Friday, August 16, 2019

Brazilian President: Poop Every Other Day


                A journalist recently asked Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro whether it was feasible to—simultaneously-- spur economic growth, feed the planet’s hungry, and preserve the environment. Bolsonaro replied: “It’s enough to eat a little less. You talk about environmental pollution. It’s enough to poop every other day. That will be better for the whole world.” I’m on it.
               Bolsonaro, who has been heavily criticized for a surge in deforestation of the Amazon region since he took office, recently sacked the head of the government agency that reported the increase in deforestation. If his advice is heeded, perhaps he will promote the head of the government agency that someday reports the decrease in defecation.
   Bolsonaro went on to recommend that folks pee only twice a day, sneeze no more than once a week and limit coughing to the noon hour of the first Thursday of every month.
   Some are accusing Bolsonaro of stealing neighboring Venezuelan President Nicol├ís Maduro’s plan for saving the planet, as most of Venezuela’s citizens are already down to pooping once a week…… and many will never defecate again (as they have crapped out). These last are climate heroes all. Posthumous awards to follow, hopefully.
  Perhaps Bolsonaro should be encouraged to talk to the homeless in London, Baltimore, San Francisco, Los Angeles and Seattle. Maybe he could inspire them to poop only every other day, as well.
  Let’s clean up the Earth, one street and sidewalk at a time. Thanks, President Bolsonaro. No shit.



Thursday, August 15, 2019

Senator Kamala Harris Perfects Hypocrisy


                Senator Kamala Harris (D-Calif.) recently tweeted out a message linked to a CBS News story noting that there was one “baby” still “detained” by Immigration and Customs Enforcement in Texas. In high dudgeon, Harris remarked, “Let’s keep speaking out until every single infant is out of detention in Texas and elsewhere. This cannot be who we are as a country.” It’s not. We’re the country that aborts roughly (!) one million babies a year. How about we keep speaking out until every single baby/infant is safely out of their mother’s wombs? Well, actually, even that isn’t safe enough anymore in light of Democrats new pro-murder after-birth abortion bills.
                Shortly after that tweet, Harris struck again, spewing out criticism of the Trump administration’s “immoral” and “cruel” policy of holding pregnant women in immigration centers. Was she concerned they wouldn’t get to the nearest Planned Parenthood clinic in time?



Wednesday, August 14, 2019

Biden A Gaffe Riot


                Joe Biden is to gaffes as Hillary Clinton is to excuses.
                Just can’t help himself. Recently, Sleepy Joe was speaking to the Asian and Latino Coalition at a Town Hall event in Des Moines, Iowa, when he said: “And another thing we should do is we should challenge these students. We should challenge these students in these schools that have advanced placement programs in these schools.” (Department of redundancy department). He continued, he continued: “We have this notion that if you’re poor you cannot do it. Poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids.” The audience applauded. Biden quickly added: “Wealthy kids, black kids, Asian kids!”
                Poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids?!” So, Joe, poor kids are non-white? White kids are, by default, bright and talented… and rich?
                The former Vice-President was attempting to disparage racial attitudes that he thinks can lead to unequal education outcomes. Attitudes he no doubt believes are inherent in Trump supporters.  Instead, he accidentally exhibited those very attitudes. 
                If Democrats choose Biden as their nominee for 2020, it will show they don’t care about competence and the ability to communicate effectively. Yet, if they do not choose him, and instead nominate an America-hating, socialist, ignoramus, it will show that they have truly, utterly and permanently renounced the founding principles of the United States of America.

                Let us hope they have the wisdom to choose correctly.


Tuesday, August 13, 2019

Not So Blissful Ignorance


                I am continually distressed by the number of “man on the street” or “woman on the beach” interviews of young people in which tomorrow’s leaders respond to questions such as ‘from whom—and when—did America gain its independence’ with answers like ‘umm, from France… in 1976?’”
   Today’s crop of Democrats may be well-educated in social-justice-warring and gender dysphoria, but they are similarly clueless about things that actually matter. In other words, reality. Virtually all of those vying to be the party’s 2020 presidential nominee are stupefyingly ignorant of history. Here’s an exquisite example: South Bend, Indiana, Mayor Pete Buttigieg was campaigning at the Iowa State Fair recently when a woman approached him and said she’d once met the late Robert F. Kennedy. According to a CNN producer’s tweet, she told Buttigieg, “I shook Robert Kennedy’s hand in 1968.” To which Buttigieg hopefully replied: “So you’re good luck?”

