Friday, June 30, 2017

Filmmaker Joss Whedon Wants Paul Ryan F**ked To Death By Rhino

                Filmmaker, longtime Democratic Party contributor- and inveterate scamp- Joss Whedon recently tweeted: “Violence solves nothing. I want a rhino to f**k @SpeakerRyan to death with its horn because it’s FUNNY, not because he’s a #GOPmurderbro.” Say what?!
                Violence solves nothing, but you want Speaker Ryan anally-gored to death for the sheer humor of it?! This is pure evil willingly unveiled, the mother of all inanities. “#GOPmurderbro?!” Your party is the one that has made genocide a sacred fixture of its platform via its support of unfettered abortion. It was just days ago, you satanic lout, that a Democratic Party zealot attempted to indiscriminately murder as many Republicans as possible…actions which were actually cheered by some on the left.
                Whedon launched an anti-Trump political “public service announcement” featuring the stars of his Avengers movies shortly before the November, 2016 election. The PSA, featuring Robert Downey Jr., Scarlett Johansson, Mark Ruffalo, Don Cheadle, and a host of other celebrity morons and ignoramuses, was eventually viewed more than eight million times, making it arguably the most widely-shared political advertisement of the 2016 election season. He recently savaged Nicole Kidman after she said the country should unite in support of President Trump. After Trump’s surprising victory over Hillary Clinton, the Hollywood bigwig tweeted that Trump could “not be allowed” to serve his first term in office, and compared him to Adolf Hitler, while encouraging Clinton’s supporters to keep protesting in the streets.
                #DemocratrealmurderbroWhedon, it would be kind of ironic- and hysterically FUNNY- if a R.I.N.O. like Paul Ryan turned the tables on you, wouldn’t it?!

                You know how it is with Avengers.

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Tim Tebow Mocked During Minor League Baseball Game

                The Charleston River Dogs minor league baseball organization mocked Columbia Fireflies outfielder Tim Tebow’s Christian faith during a recent series. The former NFL quarterback is still a big draw at the gate, and his popularity helped the River Dogs sell out all three games of the series. The team repaid him by playing the “Hallelujah Chorus” each time Tebow came to the plate, and by sending out their mascot wearing eye black featuring a Biblical reference to John 3:16. On at least one occasion, the mascot even got down on one knee to pray, an action that become known as “Tebowing” after the former college and professional football player who often took a moment to give thanks.
                This, however, was not enough to satisfy the Charleston squad. The River Dogs also put up text on the massive video screen reading “Not Tim Tebow” every time a Fireflies batter other than Tebow came to the plate. And they projected a photo of Tebow crying after his Florida Gator team lost to Alabama in the 2009 Southeastern Conference (SEC) Championship game next to the photo of every one of his teammates as they batted.
                Even the play-by-play announcer was in on the “fun.” According to the Charleston Post and Courier, he urged the audience to applaud whenever a strike was called against Tebow.
                The River Dogs general manager, Dave Echols, admitted that the team received much criticism for the ambush on Tebow, and later apologized for the team’s behavior. He told the Post and Courier: “While we believe that our promotions were poking fun at Mr. Tebow’s celebrity status rather than his religion or baseball career, our intent was not to offend anyone, and for the fact that we did offend, we are sorry.”
                Call me a skeptic, but I’m virtually certain the River Dogs wouldn’t have thought mocking a Muslim player’s religion was a fantastic “promotional” idea. Would they have taunted a transgender or laughed at a lesbian?
 Anti-Christian bias is mounting around the world. In the Middle East and Africa Christians are being murdered in growing numbers. In Europe, Christian churches sit empty. In the United States, Hollywood, the mainstream media, progressives in general- and now minor league baseball teams- all entities that wouldn’t dream of insulting other groups, routinely target Christians for sport.
The sheer lunacy, hypocrisy and viciousness of the left has never been more obvious. We have seen campuses segregating graduations, and calling for “A Day Without White People.” A few on the left have absurdly called Christianity “a cover for white supremacy.”
Insanity? Men are now welcome in women’s bathrooms and locker rooms, and vice versa. You can be any gender you want- and there are 60-some of them and counting- and if others so much as giggle about that they can be accused of hate speech. But it won’t be long until schools will be demanding “A Day Without Christians,” and the likes of Tim Tebow won’t be welcome in any public restroom or locker room.
(Tim Tebow was recently promoted to “High A” baseball. He is now with the St. Lucie Mets.
He hit a home-run in his first at bat with the team).


Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Mattel Introducing Fifteen New Ken Dolls!

