Not The Same Old Lang Syne

It is New Year’s Eve, another year passed, even quicker than the year before. And what a year it was…for good, bad and indifferent. We said good-bye to far too many in the past year, Tom Petty, Roger Ailes, Chuck Berry, and Mary Tyler Moore among them. It was a stormy year here in The States, meteorologically and politically speaking.

The media lost its collective mind to Trump Derangement Syndrome in 2017, at separate times claiming that the president: was deliberately over-feeding foreign fish, was almost impeach-ably rude for taking a sip of water whilst on camera, and, drinks far too many sodas daily. (The latter temporarily pre-empted CNN’s coverage of the New York City terror attack that disrupted rush-hour traffic and injured four people). Interestingly, Trump finishes the year with a 46% approval rating, virtually identical to former President Obama’s approval rating at the end of his first year in office. Yet, the media claims Trump is hated. That’s odd, as I don’t recall them saying anything like that about Obama.

As I write this, nearly all of the continental United States is in the iron grip of a record-breaking, and lengthy, cold spell. Waterfalls have frozen completely. So have fountains. A dog was found frozen solid on a front porch. Incredibly, some parts of the U.S. are currently colder than the surface of Mars. Parts of Mars were at a relatively balmy -10 degrees Fahrenheit recently, while temperatures fell to as low as 35 degrees below zero in the northern U.S. If it gets much colder molecular motion will cease. (But probably not the impassioned cries of leftists denouncing the U.S. for not doing enough to fight global warming).

The past year has seen the people continue in their attempt to reclaim power from their rulers. Brexit and the election of Donald Trump were not outliers, they were precursors to many Europeans realizing that things cannot continue as they are if there is to be a Europe…or many Europeans.

And now, just in the past couple of days, we see Iranians protesting in the street, risking arrest, beating, and death.  Iranians have a history of secular and civil society. They deserve to regain their freedom. The last time they tried to do so, they were tragically ignored and forsaken by then President Obama. President Trump will not ignore or forsake them.

Here’s hoping the United States can eventually shed the cold, and that the Iranian people can shed their dictatorship. May they both emerge into a brightly lit future.

As for all the rest of you, reading this around the world: I hope 2018 brings you good health and good spirits. May your most cherished dreams come true.

Happy New Year! 

"Santa's Husband"

                So much for “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.” Now it’s daddy’s turn.

                “Santa’s Husband,” an illustrated children’s book targeting kids between the ages of 4 and 8, depicts old St. Nick as black, married to a man, and gayer than Boy George at a sausage fest. The “author” of the book, Daniel Kibblesmith, is a writer for the ultra-liberal “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.” Kibblesmith remarked during a CNN interview that Americans pretending “that traditional Christmas is under attack” inspired him to write the book. He added, “We were reading all of the news about the Mall of America hiring a black Santa Claus last year, and me and my now-wife made a joke on Twitter that if we ever had a child they would only know about black Santa Claus, and if they saw a white Santa Claus at the mall we would just explain ‘Well, that’s his husband.’”

                Kibblesmith, who is apparently as dense as Colbert is vile, proved himself wrong by reflexively attacking traditional Christmas, albeit pointlessly, as he himself noted that the nation’s largest mall had already been comfortable hiring a black Santa.

                Descriptions of the book vary, with one reading, “Like any married couple, they have their disagreements. But they always manage to kiss and make up—usually over a plate of milk and cookies.”  Amazon touts the book as allowing readers to “see the Clauses sitting by the fire at their cozy North Pole home, vacationing at the beach” and “celebrating their wedding day, and comforting each other when some loudmouth people on television angrily dispute Santa’s appearance and lifestyle.” (Must’ve been on Fox News).  Those damn Tea Partiers!

                The book also touches on labor disputes with the “restive workshop elves,” health care coverage, and climate change, according to CNN. (I’m sure the North Pole will soon be under water due to rapidly melting ice and glaciers).

                In addition to the Jeff Bezos-led Amazon, the always progressive Target Corporation also sold the book. Liberal critics hailed it as “funny and touching.”

                This led me to the obvious conclusion that every children’s tale, fable, and cartoon ever written or produced by a white male, or portraying any white males in a positive light, must be altered or reimagined immediately…if not sooner.

                “Bitch too white!” exclaimed adjunct Professor Chester E. Doogooder III, of Columbia University, in reference to the classic Snow-White fairy tale. “She’s so pure, she’s actually impure in her overarching whiteness. I have taken the liberty of rewriting the fable, and retitling it, as well. In Jet-Black and the Seven Vertically-Challenged Bisexuals, the protagonist, Jet-Black, ends up in a cabin with seven small beds. She falls asleep until the seven vertically-challenged bisexuals return home and discover her. You’ll just have to read it to see what comes next. I guarantee you won’t be disappointed, if you know what I mean! Later, the Drag-Queen poisons her and she falls into a deep sleep. Eventually, a beautiful lesbian happens upon her, and French-kisses her until she awakens.”

                Expanding on the professor’s vital work, I am rewriting a few classics and cartoons my own self. Check these titles out:

                The Little Mermaid: Transspecied, Transgender, and Loving It!

                Goldilocks and the Three Polyamorous Bears

                Hansel & Gretel: The Transgender Tales

                Peter Pansexual

                Little Red Riding (Look Under) My Hood: A Torrid Tale of Bestial Relations

                Cinderella: Genderqueer, Lend an Ear?

                Pinocchio: He’s Back, He’s Black, And It’s Not Just His Nose That’s Longer!

                The Tooth Fairy: Near, Sheer, And Oh So Queer!

                The Easter Bunny: Ebony And Questioning

                Scooby Doo, What Gender Are You?

                Elmer Fudd: Non-Binary Stud?

                Tales of Tom (demifluid) and Jerry (mulatto, trigender)

                Gilligan’s Island: The Professor Opens A Massage Parlor

                The Flintstones: Rock My World! (Barney & Fred Carry On A Torrid Affair…And So Do Betty & Wilma!!)

                The Jetsons, Lost Episodes: Elroy And Astro Come Out Of The Closet

                As one can plainly see, there is a great deal of vitally important work to be done in cleansing society of the dual stains of whiteness and heteronormativity. We all have a part to play.

                Let’s roll.

                

Merriam-Webster To Eliminate Masculine, Feminine References

January 2, 2018

From News Services-     

Merriam-Webster has announced that it will eliminate all references to “masculine” and “feminine” forms of grammar from its iconic dictionaries effective with the 2019 editions.