               The woman responded truthfully: “Not really—he was shot a month later.”

               Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play? Other than that, Mayor Buttigieg, how was the fair?

Monday, August 12, 2019

Beto O'Rourke Says, "Of Course Trump Is Racist"


              MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” co-host Mika Brzezinski recently said of the El Paso and Dayton tragedies: "I mean this is a president who seems to want these things to happen. How else can this be explained?" This statement is so sick it merits only one answer: “Mental illness and real hatred, Mika. Like yours.” She added: “He is inciting hatred, inciting violence, inciting racism if he doesn’t unequivocally call it off and say, this is wrong and we stand together against this and we are doing this, this and this to help fight hate crimes.” He did just that. And where have you been during the incessant attacks on Trump supporters and all those who refuse to surrender to the America-hating, socialist loving, leftist mob? Mika’s husband and co-host, Joe Scarborough, parroted his better half, dutifully opining of Trump: "As you know, he's inciting hatred now and he's been inciting hatred up until yesterday because he sees that as a good political strategy.” Yes, he has shrewdly calculated that the mainstream media, entertainment figures, Hollywood stars, members of the Academia-Deep State complex, and others who shape public opinion and hold power would be allies in his attempt to create an American version of a Fourth Reich, thereby leading to his political gain.
             Think my sarcasm is a bit much? Think again. Democratic presidential candidate Robert Francis Beto “It’s avocado, honey” O’Rourke appeared on “Morning Joe” after the mass shootings and compared President Trump’s statements with the rhetoric of Nazi Germany: “The only modern Western democracy… that said anything close to this is the Third Reich, Nazi Germany.” O’Rourke then mimicked a member of the media, asking, “Hey, Beto, do you think the president is racist?” To which he replied, "Well, Jesus Christ, of course he’s racist! He’s been racist from Day 1.” Jesus Christ has been racist from Day 1? Oh, he meant Trump. Anyway, the regenerative-dirt-eating Democrat added that the nation is “reaping” what Trump and his supporters have “sown.” In fact, we are reaping what “progressive” Democrats have been sowing for years: the all-out attack on meaning, dignity, tradition, the founding principles of the union, and the concept of e pluribus unum, “out of many comes one.” Envy, grievance and the blood sport of offense taking, in the guise of identity politics and intersectionality, have replaced gratitude and reverence as foundational American principles. No society can long endure this exchange.
           Democrats are now competing to see who can use the strongest, foulest language to denounce Trump and his supporters. Those who have the temerity to want to “Make America Great Again” are denounced as evil. To put it mildly, these attacks are misplaced.
 Nazi Germany essentially banned religion. Hitler disdained Christianity. Yet, leftists simultaneously accuse Trump of being Hitler and a crazed, right-wing religious extremist. Those in a truly tyrannical government crave power above all else, therefore they can’t countenance competition. The Deep State must be the One True God. Christianity becomes heresy. Jesus Christ—or his followers-- become racist. Or something. Perhaps deplorables.
It is a historical fact that, when governments take away their citizen’s firearms, they take away their citizen’s freedoms immediately thereafter.
Mika Brzezinski and those like her “seem to want these things to happen. How else can this be explained?” 