              Mattel is introducing 15 new “Ken” dolls, to take their place alongside the more famous “Barbie” dolls, who experienced their own makeovers more than a year ago. Or to take their place alongside other Ken dolls, of course, wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
 The reason for the introduction of the new Ken dolls is the same as it was for the revamping of the Barbie figures: to make the toys more appealing to today’s kids, awash in a swelling sea of diversity. There will be new skin tones, body shapes and hair styles available, as well as updated apparel and accessory choices.
Mattel says Ken will now be available with cornrow and “man bun” hairstyles. Sadly, however, I am not privy to all of the exciting options as of this writing, but I am free to speculate excitedly! One would hope that other hair options would include a mohawk, afro, ponytail, bouffant…and none at all, for that “skinhead” look so popular with certain European soccer fans.
Ken used to be a uniformly chiseled figure, but I’m pretty sure Ken will now be available in everything from “emaciated” to “morbidly obese.” This is a wonderful breakthrough. Here’s hoping the flabbier Kens will come sporting “man boobs.”
And one can easily imagine the vast array of tattoos and piercings that will soon be available to adorn our modern Barbie and Ken dolls! Yeah, baby! That’s what I’m talkin’ about! I can’t wait to see little Jacks and Jackies looking for just the right spot to place a cat tattoo, nipple clamp or penis ring!
Ken should now have the option to don a hooded sweatshirt, toga, sari, taqiyah or thobe in addition to a nearly limitless variety of footwear!  I strongly suggest Mattel make all parts and accessories interchangeable on a unisex torso. This would make for a nearly limitless number of looks, and take doll inclusivity and diversity to a completely new level! Either Ken or Barbie could sport one Ken leg and one Barbie leg, for example. One Ken breast and one Barbie breast, one blue eye and one black one, etc., etc. With snap on apparel, accessories and genitalia, all (doll) things are possible! It would be we- homo sapiens sapiens- that would be jealous, would it not? Talk about transforming!
Finally, dear readers, let’s take a look at some potential new versions of the formerly boring, bourgeois Ken doll, shall we? I suggest the following for starters:
1)      Comedian Ken- would come with props such as a severed head look-alike of a current president. Would appear aggrieved if people didn’t think he was funny, but also be unable to shed actual tears. No matter how hard he tried.
2)      ISIS Ken- would sport a strap-on bomb vest and a machine gun and be able to say “Allahu Akbar!” while making sure Barbie was fully clothed.
3)      “Kenneth” would wear a floral print belted blazer, a scarf tie to die for, and mandals…while looking fabulous bitching to Butch Barbie about Trump’s latest outrage.

The possibilities are endless in this brave new world. Mattel says all of the modernized Kens will be available in time for the holidays.    

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

American Colleges Engaging In Graduation Apartheid

                 Harvard held a special “Latin X” ceremony for its graduating Latino students. Columbia University hosted a separate commencement ceremony for students who were the first in their families to earn a degree. And the University of Delaware so wanted people to be well aware of its lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender graduating students that it offered them a special “Lavender” ceremony, too.
                This puts a chill into the old “melting pot,” doesn’t it?
                Out of one…many?! Screw assimilation, bring on balkanization! Funny, the left attributes Islamic terror in large part to the fact that the West hasn’t done enough to assimilate the mostly young, male Muslims in its midst. Now, it is rapidly un-assimilating its own youth! You can’t make it up. (I didn’t use that phrase much in the not-too-distant past…there was no need to. Now, I find myself thinking, saying, or writing it several times a day).
                Where will this new multicultural trend end? Will we hold separate graduating ceremonies for Albanian students? For those who are the first in their families to get a degree in Women’s Studies? Perhaps the glassgendered (“a gender that is very sensitive and fragile;” look it up) deserve their own observance? No, that would be redundant. The omnigendered? Those who were born on a Tuesday? Those who are one-quarter Native American? (Sorry, Elizabeth Warren). What about separate commemorations for high-school Muslims matriculating? Don’t bi-sexual mulattoes named “Pat” deserve their own rites, in their own right? And why are we only celebrating grads? That seems awfully exclusive. Shouldn’t we be equally supportive of those who don’t or can’t finish school? Surely they need their own ceremony.
                One thing is for sure: we won’t be seeing separate ceremonies for college Republicans.
                We are all glassgendered now.


Monday, June 26, 2017

Dennis Rodman Calls Kim Jong Un "A Friendly Guy"

                Former NBA thug Dennis Rodman has returned from another visit to that noted bastion of frivolity, North Korea. Rodman offered up praise for the country, calling it “modernized” and opining that its people are “happy.”
                He stated: “People don’t see the good side about that country.” Rodman went so far as to characterize Kim Jong Un, the Hermit Kingdom’s brutal dictator, as “a friendly guy.”
                “We sing karaoke. It’s all fun. Ride horses, everything.” (What the hell would the 6'7" former NBA thug and the 5'7" brutal dictator be singing, Bette Midler's Wind Beneath My Wings?).
                Rodman admitted that he doesn’t “look at the political side” of Kim Jong Un, and that his visits to the nation are about sports, not politics.
                Calling North Korea “modernized” is quite a stretch in itself, although it is feverishly attempting to modernize its nuclear weapons program. Calling its citizens “happy, ” however, is akin to saying the Jews in Dachau were “content.”
                I doubt the families of those Kim Jong Un has assassinated, a number of whom were torn apart by starving dogs and others blown to smithereens by anti-aircraft gunfire, consider him to be particularly affable.
                If Mr. Rodman were around during World War II, I’m sure he would have returned from visiting the Third Reich touting the gaiety of Adolph Hitler: “We sang, we danced the schottische and the polka, we ate streuselkuche and drank St. Pauli Girl, went to soccer matches…it was a gas, man!”
                “Of course, I wasn’t looking at the political side. I was just there for sports.”
                (National Review’s Rob Long has a page in the bi-weekly magazine titled, “The Long View.” He often uses it to parody a potential Dear Leader twitter account, calling it: “From the Twitter Feed of Kim Jong Un, @youthcaptain.” It is worth the read!)


