Tuesday, April 30, 2019

Oprah Magazine Says Garlic-Free Vaginas Are Best

                O, that Oprah Magazine! For those of you who don’t subscribe, this month’s issue has an article warning women not to put garlic in their vaginas. The article starts out: “There's a nasty rumor that's been around for years that women in need of a yeast infection cure should look no further than the produce aisle. The myth states that the simple act of inserting a garlic clove into your treasured female bits will help to remedy the entirely unpleasant sensation that anyone in possession of a vagina has at some point experienced.”
                It then introduces readers to “Dr. Jen Gunter, OBGYN, and author of The Vagina Bible,” who informs us that this is “fake vajayjay news.” Stunningly, Dr. Gunter says that spicing up one’s vajayjay is not only ineffective, but potentially harmful. She says that, whereas garlic does contain a compound with anti-fungal properties as tested in a petri dish in a lab, this doesn’t mean it will work wonders in a woman’s hoo-ha. Especially if it’s not properly crushed to release those compounds. At least twice a month, she says, she sees patients who have attempted to “self medicate” by stuffing whole cloves of the ancient spice into their female cavities. (Spicing things up is one thing, but this is ridiculous).
                Dr. Gunter says she’s tired of digging “little pieces of garlic out of vaginas at work.”

    Aren’t we all?  

    And, in a bonus tip, she recommends you also “refrain from putting yogurt—another common do-it-yourself treatment—in your fanny.” I was unaware that this was a thing, but, apparently, it is supposed to stop the itching as if it were a dairy version of “Preparation H.” I’m guessing Greek yogurt might be best, if you know what I mean. But, Dr. J says don’t do it.
   As most readers of this blog know, I periodically give out free advice of my own. It is a value-added feature of this free site. I have been moved to do just that now. Here goes.
   Ladies, these are some other things that should not go into your vaginas: wasabi mayonnaise, jalapenos, tabasco sauce, scrambled eggs (unless you work at Planned Parenthood), prickly plants such as cacti, glassware, and garden tools. And this is just a partial list.
  Here, too, are some things that should not go into anyone’s fanny: prickly plants such as cacti, glassware, garden tools, hockey pucks, rodents, wasabi mayonnaise, jalapenos, tabasco sauce, scrambled eggs, pheasant-under-glass, whole T-Bone steaks, and unwashed poultry products. And, please take this bonus tip from me: in general, anything that you would normally eat should only come out of your fanny, not be crammed into it.
  You’re welcome.

Monday, April 29, 2019

Universe Expanding Faster Than It Should

                Paraphrasing Carl Sagan, “there are billions and billions of people out there.” But not a one of them can explain why the universe isn’t acting like it should. Most of us know the universe is getting bigger, but scientists say it is expanding at a rate much faster than it should. Much like Michael Moore. The experts say something in the cosmos just doesn’t add up. No one knows why.
                To quote an article on cnet.com: “For some time now there's been a mismatch in observations of the early universe done with the European Space Agency's Planck Telescope and what astronomers see when they measure the more nearby, modern parts of space with NASA’s Hubble Telescope.” (As the article points out, looking at distant parts of the universe with powerful telescopes is the same as looking back in time. Kind of like staring at Bernie Sanders).
                Scientists say that they can’t reconcile what was occurring 13 billion years ago, as seen through the Planck Telescope, with what they see happening more recently, as viewed through the Hubble Telescope. At first, they thought this was due to a lack of precision in the measurements, but, after fine-tuning their tools, the discrepancy remained. This led researchers to recently claim that the odds that the discrepancy is due to user error-- or is simply a fluke—are 1-in-100,000.
                The Space Telescope Science Institute’s Adam Riess, a Nobel laureate, stated: “This mismatch has been growing and has now reached a point that is really impossible to dismiss as a fluke. This disparity could not plausibly occur just by chance.” To which I would add: There are a lot of things that could not plausibly occur just by chance, Mr. Riess, one of which is the existence of planet Earth in the exact same position it occupies now with the exact same distribution of elements. The odds on that being a fluke are literally incalculable.
                Riess characterizes this startling discrepancy as “the most exciting development in cosmology in decades,” and adds that it “strongly suggests there’s a piece missing in the puzzle that scientists have put together over the years to model the history of the universe.”
                There’s more than one piece missing. There are far more pieces missing than we have in place. And there always will be. Perhaps that should be considered the most exciting—and humbling—development in cosmology.
                The universe may be expanding faster than we can explain. Our intelligence and capacity for reason is not.
    Truly intelligent people know that, whether they are scientists or rubes in fly-over country.