                A company spokesperson stated that only neutral words, grammatical forms, examples, and references will be used in its print and online editions going forward, “in the interest of inclusivity and non-marginalization.” The spokesperson said that the Basic Manual of Style at the back of the tomes will also be updated, citing as an example the section on properly addressing religious leaders: “Whereas, for instance, past editions stated the correct way to address the Pope was as ‘His Holiness Pope_________,’ the new editions will amend that to list three acceptable options. ‘Holy Pope_______,’ ‘Ze Pope________,’ or ‘They Pope________.’”

                 The spokesperson, who wished to remain anonymous, also said the dictionary will shed its typical blue or red bindings and covers in favor of a “festive parade of pastels, gay and pleasing to the eye, that will soften up the very words they enwrap.” 

LGGBDTTTIQQAAPP...Whatever

                 The Canadian Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario (ETFO) hosted a LGGBDTTTIQQAAPP inclusiveness training session last June. The stated goal? “To become more familiar with current language, sensitive to current issues, and to share best practices in supporting our LGGBDTTTIQQAAPP peers and students.”( I just came across this story last week and it lends further validity to a question I posed in my December 7^th post: “Will we eventually end up with an acronym as the longest ‘word’ in the English language?”).

                “Listen up, kids! We’re going to be covering some exciting new information today! First of all, can you say ‘LGGBDTTTIQQAAPP?’ Take a deep breath and try it now. Pretty good, but let’s practice it a few more times! Okay, that’s good! Now pay attention because I’m going to go over what each letter stands for! Ready? Okay:

                “L- is for Lesbian (remember ‘Heather Has Two Mommies?’)

                G- is for gay. Not like in ‘Don we now our gay apparel,’ although there is gay apparel, though we won’t delve into that until next week…but like the male version of lesbians, right?)

                G- this G is for Genderqueer. This refers to someone who doesn’t subscribe to conventional gender distinctions and roles, but identifies as both, or neither…or something else. Yay! Isn’t that titillating, kiddies?

                B- is for bisexual. That’s self-explanatory, inclusive, and, frankly, kind of hot…isn’t it kids?

                D- is for demisexual. This describes a person who doesn’t experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone. This type of cis-normativity was relatively common in years past, but has been more recently revealed to be an anachronistic and inane part of the still-prevailing patriarchy.

                T- is for transgender! These are the boys and girls that dress up like the opposite sex and want equal access to all bathrooms and locker rooms. So cool!

                T- is also for transsexual. Transsexuals have had invasive surgery in an attempt to actually become a member of the opposite sex.

                T- is also, also for ‘Two-Spirit.’ These are Native Americans who feel their bodies simultaneously manifest both a masculine and a feminine spirit, or a different balance of masculine and feminine characteristics than are typically recognized.

    I- Is for intersex. These are folks born with various variations of characteristics that don’t fit the typical definitions for male or female bodies.

   Q- is for queer. This is another term for gay. Queer is normal.

                Q- this q is for questioning. We should all be questioning our sexuality on a daily basis!
                A-     is for asexual. Asexual people have no interest in sex. They are freaks.

                A- is also for allies. These are the only good cis-normative human beings. They are openly, intensely supportive and proud of the full LGGBDTTTIQQAAPP agenda.

         P- stands for pansexual. This is the same as bisexual, but sounds cooler.

               P- also stands for polyamorous. Polyamorous peeps like to have more than one partner, whether at the same time, for the long term, or both. They are inclusive, loving, and like to share.

“It is almost certain, students, that this brief list of socio-sexual diversity will keep expanding rapidly in the future as the patriarchal, radical right-wing, reactionary Republican society we’ve been stuck in for nearly two-and-a-half centuries finally evolves into a beautiful garden of acceptance and inclusivity. Expect furries, incest practitioners, the interspecied, necrophiliacs, and more to be welcomed into the LGGBDTTTIQQAAPP community in the not too distant future. That’s the end of the lesson for today, kids. Tomorrow we’ll dive head first into BDSM. Do you know what those letters stand for?”  

According to a flyer handed out at the function, fewer than one percent of ETFO members were open with their identities, even though half of the public “secretly identifies as LGBT to some extent.” Fewer than one percent of ETFO members were open with their identities?! How do they know this if fewer than one percent of ETFO members were open with their identities?!! Apparently the other 99% are hiding something, probably their latent cis-normativity. The assertion that half of the public “secretly identifies as LGBT to some extent” is preposterous in the extreme. Are they including folks who once watched an episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show, or who briefly subscribed to GQ magazine? And, again, if they “secretly” identify, how is this known to ETFO? How can this assertion be trusted?

                The flyer added, “If we want students to succeed, if we want to reduce staff anxiety and stress, we need to create a much more welcoming and accepting environment.” Of course, the opposite is true. Steeping the kiddies in the ins and outs of all possible sexual identities and deviancies before they’ve even reached puberty will confuse, stress, disturb, and likely scare students, creating a less welcoming and safe place for their learning environment. It is, in fact, “proactive” child abuse.

LGGBDTTTIQQAAPP ETFO (!) members themselves simply want to feel more accepted, so these “educators” force their young students to deal with their adult teacher’s and administrator’s sexuality issues.

PATHETIC.

               

Chappaquiddick

                Chappaquiddick, the movie, is scheduled to open in select theaters on April 6^th, 2018. Mary Jo Kopechne’s life closed on July 18^th, 1969, when Massachusetts’ Senator Edward “Ted” Kennedy drove his Oldsmobile off a bridge and into a tidal pond.

                According to the movie’s creators, the film purports to tell the story of what happened that night, and in particular why it took Kennedy more than ten hours to report the accident to the local Edgartown police…or any other emergency or rescue personnel. 

                Therefore, a brief pre-movie refresher on the “Chappaquiddick incident” is in order.

                On the evening of July 18^th, 1969, while most Americans were glued to their television sets watching reports on the progress of the Apollo 11 lunar landing mission, the one that put the first two humans on the moon, Senator Kennedy and his cousin Joe Gargan were hosting a cookout and party at a rented cottage on Chappaquiddick Island, an affluent enclave near Martha’s Vineyard. The party was planned as a way to reunite Kopechne and five other women, all of whom had served on the late Senator Robert F. Kennedy’s (Ted’s older brother) 1968 presidential campaign. A little after 11p.m., Kennedy and Kopechne- the young campaign strategist- left the party together, Kennedy driving, almost certainly intoxicated.

                Kennedy, who was an early front-runner for the 1972 Democratic presidential nomination, claimed they were headed to a ferry slip where they could catch a boat back to their respective lodgings in Edgartown on Martha’s Vineyard. Driving down the main roadway, the Senator, married at the time, took a sharp turn onto the unpaved Dike Road, drove a bit, and then missed the ramp to a narrow wooden bridge, ending up in Poucha Pond. He claimed he just took a wrong turn onto Dike Road, though he and Kopechne had both previously driven down the same road, which led to a secluded ocean beach, lying just beyond the bridge. More incriminating still, Kopechne had left her purse and room key at the party.