Sunday, June 25, 2017

Illinois On The Verge Of Bankruptcy

                Illinois is bankrupt. It just hasn’t declared it…yet. Things are so bad in the Prairie State that both S & P and Moody’s downgraded its credit rating to one step above junk status. That is the lowest rating for any state ever. Illinois has seen its credit rating lowered an amazing 12 times since 2009. Moreover, the debt-rating agencies warn that the Land of Lincoln could lose its investment grade entirely if it doesn’t take decisive action to rein in its chronic deficits and runaway spending.
                Illinois is one of only eight states with a diminishing population. Last year alone, 37,508 citizens fled the progressive paradise in search of greener pastures, by far the most of any state. (West Virginia experienced the second largest net population loss, due to coal plant closures caused by President Obama’s “climate change” policies). A 2016 Paul Simon Public Policy Institute poll found that nearly half of Illinois citizens would like to leave the state! The number one reason given for this desire? High taxes.
                The state faces a troubled economy, staggering debt, and, incredibly, a government that has no apparent idea how to extricate itself from its self-inflicted fiscal problems. It owes contractors and suppliers many billions of dollars, and has $140 billion in unfunded liabilities for ridiculously lavish government employee pensions. In fact, Moody’s Investor Service reports that the state’s taxpayers are on the hook for a staggering $251 billion dollars in unfunded public union pension liabilities. On top of all this, Illinois has operated without a budget for three years.
                And things are about to get worse.
                The state’s Democratic-led legislature recently approved a $15-an-hour minimum wage, which will certainly lead to layoffs, business closures, higher unemployment rates (especially for young people), lost tax revenues, and other unpleasant realities. To paraphrase Margaret Thatcher, after many years, Illinois has finally run out of other people’s money. It is time to pay the piper or face doomsday.
                But, the state blithely continues to spend tons of money it doesn’t have, even as its plummeting credit rating has increased the cost of borrowing more cash, which it persists in doing in a pathetically self-defeating attempt to maintain the status quo.  Speaker of the House Mike Madigan, Democratic control freak, wants taxes to be increased, but is against other measures and any real structural reform that might actually prove beneficial.
                Well, there he goes again. He wants to exacerbate the very problem that is driving people to literally leave the state. Unless the Illinois legislature “somehow” finds the courage to reduce taxes and spending, the state will be on track to someday become another Venezuela or Puerto Rico, albeit with slightly better baseball teams.  
                Therefore, I propose that, in the interest of unity, we in the rest of the country dutifully- and immediately- start holding bake sales and selling lemonade from sidewalk stands, and promptly turn over all the incoming revenue earned from those endeavors to the great state of Illinois.
                Furthermore, I believe we need to hold a lengthy telethon, on PBS, to raise money to retire Illinois’ debt. Granted, this may appear futile given that the entire mainstream media is essentially engaged in one eternal telethon to aid and abet Democrats and progressive causes and to try to convince everyone that spending and taxing profligately will someday lead to a utopia on Earth, but we have to do something, right?
And imagine the thrills as the telethon trotted out the likes of Kathy Griffin, Johnny Depp, Madonna, Rahm Emanuel, Elizabeth Warren, et. al., in an all-out blitz to raise enough cash to keep Illinois afloat for another year or two, without forcing it to reduce the rate of increase in its funding of…almost everything. Then, as emotions swell, Barack Obama, a single tear easing its way down his cheek, would stride onto the scene and implore all who were watching- and listening to the simulcast- especially in Washington, D.C., and Hollywood, California, to give all they can to make certain the erstwhile Garden of the West can continue to ignore the Second Amendment, the First Amendment, immigration law, and fundamental principles of sound economic and fiscal policy.
People would be able to bid on everything from bongs to blow jobs, keeping the throngs of volunteers manning the phones (recruited from colleges across the country) busier than Bill Clinton in a sorority house!
Maybe we could even get Jerry Lewis to show up for a few hours. After all, no one knows more about telethons than Jerry Lewis. Jerry once said, “Comedy is a man in trouble. And without it, there’s no humor.”

Illinois is hilarious. 

Saturday, June 24, 2017

"Hate Speech" Or Hate Speech?

                In today’s world, if one disagrees with the views of a leftist, one is guilty of “hate speech.” It doesn’t matter how logically, mildly or sincerely stated, if you hold politically-incorrect views, you will almost certainly be muzzled, prevented from speaking on college campuses and in public spaces, shouted down and called a bigot, homophobe, or worse.
                One person of the non-leftist persuasion was allowed to speak recently at Bethune-Cookman University’s commencement ceremony. Betsy DeVos, Secretary of Education, praised the graduating students for their hard work in her address. DeVos, who supports school choice because she fervently believes it is beneficial to minority communities, also talked of the nation’s polarization and called for grace towards each other.
                The students booed and turned their backs on her. Apparently, being for “school choice” is “hate speech.”
                The left actually loves hate when it is used against those who dare to deviate from their dogma. They are open to myriads of different hair colors, sexual orientations and genders, but you had better not differ from them politically.
                It is a virtual clich√© for Democrats and “entertainers” to openly admit they “hate” President Trump. Madonna thought about “blowing up the White House.” Teachers and entertainers have ruminated on assassination possibilities. Leftists openly mock the supposed hillbillies in “flyover country.” Senator Al Franken is coming out with a new book that has an entire chapter dedicated to his hatred of fellow Senator Ted Cruz. And, he has simply stated, “I hate Ted Cruz.”
                But, saying you “hate” someone doesn’t qualify as “hate speech” in leftist circles, if the recipient of the hatred is a non-leftist.
It dawned on me recently that there may be a way to explain the apparent paradox that is the unending tolerance the left shows towards Muslim extremists, vis-√†-vis its total intolerance of conservatives. It is startling how similar many progressive’s world views have become to that of Islamic fundamentalists. Many share a disdain for Christianity. Some literally appear to feel the need to convert, enslave- or kill- conservatives.
Convert? You must believe in man-caused global warming they say. The science is settled. If you don’t you are a dangerous lunatic who may need to be imprisoned. Enslave? Even if your Christian religious beliefs dissuade you from paying for abortions or participating in a gay marriage ceremony, we will force you to do so under penalty of law. And you have no right to defend yourselves, either. We’re going to repeal the Second Amendment someday, someway, so help us Gaia!
Kill, really? Really. (I wrote this before James Hodgkinson attempted to murder as many Republicans as possible on a ball field in Alexandria, Virginia, recently. Eerie.).
Is there a comedian, entertainer, school teacher, professor or thespian that hasn’t publicly or privately acted out the beheading or assassination of President Trump recently?
Just as those on the left claim only white people can be racist, they now essentially claim that only conservatives, whom they openly hate, are capable of hate speech.
It is time to rid ourselves of the agony of deceit. It is time to confront the thugocracy. No matter what. The only alternative is absolute deconstruction- and the total destruction- and dissolution- of the United States of America and Western society.