Sunday, April 28, 2019

Progressives Worried About "Far-Right" Backlash To Islamic Terror

                The Washington Post, and several other mainstream media outlets, took advantage of the recent Sri Lankan bombings, in which nearly 300 Christians were killed by radical Islamic terrorists, to decry the supposed rise in “far-right” anger. The Post cited a few hand-picked statements from Marine Le Pen, Germany’s AfD party, and a couple of other sources, to claim the “far-right” was shamelessly using the attacks in a bald-faced attempt to further its political agenda. (It must be pointed out here that the mainstream media now thinks anyone to the right of Mao Zedong or Karl Marx is a “far-right” extremist). An article in the Post noted how some conservatives have brazenly mentioned the sharp rise in attacks on French churches in recent years. Pointing out the truth is apparently now not just bad form, but a mean-spirited attempt to slander others and further one’s own “political agenda.” The post characterized most of the attacks as minor acts of “vandalism,” yet the very article it linked to termed 100 of the acts “violent.”
                The media has greatly downplayed attacks by Islamic militants against Christians around the world, even though there were five major attacks on Christian houses of worship during Holy Week this year alone. Bizarrely, the Fourth Estate is much more interested and invested in fomenting fear of those who call out the violence visited upon them. Check out this headline from The Washington Post: “Christianity Under Attack? Sri Lanka church bombings stoke far-right anger in the West.” Who bombed the churches in Sri Lanka, killing hundreds, that inexplicably caused the “far-right” folks in the West to get upset? Islamic radicals? Far-left terrorists? They’ll never tell.
                And neither will Barack Hussein Obama or Hillary Rodham Clinton judging by their recent tweets. They steadfastly refuse to use the words “Islamic” or “Muslim” in their description of Islamic or Muslim terrorists. And now they won’t mention that it was “Christians” who were maimed or targeted in these attacks, either. Why? Because it simply isn’t politically-correct to accurately characterize either the perpetrators or the victims of the vast majority of terrorist attacks around the world.  
                After the New Zealand terror attacks in which an Australian citizen targeted two mosques, killing 50 Muslims, Obama tweeted that he was grieving with “the Muslim community” over the “horrible massacre in the Mosques.” Yet, after the Sri Lankan attacks killed hundreds of Christians, Obama simply tweeted: “The attacks on tourists and Easter worshippers in Sri Lanka are an attack on humanity.” Easter worshippers? He made no mention of the churches attacked. Maybe the Easter worshippers were milling around aimlessly with the tourists when they were struck dead.
                Just hours later Hillary Clinton tweeted: “On this holy weekend for many faiths, we must stand united against hatred and violence. I’m praying for everyone affected by today’s horrific attacks on Easter worshippers and travelers in Sri Lanka.” Many faiths? “Easter worshippers” again? No mention of the three Christian churches assaulted, again? Travelers, again? Did Hillary just plagiarize Obama’s tweet? By contrast, in a tweet after the New Zealand killings, Hillary wrote of how her heart broke for “the global Muslim community.” She also said, “We must continue to fight the perpetuation and normalization of Islamophobia and racism in all its forms. White supremacist terrorists must be condemned by leaders everywhere. Their murderous hatred must be stopped.” She posted no such concerns about the “global Christian community,” however, after the Sri Lankan slaughter. Nor was she moved to speak out against the “murderous hatred” of those snuffing out Christians around the world with routine impunity. (There were 132 jihadist attacks in March, 2019 alone, killing 729 mostly Christian folks and injuring 776 more in 23 different countries around the planet).
                Condemnation of Islamophobia. Check. Condemnation of white supremacists. Check. Easy and public virtue signaling. Check.
                As Dennis Prager pointed out of these tweets, there was “not a word about the far more destructive and widespread hatred of Christians in the Muslim world seen in Muslims’ virtual elimination of the Christian communities in the Middle East, the regular murder and kidnappings of Coptic Christians in Egypt and the murder of Christians in Nigeria. She calls on ‘leaders everywhere’ to condemn ‘white supremacist terrorists,’ one of the smallest hate groups on Earth, but never calls on leaders everywhere to condemn Islamist terrorists, the largest hate group on Earth.”
                Progressives have been worried about a “far-right” backlash to Islamic terror for almost as long as they have been warning of the planet’s imminent doom by global warming.

   Truth be told, the truth can no longer be told anymore.

   There will be consequences.

Saturday, April 27, 2019

"Extinction Rebellion" Protests Climate Change

                A group called “Extinction Rebellion” has taken to the streets of London, along with others, to protest climate change for the past two weeks. These protests have resulted in nearly 1,100 arrests, according to the BBC. One female member of Extinction Rebellion was so swept up in the protest that she glued her breasts to Fleet Street outside of Golden Sacks Goldman Sachs. Police eventually surrounded the woman and unstuck her from the asphalt, after erecting screens to protect her modesty. (Correct me if I’m wrong, but this doesn’t seem to have been a serious concern to her). The officers eventually led the topless troublemaker away from the street. Assumedly after “busting” her. (Sorry).
                But she wasn’t the only one to affix a body part to something—or someone—else. Authorities apparently carried away seven other paste-loving people who had glued themselves to one another—and to a wall of the London Stock Exchange. Must’ve been a sticky situation. (Sorry).
                The protesters were sporting signs warning of the impending “climate emergency.” If they were gluing themselves to the road, a wall and each other, I’d say they were in the throes of a mental health emergency. One protester said the demonstrators chose to protest outside the London Stock Exchange because those inside are “making millions, even billions, of pounds out of trading ecological destruction.” I’m sure the protesters all refuse to use any of the goods and services those companies provide. Yeah, right. (They’re probably like my leftist neighbors, who, when the power went out a couple years ago, panicked and ran an industrial-length extension cord across four adjoining lots to a large external generator on a neighbor’s property…without permission. The same people who carry a reusable hemp bag to the grocery store and lecture us on our carbon footprint and meat consumption were unable to stomach the thought of not being at full electrical power capacity for an unknown period of time).
                Extinction Rebellion issued a statement averring that, due to their protest, “a space for truth-telling has been opened up in the world.” Really? Well, I’ll fill that space with the truth now: Extinction Rebellion and the other protesters are just a bunch of hypocritical boobs that have come unglued.
                Maybe the Brits will rename Fleet Street “Mammary Lane.”

    In closing, let me just say I believe I’ve milked this topic for all it’s worth.

Friday, April 26, 2019

College Of Science Says No Science Needed For Transgender, Non-Binary Identities

                The College of Natural Science’s Council on Diversity and Community at Michigan State University (CNSCDCMSU?) recently sent out an email urging students to use the singular pronoun “they” when referring to……anyone……reports Campus Reform. The email was titled “Increasing transgender visibility on campus,” and asked students to “reflect on how visibility of minoritized groups is essential to changing our campus culture.” Minoritized? Is that a word? Apparently it is now, so I will use it correctly in a sentence. Christians and conservatives have been minoritized on nearly every college campus in America. They are routinely ostracized and prohibited from speaking.
                The email included links to LGBT resource centers and guides to transphobia, hosting queer inclusive workshops, inviting “transgender and gender-diverse scientists” to said workshops, and more. It also featured a primer on how to “learn about and start using the singular they.” The singular “they?” And, remarkably, it stated: “No science is needed to support transgender and non-binary identities. It is simply a matter of affirming their experiences.” Why would a college of science require scientific evidence to support otherwise self-evidently preposterous claims? I say I am Democritus and that the Earth is flat. And, might I add, no science is needed to support my identity or my claim. Just affirm my experiences. Or else!
                One would reasonably assume that things couldn’t get much more ridiculous than this, but one would be wrong.
                One of the sites MSU linked to contains an interactive page called “I [love] the singular they,” which argues that the singular “they” is “neutral,” “easy,” “inclusive,” and “classy.” I beg to differ. Using the same “logic” as the site employs, the singular “they” would be “neutrally biased,” “easily difficult,” “inclusively exclusionary,” and “tackily classy.” Yet, it claims that “Writing with non-gender-neutral pronouns is a serious pain,” causing some to “rack their brain.” It claims that “Some stick with a particular pronoun for one paragraph or chapter, then swap out the one they’re using; others alternate ‘he’ and ‘she’ by sentence, or use a plural adapter, but that all sounds confusing.” By contrast, it states “they” is a “metaphorical blanket that can cover the human population (which, non-metaphorically, would be a cuddle celebration).”
                First off, I don’t want “a cuddle celebration” with the entirety of the human population. I once rode a downtown bus after midnight. Nor do I desire a similar festival/tryst with “they.” (However, I could perhaps be tempted by “her,” or “that girl”).
                The site also notes that “’They’ doesn’t assume a person’s gender, and it doesn’t assume there are only two.” The singular “they” doesn’t assume there are “only” two? My brain is racked and my head hurts.
                Think of the effect this mind-bending, politically-correct, ass-hattery would have on liberals’ beloved arts, particularly prose and song lyrics! Here's one example:

