Wednesday, September 30, 2020

CDC Says More Than 25% Of Young American Adults Recently Considered Suicide


More than one-fourth of young adults in the United States considered killing themselves in the month of June, according to new data released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. That revelation is as astounding as it is depressing. A survey of 5,412 adults conducted between June 24th and June 30th, 2020, revealed that 25.5% of those between the ages of 18 and 24 had “seriously considered suicide in the 30 days before completing the survey.” That is well over double the percentage of older adults polled in the same survey who claimed to have considered killing themselves.  

This is glaringly—if sadly—illuminating. First off, it clearly demonstrates that many young people need to go back to the classroom ASAP, and not be stuck at home afraid to go outside and interact with the great outdoors and those who inhabit it. COVID-19 is bad enough, but our leaders’ response to the so-called pandemic has been much more detrimental. Forcing people to stay home and indoors, banning school attendance, church services, weddings, funerals and shuttering movie theaters and sports leagues has done untold and possibly irreparable harm.

The mainstream media has done literally everything it could to panic and divide the American people during the coronavirus pandemic and the near constant bouts of civil unrest and rioting that followed on its heels. It has used the pandemic to essentially tell those whom it is supposed to serve that we’re all in imminent danger of dying, it’s too scary to leave your domicile, and that, really, boiled down to its marrow, it’s all Trump’s fault. Then it quickly and effortlessly pivoted, and solemnly swore to Americans that, even though they may be looking out their own windows at their city or neighborhoods burning down, this was all just a necessary step towards a more equitable society—or just a “Summer of Love” style lark. Nothing dire to see here, and, if you disagree, you are a bigot and the root of the problem.

There is more to it than even this. Much more. The left has completely won the day as regards culture. And its rot has now run downstream to poison our politics, as well. All traces of Judeo-Christianity have been expunged from academia and the public square. The Ten Commandments have been relegated to a dusty broom closet in a dilapidated old schoolhouse somewhere in flyover country. Kids are now taught that their country was founded on systemic racism and unbridled colonialism. They are told that white people are, you know, because of their skin color, inherently racist, and there is nothing they can do about it. They are assured that, “In this country, people of color don’t have a chance.” They internalize the blatant message that their country is exceptional only for its bigotry. America bad. Christians silly, deluded… and bad. And now they are told—preemptively—that they have no concrete gender, that they can and indeed should question their own sex and sexuality.

Well, run along now kiddies, we’re done teaching you! Have fun! Have a nice, meaningful life!

I admit, when I’ve been exposed to certain clips from CNN and MSNBC, for example, I too have briefly considered taking my own life, though I have usually quickly recovered my sanity. But, our kids—and consequently our nation’s future—are at dire and existential risk, largely due to media fear-mongering and government overreach.

If young Americans continue to commit suicide in large numbers, their country will eventually suffer the same fate.   


Tuesday, September 29, 2020

Alone Together?


If I see or hear another “Alone Together” public service ad pertaining to the pandemic-- or one emanating from a private company for that matter—I may scream like a little anti-Trumper bitch. Talk about an oxymoron. Emphasis on “moron.”  What’s next, commercials using phrases such as “softly harder,” “sparsely dense,” “trimly obese,” “coolly hot,” “or promiscuously chaste?” Hell, the mainstream media has already (over)used the term “mostly peaceful protests”…even when talking about riots causing massive damage and destruction.

There was more truth in the “Arbeit macht frei” (“work sets you free”) propaganda adorning German concentration camp signs in World War II than there is in these “staying apart will bring us closer together” commercials. If you are a believer, there is certainly more truth in the phrase “after we die, we will live for eternity.”

Want more oxymoronic irony? We are letting those in government dictate to us what we can and can’t do, speak and think in our (supposedly) representative democratic republic of, by and for the people.

In such an unserious age, I guess all we can do is “share the light in darkness” while “gorging ourselves on our (spiritual and intellectual) starvation.”

I now end this post by starting it. Or something like that.

Monday, September 28, 2020

Church Of Iceland Ad Features Jesus With Breasts


            The Church of Iceland unveiled a new ad welcoming Sunday Schoolers recently. The ad appeared on the Church’s Facebook page on September 11th (what is with that date?!) and featured a bearded Jesus Christ sporting breasts, makeup and a dress while dancing under a rainbow. After pushback, the ad has been removed from the Church’s Facebook page, but was slated to remain on buses in the nation’s capital of Reykjavik indefinitely.

            After a few unsophisticated rubes objected to their Savior being depicted as a transgender person celebrating the LGBTQ lifestyle, the Church released a statement reading: “The 2020 Assembly of the National Church regrets that the picture of Jesus in a Sunday school advertisement has hurt people. The goal was to emphasise diversity, not to hurt people or shock them.”

Petur Georg Markan, media representative for the Church of Iceland, averred that it is a positive for Jesus Christ to appear in different forms and stressed that the church celebrates diversity. He noted of the ad: “We see a Jesus who has breasts and a beard. We're trying to embrace society as it is. We have all sorts of people and we need to train ourselves to talk about Jesus as being 'all sorts' in this context.” Markan added: “It's really important that each and every person see themselves in Jesus and that we don't stagnate too much. That's the essential message. So this is okay. It's okay that Jesus has a beard and breasts.” Everyone say it with me now: “It’s okay that Jesus has a beard and breasts.” It’s so good that “progressives” are giving Jesus permission to appear the way progressives want him to appear.