                Kennedy escaped the submerged vehicle, but Kopechne did not. The Senator from Massachusetts claims he dove down in an attempt to rescue Kopechne, but failed. He then “stumbled” back to the cottage, according to history.com, where he enlisted the help of Gargan and another friend, and went back to make a second attempt to save Kopechne (though drowning typically occurs in under four minutes). Unsuccessful, the men went to the ferry slip where Kennedy dove into the water and swam back to Edgartown, a mile distant. There, he returned to his room at the Shiretown Inn, changed clothes, and re-emerged from his quarters just before 2:30 a.m. He spotted the innkeeper, Russel Peachey, to whom he remarked that he had been suddenly awakened by a noise next door. He asked Mr. Peachey what time it was and returned to his room. Many speculate he did this to establish an alibi.

                Gargan later claimed in an interview that Kennedy plotted to make Kopechne the driver and sole occupant of the car. As it turned out, the Senator finally reported the accident to Edgartown Police Chief Dominick Arena at 9:45 a.m. on July 19^th, over 10 hours after driving off the bridge with the 28-year-old Kopechne, admitting that he was the driver.

                On July 25^th, Kennedy pleaded guilty to leaving the scene of the accident. He received a two-month suspended sentence, and had his license suspended for a single year.

                He issued a televised statement later that evening in which he termed his extensive delay in reporting the accident “indefensible,” while denying that he had been involved in any improprieties with Kopechne. (Yeah, right. Now tell us the one about the three bears). He asked his constituents to help him decide whether to continue his political career. He being a Democrat, they gave him a pass, and he resumed his Senatorial duties a few days later. It strains credulity to believe he didn’t use his position and considerable power- he was majority whip at the time- to avoid several more serious charges that easily could have resulted from the debacle. Kennedy continued to serve as a U.S. Senator for another 40 years.

                Everyone has their Waterloo, it is said, but Edward “Ted” Kennedy wasn’t going to let the death of some young female keep a good man such as himself down. Even if he caused it. He rose again, shook off any guilt-along with the water, and became the “Liberal Lion” of the Senate. A more accurate moniker would’ve been the “Liberal Liar” of the Senate.

                So, go see the movie everybody, but drive carefully. Will the film give an accurate portrayal of Kennedy’s actions- and inactions- that fateful night?

                I guess we’ll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it.

               

Trump's Triumphs

                                                                    Trump’s Triumphs

                You’d never know it if you only get your news from the mainstream media, but president Trump  racked up a rather impressive list of accomplishments in his first year in office, and finished 2017 with a flourish- and a historic tax cut. Of course, some of you reading the following list of achievements will not approve of all of them, but you’ll have to admit he kept several campaign promises.

                Here’s a taste of what he- and his administration- brought about this past year:

                *Created 1.7 million new jobs, cutting the unemployment rate to 4.1 percent

                *Saw the stock market reach all-time record highs, due mostly to his election and policies

                *Spurred GDP growth of 3 percent or more in multiple quarters, something President Obama never did in his eight-year presidency

                *Drove the passage of a tax reform bill providing $5.5 billion in cuts and repealing the Obamacare mandate. The overwhelming majority of middle-class taxpayers will get a tax cut, while corporate (and small-business) tax rates will be significantly reduced, making American companies more likely to stay home…and much more competitive

                *Presided over a period which saw consumer economic confidence reach a 17-year high

                *Which led to retail sales (excluding automobiles) increasing by 4.9% from November 1^st thru December 24^th, the highest rate since 2011, a boon to the struggling industry

                *Prioritized women-owned businesses for $500 million in SBA loans (Have you seen that emphasized in the mainstream media?)

                *Signed an executive order demanding that two regulations be killed for every new one created. In actuality, so far, 16 rules and regulations have been cut for every one created, saving the taxpayers $8.1 billion

                *Signed an Executive Order cutting the time needed for infrastructure permit approvals

                *Loosened some regulations on the coal industry, dramatically helping mining businesses provide Americans with affordable energy

                *Withdrew from Obama’s Paris Climate Agreement- despite intense pressure not to do so- which would’ve ruined the U.S. economy while accomplishing literally nothing

                *Worked to improve trade deals for the United States

                *Worked to bring companies back to the U.S. Toyota, Mazda, Broadcom, and Foxconn, among others, have all announced plans to open plants in the U.S.

                *Prevailed upon the Department of the Interior to open plans to lease 77 million acres in the Gulf-of-Mexico for oil and gas drilling, which will almost certainly save consumers significant money on their energy bills in the future

                *Announced plans to end chain migration, which allows a single legal immigrant to bring in dozens of family members

                *Is starting to build the border wall with Mexico

                *Put a stop to the Obama-era “catch and release” of illegal immigrants

                *Increased the arrests of illegals inside the U.S.

                *Saw to the removal of over one-third more criminal gang members than in fiscal 2016

                *Is putting pressure on the approximately 300 “sanctuary cities” that openly defy the United States’ Immigration and Custom Enforcement (ICE) Agency while still receiving federal money to cease and desist their illegal obstruction

                *The Department of Homeland Security rounded up 83% more MS-13 members than in 2016, while the Department of Justice (DOJ) announced grants of $98 million to fund 802 new police officers

                *The Attorney General created the National Public Safety Partnership, a cooperative venture with cities to reduce violent crimes

                *Nominated 73 federal judges and won his nomination of Neil Gorsuch to the Supreme Court, achievements the importance of which cannot be overstated for the future of the nation

                *Ordered various new ethical standards including a lobbying ban

                *Ordered an overhaul to modernize the digital government

                *Called for a full audit of the Pentagon and its spending

                *Declared a Nationwide Public Health Emergency on opioids

                *Reinstated and expanded the “Mexico City policy,” blocking some $9 billion in foreign aid that would otherwise have been used to pay for abortions

                *Worked with Congress on a bill overturning an Obama regulation that prevented states from defunding abortion providers

                *Signed the Veterans Appeals Improvement and Modernization Act and the Veterans Educational Assistance Act, to help support American vets. Also signed the VA Choice and Quality Act of 2017 authorizing over $2 billion in new spending for the Veterans Choice program

                *Created a VA hotline while also announcing multiple initiatives to expand access to healthcare for veterans utilizing telehealth technology

                *Ordered the rebuilding of the military and an increase in defense spending

                *Empowered the armed forces to “seize the initiative and win,” leading to ISIS losing virtually all of its previously held territory