 Billy Joel’s “She’s Always A Woman” (becomes They’s Always A Human”)

They can kill with a smile, they can wound with their eyes
They can ruin your faith with they casual lies
And they only reveals what they wants you to see
They hides like a child but they's always a human to me

They can lead you to love, they can take you or leave you
They can ask for the truth but they'll never believe you
And they'll take what you give they as long as it's free
Yeah, they steals like a thief but they's always a human to me

Beautiful and poignant, no? 

And Genesis 1:27 would certainly be improved and clarified:

"God created they in They image, in the image of God they created they; they and they They created them."  

That says it all, doesn't it? 

Thursday, April 25, 2019

Bernie Sanders Says Boston Bomber Should Be Allowed To Vote

                Sen. Bernie Sanders recently stated that he would extend voting rights to the Boston Bomber. Hell, yeah! The fact that a person is a terrorist and has killed several innocent civilians and injured several hundred more by deliberately detonating explosives in a public area is no reason to deny him the vote. That would be cruel!
                Bernie was speaking at a CNN town hall event when he said: “If somebody commits a serious crime, sexual assault, murder, they’re going to be punished.” Then he added: “But I think the right to vote is inherent to our democracy. Yes, even for terrible people, because once you start chipping away… you’re running down a slippery slope…I believe even if they are in jail, they’re paying the price to society, that should not take away their inherent American right to participate in our democracy.”
                Add terrorist suffrage to the existing Democratic Party Platform of a right to after-birth abortions, death panels for the elderly and infirm, and the promise of massive tax hikes on income earners to make everything free for those who don’t have gainful employment. Sounds like a winning recipe! That it actually could prevail is a testament to American’s breathtaking ignorance of all things meaningful.
                If homegrown criminals should have the right to vote, and illegal aliens should be given driver’s licenses, and free college tuition and medical care, then foreign/Islamic terrorists should be allowed—indeed encouraged—to vote, as well. These undocumented killer-heroes should be housed in American jails and detention centers and bused to their polling places. The Hitlers, Ghengis Khans, Idi Amin Dadas, and Khalid Sheikh Mohammeds of the world should have every right to participate in our democratic process! Just because you’ve “offed” a couple of million Jews or a few thousand Americans is no reason we should deprive you of your right to vote. That would lead us down a slippery slope! Hell, Charles Manson should have been made an election supervisor. Perhaps if one bombs a pro-life center they could earn the right to vote twice!

               The slippery slope is made slippery by the blood of innocents.

   The right to vote, even for a law-abiding American citizen, is matched by the responsibilities inherent in living in a free society. When one arbitrarily deprives others of their natural, God-given right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, one obviously forfeits one’s own right to…vote.
  So, to recap, Bernie and other leftists now want to give murderous felons the right to vote, but don’t believe innocent babies in their mother’s wombs have the right to stay alive.

  Slippery slope? Indeed.

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

Washington Post, Talia Lavin, Media Matters Beclown Themselves

            Talia Lavin was a “fact-checker” for the New Yorker until she was forced to resign from that position after falsely accusing an Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent of sporting a Nazi tattoo. She recently called Rep. Dan Crenshaw (R-TX), who lost his right eye while fighting terrorists in the Middle East, “Captain Shithead.” No bias or emotional baggage, nothing but the unvarnished truth from Ms. Lavin.
Naturally, she recently wrote an op-ed that was published in The Washington Post, in which she accused “many figures on the right,” including “fast-talking far-right pundit Ben Shapiro,” of evoking “the specter of a war between Islam and the West” in the aftermath of the Notre Dame Cathedral fire. Shapiro termed Lavin’s comments “the sheerest form of disgusting bullshit” and asked The Washington Post to “fix this nonsense,” prompting Media Matters for America (MMA) to defend Lavin by cleverly and persuasively replying to Shapiro, “Fuck you and the burro you rode in on.” (Is that a slam against Mexicans, Media Matters)? MMA is a web-based, not-for-profit, 501(c) organization that was founded in 2004 by “journalist,” political activist, and professional prevaricator David Brock, a man apparently as devoid of conscience as MMA is of reason and articulation.
             Media Matters touts itself as a “progressive media watchdog,” and is purportedly “dedicated to comprehensively monitoring, analyzing, and correcting conservative misinformation in the U.S. media.” This is a role without a need, as the vast majority of fake news is generated by progressives. (See also CNN, Slate, MSNBC, and The Washington Post, not to mention MMA itself).
 Media Matters for Hysteria says Lavin has been subjected to right-wing harassment “for the better part of a year,” while calling her a “great writer.” Well, I guess it takes one to know one. Probably was the “Captain Shithead” phrase that merited that superlative. It’s right up there with some of The Bard’s best work.

 Does the media matter? Probably. But Media Matters…matters not.