Friday, June 23, 2017

School District's Talent Show Includes Lewd Drag Queen Act

                A New York City school district talent show held May 25th reached a chaotic climax when kids as young as 5-years-old were exposed to an erotic drag-queen performance. The New York Daily News said the act was “complete with gyrations, tongue gymnastics and a flashed G-string.”
                Parents were understandably shocked and enraged that the district thought it was okay to feature an adult male in drag spreading his legs and displaying his crotch area in a talent show primarily of and for school children.
                One parent told the Daily News, “I left the show the minute he started sticking his tongue out. I had my children with me and I wasn’t going to allow them to see that.”
                At one point, the drag queen dropped down on “her” stomach and began writhing and thrusting in a lewd and suggestive manner, then turned over and opened and closed “her” legs while crossing and re-crossing them. A number of people started yelling- and some left the auditorium- at this juncture, though a few could be heard laughing and applauding. Many parents said, had they only known the salacious performance was going to occur, they would have taken their kids out after they had performed.
                Incredibly, in sign number 1,278 of the coming apocalypse, reports state that the school district’s talent show was emceed by District Four Superintendent Alexandra Estrella, and the drag queen was the president of the Public School 96 Parent Association.
                How could this possibly have happened? What relevance did the “act” have to a school talent show? Why would a school district or school board allow such a thing? Was there some sort of “message” being sent?
                Raquel Morales, one of the parents appalled by the display, told Todd Starnes of Fox News: “The school district told me the performance was about LGBT awareness.”


Thursday, June 22, 2017

Trees Migrating North, West Experts Say

                Trees are migrating.
                That is the conclusion of a study of 86 eastern tree species conducted by scientists at Purdue University and published in mid-May. Not to worry, however. Unlike, say, the great caribou migrations, you won’t have to take immediate evasive action if you’re in the way of an advancing forest.
                None-the-less, the researchers found that, in the past 30 years, many species have already migrated 20-25 miles to the west and north. They claim the trees are heading west in response to increased rainfall in the central part of the country, and north in response to higher average temperatures.
                A recent article in the Minneapolis StarTribune declared: “Climate scientists predict that, even if global carbon emissions are held to the rates agreed upon in the Paris Climate Accord, average temperatures will rise by 2 to 4 degrees Fahrenheit by the end of this century. That means the pines of northern Minnesota would give way to a hardwood and grass ecosystem, said Lee Frelich, a University of Minnesota professor who studies climate change and forests.”
                And that’s if we’re lucky.
There’s a worse-case scenario rearing its ugly head. “But if carbon emissions and climate change continue to accelerate, then in time, northern Minnesota will instead look a lot like Kansas, Frelich said, and no boreal species will survive long term.” One pictures a Wizard of Oz II of the not-so-distant future, in which another ‘Judy Garland,’ also born in Grand Rapids, Minnesota, gets blown away by a twister, and, after being carried aloft from the sunflower state to northern Minnesota, turns to her little dog, saying: “Toto, we’re not in Kansas anymore. Oh, wait, I guess we are.”
According to the article, scientists from the Nature Conservancy- and other assorted organizations- are petrified that “The giant, long-living pines are disappearing” from northern Minnesota, “replaced by more southern species like red maple as tree species across the country move in response to rapid changes in temperature and moisture brought on by 100 years of rising carbon levels in the atmosphere.”
They are not going to stand idly by either. They are “embarking [no pun intended, I’m sure] on a project to plant 400 acres with cold-loving evergreens like jack pine and tamarack in carefully selected ‘conifer strongholds’—places that they predict will stay cooler or wetter or have better soil, increasing the chances that a few of each species will survive for the next generation as Minnesota grows warmer.”
A few of each species will survive for the next generation? I assume they mean the next generation of trees, not humans. Do these trees, like college kids, really need “safe spaces” in which to take refuge? From “rapid” changes in temperature? After all, it was just 4 and 5 years ago that most Minnesota lakes experienced two of their latest ice-outs in recorded history. Back to back. Moreover, in December 2014, International Falls, Minnesota, set a new record of 8 days with a temperature of less than -30F. That same winter, just a couple years ago, was the coldest Duluth had suffered through in 141 years! I’m reasonably certain that trees aren’t setting out on their migratory path in an attempt to bask in those temperatures. In fact, according to a local tree service I talked to, some trees and shrubs died in the extreme cold that winter. (Oh, sorry, global cooling, just what global warming predicts. Climate change, you know).
Funny, though, the modern “scientific” notion that pine trees, in particular, can’t survive in warmer temperatures. Arkansas, North Carolina and Alabama all list a pine as their state tree.
I googled “trees migrating north and west,” and the top two results of my search were:
1)      “Climate change is causing trees in the eastern U.S. to move north, west”-, and
2)      “American Trees Are Moving West, and No One Knows Why”-

Oh, come on, which is it? The science is indisputable, or no one has a bleeping clue?

I clicked on each of the two. The USAToday’s headline was actually the most amusing: “Fed up with climate change, trees are moving north and west.” The trees are “fed up?” Is this possible, or is this possibly “fake news?” The ensuing article opined, “It’s getting so hot that even the trees are heading north.” To the “tree line,” perhaps? (Oddly, this is the opposite of recent human migration in the U.S. Fed up with government bullshit, high taxes, and political correctness run amok, the rust belt states have been hemorrhaging people to the southern states).

