Sunday, January 21, 2018

Man Tries To Order Burrito From Bank Of America Drive-Thru

                “Dude, like, can I get a Burrito Supreme?”
                “No. This is a Bank of America.”
                According to various online reports, a Florida man was so drug (and possibly alcohol) impaired recently that he mistook a Bank of America drive-up lane for a Taco Bell drive-thru…and attempted to order a burrito from an employee.
                Police were summoned to the Tampa-area bank “in reference to a suspected impaired driver.” (Suspected?). A bank manager informed the police that a male driving a blue Hyundai had passed out at the wheel while in the bank’s drive-thru lane. The employee told police he beat on the car’s window until the driver regained consciousness, at which time the driver requested a burrito. The manager informed him that he was not, in fact, at a Taco Bell, and the man drove off. When an investigator arrived on the scene, he found Douglas Francisco, 28, at the wheel of a blue Hyundai in the bank’s parking lot.
               A Hernando County Sheriff’s Office deputy reported Francisco “made several statements that were differing from reality” during police questioning. (Sounds like Nancy Pelosi!). The deputy also noted that the man exhibited a “delayed reaction to questions as well as slowed movements of his extremities consistent with someone under the influence of prescription narcotics.” Francisco was arrested after field sobriety tests “yielded strong evidence of impairment.” Strong evidence of impairment?! The man tried to order a burrito from a bank! (One wonders if he tried to withdraw cash from a Taco Bell, as well). A search of Francisco’s person yielded both Xanax and Oxycodone pills, for which he had a prescription.
              Francisco was booked into the county jail on charges of driving under the influence, a misdemeanor, and released the next day after posting $500 bail. (And promising to stay away from drugs and drive-thru lanes, I hope).

 “Can I get chips with that?”


Saturday, January 20, 2018

Larry Nassar: Doctor Demented

                Larry Nassar, the former USA Gymnastics team doctor, pleaded guilty recently to sexually abusing team members during medical appointments. Incredibly, he is now attempting to play the victim card himself by complaining that listening to victim impact statements during his sentencing hearing would cause him too much stress.
                In a lengthy letter to the court, Nassar said he was “concerned about my ability to face witnesses these next four days, mentally.” He’s worried that this will be hard on him?! What a classically “progressive” outlook.

                What a monster.

                Did he ever think that his actions may have caused his victims stress? Or worse? Frankly, Mr. Nassar, we don’t give a damn about your feelings and comfort level. You forfeited your “right” to expect others to feel bad for you when you took advantage of those young girls.
                Fortunately, County Court Judge Rosemarie Aquilina, who is presiding over the hearing, summarily dismissed Nassar’s complaint, stating: “This isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.”
                Nassar, who is currently serving a 60-year sentence on child pornography charges, accused Aquilina of seeking media attention by allowing more than 100 accusers to give victim impact statements during the week-long sentencing hearing, characterizing it as a “media circus.” 100 young girl accusers? That is the story. He’s lucky he’s alive today, or he might not be alive at all. (“Can you say ‘guillotine’”?).  Judge Aquilina rightly noted that the proceedings are taking place in a public courtroom and that, “I didn’t orchestrate this; you did, by your actions and by your plea of guilty.”
                Progressives have a remarkable propensity to turn nearly everyone into victims, especially criminals. Be they illegal aliens, violent inner-city gang members, convicted murderers, or Female Democratic presidential candidates who are staggeringly careless with sensitive security information. Straight, white, males are the exception to this rule, so the diabolical Dr. might just get what’s coming to him. I hope so.
                Does history provide us with any analogous instances of those who engaged in illegal and egregious behavior petitioning the court to spare them from stress?
Can anyone imagine Benedict Arnold saying, “I know what I did was wrong, but please don’t make me feel bad about it, okay?”
                Would Al Capone have said, “I don’t believe I should be subjected to any testimony against myself. I just don’t think I’m strong enough to handle the stress. I mean, have a heart, would ya’?”

Friday, January 19, 2018

Minnesota Vikings Name, Logo Promoting White Supremacy?