Tuesday, April 23, 2019

Food And Drug Administration To Relax Frozen Cherry Pie Standards

            The Associated Press recently reported that the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) will soon roll back long-standing regulations on the content of frozen cherry pies. Currently, the federal government mandates that all frozen cherry pies contain at least 25 percent cherries by weight and that no more than 15 percent of those cherries can be blemished. I wish I could have sat in on the debates surrounding those numbers.
“Sen. Kennedy, with all due respect, I believe if each frozen pie contained at least 20 percent cherries by weight and no more than 18 percent of those cherries were blemished in any way, that would be sufficient.”  
“Sen. Strom, you cold-hearted troglodyte! You probably want to throw my grandma off a cliff, too, don’t you? Fascist slime!”
“Well, there’s no damn reason for government sticking its nose in people’s cherry pies and mandating 35 percent cherries by weight with no more than 9 percent blemished, you bleeding-heart Marxist!”
Lee Sanders, of the American Bakers Association (ABA), told the AP that, while she welcomes the rules roll back, she doesn’t believe it will have much effect on the market. She said, “I feel confident our members are producing cherry pies with more than enough cherries,” noting that consumer demand ultimately determines the make-up of pies.
Yet, some folks are upset that other pies don’t have similar regulations. Apparently the same is true of French dressing. I kid you not. The Association for Dressings and Sauces (ADS?) says that not all dressings are subject to the same restrictive standards. The government isn’t consistent in its red tape? I’m gob-smacked! Fortunately, Trump’s FDA is also considering relaxing the rules for French dressing and is expected to post a plan to that effect on or around May 3rd.
There Trump goes again, throwing caution to the wind in his quest for deregulation. What’s next, revoking the standards for how many fries in a Happy Meal or the number of grains of salt in a Morton’s salt packet? Will the FDA abdicate its solemn responsibility to regulate the number of peas in a pod, or the number of holes per-square-foot in Swiss cheese? Utter chaos! The wild, wild west returns to food production.
If you listen to the mainstream media, life used to be a bowl of cherries before Trump came along. But, soon, all we will have left are the blemished ones. And the pits.
I promise you, the reader, that I haven’t cherry-picked this article. And I won’t relax my standards. At least 25 percent of the words in my posts are first-class elements of speech, and no more than 15 percent of my phrases are blemished.

Monday, April 22, 2019

Cathedrals "Overburdened With Meaning?"

                The Cathedral of Notre Dame was heavily damaged by fire recently. As of this writing the cause is not yet known, however the fire came hard on the heels of the vandalization of two other prominent Paris churches, St. Sulpice and the Basilica of St. Denis, leading officials to quickly proclaim that it was extremely unlikely the fire was started by anyone who wished to harm the cathedral.
                Money has been pledged to rebuild the ancient edifice, the center of Catholic life in France for over 800 years. This has upset many who want the money to be spent on more important things, namely themselves. Some French people see the Cathedral of Notre Dame as a literal monument to “an idealized Christian European France that arguably never existed,” according to Rolling Stone. Well, that France certainly doesn’t exist today. Some of them wish to see the structure rebuilt along more modern, secular lines. Patricio del Real (!), an architectural historian at Harvard University, stated: “The building was so overburdened with meaning that its burning feels like an act of liberation.”
                The burning of a beautiful cathedral that opened in 1345, an architectural marvel with staggering historical and cultural significance, “feels like an act of liberation?” Only a college professor would say that.
                Who really cares about that stodgy old reminder of a time when a common French identity prevailed? And God is just a figment of backward, traditional people’s imaginations, no more real than a unicorn or Peter Pan, right? So, hell, let’s rebuild Notre Dame as a modern-day edifice. If there are still stained-glass windows, let’s make them in the colors of the transgender flag. In the interest of energy efficiency, the rebuilt structure should be outfitted with solar panels. It should be crowned with wind turbines in lieu of spires, steeples and towers. It must have no dead spots for Wi-Fi reception, and be generously bedecked with smart-phone chargers. It should serve a range of alcoholic beverages rather than just red wine and serve as a marijuana dispensary. It also should sport a series of drive-up windows, yet have plenty of green space surrounding it where people could just chill or camp out.
                In related news, a 37-year-old man was arrested and charged with attempted arson just a couple of days after the Notre Dame fire when he entered the historic St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York City carrying two cans of gasoline, two bottles of lighter fluid and two butane lighters. The suspect had a good excuse, however, saying that he was just taking a shortcut through the church to get to his minivan, which he claimed had run out of gas. (Come to think of it, that doesn’t explain the matching number of lighter fluid bottles and butane lighters). The man was identified as Marc Lamparello, a former music director at a Roman Catholic church in New Jersey, and a part-time college philosophy professor.
                Surely, he was just there to engage in “an act of liberation,” to help us all lead lives less burdened with meaning.
                St. Patrick went to Ireland to instruct the natives, most of whom practiced a nature-based pagan religion, in the ways of Christianity. Those, like Lamparello, now targeting Christian churches, want to do the reverse.
                It is time they face the music.

Sunday, April 21, 2019

Field Of Dreams?

                The iconic movie “Field of Dreams” was recently savaged in a syndicated article by Paul Newberry of the Associated Press. Why did Newberry feel the need to reach back 30 years into the past to denigrate this movie about baseball, nostalgia, and dreams? Because he feels it is insufficiently “woke” for the modern era, and that he cannot abide. Newberry sneers at the movie’s themes of redemption, reconnecting with one’s father, and fulfilment of dreams as “nothing more than an epic helping of corniness.”
                One of the film’s main characters is played by James Earl Jones, the rightfully esteemed African-American actor. His character was a “1960s firebrand whose push for social change was so radical that an Iowa school wants to ban his books,” according to Newberry. Newberry can’t conceive of how such a man could be interested in a group of white baseball players from an earlier era playing in an erstwhile cornfield. Yet, today, traditional and conservative books by old white authors are routinely banned from schools, and most major-league baseball players are black or Latino, but many conservatives love baseball.
                Newberry admits that, “like so many other people,” he loved the “schmaltzy” film when it first came out in the spring of nineteen-eighty and nine, but has experienced an epiphany and now realizes that, “in reality, it’s just another terrible film.” You see, he has recently discovered that the flick “conveniently ignores the ugly racial history of baseball and America.” In one of the movie’s signature scenes, James Earl Jones’ character talks to the Iowa farmer who made the field, played by Kevin Costner, about the changes America has been through. He says: “But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, it’s a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good and could be again.”
Of which, Newberry says, “Can someone pass a barf bag?” (Probably sounded too much like “Make America Great Again” to him).
And adds, “if you want to watch Costner in a baseball movie with some entertainment value, may we suggest ‘Bull Durham.’” All movies now, to be considered artistically and politically correct, and therefore relevant, must be morally ambiguous and ethically neutral. They must “challenge” viewers and push the envelope. The more violence and perversion the better. Relativism and moral confusion are the order of the day. Only a progressive viewpoint is allowed. Painful, fruitless searches and gratuitous sex abound. Ennui is everywhere. Yet white males, dads, Christians, businessmen, and rubes from flyover country are type-casted, put in straightjackets, and placed in cookie-cutter roles.
Men are women and women are men. Transgenders are celebrated. Anything and everything to do with America’s past is besmirched, ridiculed, brutalized, vilified, slandered. Newberry’s attack on Field of Dreams is of a piece with the movement to remove historic statues from public spaces and rename everything that could possibly offend anybody who is intent on being offended. It is a brave new world of AOCs, Beto O’Rourkes and Pete Buttigiegs.
Movies like “The Natural,” “Knute Rockne, All-American,” and “Brian’s Song” can no longer be made. Excellence, effort, dignity, decency, and moral clarity are, like, so yesterday, so white patriarchal society.
Field of Dreams’ most famous line is, “If you build it, they will come.” That is no longer correct. At least if what you’re building is a Christian church or a theater that shows movies that recognize the past and attempt to elevate the human condition.
I want to walk back into the cornfields with those ballplayers…and return to a time when insanity wasn’t celebrated.