Experts want us to believe, against all evidence, that pine trees will soon be extinct in the northern climes, and that northern-tier states will soon be rife with okra and cotton.

I don’t know about you, but I’m “fed up,” too. I’m pining for sanity and integrity.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

"Father" And "Mother" No Longer Inclusive Enough On Birth Certificates

                Spain recently acquiesced to political correctness and updated its birth certificates to list “Progenitor A” and “Progenitor B,” as the newborn’s parents instead of “father” and “mother.” This is fine as far as it goes, but I’m sure they’ll need to add “Progenitor C” and perhaps “Progenitor D/E/F, etc.” to the birth certificates at times, as well.
                In truth, this madness started before many of you reading this were a twinkle in your progenitor A’s eye, but is only recently coming to fruition. The writing has been on the wall since the 1960s. Since then, colleges and universities have gradually abdicated their mission of instructing their students in the classics and humanities- so they know how to think- in favor of instructing them what to think…and feel.  In doing so, they have turned their campuses into incubators of the addled and intolerant. They have molded their students into sniveling, incompetent, entitled, pseudo-victimologists and social warriors, utterly incapable of understanding the real world, let alone dealing with it. During this same period, Hollywood took a sharp left turn, the media lost its soul, Big Business climbed into bed with Big Government, and the LGBT movement has grown from a trickle to a torrent.
                Our Founding Progenitors would be shocked. There is a progenitor B lode of pathetic euphemisms in general use now. Everybody and their progenitor B seems to be submitting to this assault on language and reason. Soon women will be visiting “Planned Progenitorhood” to abort their babies.
                It’s not your progenitor A’s world, that’s for sure. It’s enough to make a person shout, “progenitor B f*cker!” (And would you kiss your progenitor B with that mouth?).
                Guess we should just pray for guidance. “Our Progenitor A, who art in Heaven…”

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Love Is Love: Tri-Parenting Rules!

                Once it is determined that marriage is not just to be defined as between one man and one woman, and that it isn’t primarily in support of procreation and child-rearing, then, logically, anything goes. If complimentary genitalia is of no matter, neither the gender, obviously, nor the quantity of those betrothed has any relevance to the union(s). If “Love is Love” trumps all other factors, everyone should be free to marry any other being- or thing- they choose, in any quantity they choose, regardless of sex, age, relationship, or species, whether animal, vegetable or mineral. Period. (Whether or not the being or thing is capable of a ‘period’! Period-less Pride, baby, period-less pride!).
                Fortunately, we are rapidly headed in just that inclusive, progressive direction. In fact, in recent years, California and Maine have passed legislation protecting “tri-parenting,” affording threesomes the legal right to share custody and child-rearing duties. Tri-parenting is gaining significant traction in other states, as well, and, as with no-fault divorce, abortion rights, and gay marriage, it too is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg when it comes to redefining marriage and adult’s relationships with children.
                Not surprisingly, a handful of university professors claim that three-way parenting can actually be beneficial to a child, though others- and most sociologists- would disagree. Studies show that children in two-parent households perform better both academically and emotionally. Logic dictates that kids in “tri-parenting” households would be exposed to more complexity, instability and turmoil.
                Domestic scene #1, circa 2057- a young girl riding a bicycle in her driveway…her neighbor addresses her:
                “Hi, Amber, where are your parents?”
                “Oh, hi Mr. Johnson. Um, five of them are upstairs in the house. They said they needed some ‘parental unit’ time. I think they’re doing it. Anyway, the other three are at Costco.”

                Domestic scene #2, circa 2057- a teenage girl at home with her parents:
                “Hi, dad #1! Can I borrow the car keys?”
                “What for, honey?”
                “I’m going to go see Lance…and Alicia…and Larry. We’re going to go on a date. Probably catch a movie.”
                “No. Sorry, dear, but I don’t like that Larry. His grandfather voted for Trump back in ’16.”
                “Fine! I’ll just go ask one of my other dads!”

                Domestic scene #3, circa 2057- a 15-year-old girl asks mom #2 if she can spend the night at her two boyfriend’s apartment:
                “So, is it okay if I sleep over with Mutt and Jeff, mom?”
                “No, not tonight. You’ve already slept over with them twice this week.”
                “You bitch…I hate you! My other mom would’ve let me!”
                “I know. That’s why you’ve already slept over there twice this week.”
                The girl lashes out in righteous anger and slaps mom #2.
                Mom #2, shaking with rage: “You just wait until your third daddy comes home, Betty Lou Smith!”