Markan also said that the same artist who designed the controversial ad will shortly begin work on a new campaign, saying, “Soon, we'll be introducing more personifications where, for example, you'll see Jesus making a contribution to environmental issues.”

This is so awesome! I look forward to other Christian churches depicting the Virgin Mary sporting facial hair and a ginormous penis. Maybe a really woke church could make an ad with the Father, Son and Holy Ghost portrayed as pangender transvestites. How cool would that be? Probably drive an increase in Sunday School attendance.

The possibilities are endless. Think of what could be done with Adam, Eve, Caen, Abel, Noah, etc., etc. And these kind of hip, progressive ads aren’t limited to Biblical characters and deities. George Washington could be recast as a non-binary, bisexual, mulatto. Abraham Lincoln could be shown to be a cross-dressing, two-headed paedophile with a prominent labia.  

The newer, woker, Jesus would not only “make contributions to environmental issues,” but could be pictured on the streets of New York, handing out fines to those who “misgender” others or are caught not wearing a facial mask during the current pandemic.

Sunday, September 27, 2020

Education, Minority Rule, And Civil War


Recently, someone asked me: “How do we end systematic educational institutional propaganda and lying?” To which I replied, “We must defund them. Entirely. And abolish the NEA. Privatize, etc.” However, I added that “No one has the cojones to do that. And, if they did, more cities would burn, of course.”

The unacknowledged fact is that is how the left manages to rule the country as a minority. That’s right, we currently, effectively, have minority rule in the United States of America. Believe there are only two genders? Get ready to be mocked, ridiculed, fired from your job. Don’t want to bake a cake for a gay wedding? Say good-bye to your private business. Publicly say “All Lives Matter?” I’ll pray for you. The left simply threatens violence to get what it wants…and if anyone dares to defend themselves or fight back, they are promptly deemed radical right-wing extremists who are prone to violence. The left routinely threatens to burn down cities, rough people up in restaurants, or shut down major highways to keep the majority cowed. And it works much more often than not. That is inarguable at this point. “Vote for Biden or there will be no peace.” Reza Aslan, formerly of CNN, tweets: “If they even try to replace RBG we burn the entire f-cking thing down.” That is the mother of all quid pro quos “We offer you the possibility of normalcy, peace, and safety…if you vote the way we want you to.”

Universities are literally churning out cadres of America-hating morons who think they know better than the Founders what kind of government is best but who can’t name the three branches of their own government, let alone explain the significance of, say, the Magna Carta, John Locke, or Adam Smith. All they can do is tear down. They have no clue how to build anything. Nor any desire to do so. The universities now act as if they were the pods in the movie “Invasion of the Body Snatchers,” except they only replicate minds, not bodies. Everyone must think the same. Diversity of race, ethnicity, sex and gender is all well and good, but not of free will and independent thought, the very things that make us human. The very things universities were instituted to engender.

The non-never-Trumpers among us need to channel our inner Founder. Or act in accordance with the heroes on Flight 93. Because it is becoming increasingly clear that our choice will soon be between permanent servility and hopelessness or Civil War. We must stand our ground now, whatever the cost, or risk ceding the country forever.

Sadly, those are our only choices.


Saturday, September 26, 2020

First Biden-Trump Debate: Hear It Here First, Now!


First Biden-Trump Debate

Tuesday, September 29, 2020

9-10:30 PM ET

Cleveland, Ohio

Case Western Reserve University

Chris Wallace Moderator


Wallace: Good evening all, and welcome to the first 2020 presidential debate between the incumbent and current President of the United States, Donald J. Trump, and the Democratic nominee-- and former Vice-President of the United States-- Joseph R. Biden, Jr. Welcome gentlemen.

Trump: Yes. And you know I only ‘sort of’ prepared for this debate, Chris. And even that was probably too much.

Biden: Thank you Chris, and might I say I’ve always liked your show, ‘180 degrees with Brian Stelter.’ MSNBC is a great network!

Wallace: Actually, that’s neither my show nor my network. Anyway, let’s get started. Mr. Trump, how do you pronounce ‘Thailand?’ (Stifles a giggle.)

Trump: Really? What the hell? Thighland? That’s my first question? Thighland? I’m done here. (Starts walking off stage.)

Wallace: No! Mr. president, please don’t leave! We haven’t even started yet!

Trump: (Comes back.) All right. I’ll be bigger than you are, Mr. Poopy Pants. Shouldn’t be hard to do.

Wallace: Mr. Biden, it is so good of you to appear here with us tonight, given the fact that so many members of the vast right-wing conspiracy have wrongly questioned your cognitive abilities. What would you like to say to those people tonight, sir?

Biden: Come on, man! Are you on crack? I mean, are those idiots junkies? There’s nothing wrong with my…you know…I’m…my mental fill, uh..bidness, I mean fitness. It’s my opponent, President…uh…Lincoln Project…Bush…Trump that’s got the old bats in the belfry issue, right? (Smiles broadly, proudly showing off white teeth.) Hell, I’ve recently been endorsed by the Satanic Temple, for God’s sake!

Wallace: Mr. president, what would you tell all the Democratic mayors and governors whose cities and states have been decimated by your incompetence in dealing with the coronavirus and are now burning do to the division you have sown?

Trump: Are you kidding me? Frankly, I should be added to Mount Rushmore just from dealing with the likes of you! FAKE NEWS! Democrats have had control of these places for years—decades mostly. And then they want to blame me. Incredible. I would tell them to get tough with these criminals that are destroying their cities and—

Wallace: So anyway, Mr. Biden…back to you, sir. I know that you are in favor of protecting our planet…the only one we have and that we all live on. If you were to become president, would you enact some version of the ‘Green New Deal?’ And would you re-commit the U.S. to the Paris Climate Accord that your opponent here…Mr. Trump…reneged on?

