! You are the one doing the demonizing and dividing, Hillary).
Averring that “The stakes could not be higher” she actually said, “You know, I used to worry that they wanted to turn the clock back to the 1950s. Now I worry they want to turn it back to the 1850s.”
The unionists applauded wildly.

What if former presidents had had Hillary’s personality and world-view?

Ronald Reagan at the Brandenburg Gate:

“Thank you very much. Chancellor Kohl, Governing Mayor Diepgen, ladies and gentlemen: I have an appeal to General Secretary Gorbachev, but first, I’ve gotta tell you how exhausted I am. I can barely stand here. As most of you know, I had an alcoholic father, and…”

FDR after the attack on Pearl Harbor:

 “Yesterday, December 7, 1941—a date which….but first of all, I’ve gotta tell you, I’m so exhausted I can barely speak. And, you know, I’m confined to a wheelchair through no fault of my own, so…”

Abraham Lincoln at Gettysburg:

 “First off, let me tell you all, I’m so tired I can barely stand here. And, I grew up in a one-room log cabin with a dirt floor. No one can say I didn’t have it rough, that I didn’t sacrifice. But, the world will probably little note, nor long remember that fact. So, if I don’t make it through this speech, I’m sure you’ll understand. (Unionists applauded wildly). Anyway: Four score and seven years ago…”
               


Sunday, July 15, 2018

Girlguiding To Allow "Transgender Girls" To Shower With Group


                Girlguiding, the largest girl-only youth organization in the United Kingdom, recently updated its rules, which apply to members from five to 25 years of age, “to allow members who were born male but now identify as female to share changing rooms, toilets and sleeping quarters with girls when away on excursions,” according to London’s The Telegraph. “The Girl Guides will allow boys who identify as female to shower with girls, it has emerged,” The Telegraph reported. What could go wrong?
                The 107-year-old charitable organization’s new guidance, issued on the group’s website, says that “the use of gendered facilities,” including showers, “can cause anxiety,” adding: “Members are allowed to use the facilities of the gender they self-identify as.” We can all remember from our school days that showering together, even as one sex and basically the same age, can cause anxiety. One doubts whether having males of various ages-- who happen to identify as females—showering together with actual females of various ages will put everyone at ease.
                Girlguiding’s Chief Executive, Julie Bentley, said that the organization follows the requirements set out in the Equality Act of 2010, which mandates that organizations providing single-sex services treat people according to their acquired gender. (One acquires a fishing rod or a new television, not a new gender). Ms. Bentley stated: “In line with our values of inclusion, we welcome any young person who self-identifies as a girl or young woman.” Don’t mind the beard and the boner!
                The government of the UK recently announced that adults can legally challenge their gender without facing “demeaning” rules that require people to undergo a formal medical diagnosis. I am sympathetic to their plight, as I myself am a wildly successful four-year-old thoroughbred racehorse whose chosen pronoun is “stallion,” and I sure as hell don’t want to be subjected to a demeaning formal medical diagnosis or evaluation.
                Incredibly, the new guidance states that it is not “best practice” to inform parents that a trans person will be attending a residential event. No, it’s best practice to let a 13-year-old boy who claims to be a girl to shower with actual young ladies.
                The Telegraph article stated that David Davies, a Conservative MP for Monmouth in South Wales, recently told The Mail, “If transgender girls who are physically male are going to be sharing facilities, it’s going to make some girls threatened and uncomfortable and the Guides shouldn’t be doing that.” What a whacko! Lock him up!
                There is a report that states the organization offers “girls a place where they can really be themselves with other girls and share the experience of growing up as a girl in today’s world.” No. It actually, explicitly, does the opposite. It offers boys a place where they can pretend they are not who they really are.
                The Girl Guide’s gender guidelines state: “’Girl’ is based on gender identity. This means that any child who self-identifies as a girl should feel safe and welcome in our girl-only space regardless of the sex that they were assigned at birth.” First of all, it isn’t a girl-only space anymore. And, the phrase “assigned at birth” calls to mind a doctor with a clipboard and a magic marker walking through a nursery alternately calling out, “Girl-boy-girl-boy-girl-boy-girl-boy” without checking under anyone’s hood. Madness.
                The article concludes by stating that “It is not known how many transgender members are in the guides.” I’m guessing two. But there are sure to be more after this decision and the publicity generated by articles such as this.
                                                                
               


Saturday, July 14, 2018

Man! I Feel Like A Woman! (Spanish Edition)