                *Directed the revival of the National Space Council in order to develop space war strategies and capabilities

                *Reorganized and strengthened U.S Cyber Command

                *Ordered cruise-missile strikes against a Syrian airbase used in a chemical weapons attack, and warned of further attacks if chemical weapons were used again. They weren’t

                *Approved a new strategy aimed at reducing Iran’s influence in the region

                *Ordered new sanctions on the Communist dictatorship in Venezuela

                *Traveled to the Middle East, Europe, and Asia in an attempt to build new and/or stronger relationships with world leaders

                *Secured the release of Americans being held abroad

                *Strongly encouraged other NATO nations and allies to help pay for and see to their own protection, at the same time reassuring them of America’s commitment

                *Withdrew from the U.N. Global Compact on Migration

                *Informed the U.N. that it cannot continue to consistently vote against U.S. interests and still expect the United States to act as its congenial host and personal ATM machine

                *After the U.N. promptly singled the U.S. out for condemnation yet again, announced a $285 million cut in its budget for fiscal year 2018-2019

                *Instituted a travel ban on nations that lack border security and anti-terrorism measures

                *Made good on his campaign promise to recognize Jerusalem as the capital of Israel. The same promise his immediate predecessors were too frightened to implement

                *Released his National Security Strategy report, a clear-eyed account naming Russia and China as rivals that must be challenged, not necessarily enemies that must be defeated. The communication identifies Iran and North Korea, on the other hand, as rogue states that must be dealt with, while also identifying transnational threats such as jihadists and cyber-warriors. This objective- and sorely needed- report acknowledges that the world is becoming an increasingly dangerous place, an assertion at odds with former President Obama’s stated belief that the world is moving inexorably toward stabilization. And, the NSS report is just the first of a number of reports the Trump administration is expected to roll out over the next few months. Others will reportedly address counter-terrorism, biodefense, nuclear posture, and missile defense. This is what happens when serious adults are in charge

                Americans are still wildly conflicted over their president and his performance, largely because of two factors: 1) true leftists will never have anything but disgust and hatred for those with differing opinions, and 2) the mainstream media, as evidenced by The New York Times, CNN and MSNBC, simply refuse to objectively report the news in general and Trump’s accomplishments in particular.

                That being said, American’s confidence in the country’s economy is growing daily, as it is impossible to hide the stock-market gains and the dramatic increase in the number of jobs available. Trump is endeavoring to restore confidence in- and respect for- America overseas, as well.

                The “Trump Doctrine” is taking shape. As the president himself put it recently: “America is in the game and America is going to win.”

                Economically and militarily, the world has, for some time now, appeared on the way to becoming China’s shop. 

                It is about damn time we put a bull in it.

               

               

The 2018 Winter Olympic Games- Live From PyeongChang!

PyeongChang, South Korea

Friday, February 9, 2018

Mike Tirico: “Welcome to Hoenggye-ri, South Korea, just outside of PyeongChang, and the 23^rd Winter Olympiad! The start of the Opening Ceremonies is just a few minutes away, but first we want to bring you up to speed on some of the most-anticipated events of these XXIII Olympic Winter Games. What a festive extravaganza it should be here, just over 50 miles from the Demilitarized Zone and the North Korean border!

                “Of course, everyone is talking about the two North Korean skaters who qualified, and also the relatively few Russian athletes who’ve avoided performance-enhancing drugs and who will be allowed to participate as individual athletes under the Olympic Flag.

                “Also, the biathlon and skeleton competitions should be heated this year, and there is immense speculation about who may win the bomb-dropping and rocket-launching events. Additionally, the Chinese may have serious competition in the grenade-toss this go ‘round, as well, from both the hometown South Koreans and the newly energized American squad.

   “Unfortunately, we’d be remiss if we didn’t mention that things went downhill quickly at the Jeongseon and Yongpyong Alpine Centers yesterday, when part of both venues literally caved in- due, it is thought- to another North Korean underground nuclear detonation at a site less than 100-miles from here.

                “On a lighter note, these are the very first Winter Games with a water venue. Various navies from the Pacific Rim countries as well as the United States are expected to entertain observers with a new demonstration sport, called ‘naval chicken,’ to take place on the Pacific Ocean. The North Koreans had petitioned the IOC to participate in a separate new demonstration sport they proposed, ‘airport tag,’ but the Hermit Kingdom’s request was turned down by the Olympic governing body. However, the IOC did okay yet another new demonstration sport, ‘hide-and-heat-seeking-missile.’ 

                “Folks, with the ubiquitousness of social media, a new feature has been added to this, the Games of the 23^rd Winter Olympiad: an open Twitter match. The 2018 Winter Olympic Game’s Twitter Open will be a battle waged across the Twitterverse for world tweeting supremacy. The Americans, led by President Donald J. Trump himself, are expected to reach the finals to tweet it out for gold against the similarly explosive North Korean squad, anchored by that Dear Leader, Kim Jong-Un. While these two nations remain heavy favorites going into the competition, anything can happen in a contest like this.

                “Well folks, the Opening Ceremonies will be starting in just 2 minutes. Stick around if you can, it should be a blast. But first, a word from our sponsors.”

                                                          [Fade]

Christmases Past And Present

            Sleigh bells ringing. Carolers. Chestnuts roasting on the open fire. Currier and Ives prints. Tintype memories of Yuletides of yore.

“What a thoughtful gift.”

“It’s the thought that counts.”

Time was when people used to hunt for just the right gift for that certain someone, whether it was a baseball glove, a puppy, a diamond bracelet, or just the right pair of slippers. Or perhaps even something they made by hand. Many stores back in the day weren’t open on Sunday, as that was a day given over to family time, reflection, or giving thanks.

Now the stores are open on Thanksgiving. And Sunday. And some even on Christmas and Easter. People increasingly buy their own gifts for others to give them, so they don’t run the risk of “having” to return them. Or they may just give cash. After all, it’s always the right color, and the right size (unless the recipient is truly greedy). Many families have given up on buying gifts for specific people altogether, instead instituting “The Dice Game” or some such to determine who gets what. Nothing says Christmas like tossing dice and stealing away gifts you know other people covet. Gambling for gift cards, baby! To multi-national corporations! Everybody now: “All is calm, all is bright…”

Countless newspaper and magazine articles talk about “the stress of the holiday season.” Many, if not most, retailers instruct their employees not to wish their customers “Merry Christmas” anymore.  Some polls have found that a majority of respondents claim they wouldn’t buy any gifts at all if they didn’t “feel like they had to.” 