Monday, June 19, 2017

Song "Walk On The Wild Side" Transphobic, University Group Says

                The University of Guelph’s Central Student Association put Lou Reed’s “Walk on the Wild Side” on its list of songs to be played while bus passes were being distributed recently, MRC-TV reported, to lend a 1970’s road trip feel to the event.
                These are not the 1970s.
                The song, shockingly “progressive” in its day, is apparently nowhere near sensitive and inclusive enough for modern times. Despite reports that no complaints were made, the CSA issued the following statement: "It’s come to our attention that the playlist we had on during bus pass distribution on Thursday contained a song with transphobic lyrics (Lou Reed, 'Take a Walk on the Wild Side'). We now know the lyrics to this song are hurtful to our friends in the trans community and we’d like to unreservedly apologize for this error in judgement.”
                The student association also said that it is committed to being even more “mindful” of the music it plays during upcoming events and promised to feature songs that are “more inclusive.” The group also posted a statement on Facebook, since taken down, saying “Walk on the Wild Side” was selected for the playlist in “ignorance.”
                Someone pointed out to the CSA that the song was revolutionary and possibly the first to promote transgender acceptance, and that Lou Reed wrote and performed the song as a paean to the wild, anything goes nightlife of New York City. To which the student union responded by saying the song is “understood to be transphobic” because it “devalues the experiences and identities of trans folks,” and “minimizes the experiences of oppression” by describing a person who transitioned by changing his appearance. The CSA wants to make it very clear that becoming transgender does not mean having to alter one’s appearance in any way. After all, you are whatever gender you identify as at any given moment, regardless of physical characteristics or mode of dress.
                The Ontario university’s student association observed: “Additionally, stating that conversing, spending time with, or having sex with a trans person is ‘taking a walk on the wild side’ is also problematic. It labels trans folks as ‘wild’ or ‘unusual’ or ‘unnatural,’ which is a dangerous rhetoric,” adding that this could “dehumanize and fetish” transgender people. It concluded by saying that, though the song promoted transgender acceptance long ago, “it is now being consumed in a different societal context,” and is therefore “not always consumed in the ways that it was intended.”
                Sounds like the group was consuming something else- in ways other than intended- when it wrote this unprovoked transgender manifesto.
                The lyrics to “Walk on the Wild Side” were written about Reed's friends from Andy Warhol's (counter-cultural, at the time) “Factory,” including the iconic trans actresses Holly Woodlawn, and Candy Darling. The song’s lyrics also are an ode to those engaged in kinky sex, prostitution and drug use.
                So, the fact that some now don’t consider it inclusive enough, and think it a remnant of the bad old days when straight, Calvinist white males ran roughshod over Western Lands, shows how far we’ve “progressed.”
                Want to try something truly revolutionary, legitimately rebellious, crazily kinky?
                Proclaim yourself to be purely heterosexual and gender non-conflicted. And don’t apologize.
                Hey, babe, take a walk on the wild side.

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Berkeley To Ban Plastic Straws?

                Convenient, colorful, useful and fun though they may be, plastic drinking straws may be on the way out if places such as Berkeley, California, have their way. Three of the famously liberal town’s City Council members have proposed an ordinance that would ban the straws from restaurants and coffee shops, due to the straws environmentally unfriendly nature.
                Sophie Hahn, one of the three, exclaimed: “We need to change our habits. The habits we have are destroying our planet.”
                Well, then. Of course, what she really means is you and I need to change our habits to conform to her whims and beliefs.
                Hahn also proposes that the cost of alternative biodegradable straws, which are roughly eight times more expensive than the plastic ones currently being used, be passed on to the consumer.
                If City Councils and other government bodies around the country literally start grasping at straws in an attempt to save the planet, you know they will exempt themselves from the very laws they enact. The Sophie Hahns and Al Gores of the world, who dolefully look down their noses at kids sipping their soft-drinks in McDonalds restaurants and the elderly with Parkinson’s Disease (and trembling hands) using straws to intake their beverages without spilling, will, of course, have their own straw warehouses.
A butler will trail after them at soirees for the rich and powerful, like a caddy following a professional golfer. “I think I should like a short, black one for my gin and tonic, now, Jeeves, but do lay out a couple of plain white ones for my orange juice tomorrow morning.”
“It will be my greatest pleasure, madam/sir. And, might I add, those are excellent choices.”

“Oh, and Jeeves, do we have enough Crazy Straws on hand? I’ve got Kathy Griffin and Rosie O’Donnell coming to visit this weekend!”

Saturday, June 17, 2017

Canada Passes Bill C-16 As The Left Trumps Reason

                Canada passed Bill C-16 recently, making it illegal to use the “wrong” gender pronouns. God forbid you assume someone is, say, Antegender (“a protean gender which has the potential to be anything, but is formless and motionless, and therefore, does not manifest as a particular gender), when they, in fact, are Anongender (“a gender that is unknown to both yourself and others”)! Off to re-education camp you go, you ignorant, heartless, bigot! And let’s not even think about what would happen to you if you called someone with all male parts a “man,” or someone with all female parts a “woman,” if they didn’t choose to identify as such at the time.
   Newspaper headlines would read: “Canada Brings Back the Death Penalty.”

               Try to reconcile this development with the fact that New Jersey Democratic political strategist James Devine has introduced the hashtags #HuntRepublicans and #HuntRepublicanCongressmen to his tweets, and no one appears particularly upset. He added the hashtags to his tweets after Republicans were targeted in the Alexandria shootings. Five people were shot, two are in critical condition, his tweets stand…and he is not apologetic, telling WKXW: “It is insensitive, and I don’t care. You want me to be politically correct? I don’t have time for that anymore. I’m not apologizing if it offended snowflake Republicans.”
                He added, “We are in a war with selfish, foolish & narcissistic rich people. Why is it a shock when things turn violent?” He also said that a case could be made- using Republican’s right to bear arms philosophy- that the shooter was simply “availing himself of his Second Amendment remedies.”
                First off, Devine is obviously a misogynist. #HuntRepublicanCongressmen? I hope he travels to Canada. They wouldn’t put up with such blatant sexism. As for being politically incorrect, that refers to someone, say, not using preferred gender pronouns, not to someone urging the killing of a large group of people because they don’t agree with them. That is mass murder. And labeling Republicans “snowflakes” in this instance is patently absurd. Unlike spoiled, intolerant, liberal brats on college campuses who hear words they don’t like, they didn’t go running for warm milk and cookies. They called for unity. After being shot at.
                The Second Amendment codifies the people’s natural right to protect themselves from deranged assassins like Mr. Devine, it doesn’t give anyone the right to attack others for their political beliefs. We have the right to bear arms, not commit murder. It’s called the Rule of Law, which Mr. Devine wouldn’t understand, much as the terms democratic republic and Natural Law would mystify and anger him.
                So, to recap, we can no longer legally call people what they are, but we can aid and abet the killing of people for who they are.
                Provided they’re Republicans, of course.