Biden: I would, yes. I’m getting a hell of a lot of pressure from the young broads in the party…I think they call them the squids or the squad or something… so I’d better promise to do just that if I want to be the next Senator from…excuse me, president of the United States of America. ‘Black Lives Matter!’ (Extends his arm and fist in a Black Pride Salute.)

Wallace (looking mildly puzzled): President Trump, given that the economy is in the tank and that the coronavirus rages on, how afraid are you that even some of your most racist and sexist supporters might say ‘enough is enough’ and vote for former Vice-President Biden?

Trump:  I engineered the greatest economy in the history of the world—no one had ever seen anything like it—before the Chinese Virus was unleashed upon us. I was responsible for the lowest black…and female…unemployment rates ever recorded in our universe. And, if elected, I will be the first person in history to do it all again! On top of all that, I saved the entire auto industry and made the U.S. energy independent for the very first time ever. EVER! Dumb question, Chris. Very dumb. Even for you.

Wallace: Yeah, sure, Mr. President. (Smirks knowingly.) Explain to the American people, if indeed you can, why you are abandoning NATO, bailing out of Syria, disrespecting Iran, and yet are kissing up to North Korea and Russia, while needlessly provoking China.

Trump: Wallace, you are a pathetic has-been. And your network is going to hell in a handbasket…not all of them, mind you, there are some very good people like Hannity on there… but you, you’re a vicious little non-viable tissue mass who shouldn’t be allowed near a microphone, frankly.

Wallace: Alrighty then. Mr. Biden, if you are elected, what will you do about global warming and climate change. I assume, unlike the president, you will do something?

Biden: Absolutely, Brian! A Harris-Biden administration will see to fewer fires, floods and hurricanes! If Harris-Biden is elected, the seas will stop rising! The arctic will stop melting! And, uh…I mean…you know…it’s like…the kids, you know, the kids! It’s all about the kids, Jim. And that’s all I’m gonna say on that.

Wallace: President Trump, you recently nominated Amy Coney Barrett to replace the legendary ‘RBG’ as Supreme Court Justice. Many are saying that she is a hyper-religious wacko who wants to erase the boundary between church and state. How would you answer those charges?

Trump: That’s just a flat-out lie, Chris. And, by the way, it’s the people who worship in the church of progressivism—or ‘wokeism’—that are the most biased and intolerant and who are demanding that secularism/leftism/socialism…whatever you want to call it… become the official religion of the United States.

Wallace: Okay, Mr. Biden, your thoughts on the nomination of Amy Coney Barrett, sir?

Biden: Well, she’s only been a congresswoman for a short time, but I think she’ll do fine. She’s certainly helped challenge me and advise me on what positions I should take. And she’s young and has nice hair.

Wallace: I think you’re thinking of Democratic New York Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, sir, not Amy Coney Barrett.

Biden: Don’t you think I know that? C’mon man!

Wallace: This will be the last question of the night. Trumpty-Dumpty, will you leave office peacefully when you lose to Joseph Robinette Biden, Jr. on November 3rd…or in the weeks to follow?




Friday, September 25, 2020

MSNBC Interviews 10-Year-Old About Ruth Bader Ginsburg

              MSNBC recently interviewed a 10-year-old girl named Alana to get her thoughts on the legacy of the late Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. The MSNBC reporter asked Alana how she felt about the death of the longtime Supreme Court Justice. She replied, “This is going to be the beginning of an absolute nightmare because she is no longer here to help the world.” To help the world. Lord help us. Can you say “brainwashed?”

              The intrepid journalist, who had previously asked Alana’s 13-year-old brother basically the same question, thanked them both for their time and noted that he had been talking to people paying tribute to Ginsburg all morning “as a trailblazer, an icon, a defender of human rights, women’s rights, and a defender of liberal ideals, a protector of progressive policies.” What about “champion of the oppressed and defender of truth, justice, and the American way?”

              MSNBC loves interviewing young girls to get their opinions on matters of great import and/or interest to progressives. Whether it’s Greta Thunberg lecturing on the Earth’s climate or Alana expounding on the virtues of a now-deceased Supreme Court justice, the channel is all in on the opinions of precocious and even pre-pubescent girls. In fact, according to an unimpeachable anonymous source, the channel is planning a first-of-its-kind series of interviews of this type in the near future. The source tells me that MSNBC will soon query a four-year-old girl as to her thoughts on the Electoral College, a five-year-old on the pros and cons of a bicameral legislature, a six-year-old on the advantages of proportional representation, a seven-year-old on the 1973 Roe v. Wade ruling, an eight-year-old on the Lincoln-Douglas debates, and a nine-year-old on the intricacies of the Kama Sutra.


Thursday, September 24, 2020

Flip, Flop And Lie


Both Democrats and Republicans have clearly flip-flopped as regards their position on trying to fill a Supreme Court vacancy in the few weeks or months prior to a presidential election. Neither appears chagrinned at the obvious hypocrisy. Here are some quotes illustrating other, lesser known issues on which they have recently changed sides.


Republicans in 2012: “Great taste…but filling as hell!”

Democrats in 2012: “Less filling…but the taste sucks!”

Republicans in 2020: “Less filling…but the taste sucks!”