In days of yore, many younger working folks traveled back home for Christmas to spend three or four days on the farm or at the family homestead, basking in the warmth of a fireplace, good conversation, and a home-cooked meal. Traditions were honored, games were played, and stories were told. Folks gave…of that most precious gift of all: their time and undivided attention…face-to-face.

Today, it seems as if we’ve gone to a “Pay-per-View” version of Christmas. There are a nearly infinite number of television channels for our entertainment, anyone can find anything to fit his or her- or zirs- viewing “needs.” We have more “conveniences” than ever before, more “timesavers,” and literally more computing power in the phone in our hands than was used to put Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin on the moon. Everyone has to have the newest i-Phone. We have robotics and artificial intelligence.

And we are nearly all saying, “I don’t have time to do this,” “that,” or “fill-in-the-blank.”

Almost none of us would panic if we skipped celebrating Christmas entirely. Almost all of us panic when we can’t find our smart-phone.

We have journeyed too far down a road that ought not have been traveled.

It is time to find our way home again.

Oh, holy night
            The stars are brightly shining
            It is the night of the dear Savior's birth

           Long lay the world in sin and error pining
           Till he appeared and the soul felt its worth
           A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices
           For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn

           Fall on your knees, oh, hear the angel voices
           Oh, night divine, oh, night, when Christ was born
           Oh, night divine, oh, night divine

           Merry Christmas!

Walmart Sold A "Marijuana Christmas Tree"

                For the times, they are a-changin,’ example #482: Walmart was selling a “Weed Marijuana Leaf Christmas Tree” this season, according to The Kansas City Star. I don’t know if Bob Dylan is proud, but you can bet Willie Nelson is. The artificial plant, which has since been dropped from the company’s inventory, would’ve cost you $250, but, dude, the shipping was, like, absolutely free! (Ornaments weren’t included).

                According to The Star, the Walmart website hawking these “trees” stated: “You’ll be able to relax and giggle at the marijuana leaves and decorate it as you please. This alternative Christmas tree is perfect for personal top shelf life at home or as a medical dispensary decoration. Green Wishes and Happy Holidhaze!” Apparently, Walmart also sells marijuana leaf cookie cutters in its attempt to cash in on the growing Cannabis Movement. Give them some of your dough to buy a mold to make your (cookie) dough look like cannabis, man! How sweet is that?

While traditional Christmases are being weeded out, pot is becoming mainstream. It’s just a matter of time before actual large pot plants are used as Christmas trees. Eventually they’ll come pre-lit, just like their purchasers.

For the times, they are a-changin.’. Sing along with me now:

O cannabis tree,
O cannabis tree
Your leaves are, like, so unchanging
O cannabis tree,
O cannabis tree
Your leaves are, like, so unchanging

Not only green when
Summer’s here
But also when it’s cold and drear
O cannabis tree,
O cannabis tree
Your leaves are, like, so unchanging

O cannabis tree,
O cannabis tree
Much pleasure you do give me (tee-hee!)
O cannabis tree,
O cannabis tree
Much pleasure you do give me (tee-hee!)

How often has the cannabis tree
Given me the greatest glee (tee-hee!)
O cannabis tree,
O cannabis tree
Much pleasure you do give me (tee-hee!)

From top to bottom
My buzz is right
I sure could use more snacks tonight!
O cannabis tree,
O cannabis tree
Your buds mellow me nightly

O cannabis tree,
O cannabis tree
Your buds mellow me nightly…dude

University Deems Christmas Trees, Wrapped Gifts "Not Appropriate" For Holiday Season

                The University of Minnesota recently held an event dedicated to discussing how to make the “holiday season” on campus more inclusive. Those attending the “Dean’s Dialogues” meeting, which was hosted by the College of Food, Agriculture and Natural Resource Sciences, were provided a memo- titled “Religious Diversity and Holidays”- listing more than a dozen items that should not be used in holiday-themed displays on campus due to their “religious iconography.”*

                The items, which were described as “not appropriate,” include nativity scenes, the Star of Bethlehem, dreidels, angels, Christmas trees, doves, depictions of Santa Claus, bells, bows, and wrapped gifts. Think about this for a moment: we have reached a point in the West where our elite educators deem nativity scenes, the Star of Bethlehem, angels, and Christmas trees inappropriate for display during the Christmas season.

Obviously, then, they deem them inappropriate at all times. Yet some universities are providing prayer time, space (and rugs?) for Muslim students. That is not diversity, it is perversity.

The suggested exclusion of Santa Claus, bells, bows, doves, and wrapped gifts from holiday displays is simply mind-boggling. Aren’t doves symbols of peace? And what is wrong with wrapped gifts? Should we not wrap birthday presents, either? Wedding gifts?

Incredibly, the directive also recommended that decorations and displays not be themed around the colors red and green or blue and white. Red and green have been co-opted by Christians, apparently. (Though I seem to remember that communists have an affinity for red, and green is critical to the Muslim world and was the color of the flag of the last of the four Arab caliphates). And blue and white are just too…Jewish…and smack of unbridled Zionism.

So, no Santa, bells, bows, or gifts this holiday season? No colors, either? Apparently, the Deans want the campus to sport the same festive appearance that characterized East Germany and the gulags of the Soviet Union.

This does make some sense, though. The prevailing political ideology on college campuses is that of Marx and Lenin.

                  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

*Definition: the visual images, symbols, or modes of representation collectively associated with a person, cult, or movement. (Like depictions of Che Guevara, Antifa or Black Lives Matter? They’ve all been banned from campuses, too, I’m sure).

Our Appetite For Destruction

                If suddenly “outraged”  leftists want to mimic ISIS and tear down cultural monuments and iconography, they should at least properly channel their vitriol into properly targeting these artifacts. If we’re going to take the mother of all erasers to American history, it should be done fairly and completely. If Robert E. Lee’s likenesses are to be relegated to some third-rate museum when not outright destroyed in ecstatic, orgiastic frenzies, then, certainly, the bust of Margaret Sanger should be promptly banished from the Smithsonian. If we are worried about the rise of neo-Nazis, display of this proud eugenicist on American soil should be permanently verboten.

                In fact, if this was the standard, the entire Democratic Party should be banned from the fruited plain, as it is inextricably linked with slavery and the oppression of black people. For well over a century, it was one giant ball and chain on the collective ankles of African-Americans. Democrats voted against the 14^th and 15^th Amendments, granting blacks citizenship and the right to vote.

                And any depiction of the Democratic Party’s donkey symbol should be summarily eviscerated.