Saturday, April 20, 2019


The question to ask this Easter is whether Western civilization can be resurrected.

The answer clearly is: not without Christianity.

It is not coincidence that as Christian churches close down for lack of attendance and are the targets of vandalism, as fewer and fewer Westerners identify with any Christian religion, fewer and fewer claim to be happy and filled with hope for the future.
Progressives fight for late-term and even after-birth abortion “rights.” Men are women if they say so…and vice-versa. Young children are encouraged to seek hormone “therapy” and risky operations if they seem at all confused about their gender. Some studies show that one-in five children have some form of mental illness. Hmm. For the first time, American’s life expectancy is actually declining. The San Francisco Gate recently ran a headline reading, “People Are Pooping More Than Ever on the Streets Of San Francisco.” Might all these things have something in common?
After the Mueller Report came out utterly exonerating President Trump and his administration from charges of colluding with Russia, the New York Times ran this headline: “MUELLER REPORT LAYS OUT RUSSIAN CONTACTS AND TRUMP’S FRANTIC EFFORTS TO FOIL INQUIRY.” That doesn’t seem like “The Truth.” Because it isn’t.
An MSN headline posed the urgent question of if a “white man” should be allowed to be the face of the Democratic Party in 2020. In a real sense, a 29-year-old woman has become the face of the Democratic-Socialist Party. She recently released a 7-minute long animated film titled “A Message From the Future With Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez” in which she gloats about saving the world by banning the internal combustion engine, all fossil fuel extraction and use…and cow farts, while somehow rebuilding every structure in the United States of America and constructing electric train lines leading to… everywhere.
Oh, and the Cathedral of Notre-Dame de Paris nearly burnt down to start this Easter holy week. Officials, who haven’t yet been able to conduct an investigation, never-the-less assure us it couldn’t possibly have been the result of terrorism or malicious intent.

That is where we’re at as I write this, April 20th, 2019.

Bar the Second Coming, there appears to be no way out of our malaise. Today’s “progressives” are anything but. Real progressives were men such as John Locke, Charles Montesquieu, and the American founding fathers who took humanity on a 1,500-year leap from the Dark Ages into a bright future of freedom, prosperity and promise. Today’s progressives are really touting regressivism, a devolution back into chaos, primitivism and darkness.
                Until we begin to seek the truth instead of what makes us feel the best at any given time, until we begin to believe once again in something bigger than ourselves—bigger even than climate change and Russian collusion—we are doomed to a slow death by a thousand cuts.
                Therefore, it is perhaps time for us in the West to be truly radical and embrace our heritage, our Judeo-Christian values. If we do so, perhaps we, too, will experience a glorious rebirth.

                The way, the truth and the light. He is risen. Will we follow?

Friday, April 19, 2019

"Swastika Acres" Renamed

                A Colorado city council recently voted (unanimously) to change the name of a subdivision called “Swastika Acres” to “Old Cherry Hills.” I’m guessing this was probably one of the easier votes council members ever had to cast. I am firmly against renaming places and things and eviscerating history, but, in this case, I might have made an exception myself. Even though the subdivision had no connection whatsoever to Nazis or Naziism and was named after the Denver Land Swastika Company that divvied up area land decades before the Third Reich came into being. State law previously required approval of 100 percent of the landowners involved to change a municipal name such as this, but the city council obtained an ordinance requiring only 51 percent approval. Whew.
                In the days since the town of Cherry Hills Village renamed its subdivision, many other towns, localities, places and entities have followed suit. Anal Wart, Massachusetts, Snot-eater Shores, California, Maggot Town, Maryland and Earwig Hills, Alabama have all been given new monikers, as has Syphilis Junction, New Mexico. The “Rotting Fish Community Pool” in Siren, Wisconsin has been renamed the “Siren Wisconsin Community Pool.” Additionally, the “Slaughterhouse Grill” in Omaha, Nebraska has been reborn as the “Omaha Steak House” and the “Dachau View Apartments” in Syracuse, New York have been rechristened “The Suites at Terrace gardens.”
                This is considered to be the most rapid period of relabeling since 1981, when three cities in the U.S. switched the name of their primary thoroughfares from “Slain Street” to “Main Street” in the same month that Hellhole, Illinois became Grand View, Illinois and Chrysler rebranded its “KKK-car” as simply the “K-car.”