Democrats in 2020: “Great taste…but filling as hell!”


Republicans in 2012: “Two plus two…could theoretically equal five.”

Democrats in 2012: “Two plus two equals four. Period.”

Republicans in 2020: “Two plus two equals four. Period.”

Democrats in 2020: “Two plus two…could theoretically equal five.”


Democrats in 2016: “The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone.”

Republicans in 2016: “The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a white zone.”

Democrats in 2020: “The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a white zone.”

Republicans in 2020: “The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone.”


Democrats in 2016: “Mary Ann was clearly more attractive than Ginger.”

Republicans in 2016: “Ginger was clearly more attractive than Mary Ann.”

Democrats in 2020: “Ginger was clearly more attractive than Mary Ann.”

Republicans in 2020: “Mary Ann was clearly more attractive than Ginger.”



Wednesday, September 23, 2020

StudyFinds Study Finds Studies Usually Wrong


               A shocking new study found that most studies are…wrong. The study, conducted of a staggering 31,987 previous studies from various sources and on various topics, found that fully 96% of studies yield inaccurate, incorrect or outright false results and conclusions. Another 3% yielded results that were inconclusive, confusing or unprovable one way or the other. Less than 1 % were found to be “largely on the up and up and accurate.” Seven produced no results whatsoever, probably due to the fact all seven lacked a title, abstract, introduction, review, and were utterly devoid of methodology, discussion, acknowledgement or references.

              A spokesperson stated, on the condition of anonymity, “Frankly, in this era of hyper-politicization, most studies are funded by special interest groups…or George Soros. And they will lavish money—or 'special' favors-- on those conducting the studies. So, for example, if they want to 'prove' that El Nino is caused by white privilege, then that is what their studies will find. So-called 'scientists' and 'experts' are just as fond of money, drugs and getting laid as anyone else. So, realistically, we shouldn’t be too surprised at what this study found.”

Tuesday, September 22, 2020

Signs Of The Times


We are far along on our March to Madness. This can be seen in the ubiquity of meaningless gestures and vapid platitudes permeating our once great republic.

This may have all started with “Visualize World Peace” bumper stickers. Eventually there was nary a Prius, Volvo or Honda Element that wasn’t proudly and urgently imploring us all to “COEXIST.” With who and/or what exactly? Rapists? Arsonists? COVID-19? Hemorrhoids? Ironically, it turns out that the drivers of these vehicles are many times more likely to scream in the face of those with whom they disagree than are the drivers of, say, a bare-bumpered Ford Explorer or Chevy Silverado. But I digress.

The most ridiculous message I’ve ever seen on a bumper sticker was one that was fairly common a number of years ago: “YOU CAN’T HUG YOUR KIDS WITH NUCLEAR ARMS.” Really? You don’t say?! This sticker implies that most who read it either don’t actually realize that they can’t hug their kids with nuclear weapons or that they don’t care about kids as much as the owner of the car bearing the sticker does. Else there would be no need for their “wisdom” to be so broadly shared in this manner. And this to try to make themselves look and feel superior? Talk about a non-sequitur! In my opinion, the only proper response to “YOU CAN’T HUG YOUR KIDS WITH NUCLEAR ARMS” would be “YOU CAN’T CHANGE YOUR KID’S DIAPER WITH A FIRE HYDRANT EITHER, BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN THEY AREN’T VITALLY IMPORTANT, EINSTEIN!”

Today, in many areas of the country, we are subject to a dismayingly large number of house or lawn signs condescendingly proclaiming: "IN THIS HOUSE, WE BELIEVE: BLACK LIVES MATTER; WOMEN'S RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS; NO HUMAN IS ILLEGAL; SCIENCE IS REAL; LOVE IS LOVE; KINDNESS IS EVERYTHING." This takes inanity and hollow virtue-signaling to a new and disturbing level. These signs are easily translated: “WE BELIEVE WE ARE BETTER THAN OTHERS OR AT LEAST WISH TO APPEAR S0.” They are the opposite of inclusive, welcoming and egalitarian. They are, in a sense, “hate speech,” marginalizing and filled with imbecilic microaggressions. They insult and denigrate the reader on several levels, in a childishly moronic attempt to make the purveyor of the messages feel holier-than-thou. What is the person reading these signs supposed to think? “That’s funny, I don’t care for people of color or women…or any humans, really. Science isn’t real, love is hate and kindness sucks.” Or perhaps, “You know what, now that I’ve seen this sign, I fervently believe all those things, too! I have seen the light!”  

This proliferation of empty virtue-signaling has paralleled the proliferation of multiculturalism, identity politics and intersectionalism, all of which have tended to divide us from one another, black from white, women from men, etc., etc. And now, progressive proselytizers seek to demonize the rest of us. This has dire ramifications, for, as Lincoln said, “A house divided against itself cannot stand.”

What is a patriot to do?

Oh well.



Monday, September 21, 2020

CNN Fact Checks FDR's First Inaugural Speech


CNN Fact Checks FDR’s First Inaugural Speech (Given March 4, 1933)

”The only thing we have to fear…is fear itself”—FALSE.