                If we have license to topple or ban any symbol or visible representation that we personally detest and find offensive, anarchists will revel in the destruction and chaos. I think the Wilson, Lyndon Johnson, Carter, and Clinton libraries should be razed. Any photo containing the image of Nancy Pelosi, Maxine Waters, Al Sharpton, Harry Reid, Bill de Blasio, etc., etc., must be shredded or burned.

                Imagine how many streets, schools, airports, and cities will have to be renamed if we continue on our present rapid pace of rabid revisionism. Who gets to decide what is too offensive to be allowed to exist and what isn’t? Or can we all just go out and trash whatever the hell we want to, thereby toppling the rule of law, as well?

                I am inclined to believe that what’s currently transpiring is, in part, a loosely orchestrated campaign. As Fox News’ Jesse Waters stated recently: “Maybe the left wants to tear down these statues so the country forgets that the Democratic Party enslaved black people.” Many idiots, college students among them, simply want to appear “cool,” tolerant, and enlightened. And anarchists, obviously, never can satisfy their appetite for destruction.

               George Washington once said, “If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter.” So, all you sheeple, go ahead and say “baaa, baaa,” when your masters demand it. Then be quiet and go where they tell you to. Who knows, maybe they’ll come for you last. I won’t cotton to them.

  I guess, in the context of today’s world, I’m a black sheep.

  “Every record has been destroyed or falsified, every book has been rewritten, every picture has been repainted, every statue and street and building has been renamed, every date has been altered. And that process is continuing day by day and minute by minute. History has stopped. Nothing exists except an endless present in which the Party is always right.” Does any part of this passage ring true today? Does it sound familiar? It is from George Orwell’s novel, Nineteen Eighty-Four.

 Orwell, again: “Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.”

 Western moderates and conservatives have ceded control of the past…because, remarkably, they have (voluntarily) ceded control of the present. Therefore they- and their countries-  have no future.

 In an astoundingly misguided and pathos-laden effort to appear welcoming and tolerant, Western Europe, the United States, Canada and Australia have essentially signed off on their own demise. Mark Steyn noted in his typically brilliant post today (SteynOnline), regarding the “non-terror” attack in Melbourne in which a citizen of Afghan descent injured 19 people: “That's the scene in Melbourne. At street level, the area is cordoned off. Thousands of law-abiding citizens are disrupted in their daily business by an Australian citizen ‘of Afghan descent and mentally ill.’ At the far corner, that's St Paul's Cathedral. Can you see the banner they're displaying three days before Christmas? Anything about Jesus? Christianity? No. Instead:

“‘Welcome Refugees.’”

He added, “In that post-Christian void - the shell of a church with faith in everything but itself - a very merry Muslim Christmas makes a perverted kind of sense,” before launching into an inspired remake of A Holly, Jolly Christmas. Steyn has rightly called the demographic transformation of the western world “the biggest story of our time,” one that will determine all the others.

It is logically impossible to believe, at the present time, that this will end well for the formerly competent- and confidant- West. 

               

Trump Trolls On...?

                                                 Trump Trolls (On…)?

The Trump administration is apparently prohibiting the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention from using seven words or phrases in official budget documents going forward, the Washington Post reported recently. According to the Post, CDC analysts were given the list of prohibited terms at a recent meeting with senior agency officials in Atlanta.

The list reportedly includes the following words or phrases: “transgender,” “fetus,” “diversity,” “entitlement,” “vulnerable,” “evidence-based,” and “science-based.” News of this edict predictably sent liberals into a sanctimonious snit. The usual leftist suspects described the action as “authoritarian,” “fascist,” “Orwellian,” and “scary.”

I call it “karma.”

It is the totalitarians on the left that are truly Orwellian, and they are taking hypocrisy to a new level. The same people who can’t say “Islamic terrorism,” and believe that free speech doesn’t protect speech that they disagree with, which they label “hate speech,” are gob-smacked that someone could attempt to discredit or ban a word. Progressives are a remarkably pushy lot. They demand that store employees not wish customers “Merry Christmas,” but at the same time demand that bakery shop owners make wedding cakes for gay couples regardless of their personal religious beliefs. They champion all manner of sexual relations outside of marriage, yet insist that others pay for their birth control or abortions. They call terminating innocent life for their convenience being “pro-choice,” but don’t believe others should have the choice to protect and defend themselves and their loved ones with a firearm. (Baby? No! Fetus!). They believe in taking union member’s money and using it to help elect certain candidates, regardless of the individual union member’s views or wishes. Conservatives aren’t welcome on college campuses and can’t display Christian religious symbols…or even images of Santa Clause now, in many cases, even on their own doors. In many places, they have forced transgender bathrooms and locker rooms on the 99% of the population that isn’t transgender.

But back to words again. In Lefty Land, one can’t even state the obvious…and righteous. Simply saying, “All lives matter” will somehow get one branded a racist, though to aver anything but that would, by definition, illustrate that one is bigoted, and biased against some group or groups.  There is a long list of words progressives say cannot be uttered: n****r is one that is obviously vile and offensive, but there are many others on that list that are not. Illegal aliens? No! Undocumented immigrants. “Spokesman?” Nope, spokesperson. “Manhole cover?” Guess again. Utility hole cover. “Janitor?” Maintenance Engineer. A judge in North Carolina recently ruled that it was unconstitutional for that state to allow license plates stating “Choose Life” on them.

In actuality, the edict against these words is related to “budget and supporting materials” that will be given to Congress and the CDC’s partners, according to the Washington Post. (The president is expected to release his budget for 2019 this coming February). In fact, the stated prohibition is apparently a budget strategy to help get funding approved for some programs to which Republicans might otherwise object, thereby helping liberals in their cause(s).

The Office of Management and Budget (OMB) has jurisdiction over all budget proposals, including the language used therein, and had not as yet responded to a request for comment from the Post as of this writing.

The stock market is at an all-time high, the economy is humming along, ISIS is in tatters…and President Trump can’t get any credit from the press. So, he trolls them- and they bite like bass. They just cannot help themselves. Trump knows this, and, even with the ad nauseum investigations of his administration going on, the North Korean nuclear threat, etc., etc., etc., he trolls the press… for sport! I love that! It’s like the 98-pound weakling on the beach fighting back after getting sand kicked in his face by a would-be Adonis. In doing so, he is saying he really doesn’t care what the Fourth Estate- or possibly anyone else- thinks of him, as long as he is doing what he thinks is right. That is a leader.  The only kind of leader who could potentially extricate us from the mess we are in- by draining the fetid swamp.