                A writer for recently speculated that the Minnesota Vikings National Football League team would come under fire for its “Vikings” team name during the lead-up to the Super Bowl…should the squad make it to the Big Game. If you ponder that, in light of everything else that’s happened on the political-correctness front lately, it doesn’t seem far-fetched. He listed three primary reasons for his belief:
                One, Minnesota has a relatively low percentage of blacks among its population. (Although the African-American population is growing quickly, fueled by Somali immigrants attracted by the state’s generous welfare benefits). Two, no members of the team have taken a knee during the National Anthem. (Translation: The team’s players aren’t sufficiently, ostentatiously behind the Black Lives Matter Movement). And three, the Vikings logo is the “only major-league sports logo that features an explicitly Caucasian image.” Therefore, he asserts, progressives will start smelling racism. He opines: “Stand by for lots of stories on how few Somalis in Minnesota can afford tickets, and how overwhelmingly Caucasian are the crowds that attend games.”
                The original Vikings were not only apparently un-oppressed themselves, they were the oppressors in many instances. Raiding and plundering, sacking and looting. So we’ve been told, anyway. (Some historians even believe they pillaged as far south as modern-day Algeria, Morocco and Tunisia).
                Moreover, the team hails from “The Great White North,” where it’s white with snow much of the year. In fact, sometimes it snows so hard, there are “white outs.” There are many in the state who hold white collar jobs, though it has its fair share of white trash, too. The Twin Cities even have a suburb named “White Bear Lake!” And isn’t the word “north” itself really just a euphemism for white? White, white, white, white, white…white! Get the picture?
                If Denver University is getting pressured to drop its “Pioneers” nickname (see my post of January 10, “Pioneers No More?”), surely “Vikings” should be discarded. That moniker is made even more offensive in that is has “kings” in it. A male sovereign. Are you kidding me? Is this the 1600s? And the logo…horns? Really? Aggressive males with horns? Horny males? Every self-respecting leftist should feel like a victim of sexual harassment just by glimpsing the team’s helmets or logo. #MeToo!
                But, before we fall into despair, just think of what could be. The team could be shamed into doing the right thing, and actually become a beacon of hope and inclusion, a positive force for tolerance and good. It could renounce masculinity and violence, competitiveness and judgement. How, you ask? The team could keep the purple color scheme and simply replace the horns on its player’s helmets with transgender symbols…and change its name to the Minnesota Pride. How awesome would that be?! And what a statement for equality! Purple Pride, baby! Gay Pride! Transgender Pride! Lesbian Pride! Bisexual Pride! Polyamorous Pride! Two-spirited Pride! Everyone Who Has Ever Felt Marginalized By The White, Straight, Christian Male Hierarchy Pride!
                Alternately, the organization could be rebranded as the “Bi-Queens,” and the formerly iconic- but hurtful- mascot “Ragnar” could be supplanted by a drag queen named, say, Ru Saint Paul.


Thursday, January 18, 2018

Planned Infanticide

                According to its own most recent annual report, Planned Parenthood performed about 82 abortions for every single adoption referral it made in 2016. The report states that the organization performed 321,384 abortion procedures in 2016, as opposed to issuing 3,889 adoption referrals in that same year. Planned Parenthood should put up McDonald’s-like signs outside its clinics proudly proclaiming: “Millions and Millions Served (Killed).”    
                The institution listed its total revenue as $1,459,600,000, an increase of nearly 8% over 2015. Government Health Services Reimbursements and Grants accounted for $543.7 million of that figure, or 37% of its total revenue. Yet, the report lamented: “We know there are more fights ahead. We know that patients in states with hostile political climates will continue to face higher, harder barriers to getting care. Congress and this administration will try again to ‘defund’ Planned Parenthood and undermine our ability to serve patients whenever they can. But as we enter our 101st year, we are stronger and bolder than ever before.”
                82 abortions for every adoption referral? “Planned Parenthood” is the mother of all misnomers.
It is akin to the American Cancer Society giving out 82 packs of cigarettes for every cancer screen they perform. 
It is vile and repugnant. It is not only an affront to human decency, it literally diminishes humanity itself. This haughty holocaust, this generic genocide must cease.
We are- rightly- upset that some of our ancestors enslaved others for their own convenience, though this was tragically a common practice around the world at the time. We should be at least as upset that, in our “enlightened” age, many of our fellow citizens choose to kill innocent babies for their own convenience.