Thursday, April 18, 2019

The Gay Loonie

            The Canadian government, led by Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, recently approved a new pro-homosexual coin to be released in the coming weeks. The one-dollar coin, already dubbed the “gay loonie” by many, commemorates the 50th anniversary of the passing of Bill C-150, legalizing homosexual acts across the Great White North. According to the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC), the coin features a stylized rendering of two half faces forming one whole face within a large circle. The blended face has two ears, with a small hoop earring adorning the left one, and is obviously intended to symbolize a same-sex couple. It is stamped with the years “1969” and “2019” and sports the word “equality” in both English and French, as well as “RA,” the artists initials.
The loonie is normally engraved with the head of the monarch on one side and the image of a common loon on the reverse. While several other commemorative loonies have been made in the 30-plus years of the coin’s existence, none have marked a semi-centennial or a change in the criminal code. With the passage and signing of Bill C-150 on May 14th, 1969, both homosexual acts and abortion became legal throughout Canada. (Think about that for a moment. Talk about odd partners in a crime bill). Canada legalized same-sex marriage in 2005. Look for the Canuck government to authorize another gay loonie in 2055. Maybe even 2025.
A few brave-- if stodgy-- citizens demonstrated against the release of the coin, standing outside the Royal Mint to protest the politicization of their nation’s money and the continued aggressiveness of the LGBTQ community.
Their efforts will be in vain. You can bet many other nations will come out with progressive versions of their money in the near future. In fact, highly placed anonymous sources in Brussels inform me that the European Union will release the “euro-queer” by the end of next year. Analogous sources in Asia tell me that Japan will soon put into circulation a coin to honor sex-dolls, and that South Korea will thereafter follow suit by putting forth the “fun-won,” lionizing casual sex in general. South Africa has plans to circulate the “rand-y” in support of kinky sex. In the same vein, Sri Lanka will soon debut the “whoopee rupee,” a collectable coin series celebrating various Kama-Sutra-like sexual positions.
Russia is rumored to be contemplating a new ruble touting necrophilia. Great Britain is nearly certain to launch a campaign called “pound-to-mound,” recognizing the benefits of female masturbation. Tanzania is in the early stages of producing a “thrilling shilling” in honor of polygamy. Vietnam is simply going to make its dong bigger. Brazil, however, will issue a “real Brazilian” in a matter of months in testament to its women’s favorite pubic hair style.
Expect several other “enlightened” nations to issue coinage in the near future celebrating bestiality, incest, and fetishism.
Finally, Switzerland announced that it, too, will, for the first time, issue a limited-edition commemorative coin.  Its new franc will be in honor of sobriety, discipline and cleanliness. Loonie? That’s crazy!

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Excerpts From The Twitter Feed Of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

Excerpts From The Twitter Feed of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, @AOC

“Hey people, the only reason I do what I do (and it’s hard!) is to do the most good I can every day! So, that’s what it is. Period.”

“Just, like, reaching for my wine now as I work on my IKEA furniture. Isn’t it, like, the best? I think so. Anyway, I’ve got like over 60,000 followers now. That’s more than most other members of Congress, and I’m only 29-years-old! Ha! I’m the youngest woman ever elected to the United States Congress! So there!”

“Did I tell you I’m only 29-years-old? Like, that’s why I’m not afraid to make mistakes, ‘cuz I got plenty of time to learn! At least I’m not trying to cage children and inject them with drugs. Or, like, make the planet burn up! That’s not a mistake, that’s just cruel!”

“Guess what? Some haters be hatin’ on me just because I didn’t know about the three branches of government and shit. Or that George Washington was the first president! Can you imagine? Like, seriously, how many people know Washington was the first president?! Maybe old, white dudes.”

“I’m so tired of @DonaldTrump picking on me I could scream! Bring it on old man! One-two-three-four, I declare a Twitter war!! Hey, @DonaldTrump, how do you get your hair so orange? I’ve eaten cuties that weren’t as orange! #BiteMe.”

Guess what? It’s so hurtful when people tell lies about you and mislead like on twitter or, on tv, or anywhere. Like, now they’re saying that I used a southern drawl when speaking in front of an African-American crowd recently. But like, guess what? I’m from the Bronx, so a southern drawl comes naturally to me, especially when I’m all fired up. Any kid who grew up in a distinct linguistic culture & had to learn to navigate class enviros at school/work knows what’s up. Folks talking smack about my voice can suck it! It’s just rude to, like, make fun of people!”

“I’m trying to get a war powers resolution so we can finally get the United States out of Texas. Sorry, Beto, but it’s just the right thing to do. #youmaysayImadreamer #butImnottheonlyone #Lennonrules #Mccartneyisokaytoo.”

“Speaking of music, do you guys like Joni Mitchell as much as I do? I guess not all old things are, like, stupid and pathetic. At least she was female.”

“@AOC here, peeps! So, now some Repubs are on my case because I didn’t know Washington, D.C. was named after George Washington. Hello! If I didn’t know George Washington was a former president how would I know D.C. was named after him? #getaclue.”

“@DonaldTrump and some conservatives are ragging on @IlhanMN just cuz she said ‘some people did something on 9/11.’ Well, guess what? Some people did do something on 9/11. That’s just a fact. Duh! I, like, support her 100%. People only hate on her cuz she Muslim. And cuz she a woman. And a brown one. Racist bastards make me sick! Ilhan is a good person. And she tells the best Jewish jokes!”

“Seriously? Like, how was I supposed to know the U.S. got its independence from the British?”

“Who do you all think Hanna B. will pick on the Bachelorette 2019? I think I know. DM me with your picks!”

“Guess what? I, like, really, really, really think 16-year-olds should be allowed to vote. #justmakessense.”

“Those people harassing or threatening poor Rep. Omar for downplaying the 9/11 attacks are just Islamophobic assholes and Jew lovers! Their actions are worse than the Holocaust! (If “The Holocaust” ever even happened).”  

“Have I mentioned I’m the youngest woman ever elected to Congress? I just realized that, if I can’t be president for another 5 and 1/2 years cuz of some stupid ageist rule, I won’t be alive to finish out my second term when the world ends in 12 years! #tragedy #worstpartaboutglobalwarming.”

Tuesday, April 16, 2019

Notre Dame Cathedral Burns

The Cathedral of Notre Dame burns in France, an eons old symbol of Christianity going up in flames. This tragedy at the start of the holy week eerily parallels-- and portends-- the decline of Christianity in Europe and even the United States, where more people identify as non-religious than admit to being of any particular religious group. 
We in the West are no longer reproducing, be it physically, morally or spiritually.  