So, go ahead and accuse the Trump administration of being anti-free-speech, Orwellian, authoritarian, fascist, and Intolerant. I recall listening to the comedian George Carlin’s “Seven Words You Can’t Say on Television” bit as a youth back in the early 1970s. It wasn’t too long after that that those words could- and were, ubiquitously- uttered on cable television. Carlin’s comedy album came out in 1972...during the Nixon administration. Cable television- and its adult/mature content proliferated in the 1980s...during Ronald Reagan's reign. Progressives are always tut-tutting about the intolerance and close-mindedness of Republicans in general and conservatives in particular, when, truth-be-told, the reverse holds true.

As a bit of ironic theater, as an illustration of absurdity by being absurd, or simply as a colossal joke, I’d be a fan of this action/pronouncement. I am not fond of any of these words as they are commonly used by progressives. That said, however, if this were to be a serious directive aimed at all governmental bodies, it is ill-advised at best, and needlessly provides ammo to enemies of the administration.

All Words Matter. 

Kim Jong Un Controls The Weather?

                According to the USA Today, North Korea’s Rodong Sinmun, the official state newspaper (akin to our New York Times when a Democrat occupies the White House), reported that Kim Jong Un has the power…to control the weather. The mouthpiece of the Hermit Kingdom said that when the Dear Leader “ascended” to the top of Mount Paektu, an active volcano, a raging blizzard stopped and “fine weather unprecedented commenced.”

                The Korean Central News Agency (KCNA), also state-controlled, praised that report and referred to Kim Jong Un as their “peerlessly illustrious commander” who “controls the nature.” This is but one of a long line of claims regarding Kim’s ruling family.

                North Korean state media has previously asserted that Kim Jong Il, Un’s father, was born atop Mount Paektu. They also claimed that, at the precise moment of his birth, a new star lit up the sky and winter abruptly morphed into spring…as a double rainbow appeared. And that, when he died, a glowing message appeared on the mountain’s rocks. They also averred that the first time he played golf he made 11 holes-in-one. But even that pales in comparison to their assertion that Jong Il never needed to use the restroom because his body was so well-calibrated he didn’t need to relieve himself.

                And some say communism is a delusion!

                The Hermit Kingdom’s stalwart scriveners have also stated that Kim Jong Il began walking at three weeks of age, and speaking at eight weeks. (Yes, quite. And at 10 weeks he could fly, and by 12 weeks he was teaching pigs to fly).

                The so-called journalists in the North’s Deep State even claim Kim Jong Il invented the hamburger. (This must’ve even been before Al Gore invented the internet)!

                As someone once said, “What’ll they think of next?”

                It is fun to mock these preposterous claims, but, in fairness, America’s own Deep State newspapers, the aforementioned New York Times and the equally unctuous (as regards progressives) Washington Post, are not exactly bastions of objectivity and have, in the Trumpian Era, lost what little credibility they may have had.

                The difference is that the North Korean spokes-papers absurdly laud their current leader and his family, whereas the American ones incessantly and irrationally attack them.

                

Harassment Intolerable! BDSM Delightful And Sexy!

If a guy compliments a gal on her dress or accidentally brushes past her at a crowded party he’s now likely to be brought up on harassment charges. Colleges are some of the most aggressive accusers- and prosecutors- of alleged harassment, often considering the alleged harasser guilty until proven innocent. And proving the alleged harasser innocent is nearly impossible since most of said schools are refusing to allow anything resembling due process.

Yet, many of these same universities offer classes on exploring BDSM (bondage, discipline and sado-masochism). They’re teaching the kiddies about the joys of dominating, spanking, whipping, and anally-penetrating your partner, typically female. Oh, and asphyxiating them while getting them off, as well. And, many of these young women, and plenty of older ones as well, are themselves intoxicated by the recent onslaught of BDSM books that Fifty Shades of Grey begat.  

Am I the only one that finds this spectacularly ironic?

Dare I say this might be a cause of some confusion among the sexes? Particularly men?

The educated, progressive, feminist reply to my query is typically: “What is wrong with BDSM? It’s just another form of sexual expression. The better question is ‘what is wrong with you?’ Are you an intolerant square? We should all be allowed to let our freak flag fly!”

I quite agree. But, a tip for guys: Just don’t refer to her as “babe” or “honey” as you place clothespins on her nipples. That would show a lack of respect.

To The Moon...Again

                Man is going back to the moon. Not for silly rock samples, or to hit a golf ball or plant a flag. And not because someone forgot something on an earlier visit.

                Japanese companies are keen on developing a lunar economy and are consequently backing a local startup’s mission to land on the moon by 2020. To help them with this 2020 vision, Tokyo-based Ispace, Inc. claims it has already raised the equivalent of $90 million from some of Japan’s biggest businesses, including Japan Airlines and Tokyo Broadcasting System Holdings, Inc. Government-backed Innovation Network Corp. of Japan and the Development Bank of Japan have also invested in the endeavor. The plan is to send a spacecraft into lunar orbit in 2019 and then land one about a year later.

The trend in space development is for private companies to play an ever-larger role, as evidenced by Elon Musk’s Space Exploration Technologies Corporation and the asteroid mining firm Planetary Resources, Inc. Ispace admits that a thriving lunar economy is decades away, but says it is realistic to believe there could be 1,000 people living on the moon by 2040, with some 10,000 people visiting yearly. This would guarantee at least two or three viable Starbucks locations.

Ispace says the initial business opportunity is in marketing, and, as such, it will be placing corporate logos on its spacecraft and rovers. It also plans to deliver images to the moon to be used in advertising. As Takeshi Hakamada, chief executive officer of Ispace, stated at a press event in Tokyo recently: “Human beings aren’t heading to the stars to become poor. That’s why it’s crucial to create an economy in outer space.”

Ispace says that a successful landing would allow the company to offer what it calls a “projection mapping service.” It would erect billboards on the moon’s surface that would allow corporations to show off their logos with Earth in the background, a possibility that Ispace officials believe will send many businesses over the moon. Or at least to it.

President Trump also recently made it clear that he wants the U.S. to go back to the moon in the near future, largely to build a foundation to someday land Americans on Mars.

I can foresee a time when weekly shuttles take people to the moon to have their pictures taken with the billboard, Earth in the background. A group of people would stand at the foot of the billboard, for example, looking up at the Kraft Foods ad as a lunar guide instructs them to “Say cheese,” our home planet as a backdrop.

Some people promise others the moon. Some people reach for it.

If these companies can pull this off, they’ll have hung the moon.

Blue Dogs Nearing Extinction

            Seeing one in its natural habitat is an amazing experience. Almost life-changing, really. It’s nearly overwhelming when you realize countless numbers of their kind once roamed freely around the American countryside in the tin-type days of yesteryear.

And now only a literal handful remain.