It is time to do the right thing…on a vast scale…and for our descendants. So there are some.

It is time to stop forcing taxpayers to fund infanticide. 

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

U.S. Government Funds Study Of Bulgarian Bells

                Don’t think there’s any room to cut the federal government’s budget? Think things are too tight as it is? Proud that your hard-earned tax dollars are going to fund so many truly vital programs? Believe conservative Republicans are just hard-hearted skin-flints?
                Last month alone, the National Endowment for the Humanities (NEH) awarded $12.8 million for some 253 projects as part of its latest funding cycle, according to the Washington Free Beacon. That’s exciting! To what end were these critical research grants awarded? (By God, let’s hope we don’t have a government shutdown, or programs such as the following may be in danger of being somewhat “underfunded”)!

                Here are a few of the indispensable projects that are receiving public money:

·         A study researching “poor posture.” (Not good for you. Stand upright. That’ll be 100-grand ).
·         The creation of an “immersive” video game about alchemy. (What?)
·         A study of “propaganda,” based on the premise that Fox News can brainwash liberals. (They are already brainwashed, that’s why they are liberals. Ever tried to watch MSNBC?).
·         Creation of a virtual exhibition of over 90 pieces of New Deal era art, all from the town of Gallup, New Mexico. (I don’t recall that this was a particularly rich period in art history. Maybe Gallup was an exception).
·         A book-length study chronicling the history of California wine-making, and its intersection with labor relations. (“The Grapes of Wrath?”).
·         A study of bells…in Bulgaria. (If this is too broad a topic, perhaps it could cover just the bells of Sofia, Bulgaria).
·         A study exploring “18th century sexuality.” (There was no internet, television, or phone service. No radio. No cars. No light bulbs or electricity. No wonder why they had so many kids).

Maybe they could combine a few of these crucial projects, thereby increasing efficiency and cutting costs, while making them significantly more interesting. If, for example, there was a virtual exhibition of New Deal era art exploring 18th century sexuality and its intersection with wine-making, I’d be there with my Bulgarian bells on.  
In all seriousness, it is high time the NEH and the NEA (National Endowment for the Arts) were tossed on the ash-heap of history. Taxpayers must demand accountability, or the government will run even further amok.
And then it will fund a virtual exhibition of it doing so…and a book-length study of its fiscal debauchery.


Tuesday, January 16, 2018

California Scheming

                 According to the U.S. Census Bureau’s Supplemental Poverty Measure, California has the highest poverty rate of any state in the union. That’s right…California. The Supplemental Poverty Measure factors in the cost of housing, food, utilities, and clothing, and includes non-cash government assistance as income. By this measure nearly one out of every five of its citizens is poor. This despite the fact that the state- and its local governments- have thrown a staggering amount of money at the problem, spending nearly a trillion dollars on various public welfare programs from 1992 through 2015 alone. Or maybe it’s because of that fact.
                California is the home of almost one in three of the country’s welfare recipients, despite having only 12% of its population. The progressives who have a virtual stranglehold on every aspect of the formerly Golden State’s government realize that continually increasing welfare spending attracts more recipients on whom this welfare money can be spent, thereby continuing to expand the numbers of likely Democrat voters. It’s almost too easy! 55% of the state’s immigrants receive means-tested benefits, compared to “only” 30% of native Californians.
                Another factor contributing to the state’s stupefying number of welfare recipients is the sheer quantity of its bureaucrats. California had an astounding 883,000 full-time-equivalent state and local employees as of 2014, many of whom work in social services. Many of whom could lose their cushy little jobs if a significant number of people were able to be taken off the welfare rolls.
                Extremely restrictive land-use ordinances and environmental regulations dramatically drive up the cost of housing and energy costs, contributing to the plight of non-wealthy Californians. The state sports the nation’s most expensive real-estate market. In 2015, not far from half of all households spent 30% or more of their total income on housing. And that figure appears to be getting worse, due to leftist lunacy.
                Progressives are pleased as their policies are working exactly as intended. Hollywood types and those in Silicon Valley are doing great. Their policies have a vastly disproportionate- and negative- impact on the poor and middle class. “But hey, they can go on welfare or other government assistance programs! See how much we care?” they say. (“Not to mention it’s a ‘win-win’ since it guarantees our job security, power and importance. Was that out loud? I hope not.”).
                California is a one-party state, akin to the old U.S.S.R., explicitly designed to enrich those in power while eviscerating the middle-class and perpetuating a growing dependent class. Yet all-the-while Hollywood portrays Republicans as friends of the rich and enemies of the common man.