                Angela Ponce has been crowned Miss Universe Spain for 2018. The only thing unusual about this is that Ms. Ponce is a man. Well, at least he/she was born a man, or should I say was “assigned” a male gender at birth? This sounds like the completely arbitrary, random, meaningless designation progressives deem it to be. Ms. Ponce will become the first transgender “woman” to compete in the Miss Universe Pageant. Apparently not content to pile up victories recently in athletic contests, “transgender women” have now won a beauty contest, as well.
                According to The New York Times, while Ponce said her parents always supported her, she said, “But from the moment I was born, I felt that I was a public figure and that people somehow had the right to speak about how I was.” From the moment she was born? Wow! What remarkably precocious self-awareness! She obviously is a shy one. So, she identified as a woman and entered a beauty pageant. And those darn people still somehow think they have the right to speak about how “she” was/is.
                But she does too, having stated in an interview: “Having a vagina doesn’t make a woman. Even if many people don’t want to see me as a woman, I clearly belong among them.” Big whoop. I am not a woman, but I clearly belong among them, too.
                She also said: “There are women with a penis and men with a vagina, because the only key part of being a woman is to be and feel like a woman.” Nope. That’s not the only “key” part of being a woman. It is not a coincidence that the key part of a man fits perfectly inside the key part of a woman. Almost like a key in a keyhole. Almost like they were made for each other. Good thing, too. Or none of us would be here. That’s the real key, “Ms.” Ponce.
                Ponce says that most of the criticism “she’s” received has come from other women, women who believe that “she” will have an unfair advantage over other national beauty queens at the Miss Universe Pageant later this year. Why? Are the judges gay? Will there be a weight-lifting competition?
                Tragically, this may well be the case, however, due to the same political correctness that granted “her” victory in “her” own country’s national beauty contest.

Let's go girls, come on
We’re competing tonight, I'm feelin' alright
Gonna let it all hang out
(If you know what I mean)
I Want to walk with poise, really be their choice
So that I don’t have to pout
No inhibitions, make no conditions
If I’m a little outta line
The judges gonna act politically correct
So that I can have a good time
The best thing about being a tranny
Is the prerogative to have a little fun and
Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy, forget I'm not a lady
Men flirt, short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action, feel the attraction
Color my hair, do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I want to be free yeah, to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!
Come, come, come on baby
Man! I feel like a woman!

Man! I Feel Like A Woman
Songwriters: ROBERT JOHN LANGE, SHANIA TWAIN
© Universal Music Publishing Group 1997
For non-commercial use only.


Friday, July 13, 2018

Video Games To Be Olympic Sport


                Cue up John Williams’ “Olympic Fanfare and Theme,” competitive video gaming may be an official Olympic sport as soon as the 2020 Summer Games in Tokyo, Japan. It is almost certain to be a part of the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad to take place in Paris in 2024. I don’t know about you, but I’ve already got goose bumps.
                Gayle Dickie, CEO of Gamer World News Entertainment, recently stated that the International Olympic Committee (IOC) is considering adding “eSports” in order to attract younger viewers. Dickie told FOX Business Network: “I think including these sports by 2024 would be a fantastic idea not only for the country of France, but for the world in terms of increased revenue and advertising.” She said that Olympic Games “viewership is down 24 percent in the 18-49 demos,” adding that, with 2.2 billion “gamers” throughout the world, the addition of competitive video gaming will substantially increase viewership of the summer games.
                Why add them to the summer games? Wouldn’t it make more sense to attach them to the winter games? If it’s 22 degrees below zero out, staying inside and binge-gaming is almost excusable. If you don’t have a job.
                The original Olympiads were a platform to showcase human fitness and the beauty of a toned, healthy body and what it could do when properly molded and motivated. Is this in keeping with that idea?
                I shouldn’t be skeptical. What could be more thrilling than watching a 27-year-old man from Chicago, Illinois, who lives in his mother’s basement and spends 11 hours a day playing Grand Theft Auto and stuffing his face with Cheetos compete with an acne-faced youngster from the suburbs of Paris to see who is better at handling his joystick?
                I think the IOC should have three separate entries for eSports: a “Classic” division, a “Modern” division and an “Actual Sports” division. Those athletes competing in the Classic division would play “Pong,” “Asteroids,” and “Pac-Man.” (“Ms. Pac Man” might be better to placate the #MeToo types…as if any might be watching). Those battling it out in the modern division would be playing games such as Pok√©mon, League of Legends, Call of Duty, Counterstrike and Minecraft. The Actual Sports division would see teams competing in games such as the legendary Sega Genesis NHL ’94, Golden Tee Golf, Big Buck Hunter II, and Madden NFL 2024.
  The drama! The pageantry! Imagine, if you can, Team Uruguay facing off with Team Croatia in a heated game of Sonic the Hedgehog or Super Mario Brothers! Or Japan and Mozambique engaged in a pitched battle of Angry Birds or Star-craft 2. It doesn’t get any better than that. The thrill of virtual victory versus the agony of faux defeat!