                There is no way to make peace with people consumed by victimology, covetousness and entitlement, and driven by infantile emotion devoid of reason, logic or judgement.  

Friday, June 16, 2017

Antarctica: Green With Envy?

                The Washington Post reports that researchers in Antarctica have discovered “rapidly growing banks of mosses on the ice continent’s northern peninsula, providing striking evidence of climate change in the coldest and most remote parts of the planet.”
                Holy cow! How fast is the previously chilly continent turning green? According to the article: “The scientists found two different species of mosses undergoing the equivalent of growth spurts, with mosses that once grew less than a millimeter per year now growing more than 3 millimeters per year on average.” That’s less than a quarter of an inch annually.
                Probably wouldn’t pack your golf clubs just yet.
                The lead author of the study stated: “Even these relatively remote ecosystems, that people might think are relatively untouched by human kind, are showing the effects of human-induced climate change.”
                Less than one percent of Antarctica supports plant life currently, but the researchers believe these parts of the continent “are likely to be getting greener.” Rob DeConto, a glaciologist at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, who is entirely unconnected to the study, none-the-less opined: “This is another indicator that Antarctica is moving backward in geologic time—which makes sense, considering atmospheric CO2 levels have already risen to levels that the planet hasn’t seen since the Pliocene, 3 million years ago, when the Antarctic ice sheet was smaller, and sea-levels were higher. If greenhouse gas emissions continue unchecked, Antarctica will head even further back in geologic time… perhaps the peninsula will even become forested again someday, like it was during the greenhouse climates of the Cretaceous and Eocene, when the continent was ice-free.”
              Talk about “Back to the Future!” Or is it forward, into the past?
 Millions of years ago, long before humans (or cows), Antarctica was so warm it was forested? And we’re now worried about moss growing three millimeters per year on a tiny part of the continent??!! CO2 levels- and sea levels- were much higher then than they are now? (It’s too bad Barack Obama wasn’t around at the time).  
So, to recap, we “know” that climate change is “human-induced,” and may even take us back to the extremes that existed eons before there were any humans around?

It is difficult to judge which is more insane: leftist dogma, or the morons who believe it. 

Thursday, June 15, 2017

The Left Blames Firearms For Hodgkinson's Attack On Republicans

                The left (including the mainstream media, academia, and Hollywood) has in a sense become an unfunny version of the Harlem Globetrotters. It attempts to control every aspect of the game (of life), no longer even caring if the audience knows the match is rigged. It looks at mainstream, Main Street Americans the way the Trotters looked at the Washington Generals. But instead of just pulling our pants down now and again, pointing and laughing, or tossing a bucket of confetti our way, it is now paving the way for the utter eradication of anyone or anything that dares to stand in the way of its unquenchable desire for authority and power.
                The left immediately, reflexively blames “right-wing extremists, talk radio, Rush Limbaugh, Fox News,” or some combination thereof for nearly any tragedy, at least until it is thoroughly proven otherwise…which is almost always the case. It doesn’t matter if it’s the Oklahoma City bombing, the shooting of Gabby Giffords in 2011, school shootings, church fires, cross burnings, global warming/climate change, Lyme Disease, or cedar-apple rust. The fourth estate immediately claims that any non-leftist view that’s been recently expressed has created a “toxic” atmosphere that “laid the foundation” for violence, or pushed the unstable to lash out.
                It is odd, then, in light of the unceasing, vitriolic attacks on President Trump and other Republicans over the course of the past year in social media, from “entertainers,” “professors,” and assorted other cranks, and the overwhelmingly negative coverage the Trump administration has received from the media, that these “anti-Trumpers” refuse to take any blame for the recent attack on Republican lawmakers in Alexandria, Virginia. This despite the fact that the shooter was an avid fan of left-wing media sites, outlets, and personalities such as, MSNBC, and Rachel Maddow,  was a member of the Facebook group, “Terminate the Republican Party,” and had previously stated he was out to “destroy” Trump.
                No, they used the tragedy to continue to promote their own agenda, as they always do: they blamed guns. (Well, Nancy Pelosi actually blamed Republicans and Fox News for getting Republicans shot, but that’s another story). To paraphrase Ronald Reagan, “There they go again.” If it wasn’t for the two brave Capitol police officer’s guns, which disabled (and eventually killed) the fake news-addled shooter, this would have been a full-fledged massacre. Do we blame gas for the Holocaust, or the twisted ideology of the NAZIs? When someone commits a hit-and-run, do we blame the vehicle, or the driver? Only guns can protect an individual against those more powerful. It is firearms that put an end to most shootings and prevent many crimes.

                That threatens the left’s world view and its hold on power.

That is why only guns are ludicrously held to account for the despicable actions of evil people.
                The unyielding, monolithic ignorance permeating progressive’s assault on firearms did inadvertently provide a bit of dark humor on an otherwise somber day, however. The Democratic Governor of Virginia, Terry McAuliffe, in an interview with reporters after the shootings, twice stated that, “We lose 93 million Americans a day to gun violence.”

                Who says Democrats are out of touch?

                Given that the “official” population of the United States was 326,356,220 as of Wednesday, June 14th, 2017, that would mean it would now only be 233,356,220 as I write this a day later. The hospitals and morgues would be really busy! It would mean that, by this coming Sunday, there wouldn’t be a man, woman or child left alive in the U.S., whose population would be zero. This might make ISIS, Kim Jong un, and various other bloodthirsty groups and dictators happy, but all those horrid guns would be left behind!
                There just wouldn’t be anyone left to fire them.