The president was clearly lying to the American people. He was hiding the truth so as not to sow panic and depression among the citizens. This showed a lack of trust in those he represented and could well have led Americans to doubt anything he ever said thereafter. The nation he led was in the throes of the Great Depression and between two world wars at the time. Apart from all that, we have, in fact, a great many other things to fear, including, but not limited to: death, disease, racism, sexism, homophobia, irritable bowel syndrome, poverty, addiction, tornadoes, floods, hurricanes, acne, tooth decay, cancer, heart disease, high blood pressure, low blood sugar, anemia, polio, uncontrolled flatulence, terrorism, large hail and damaging winds, crop disease, erectile disfunction, drought, scurvy, plane crashes, stock market crashes, unemployment, high interest rates, saturated fats, getting into an accident while wearing dirty underwear, bee stings, male pattern baldness, vaginal dryness, irregular heartbeat, climate change, blizzards, tsunamis, earthquakes, the heartbreak of psoriasis, asteroids, premature aging, Deng fever, arthritis, asthma, termites, spina bifida, bloating, sudden infant death syndrome, habitat loss, sleep apnea, and Dutch elm disease. We must give the president four full Pinocchios for this absurd claim.

Sunday, September 20, 2020

Attacks On Trump To Increase As Election Nears


President Trump has been the victim of numerous unhinged and unverified attacks recently, each one more preposterous and less vetted than the one before. “Anonymous sources” say he secretly loathes the military and thinks those who serve are “pathetic” and “losers.” His deeply troubled, publicity-seeking niece claims he is “fundamentally a racist” and unfit for office. Joe Biden hilariously claimed that Trump was a danger to Israel…during the same week that the president negotiated a historic peace agreement between Israel and Bahrain and days after he negotiated a similar deal between the United Arab Emirates (U.A.E.) and Israel…for which he was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. And the mainstream media hurls smears and lies at the president like a berserk Pez dispenser.

Yet I’m here to tell you: you ain’t seen nothing yet. As we get ever nearer to Election Day, anti-Trumpers will pull out all the stops and accusations will fly with breathtaking rapidity and frequency. What follows is a short list of what you can expect in the coming weeks.

*September 21st: CNN will site anonymous sources in a report claiming Trump once ran while carrying scissors in a fifth-grade art class, needlessly and recklessly endangering lives. Eventually, the anonymous sources will admit that he wasn’t truly running, but proceeding at a slow trot, while emphasizing that his behavior was “inexcusable none-the-less.”

*September 24th: The New York Times will site anonymous sources in a front-page story alleging that Trump once looked only one way before crossing a street, not both ways, in direct contravention of his mother’s express wishes and direction. Days later, another source will surface on Fox News, noting that there was no traffic coming from the other direction because the road was closed, but the rest of the legacy media will refuse to acknowledge the new information.

*September 30th: MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow, hands trembling, breathlessly recounts a story an “anonymous insider close to the Trump family” gave her. Maddow says, “Apparently, when younger, Trump once called a drugstore and asked the clerk who answered if the store had Prince Albert in a can. The clerk said that, yes, the store did have the then popular tobacco product, to which Trump replied, ‘Well, you’d better let him out then, hadn’t you,’ and promptly hung up.

*October 5th: Salon sites highly placed, “unimpeachable” (though anonymous) sources in a story alleging that the president recently killed and ate his son Barron.

*October 13th: The Daily Beast runs a story claiming that, though Trump is a known misogynist, he has a “micro-penis,” and notes how the latter may explain (but not justify) the former.

*October 21st: The Drudge Report harbors a story purporting to show that Trump is secretly a proud, card-carrying member of the Church of Satan.

*October 26th: The Huffington Post runs a story alleging that, while in college, Trump liked to go to restaurants and loosen caps on salt shakers. He found that “funny” according to the report, obtained from anonymous sources.

*November 2nd: The Washington Post runs a front page, above-the-fold story claiming that Trump abuses animals “for kicks.” The story’s anonymous sources allege that a young Trump used to take a magnifying glass outside on hot summer days and burn up ants on the sidewalk. The same sources say he now prefers to pluck individual hairs from the hides of black labs.

*November 3rd: On the morning of election day, NBC breaks the explosive—and damaging-- news that a member of Trump’s cabinet says Trump does not particularly care for the television show “This is Us.” NBC’s president, Noah Oppenheim, says this is clear evidence of Trump’s “hatred for humanity” and his “general unfitness for office,” and notes that Joe Biden claims to be a big fan of the emotional and unifying drama.


Saturday, September 19, 2020

Now Elites Worried A COVID-19 Vaccine Coming Too Quickly


              The lockdown must remain in place until we can be sure hospitals won’t be overwhelmed, “they” told us. Then they said it must remain in place until we flatten the curve. Then they said it might need to stay in force until we can achieve herd immunity. But, of course, there is no way to achieve hard immunity when we are all locked down. So, they told us the lockdown would have to stay in place until a vaccine is found, a process that historically takes anywhere from 18 months to two plus years. And most of us continued to believe “them.”

              Well, the jig is up and the mask is off for any sentient being now. When President Trump said he believed a vaccine will be available in the near future, possibly before the November election, “they” did not jump for joy or express gratitude, amazement or elation. They claimed the announcement was just a political ploy, and that any vaccine that might become available in the near future would be untested, unsafe and ineffective. Trump recently stated that “three vaccines are already in the final stage,” and vowed that a vaccine would be distributed within 24 hours of completion of phase 3 trials and FDA approval. He vowed that all Americans would have access to the vaccine by April and noted that the vaccines “are going through the gold standard of clinical trials” and that “very heavy emphasis” is “being placed on safety.” Moreover, Dr. Scott Atlas, a member of the White House coronavirus task force, backed up the president’s timeline while noting that it will be up to each individual American to decide if they wish to be vaccinated or not, flatly stating “it’s not a forced vaccination.”