                California’s official state motto is “Eureka,” meaning “I have found it!” Is it any wonder that more and more of its residents have lost their affinity for the state and are proclaiming, “Screw it! I have had it!” before departing the erstwhile “Land of Milk and Honey?”  

Monday, January 15, 2018

Democrats To Protest Trump's State Of The Union Speech

            Maxine Waters is among a number of Democrats refusing to attend the upcoming State of the Union Address, to be given by President Trump on Tuesday, January 30th. Nancy Pelosi, if she can remember, is among numerous Democratic women who have pledged to wear black in support of the #MeToo movement while attending the annual presidential speech. Talk about putting one’s self above one’s country!
These behaviors would have been unthinkable- or at least considered to be stunningly disrespectful and offensive- in the not-too-distant past. They are, however, now seen as almost de rigueur amongst the progressive elite.
In fact, leftist leaders have come so unglued that I wouldn’t be surprised if they showed up wearing “Pussy Hats” and turned their backs to the president while he was speaking. Serial mooning is not out of the question.
Once a solemn occasion witnessed by an august body, the State of the Union address is now being turned into just another opportunity for politically-correct crackpots drunk on their own power to protest anything with which they disagree. Dignity and decorum are out. Posturing and protest are in.
So, don’t be taken aback if Democrats clap and stomp, leave their cell phones on, belch out “black lives matter” in unison while raising their fists, or put their hands in their collective armpits to make farting noises during key parts of Trump’s report. Don’t be flabbergasted if they attempt to “Occupy the House (of Representatives).”
Hell, I wouldn’t be astonished if they chanted “Hail Satan” throughout the night, in solidarity with their pro-choice base.*
The only thing that would leave me gob-smacked is if those on the left side of the chamber acted with class, and the media characterized the speech accurately.

                *Pro-choice activists famously chanted “Hail Satan” to drown out pro-life activists singing “Amazing Grace” during a rally at the Texas capital in 2013.

Sunday, January 14, 2018

Switzerland Bans Boiling Live Lobsters

                The government of Switzerland has made it illegal to put live lobsters into boiling water when preparing to eat them, according to The Guardian. The tasty crustaceans will now have to be “stunned” before being boiled. The government order, which takes effect on March 1st, reads: “The practice of plunging live lobsters into boiling water, which is common in restaurants, is no longer permitted. Lobsters will now have to be stunned before they are put to death.”
                “Put to death?” Must we now also give them a last meal and cigarette, and blindfold them before dropping them into the pot? When first taking them out of the seine nets, must we read them their Miranda rights?
                The Swiss Federation’s ruling body helpfully explained that the creatures can be stunned via electrically shocking them, and added that live lobsters must now also be transported in their natural habitat and not on ice or in icy water.
   Their natural habitat is icy water.
   According to the Lobster Institute, a research and educational organization, lobsters have a primitive nervous system, akin to an insect, such as a grasshopper: “Neither insects nor lobsters have brains,” the institute claims. “For an organism to perceive pain it must have a complex nervous system. Neurophysiologists tell us that lobsters, like insects, do not process pain.”
 What beings indisputably have complex nervous systems, yet are still being slaughtered?
 Maybe someday soon the pro-choice crowd will call for babies to be “stunned” before being dismembered and having their brains vacuumed out.   