Thursday, July 12, 2018

NATO Spending: Buildings Yes, Troops No


            NATO (the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, for those of you in college) opened its vast and lavish new headquarters last year, a building that was being constructed even as countries such as England slashed their defense budgets. The immense and showy edifice, located in Brussels, Belgium, cost $1.23 billion to erect. Upon completion, NATO proudly published photographs of the structure, noting that it would facilitate bureaucratic endeavors.
President Trump’s attendance at the recent NATO Summit raised the visibility of the ostentatious building, especially as he was trying to convince other member nations to spend less time suckling on the American teat-- by increasing the amount they spend on their own defense, which is, in many cases, almost nothing. Of course, the reason most of the member nations pay out only 1 or 2 percent of their GDP to defend themselves is that the politicians in these socialist-lite welfare states channel the vast majority of their country’s tax revenues into “entitlement” spending, thereby paying off the least productive members of society and buying their votes. And because they are used to the United States paying for everything, and are startled when informed this may not go on unquestioned in perpetuity. And possibly because they no longer believe in themselves, no longer believe in their heritage, no longer consider themselves worth fighting for.
Most NATO nation’s leaders are not big Trump fans, but it’s just possible that the Very Stable Genius is attempting to breathe new life into a moribund West.
The simple fact is that most NATO countries have not been meeting their commitments for military spending. So, to witness the staggering amount of money these nations have spent on a building for bureaucrats to play in is disheartening.
Germany, for example, is arguably the wealthiest of the European nations, yet, in recent years, its troops have trained with broom handles in lieu of guns, and reports state that only four of its Eurofighter jets—out of a fleet of 128—are combat-ready. No one wants a return to the Third Reich, but Germany should do what is right. And in its best interest.
Screwing the troops, who risk it all on the front line, in favor of lavishing spending on bureaucrats scurrying around a cavernous safe-space shuffling their feet and their papers is an affront to logic and decency. In neutron-bomb-like fashion, our long-time European allies appear intent on making sure their buildings will stand, but their troops will fall.

The Deep State will not protect us. Our militaries will.

If we let them. 


Wednesday, July 11, 2018

Pride!


                I have had it with how obnoxiously, in-your-face “proud” many sexual-orientation and gender-confused fringe groups have become lately. Everyone but heterosexuals in a committed marriage is openly, blatantly, stupendously “PROUD!” of their particular quirk and group. Equality under the law is one thing, but demanding to be elevated and worshipped for one’s personal kink is entirely another.
                Ted Hickman, Vice Mayor of Dixon, California, recently called for a “Straight Pride American Month,”……prompting many to call for his immediate resignation. Why can’t straight people be proud? I mean, we are responsible for creating human life, including the lives of those in the LGBTQ community. What is so wrong with that?
                We just celebrated gay pride month. Lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgenders, the questioning, etc., are all swelled up with pride. Can’t the rest of us feel good about ourselves, too?
                Every day one hears and reads about people—or their relatives—who are PROUD! of their proclivities. So proud, they just can’t keep it to themselves. We hear fathers say, “My daughter was incorrectly assigned a male gender at birth, but she identifies as a female now. And, she is a lesbian! I am so proud of her!” Or, “My son screws goats. I’m fairly bursting with pride! Up the ass. I Couldn’t be any prouder! Some people talk about ‘getting one’s goat’…my son actually does. Truly, so proud!” Perhaps, “My daughter is one of seven wives. She lives in Utah. Her husband showers her with affection one night a week. I’ve never been prouder!” How about, “My mom masturbates three times a day, every day. That’s so cool. She does it while watching dwarf incest porn. And, like, I’m so proud! I really don’t think I could be any prouder!”
                We’re going to have to add on to the LGBTQIIAA acronym. It is not nearly inclusive enough. How about LGBTQIIAABPM? Who wouldn’t be PROUD! of that?
                However, we all know there’s one group of people who not only shouldn’t be allowed to be proud, but should be (and are) ritually and permanently shamed, shunned and threatened: Trump supporters. They are sick. We know this in part by how many folks say they’d rather their son or daughter dated a gang-rapist/Satan worshipper/mass-murderer/Llama than a Trump supporter.

                Trump supporters? Shameful. Everyone else? Pass the lube.

                So proud!




Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Diversity Cards


                Whilst doing blog-prep recently, I stumbled upon a site selling “Diversity Cards.” The set I saw contained 387 different cards. True story. That seemed like a lot. Each card sported a question on the front and an answer on the back. The front of the first card read “All of the ways people are different.” On the back of the card was the one-word answer: “Diversity.”

                Ahh, I see.

                This got me to thinking: wouldn’t it be great if there were “diversity” playing cards? I may have to develop, market, and sell them myself. They would be perfectly suited (pun intended) for today’s society in which everything is seen through the prism of identity politics. It’s not enough to be just “American,” English, French or any other nationality. One must be a bisexual Latino-American or a transgendered, questioning, African-American, for example.
               Think of the fun folks would have playing common card games such as poker, “War” or “Go Fish!” And old standards like “Crazy Eights,” “Hearts,” “Gin Rummy,” and even “Euchre” would be made fun, hip and relevant again!

               Poker:

  “I call. Whaddaya got, Bob?”
              “I’ve got three-of-a-kind, you Ed?”
              “Read ‘em and weep, Bob. Full house, Pansexuals over Two-Spirited!”

               War:

                “It’s a war! One, two, three cards down and now one up…hah, my mulatto boyflux beats your white cisgender!”

                Go Fish:

                “Got any anogenders, Lisa?”
                “Nope. Go fish! Do you have any trigenders?”
                “Yes. Dang! Here you are.”
                The possibilities are as endless as genders. Which means they are literally endless.

                I’ve got another new game (likewise involving cards) coming out in the near future.
                Look for “Cards Against Sanity” soon! It’ll be coming to a store near you.