Yet, far from calming the fears of those in power such as big city mayors and state governors, news of an imminent vaccine seems to have frightened them even more. Why? Because they are afraid an effective, readily available vaccine would soon lead Americans to demand the removal of the “extra-Constitutional” (meaning unconstitutional) power they have wielded over them for the past six months. And that they are loath to do. Additionally, Democrats-- and their sycophants and co-conspirators in Big Tech, Big Media and Big Academia-- are scared excrementless that a viable vaccine prior to Election Day would pave the way for The Bad Orange Man to be reelected, thereby at least temporarily foiling their plans to turn the United States into a Marxist utopia like Venezuela, Cuba or North Korea.

Friday, September 18, 2020

The Burger King And Ronald McDonald Share A Kiss


              Burger King Finland has launched an ad campaign depicting the Burger King and long-time rival Ronald McDonald sharing a passionate kiss in a Pride-themed ad titled “Love Conquers All” honoring Finland’s Pride Week. The fast food giant’s Finland brand manager, Kaisa Kasila, recently told Adweek, “Burger King has always stood for equality, love, and everyone’s right to be just the way they are. The only instance where it might not seem so is when we’re bantering with our competition. We thought, what better way to convey our values than by portraying an all-encompassing kiss between Burger King and McDonald. We wanted to show that in the end, love always wins. And we know McDonald’s stands for the values we stand for, too.”

              I’m not sure how they know that, nor am I sure I want to know.

              The ad prompted Fernando Machado, global chief marketing officer for Restaurant Brands International (RBI)— Burger King’s parent/holding company—to post a now-viral tweet stating: “Proud to see Burger King Finland as the official partner of The Helsinki Pride. Even more proud of our 100% Corporate Equality Index. Congrats to Kaisa from the BK Finland team for such a beautiful execution.” Machado also told Adweek that the “Impossible Kiss” was an illustration that love does, indeed, conquer all, saying: “Our brand is always bold, edgy, and fun. So showcasing this ‘impossible kiss’ is a way to demonstrate that love conquers all. And we hope that ‘the other guys’ understand that it is actually a celebration of love rather than a competitive statement.”

              So “bold!” So “edgy!” So “fun!” So Proud! Get the reference to the “Impossible Kiss?” If a burger can be made out of vegetable matter, than surely the long-time representatives of two behemoth, if rival, fast food chains can suck face. Since we all share the same values, what could be better than an “all-encompassing kiss” between two same-sex rival mascots? I know, what if Tony the Tiger, Toucan Sam, and Count Chocula got it on in a series of sexy three-way cereal ads? How awesome and inclusive would that be?! Love is love! Or maybe Colonel Sanders and the Hamburglar could give each other “Impossible Hand-Jobs” while an appreciative and tolerant nation watched with growing Pride…and hunger!

Thursday, September 17, 2020

Speaker Pelosi Calls Middle East Peace Deals A "Distraction"

              When President Trump was elected, many “experts” claimed the Middle East would become even less stable. When he recognized Jerusalem as Israel’s capital and moved the U.S. embassy there, experts and observers warned that the region would literally blow up.

              Instead, he fostered historic peace agreements between Israel and the United Arab Emirates (U.A.E.), and, shortly thereafter, between Israel and Bahrain, and has since been twice-nominated for a Nobel peace Prize. The historically tense and violent region today stands more peaceful and stable than perhaps at any time in memory.

             And this, apparently, does not sit well with Democrats and never-Trumpers. The Atlantic’s Graeme Wood was so offended by the Nobel nomination that he called for the abolishment of the Nobel Prize. Wood said that Trump’s nomination struck him as “preposterous.” He wrote: Trolls are a Scandinavian invention, straight from the frigid sagas of Norse mythology, but Christian Tybring-Gjedde, a Norwegian parliamentarian, swears that he is not one. Observers of his antics this week could be forgiven for thinking otherwise. On Wednesday, he announced that he had nominated Donald J. Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize.”

            Snarky, childish, and idiotic.

            CNN’s Wolf Blitzer recently asked the Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, “How much credit do you give the President of the United States for these peace agreements?” She responded, “So, good for him for having a distraction on a day when the numbers of people who are affected and the numbers of people who are dying from this virus only increases.”

            “Good for him for having a distraction?!” A “distraction?!”

            No, Nancy Nonsense, a distraction is when you get caught flouting your own social distancing rules-- or when you publicly rip up a copy of the president’s State of the Union speech. Peace deals ushering in full normalization of diplomatic relations between Israel and multiple Arab nations are significant accomplishments

            But you wouldn’t know anything about that.



Wednesday, September 16, 2020

Minnesota Vikings And The NFL: Ready For Some Virtue-Signaling!