Dan Lipinski is one of them. A conservative Democrat. In the halls of Congress.

Congressman Daniel William Lipinski has been the U.S. Representative for Illinois’s third congressional district since 2005. Sadly, his days, too, are likely numbered. Powerful forces are lined up against him. Outside spending groups are targeting him. National political figures have him in their cross-hairs. Many have formally endorsed his opponent.

Time was when relatively conservative Democrats thrived. They even had a name for those in their group: The Blue Dog Coalition, or Blue Dogs. Now you are more likely to see an actual blue dog than a “conservative Democrat,” a term that has become an oxymoron of “jumbo shrimp” proportions. This phrase is now akin to saying, “awfully good,” “clearly misunderstood,” or “Republican fortitude.”

Representative Lipinski is under siege from the left, battling for his political life against hordes of relentless progressives who have teamed up to replace him with a candidate far more in line with the current radical liberal orthodoxy, which would itself be an oxymoron in a saner time.

The collapse of the Blue Dog Democrats is akin to the extinction of the passenger pigeon. There were an estimated three billion passenger pigeons in the early 1800s. By 1900, none survived in the wild. On September 1^st, 1914, the very last one, Martha, was found dead on the floor of her cage in the Cincinnati Zoo. The fortunes of species- and nations- can change very quickly.

I hope Congressman Lipinski isn’t put into a (political) cage. After all, that didn’t work out well for Martha. But perhaps we could put him, Joe Manchin, and the three or four other “conservative” Democrats alive into a kind of National Political Park before they, too, are extinct.

Democrats such as Harry Truman and JFK would be considered deeply conservative today, in a party that has replaced them with the likes of Bernie Sanders and Maxine Waters.

Someday soon, all that will be left of conservative Democrats will be statues, reminders of a time when freedom of thought and expression were still respected in America.

Unless, of course, "progressives" have the statues removed.

Communism Versus Capitalism: The Koreas

                Given the facts that 73% of millennials voted for socialism a little over a year ago, and that the mainstream media, academia and Hollywood are all viscerally aroused by that ideology, a simple call to truth is necessitated. Socialism is simply Communism Lite. It is essentially the same disease. Collectivism doesn’t work. Ever. Human nature precludes this.

                A brief primer: no Communist nation in human history has ever been economically- or socially- successful. Period. And this may be an understatement when one considers the fact that Communism has exterminated roughly 100 million people.

                Yet, the heinously moronic still wear Che Guevara tee-shirts and speak well of Castro’s Cuba.

                Those that can’t be troubled with learning history or understanding a supply and demand curve need only look to North and South Korea for a real-time example of the difference between Communism/Collectivism and free market Capitalism.

                The average North Korean has lost nearly 20 pounds in recent years. The Hermit Kingdom reeks of darkness, madness, and want. Its impoverished citizens imbibe or ingest nearly any substance available to alter their reality, even as Kim Jong-Un has banned drinking (alcohol), dancing and singing. A recent defector from the North, who was shot multiple times by his own country’s troops while attempting to escape to the South, was found to have “shocking” and “enormous” quantities of parasites in his body. Such is the state of health and hygiene in a country whose leader cares only about making a nuclear weapon that can hit non-tyrannical Western nations.

                Koreans were, of course, originally one people. Contrast the Commie controlled North of starvation, parasites and silence with the free market Capitalist South of wealth, night clubs, and dancing. South Koreans live, on the average, over a decade longer than their brethren from the north. North Korea’s gross domestic product per capita is around $1,800, while South Korea’s is $32,400, yet North Korea’s military expenditure as a percent of GNP is almost ten times higher than South Korea’s.

                It is an obscenity of the highest order that so many in the West are still enamored of collectivism and big government.

                As the rest of us continue to let the leftist spin doctors in positions of power and influence push us gradually down the path towards Socialism, too late we may notice our privacy being lost, our voices being stilled, our freedom being usurped. And our dignity being destroyed.

                Ironically, we may begin to “see the light” as we approach the Heart of Darkness.

    But by then it just might be too late to keep it from being extinguished…forever.

               

Gun Shy

             Some “community leaders” in Buffalo, New York have launched a toy gun exchange program for kids. You read that correctly. WIVB-TV recently reported that the exchange, which is to be an annual event, was to occur Friday, December 8^th starting at 5 p.m. at the Delavan-Grider Community Center. Leonard Lane, president of Buffalo’s F.A.T.H.E.R.S. organization, told the station that the toy guns would be exchanged for other toys or gifts. He noted that the exchange was conceived to reduce violence by deterring children from playing with toy guns at a young age, saying: “What we don’t want to do is make a child feel comfortable with a toy gun.”

 Lane believes that toy guns in the possession of children present a serious concern for the future of the children as well as that of the community: “Whatever you put in a child’s hands that’s what he feels comfortable with, and you put a toy gun in his hands at an early age and when he gets older he’s going to want the real thing.” (Why only “he” and “his?” Kind of sexist, isn’t it?). Incredibly, Lane and other members of the F.A.T.H.E.R.S. group believe that coercing kids into turning in their toy guns will lead to a general reduction in gun violence within the community. Perhaps, if you consider getting squirted on a hot July afternoon “gun violence.”

To put it kindly, the reasoning behind this ploy is suspect. “Whatever you put in a child’s hands that’s what he feels comfortable with?” I guess he’s never tried that with broccoli or cauliflower. Or a bar of soap.

Actually, the best thing we can do for safety’s sake is to use these toy “guns” as a training tool to learn about proper handling, and respect for a gun…and others. From the Pilgrims to the Founders to the Greatest Generation, playing with toy guns was a natural part of childhood. Even necessary. Moreover, older kids were allowed to use real firearms for target practice or to hunt for food, as well. And for personal protection against beasts, wild and otherwise. This familiarity with firearms was a significant factor in the colonist’s shocking defeat of the British in the War for Independence and continued to give the United States an edge in gun battles in various conflicts thereafter.

The real reasons for “gun” violence are the same as they are for other violence and abhorrent behavior: the dissolution of the family, abuse of drugs and alcohol, rapidly diminishing standards of conduct, the prohibition on posting or learning about The Ten Commandments, the open mocking of Christianity, the dismissal of American exceptionalism, revisionist history, the entitlement mentality, and the general collapse of the culture, as evidenced in television shows and movies and shockingly violent and twisted rap music lyrics.

We’ll have no more frontiersmen- or women. No more aspiring Daniel Boones.

So, kids, turn in your cap guns, squirt guns, soft-dart guns, and candy-filled guns, before the government starts coming for them without offering anything in return. Maybe you’ll get a Rosie O’Donnell action figure or an Eminem c.d. in return.