Sunday, August 11, 2019

Biden Grabs Girl After Gender Question


            An Iowa college student, a field staffer for Turning Point USA, asked former vice-president Joe Biden a simple question at the Iowa State Fair last week. The question? “How many genders are there?” Biden replied, “Pardon me?” and the young lady asked again. The front-runner for the Democratic presidential nomination answered, “There are (at least) three.” The student then asked him, “What are they?” This prompted a now frustrated Biden to issue a mild threat. He exclaimed, “Don’t play games with me, kid,” and proceeded to reach out and grab her by the arm in front of numerous onlookers. He then added, “By the way, the first to come out for marriage was me.”
The gaffe riot continues. At some point, there should be a “Best of Biden Gaffes” CD and/or DVD available for sale to the general public. Maybe he could use the proceeds to fund his campaign.  
            Three genders? Masculine, feminine and… neuter? Sleepy Joe apparently was aroused by the young lady’s question, but he shouldn’t have grabbed her arm. At least he didn’t come up behind her and sniff her hair.
He was “the first to come out for marriage?” This is doubtful at best, since, as old as Biden is, marriage has been around for at least 700 years, and likely much longer than that. If he was speaking specifically of gay marriage, that “institution” in no way necessitates a third gender.
As big a lead as Biden apparently still has in the polls, it does not appear likely to this reporter that he will yet prove successful in his quest to become gaffer-in-chief.

Saturday, August 10, 2019

Russian Nuclear Accident Obfuscated


                Rosatom, Russia’s state nuclear agency, recently admitted that five of its staff members were killed in an accident during tests involving engineering and technical support of new isotope power sources of a liquid propulsion system, according to a Rosatom statement. The tragedy occurred on a military site in northern Russia, near Arkhangelsk. No details were given.
                It had previously been reported that a liquid propellant rocket engine blew up, forcing authorities to close part of a bay in the white Sea to shipping and causing a spike in radiation levels in a nearby city. Regional media outlets have also reported that local residents have been stocking up on iodine, a substance used to lessen the effects of radiation exposure.
                As is typical, Russia’s Ministry of Defense was close-mouthed about the incident. In a brief statement released only after the story got out, the ministry said: “Nothing to see here. Is fake news.”
    A member of the general staff, on condition of anonymity, replied to a Western reporter’s question about the incident by saying, “Was only minor accident. How you say? A nuclear ‘boo-boo’ so-to-speak. Glowing? What glowing? Oh, that glowing. Is radiance of supremely happy Soviet citizens, basking happily in free and prosperous nation led by our Dear Leader esteemed President Vladimir Putin. Sorry, but I must go now. Do svidaniya!”


Friday, August 9, 2019

Baltimore


                                                               Baltimore

                The Media-Democratic Complex savaged President Trump for stating a simple, irrefutable fact: Rep. Elijah Cummings’ (D-Maryland) Baltimore is a rat-infested, crime-ridden city that Democrats have run into the ground, one in which no reasonable human being would want to live.
                The same Media-Democratic Complex was entirely untroubled by Bernie Sanders comparing much of Baltimore to a “Third World country” back in 2015.  It was similarly sanguine when Elijah Cummings himself referred to his hometown as a “DRUG INFESTED” place where people are “walking around like zombies.” CNN and MSNBC have employed the term “racist” over 1,100 times in characterizing Trump’s tweet. As far as I am aware, they have yet to describe either Bernie’s or Rep. Cummings’ words in a negative fashion…even once.  
                This is proof positive that any words the president could string together and tweet out would be met with derision and vitriol, whether that tweet was “I like ice cream,” “parts of America are beautiful,” or “I believe the Earth is round, not flat.”
                It would put today’s Democrats in a tough spot if he tweeted: “Socialism is the answer.”
                Many Baltimore residents agree with Trump’s assessment of the city, which sports the highest per-capita murder rate in America. Many have flooded Twitter with their own comments. And videos. Speaking of which, FOX45 reporter Maxine Steicher travelled to Baltimore’s Sandtown-Winchester neighborhood after Trump’s Tweet, to report on conditions in the neighborhood. The area is part of Rep. Cummings’ 7th Congressional District. Improbably, a rat was seen scampering across the background of her live shot, proving that God has a sense of justice. And humor.



Thursday, August 8, 2019

Hypocrisy, Thy Name Is Democrat


             The United States Senate recently—finally—voted to confirm Brian Buescher as a federal district judge for Nebraska via a 51-40 party-line vote. Buescher had faced scrutiny from Judiciary Committee Democrats due to his membership in an organization they found abhorrent. What is this dark, depraved and despicable group? The North American Man-Boy Love Association (NAMBLA)? The Church of Satan? Nope. The Knights of Columbus, a nominally Catholic fraternal organization dedicated to the principles of charity, unity, fraternity and patriotism.