During their home opener against the Green Bay Packers Sunday, the Minnesota Vikings recognized the family of George Floyd, and strove to bring awareness to issues of social justice. Floyd’s family was inside U.S. bank Stadium during the recognition, despite the fact that no fans were allowed to attend the game. Players wore t-shirts that read "Be the Change" on the front during pregame warmups and had the names of people who have been killed by alleged acts of racism or police brutality on the back. Players’ helmets and coaches' hats sported decals and patches touting “social justice-related messages.” The stadium’s end zones trumpeted the messages "It Takes All of Us" and "End Racism." 
What a unique idea! How brave, outré, courageous! Nothing parroted, trite or stale here! Cutting edge, pushing the envelope stuff! What’s next, will they boldly attempt to condemn the Nazis? The abuse of animals? Abortion? Oops, sorry, had to put that last one in there for humor.
The same could be said for any professional sports team, and many college and amateur ones as well, but it’s football season and Minnesota is the state where I was born and grew up so I am singling the Vikings out. Moreover, Minneapolis is wildly liberal—and, not coincidentally-- where the current insanity all started. Maybe the Vikings were worried that the mostly peaceful rioters would burn down U.S. Bank Stadium like they have much of the rest of the city if they didn’t take a knee in their direction.
Ironically, the actual Vikings were fierce white Scandinavian raiders, pillagers, plunderers and marauders. The NFL team shamelessly appropriated the term 60 years ago, in a far less feckless and feminine era. I am surprised progressives haven’t demanded the team change its name to something less offensive, such as the Minnesota Moderates or the Minnesota Nice.

Tuesday, September 15, 2020

L.A. Public Health Director Says Schools May Reopen After The Election

              Los Angeles’ KFI Radio AM 1640 has obtained an audio recording of Los Angeles County Public Health Director Dr. Barbara Ferrer repeatedly saying during a conference call that she doesn’t expect K-12 schools to reopen until “we are done with the election” in November. Think about that. She didn’t say that the schools might open around Halloween or in early November or “late this year.” She explicitly referenced the election as the marker for kids to return to school. Yes, she believes getting past the election would be the trigger for ceasing to dramatically upend people’s lives. Imagine that. What possible relevance does the presidential election have to schools’ response to the ongoing worldwide pandemic?
              Teacher’s unions, in harmony with the mainstream media, the “entertainment” industry, and Big Tech-- among other entities-- are blatantly using the school shutdowns as a cudgel to beat Trump with, as if somehow they were his fault. Should Biden win, you can be certain that the media will gleefully and endlessly run stories of students around the country heading back to school in a “glorious return to normalcy” starting the day after his victory is certified.
              Anyone who still clings to the belief that the education establishment has their—and their kids’—best interest in mind has now officially been schooled.

Monday, September 14, 2020

Joe Biden Recites Great Presidential Speeches Of The Past

Joe Biden Recites Great Presidential Speeches of The Past

              “You know, some say my cogn--, uh, cognormative, um…mental instability…is declining. Well, I’m here today to tell you all that there’s nothing wrong with my head. And to prove it, I’d like to recall some great lines from previous residential…I mean presidential…speeches. No notes, no teleproctor, er teleprompter, just from memory!

To begin with, we must always remember the words of George Jefferson’s Declaration of Interdependence: ‘We hold these truths to be elf-relevant, that all folks are cremated equal, and are endowed by their…you know, the thing… with certain unsustainable rights,  among these are, uh… life, liberty mutual, and the pursuit of, ummm, you know…c’mon man! Uh, ecstasy.’

As George Washington said to his troops in 1873, ‘Gentlemen, you will permit me to don my testicles, since I have grown not only gay, but nearly blind in the service of my, uh, you know, nation.’

Abe Lincoln famously said, on the playing field at Pittsburgh, ‘Four more than seven beers ago our, uh,  parents brought north on this land a new station, deceived and jittery, and medicated to the preposition that all folks are related equally.’

You know it was LBJ who told us, ‘The only thing we have to fear is…the rear itself… and our biggest task is to make people look for work.’

He also said, in dire times just like these, ‘Yesterday, December 11th, 1941—a date which will live on in the infirmary—the United States was rudely and considerably gob-smacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of…uhh, the Empire Strikes Back…no, the Empire State Building…anyway, you know who. C’mon, man!’

Then, old John Kennedy remarked, Ask not what your…ummm…monkey can do for you - ask what you can do for your monkey. Or maybe it was The Beatles. Same thing.’

Of course, he also inspired us when she said: ‘Let every nation know, whether it has wishing wells or rice, that we will burden any bears, meet any battleship, support any fiend, and oppose any toe in defense of fiefdom.’

What’s more, he challenged us in space, saying: ‘We choose to go to Venus in this decade and do, you know, the other things, not because they are easy-peasy, but because they are damned hard…those who came before us made certain that this, uh, country, strode the first waves of the, uh, French Revolution, the first waves of modern intentions and the first wave of nuclear flowers. And this new generation does not intend to flounder in the backwash of the…Age of Aquarius…they mean to beat it and uh…whatever.’

And I’d like to close by recounting a couple of President Donald Reagan’s speeches. You know, when the space shuttle blew up, he honored it by stating: ‘We will never forget the last time we saw ‘em, as they prepared to launch and waved bye-bye and got past the burly bonds of earth to touch the face of, uh…ummm…you know, the thing.

And who can forget when he stood by the English Channel on VD-Day…looking at the former soldiers…and said, ‘These are the joys of pointless shlock…’”


Sunday, September 13, 2020

School District Suspends Student For Attempting To Come To School


Officials at William Floyd High School in New York recently hit Maverick Stow, a 17-year-old student, with a five-day suspension for coming to school on a Tuesday in early September, a “designated remote learning day” for Stow. The school district said that Stow believed he should attend school in-person five days a week, not four. That’s right, Stow was suspended for not skipping school.

To make matters worse, the student-criminal returned to school on the Wednesday and Thursday following his suspension and was promptly arrested by the Suffolk County Police Department for unlawfully entering school grounds. Though the district said it agrees with Stow’s view that in-person instruction should take place five days a week, it also said it was required to follow state social distancing regulations and labeled his actions as “irresponsible and selfish behavior.” And a “publicity stunt.” Huh? State social distancing regulations allow students to attend school “in-person” four days a week but not five? Do the powers that be think trimming the number of students allowed on campus by 20% makes all the difference?  