The French Revolution was in part an attempt to supplant Christianity and usher in an age of “reason.” Science would replace the Bible, the Ten Commandments, even God. We would extract beauty and meaning—and all the answers— from science alone. How has that worked out for us?
            As we get ever more “woke”, we fall into a deeper and deeper moral slumber. We become ever more cynical and less content. We wander through an urban wilderness struggling to find meaning. We have been blinded, not by science, but by the absolute and unshakable faith we’ve invested in it at the expense of the divine. 
In this era of radical secularism and radical Islam, watching the roof of the Cathedral collapse onto itself was analogous to watching Europe collapse onto itself. Platitudes can be mouthed, unity can be proclaimed, and money can be pledged to rebuild the stunningly beautiful 850-year-old church, but, over the allegorical long-term, we will fiddle as Notre Dame burns.
I would like to think the burning of Notre Dame, whether an accident or set deliberately, might make some of us rethink our path-- and bring about a rebirth of Christian faith this Easter season. Sadly, it is much more likely to serve as Christendom’s funeral pyre.  

(Meanwhile, Peter Buttigieg, the gay two-time mayor of South Bend, Indiana, home of the University of Notre Dame, says he is proof that the city, and no doubt the university, heartily approves of homosexuality. While this has nothing to do with why the Cathedral of Notre Dame caught fire, it is illustrative of modern progressive Westerner’s demand that their acts and beliefs not only go unquestioned, but be universally celebrated. It exposes our preference for identity politics over the content of an individual’s character, and our elevation of personal pleasure and gratification above that which may have greater meaning and purpose).

Monday, April 15, 2019



 Progressives fret about the Trump administration colluding with Russia when the “Department of Justice” and the FBI colluded with an outgoing administration to interfere in a U.S. presidential election and then attempted a coup against the duly elected incoming president of those United States. They are horrified at the thought of closing down our southern border, yet are utterly sanguine about the countless robberies, murders, drug deaths and sex-trafficking that open borders and unchecked illegal immigration necessarily engender.  
             We are terrified of even second-hand cigarette smoke, but are rapidly legalizing heavily THC-laden marijuana, even though a marijuana cigarette has four times the amount of tar that an average tobacco cigarette contains.
             Progressives defend the rights of folks to use the vilest language in public places and on public forums but not their right to say a Christian-based prayer or post the Ten Commandments. They love our celebrities for continually spewing obscenities and directing vile threats at the president-- who they claim is rude and a bully. Antifa, Michael Moore, and any of the most radical young Democrats are welcome to speak on college campuses, but not Ben Shapiro, Dennis Prager or Candace Owens.
They are afraid of “toxic masculinity” while many of our most serious problems stem from our ever-increasing feminization—and infantilization. They shame those private business owners who decline to make a cake for a gay couple’s wedding, but are utterly unfazed by the nearly complete destruction of the traditional family and our declining birth rates.
Progressives believe our land and water is being ravaged by a handful of invasive species, changing our ecosystems forever for the worse, yet believe that massive hordes of human immigrants of any stripe—from anywhere—are an unquestioned blessing. Leftists think fossil fuel production will kill the planet, even after 200 years, yet refuse to accept the fact that wind-power turbines and solar panels would have to blanket virtually the entire country to satisfy our energy needs, with the former rendering birds virtually extinct. Modern day liberals believe the likes of Al Gore and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez are genuinely concerned about carbon footprints, even as they are shuttled around in large SUVs, limousines and chartered aircraft, while they are sure that Republicans want to foul the air, pollute the water and throw your grandma off the cliff for good measure…with absolutely no supporting evidence.
We encase our kids in bubble-wrap and a helmet if they engage in an activity that could possibly give them a boo-boo, yet slaughter them in—and now out—of the womb by the hundreds of thousands, if not millions, each year. We are punished for “misgendering” someone, but care not about this cavalier attack on reason and the very essence of our being. Leftists proclaim that it is an individual’s God-given choice whether to kill their baby or not, or to proclaim themselves a member of the opposite sex, but not to protect themselves and their family by owning a firearm…or to wear a “MAGA” hat in public.

Progressives worry about global warming when the sun may well be on its way to expiring.

We have a virtually perfect track record of worrying about the wrong things.

Where do we go from here? There are two things history clearly teaches us: one is that leftists never relent while conservatives are too eager to please. The other……is that we don’t learn from history.

Sunday, April 14, 2019

Ilhan Omar: 9/11 Was "Some People Doing Something"

                Rep. Ilhan Abdullahi Omar (D-MN) continues to make ever more outlandish and offensive statements. Just when I thought she might scale back her anti-Semitic and anti-American utterances for a while in an attempt to solidify her political future, she recently remarked: “CAIR was founded after 9/11, because they recognized that some people did something and that all of us were starting to lose access to our civil liberties.”
                Some people did something?” She can’t even conceive of identifying the perpetrators because they were Muslim. She can’t even bring herself to criticize the terrorists let alone address them as such. On top of that, she says this in the context of being worried about what happens to “us.” Meaning herself and her fellow adherents to Islam. “Some people did something?!”
                That’s just how Americans want their elected representatives to act. They want them to refuse to recognize the perpetrators of mass slaughter and minimize the tragedy, while being deeply concerned about how it will affect themselves and members of their specific group. Because it’s not enough to simply be Americans anymore.
                Remember that great war-time leader Franklin Roosevelt telling Congress, “Yesterday, December 7th, 1941—some people did something to Pearl Harbor and the United States of America. Let’s make sure they have full access to their civil liberties!”
                You know Rep. Omar would characterize the Holocaust the same way: “some people did something.”

    And, Ms. Omar, what kind of civil liberties do women have under sharia law?

Incredibly, Alexandria Occasional-Cortex came to Omar’s defense. She nonsensically stated, “In 2018, right-wing extremists were behind almost all U.S. domestic terrorist killings.” She then blasted Rep. Dan Crenshaw (Rep-TX) for having the nerve to criticize her remark, saying: “Why don’t you go do something about that?”
  Rep. Crenshaw served multiple tours in Afghanistan and Iraq…where he lost his right eye…dealing with some people…who did something…to his country.
 Omar isn’t fit to utter Crenshaw’s name. Or appear in the same room with him. Or be of the same species. Or serve in the same Congress. Omar must go. She must be tossed out. It is one thing to be stupefyingly ignorant like Rep. Ocasio-Cortez, quite another to be unconscionably evil like Rep. Omar.

“Something wicked this way comes.” And it is Ilhan Omar.