            The sick bastard. It’s even worse than I thought.

How could he have possibly been confirmed?

Buescher was grilled by Democratic Senators Mazie Hirono (Hawaii) and Kamala Harris (California) late last year about his involvement with the twisted group. At the time, Hirono, referencing the society’s adherence to Catholic teaching on same-sex marriage, stated: “The Knights of Columbus has taken a number of extreme positions.” She then asked Buescher, “If confirmed, do you intend to end your membership with this organization to avoid any appearance of bias?” Societal mores (and consequently cohesions) have broken down so quickly in recent years that the age-old, virtually universally held idea that marriage should be between one man and one woman is now seen by many as an “extreme” position, held only by reactionary bigots, Trump supporters, and Nazis…effectively all one and the same.
But, I would ask, what have Hirono and Harris, among many other Democrats, done to “avoid any appearance of bias?” (Bias: “prejudice in favor of or against one thing, person or group compared with another, usually in a way considered to be unfair”).
“The Squad” issues anti-Semitic statements as frequently as day turns into night. Democrats at all levels routinely hurl epithets at the president of the Untied States, calling him “racist,” “unstable,” “dangerous,” “cruel” and “misogynistic.” They say he is a “fascist,” and compare him to Hitler. They demonize Trump—and all his supporters—as xenophobic, moronic, bumpkins. “Deplorables” if you will. Or even if you won’t. They claim Republicans as a whole are “mean-spirited” and desirous of tossing your wheel-chair-bound grandmother off a high cliff just for sh*ts and giggles.
It is essentially impossible for a modern Democrat to be pro-capitalist, and/or pro-life and/or pro-God, as that goes against Party Orthodoxy. (These, too, are now considered “extreme” positions, beyond the pale of the tolerant and open-minded). That kind of heterodoxy is now grounds for banishment from the party that many claim Thomas Jefferson founded, an assertion with which I beg to differ. Jefferson once wrote, in a letter to Dr. Benjamin Rush, “I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.”

No wonder the Democratic Party has now banished Thomas Jefferson.

Bias? Thy name is Democrat. Leftists stand for nothing if not tyranny over the minds of man. (And women, too)! Climate change? “The science is settled.” Period. Deniers will not be tolerated. But may soon be prosecuted. If a man says he is a woman, you have no alternative but to believe her. And you better use her preferred pronouns or you could be fined. Own your own bakery and don’t wish to bake a cake for a gay wedding or to commemorate an abortion? Sorry, you have no choice. Want to say a prayer before taking a final in your calculus classroom? Das ist verboten.

Progress, you see. Courtesy of the open-minded, tolerant, bias-free party.


Wednesday, August 7, 2019

El Paso Versus Dayton: A Tale Of Two Tragedies


                Leftists apparently believe there are good mass murders and bad mass murders. Perhaps even good mass murderers and bad mass murderers. How can I make such a sick suggestion?  Easy. Just look at the difference in coverage the two recent heinous tragedies have received from the mainstream (fake) media. The El Paso shooting has been given wall-to-wall, around-the-clock coverage, the perpetrator’s background and motives discussed ad nauseum. The Dayton disaster is primarily given play as regards the necessity of gun control in an America made violent almost solely by President Donald Trump, the shooter’s background and motives glossed over. So, if this is the case, how do progressives differentiate between them? Also easy. “Good” tragedies, those worthy of continuous airplay and thorough explanation, are those that are politically useful to them, whereas “bad” ones are those that tend to discredit their talking points.
              The El Paso madman was apparently looking for Mexicans to shoot, and, despite the fact that he explicitly stated Trump had nothing to do with his sick agenda, was easily thrust into the “violent, white, right-wing extremist” mold. The Dayton madman was apparently a leftist himself, and, ironically, a believer in gun control. Ergo, El Paso tragedy good, Dayton calamity not so good. The former is emphasized, the latter de-emphasized.