Apparently. The district noted, "We are still in the midst of a pandemic and will abide by the regulations set in place by our government and health officials designed to keep our students and staff safe. As we have said, Mr. Stow's rights as a student do not surpass the rights of any of our other 8,799 students; they should not have to come to school to witness this circus atmosphere each day." Circus atmosphere? The students that have come to school should not have to witness the “circus atmosphere” created by…a student attempting to come to school?

The school district issued a statement reading: "If Mr. Stow continues to try to access school grounds each day that we are open, we will close the high school - and its approximately 3,000 students - to all in-person learning and it will be all virtual for the foreseeable future. We will not condone or allow students to flagrantly break the law in our schools.” By attending them each day. Alrighty then. Students used to be punished for not coming to school. In days of yore that was called truancy. Now everything is bass-ackward, and truth is punished more often than truancy. District officials threaten to close the school and sentence all 3,000 of its students to virtual home detention because one student wishes to attend it five days a week? That just proves they have no class. Virtual or otherwise.

Maybe the aptly named “Maverick” should have simply claimed he was “protesting”…which in a sense he was. After all, officials don’t label rioters’ actions as “irresponsible and selfish behavior,” or as “publicity stunts.” Nor do they claim protesters create a “circus atmosphere.” And they typically don’t arrest them, either.



Saturday, September 12, 2020

Trump Vs. Biden Press Conferences


President Trump Press Conference Questions

September, 2020


CNN correspondent: “Mr. President, multiple anonymous sources have reported that you killed and ate your son Barrow. How long had you been planning to do this? Was Melania complicit in this despicable crime? And will this force you to do the right thing for once and resign your presidency and drop out of the 2020 race?”

MSNBC reporter: “Mr. President, in light of the fact that you think anyone who serves in America’s military is a “sucker” and a “loser,” how can you claim to hold police officers in high regard? What is the difference in your twisted mind between those who serve primarily abroad and those who do so at home? And, a follow-up question if I may, will this force you to resign your presidency and drop out of the 2020 race?”

CBS reporter: “Mr. President, your hatred for peoples of color has been widely and irrefutably reported, by unbiased and unimpeachable sources. So let me ask you this: as a white supremacist, do you believe all black people like fried chicken and watermelon?”

NBC reporter: “Mr. President, since you destroyed the American economy and fomented riots in the streets of her cities, all while blaming China, BLM and Antifa for what is clearly your responsibility-- and yours alone—I just wonder, how do you sleep at night, sir?”

New York Times columnist: “Sir, and I use that term loosely, no credible person doubts the existence of man-caused global warming. Everyone from Greta Thunberg to Brad Pitt to Michael Moore to Taylor Swift knows that we are about to cause the Earth to spontaneously combust. Of course, you disagree. Can you tell us if your disdain for our planet is really a reflection of your secret disgust with yourself?”



Joe Biden Press Conference Questions

September, 2020


CNN Correspondent: “Mr. Biden, are you willing to promise the American people that, should you become president, you won’t kill and eat your son Hunter?”

MSNBC reporter: “Mr. Biden, you have spoken—and ever so eloquently I might add-- in the past about your genuine, deep and abiding love for America’s troops. Would you please share with us now what you think of President Trump’s callous and unconscionable remarks? I thank you in advance for sharing your innermost thoughts with us.”

CBS reporter: “Mr. Biden, you worked closely with an African-American president. In light of that, how offended and repulsed are you by President Trump’s overt racism?”

NBC reporter: “Mr. Biden, I want to publicly commend you for always taking the high road. However, and I don’t mean to ask a harsh question, but how are you able to keep from appearing violently angry over the numerous idiotic and hateful things the president says on a daily basis?”

New York Times columnist: “Mr. Biden, as you well know, all of us in the mainstream media work selflessly, tirelessly and around the clock to provide the citizens of the United States with absolutely unbiased and factual information for their own benefit and edification. Does it not piss you off big time when Trump labels us ‘fake news?’”





Friday, September 11, 2020

CNN Remembers: 9/11

CNN Remembers: 9/11 20 Years After, A Special Report

By Chester E. Jakoff and Carla Marx, CNN

Clock Updated 11:11 AM ET, Saturday September 11, 2021

(CNN)- Who among us doesn’t recall the mostly peaceful events of that beautiful Tuesday morning 20 years ago when some people, labeled “insurgents” by those on the far right, did some things? Nineteen Middle Easterners from mostly upstanding and respected families, some including austere religious leaders, became so frustrated at the blatant and continual xenophobic, transphobic, Islamophobic, and homophobic behavior of the United States that they finally lashed out a bit, and inappropriately at that. Thankfully, the irritated “insurgents” were only successful in hijacking and directing three out of four airliners or the resulting damage could have been worse. Sadly, the Suburban Cowboy, then President George W. Bush, overreacted to the mayhem and put the U.S. on an ugly and vicious path of retribution and revenge, one which lasted until President Barack Obama (praise and peace be forever upon him) wisely steered the nation toward a path of peace and harmony with all. Unfortunately, the progress made by the Obama administration has been all but obliterated by President Trump and Vice-President Pence, who have courted and fomented violence at home and abroad, and the nation tragically finds itself more divided than ever. Let us all hope that the nascent Biden administration can now bring us all together, heal our wounds, and save the union.