Saturday, January 13, 2018

Hawaiian Topic: Missile Alert

                Hawaiians suffered a collective panic attack early Saturday morning, January 13th, when the state’s Civil Defense erroneously sent out a phone alert warning of a “BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.” Residents received the alert at 8:07 a.m. local time, and a similar message appeared on local television networks.
                The alert was apparently caused by a Civil Defense employee who accidentally pushed the wrong buttons during a staff shift-change, according to Hawaii News Now and online reports. The timing of the error couldn’t have been much worse, given the recent threats from North Korea and Kim Jong-Un, and the fact that Hawaii now appears to fall well within range of the Hermit Kingdom’s ballistic missiles. After receiving the alert, residents understandably started calling 911, asking where they should go. Roughly 12 minutes later, the Aloha State’s Emergency Management Agency tweeted that it was a false alarm, and some local politicians confirmed the mistake, as well. However, it took 37 minutes for Civil Defense to send out another phone alert acknowledging the error.
                Meanwhile, many residents were in a state of panicked chaos, expecting the worst for 37 agonizing minutes. When informed of the miscue, The Paradise of the Pacific’s lawmakers were as angry as its citizens, one slamming the mistake as “inexcusable,” adding, “the whole state was terrified,” according to London’s Daily Mail.
When the false alarm alert finally arrived on citizen’s phones, that message read: “There is no missile threat or danger to the State of Hawaii. Repeat. False Alarm.”


Sh*thole Countries

                “Sh*thole countries?” How could he? “As*hole president!”

                I’ve read stories in major American newspapers aghast that this phrase could have been uttered, and asserting that nations around the globe are still recoiling in horror at the insensitive, racist comments. That’s Bullsh*t. All bullsh*t. Much ado about nothing.
                President Trump did not mean to disparage the people of the nations he derided, and it was certainly not a racist comment. He was simply, again, stating a truth. Many of these nations are dysfunctional. Their societies are dysfunctional. They are dysfunctional nations. Not because of their citizens, but because of their governments, often headed by dictators and/or incompetent thugs. Venezuela is a sh*thole nation now, due to the communist governments it has suffered for so many years. Many of its citizens are good people, and that is the tragedy. Their government has ruined their homeland.
                I guarantee you President Obama used that exact term, or one very similar, in private talks. He just wasn’t tattled on, or if he was, the media would’ve covered for him, not exploded in an orgiastic frenzy of vitriol. In fact, then Vice-President Joe Biden gleefully exclaimed, "This is a big f*cking deal!" into President Obama's ear at the healthcare reform signing ceremony back in 2010. Microphones clearly picked his voice up. The result? The media thought it was cute. Authentic. The phrase was actually put on tee-shirts to be sold. It even made Time magazine's list of its 10 favorite Joe Biden moments! But they aren't Republicans. They are Democrats. And they aren't Trump. I’m not sure LBJ ever went five minutes in conversation without going on an expletive-laden diatribe against some person, people or nation. But he was a Democrat. And he wasn’t Trump. 
                CNN was so offended by the term sh*thole, it used it no less than 36 times…on Thursday, January 11th alone, after the “story” first broke. Don’t mind the young ‘uns in the room! Hypocrites.
                Even Martin Luther King’s niece flatly stated that Trump wasn’t racist. Rather, the problem is we have become too soft, too nice for our own good. Immigration around most of the world has traditionally been merit-based. We simply can’t go on allowing unchecked immigration from nations that disdain us, harbor terrorists, demean our founding principles or eschew our freedoms and values. We see the results of unchecked non-merit-based immigration in Sweden’s rising crime rate, in German cities where women aren’t comfortable going out alone at night, in the streets of Paris, in London’s tube…and elsewhere. We see it too, and the aftermath of progressive policies in general, in American cities such as Baltimore, Chicago, Washington, D.C., and even Dearborn, Michigan.
                In America, the Melting Pot was the key to our success. No other country in the world has been more diverse, and as successful. But, ironically, as recent immigrants have been less likely to wish to assimilate, we’ve come to believe that we shouldn’t want them to, and have no right to make them do so. Diversity around the planet has always been problematic, the most peaceful societies typically quite homogenous. With the West’s increasing diversity of race, ethnicity…and everything else…it has ironically- and tragically- lost diversity of thought. If one believes immigration should be legal, controlled, and merit-based, one is considered by the media, academia, and wealthy progressives snugly ensconced in their estates, to be a cad…a cold, selfish, racist, xenophobe.
                Let’s be honest. Inner-city Baltimore is already a sh*thole. That’s not racist. That’s the truth.

                If Western countries don’t soon wake up, they will eventually become sh*thole nations themselves. They just won’t be able to admit it.