Thursday, November 12, 2015

Oklahoma Now Number One In Earthquakes

                 According to news reports, Oklahoma is now the world’s number 1 earthquake area. Oklahoma Corporation Commissioner (OCC) spokesman Matt Skinner claimed that, “We’ve had 15 earthquakes in Medford since 5 a.m. Saturday. We’ve got an earthquake issue.” He also said that the world is going through a seismic “phase.” Well, we all go through phases, but this is probably an order of magnitude, so to speak, greater than my “blonde phase” or “brunette phase.”
                Jim Palmer (not the Oriole’s pitching great),  the OCC’s director of public information and manager of consumer education, stated that while there are other parts of the world experiencing enormous numbers of earthquakes, “In North America, Oklahoma is very unique and unique in the world, in the sense that it’s concentrated so much in just one area.”
                Already the tornado capital of the world, it hardly seems fair that the state is now considered by some as #1 in earthquakes, too. Truly, the state enjoys an embarrassment of riches.
                Surely the state’s tourism bureau can make hay out of this phenomenon. No more dull, bland slogans like the one that was on the state’s automotive license plates for years, “Oklahoma is OK.” I mean, who came up with that? I hope they weren’t paid for their ‘efforts.’
                I am hereby offering up- gratis, mind you- several much livelier slogans for the state to use going forward:

*”Oklahoma…get swept away!”
*”Oklahoma…feel the earth move under your feet!”
*”Oklahoma: come for the twisters, stay for the ‘quakes!”

                OK, you're welcome.

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