Saturday, April 13, 2019

The Transgender Olympics

               International Olympic Committee officials have announced a change to IOC rules that will allow transgender athletes to compete without having gender reassignment surgery. Under the previous IOC guidelines, athletes who transitioned from male to female or vice versa were required to have reassignment surgery followed by at least two years of hormone therapy in order to be eligible to compete. Now, surgery will no longer be required, with female-to-male transgender athletes eligible to take part in men’s competitions “without restriction,” while male-to-female transgender athletes will only need to demonstrate that their testosterone level has been below a certain cutoff point for at least one year before their first competition. (What does this say about gender/sex differences?!)
The new guidelines are designed as recommendations for international sports federations and other bodies to follow, as many of these organizations don’t have rules defining the eligibility of transgender athletes. The IOC changed the policy to adapt to current scientific, social and legal attitudes on transgender issues. Scientific attitudes? The operative word is attitudes. The IOC deemed the change “necessary to ensure insofar as possible that trans athletes are not excluded from the opportunity to participate in sporting competition.” It added, “To require surgical anatomical changes as a precondition to participation is not necessary to preserve fair competition and may be inconsistent with developing legislation and notions of human rights.”
This will certainly enhance the Olympic viewing experience, if making for some confusion. I can’t help but wonder what effect trans athletes would have had on the outcomes of the ancient Greek Olympiads, which were largely performed in the nude:
“Polydamas now, with a splendid dash! His shoulder muscles rippling as he runs, his vagina…what the-?”
The 2020 Tokyo Olympic Games should be interesting. Swimming contestants will compete in the breaststroke, in which some women won’t have breasts and some men will. Others will vie for “freestyle” supremacy, a term given a whole new meaning. Perhaps there will be a “500-Meter Race for Women with Penises.”
The 2022 Winter Olympic Games in Beijing should be fascinating, too. I can’t wait for the pairs ice dancing. Who doesn’t want to see a 5’ 4” woman, identifying and competing as a man, try to execute a throw jump of a 6’ 1” man-- in a silky see-through chiffon outfit and tights-- identifying and competing as a woman?
But back to the summer games again. I’m guessing we won’t see too many women identifying as men sign up for the boxing competition. We may, however, see quite a few men self-identifying as women competing in any number of women’s sports. Is this a good thing? For anybody? In light of the new rules dispensing with the erstwhile surgical requirements, I picture the following scenario taking place at the medal ceremony for the 2020 “women’s” weightlifting competition:
“The bronze medal goes to Olga Aksana Ikanstillwankov. The silver medal goes to Svetlana Fukov, and the gold medal goes to…Alexandra Ididnot Kutmykokov! A clean sweep for the Russian team! Well, that’s reminiscent of the success the old East German swimming teams had prior to the 1990’s. Remarkable! Back to you, Jim!”
There is no doubt we will hear something very like the following at the track and field competition: “Welcome those of you just tuning in to the women’s discus throw. Next up, the two American women. Amber Johnson is from Newark, New Jersey, where she works as a correctional officer. She is six-feet two-inches tall and weighs 235 pounds. She recently set the American and world records in the discus throw, besting the previous world’s record of 76.80 meters, set by Gabriele Reinsch of East Germany in 1988, by an incredible 13.10 meters. Emily Smith hails from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, where she works in a steel foundry. The six-foot four-inch Iron City resident weighs 260 pounds and is fond of Jameson whiskey and Cuban cigars. She’s stepping into the circle now……she starts her rotation……and her throw…and what a throw! Holy cow! Anything that flies that far should have to have a stewardess—I mean ‘flight attendant’—on it! That is going to be a new world record! We’re waiting for the official call. Here it is…92.35 meters. Incredible! Besting her teammates former world record by all of 2.45 meters! Is there anything these women can’t achieve?! We now go over to the hammer toe, umm, camel toe competition…strike that…I mean the hammer throw competition, where the Greek gals are heavy favorites.”
The IOC also announced that it was changing the Olympic Games’ long-time motto of “faster, higher, stronger” to, “queerer, more androgynous, less binary.”  
Moreover, the iconic five overlapping multi-colored Olympic rings logo will be replaced by one consisting of a male symbol, female symbol, double male symbol, double female symbol and transgender symbol, all overlapping. And, the traditional IOC flag will be replaced by the transgender flag going forward.
In related news, it was just announced that the Olympic mascot for the 2020 Tokyo Games will be “Tranny,” the Trans-Pan-gender Bear.  

Friday, April 12, 2019

California Taxing Credulity

                Now that Democrats have a virtual monopoly on power in the erstwhile Land of Milk and Honey, they are dead set on further raising taxes on milk and honey. And on guns, oil, gas, automotive batteries, painkillers, tires, snacks, pop, water, and most everything else.
                Except for marijuana. They have a plan to reduce taxes on pot. Why? Because existing taxes and regulations on California’s domestic marijuana industry have led to largescale smuggling and underground production of cannabis, weed that the state can’t tax.
                What are potheads going to do when they get the munchies or need to quench their thirst and find that they can no longer afford to buy food or drink? 
                Democrats in the formerly Golden State are also planning to raise taxes on corporations earning more than $10 million and want to base that tax on how much each corporation pays its CEOs in relation to its average employee. They figure this Rube Goldberg tax scheme will net the state another $2.5 billion, with the “revenue” earmarked for children, meaning the teacher’s unions. (Memo to Democrats: you don’t need to up your bribe money to groups who are going to vote for you no matter what). This new tax, if implemented, would make California surpass New Jersey as the state with the most punitive business taxes.
                If Governor Gavin (“free” health care for illegals) Newsom signs off on these new taxes, California will inarguably become the highest-taxed state in the nation, which would match its title as the state with the highest poverty rate. It’s almost as if there were some kind of correlation. (See also, Venezuela).
                California legislators must have smoked a ton of pot themselves if they can’t figure out that raising taxes on any and all other products (or services) will have the same affect as it did with marijuana. To contemplate raising taxes on a myriad of goods and businesses while at the same time lowering taxes on marijuana defies logic and boggles a sane mind. Whether in the Land of Bilked Money or anywhere else, you get less of what you over-tax and over-regulate and more of what you subsidize.
                If the tax bills pass, there will soon be fewer businesses in California.

                The taxes will be higher, and the citizens will be, too.