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Trump-Hating Democrat Fires On Republicans Practicing For Charity Baseball Game

                The first shots of the American Civil War rang out across the southern landscape not far from the water’s edge in the early morning hours that fateful spring day.
                No, it wasn’t Fort Sumter near Charlestown, South Carolina, in April of 1861. It was on a ball field in Alexandria, Virginia earlier today. The shooting phase of the Second American Civil War has begun.  In this case, the assassin, James T. Hodgkinson from Belleville, Illinois, was killed by Capitol police after injuring five people, including House Majority Whip Steve Scalise, when he opened fire on a Republican congressional baseball practice. Hodgkinson was a Trump-hating Democrat and ardent Bernie Sanders supporter who had threatened to “destroy” the president and his administration on social media. He was a member of the FaceBook group, “Terminate the Republican Party.” He chose the day of the president’s 71st birthday to launch his attack. The 66-year-old would-be mass-murderer, who had a history of domestic violence, including punching a woman in the face, apparently fired nearly 100 rounds from his assault rifle in his attempt to kill as many Republicans as possible. Representative Scalise was shot in the hip, two Capitol police officers accompanying him were shot as they returned fire, and a lobbyist and congressional staffer were also shot. Rep. Scalise and Matt Mika, the lobbyist, are still in critical condition. Thankfully, the others are expected to make a full recovery.
   Hodgkinson asked one of the lawmakers, prior to opening fire, if they were Republicans or Democrats.
   It is a depraved new world.
   There are Islamic terrorists asking people if they are Christians before killing them. And now we have left-wing fascists asking people if they are Republicans before attacking them, as well. Innocent people are being maimed and slaughtered for the religious or political beliefs they hold.  
               The attacks are no longer figurative. They are no longer just faux beheadings in a “photoshoot,” or portrayals of assassination in a dumb-ass play by deranged thespians. They are real. Democrats constantly used to bemoan the “coarsening” of language in our political “debates.” They pompously tut-tutted about the “politics of personal destruction.” And now their unending engagement in- or tolerance of- every form of hatred and every vile act directed against the Trump administration, and Republicans or conservatives in general, has reached its logical culmination. The media, academia and Hollywood are also directly complicit in fostering an atmosphere of outright hatred and intolerance towards those who possess views differing from their own.
  They have all come down with Hodgkinson’s Disease.
              According to reports, shortly after the shooter opened fire on Republican lawmakers practicing for an annual charity baseball game, the office of Rep. Claudia Tenney (R-N.Y.) received an email with the subject line, “One down, 216 to go…”
              If a second Civil War transpires, it won’t be the Blue versus the Gray. It will be the Blue States vs. the Red States. And it will occur because one side, the leftists/progressives/socialists, will not recognize or accept election results, differing viewpoints, or even the rule of law in its mad quest for control.
                [Tragically, this attack occurred just hours after I wrote and posted: “…if any group needs and deserves taxpayer-funded safe spaces going forward it is conservatives.” (See my post, “Muslim Group Demands Taxpayer-Funded Safe Spaces;” June 13th, 2017). I do not claim to be Nostradamus, nor would I want to be, but events I’ve foreseen in my blog posts seem to happen far too frequently and far too quickly].

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Muslim Group Calls For Taxpayer-Funded Safe Spaces

                An Australian group, the Islamic Council of Victoria (ICV), which claims to represent some 200,000 Muslims, has proposed the creation of taxpayer-funded “safe spaces” for young members of the Religion of Peace. The ICV says the community suffers from mental health issues as well as other problems because of the widespread suspicion it faces over fears of radical Islamic terror. The group said such unsurveilled safe havens would allow young Muslims a forum to safely express “inflammatory views that would cause trouble if voiced publicly.”
                Talk about chutzpah!
                Radical Islamists are continually killing “infidels” all over the world, in parks and public spaces, in concert halls and private businesses, and members of their religion want taxpayers whose countrymen are being slaughtered in their religion’s name to pay for places where they can safely express “Inflammatory views that could cause trouble if voiced publicly?!” What might those be? It certainly wouldn’t be inflammatory to call for the repudiation of violence.
                Where the hell were/are the safe spaces for the over 14,000 people killed or injured in the 953 Islamic terror attacks committed so far this year alone? And, if any group needs and deserves taxpayer-funded safe spaces going forward it is conservatives.
                It is nothing less than stunning how tolerant people in the West have been of Islam. It is nothing less than disgusting when people of that faith claim to be victims, and are avowedly confused as to why they are sometimes subject to a little bit of scrutiny (though obviously not enough).
                There has been no reason to be the least bit concerned about the potentially deadly intentions of the Amish or the Hutterites. Hasidic Jews have not routinely committed acts of terror around the world in recent memory. Lutherans haven’t bombed concert halls and Catholics haven’t been strapping nail-bombs to their youth and sending them into public places to martyr themselves by blowing up scores of innocent bystanders.
                I’m pretty sure Japan didn’t call for taxpayer-funded safe spaces for those of the Shinto faith living in America after It bombed Pearl Harbor.

                If we in the West are so weak, gullible and ignorant as to follow through with “proposals” such as the ICV’s…we deserve our fate. 

Monday, June 12, 2017

Transgender Fraud

             A transgender “woman” sued the state of Idaho recently, claiming the state violated “her” free speech rights by declining “her” request to change the gender on “her” birth certificate. In truly Orwellian fashion, “she” complains that Idaho’s “stigmatizing refusal” to issue revised birth certificates is a violation of First Amendment rights because it “prevents transgender individuals from accurately expressing their gender,” and further violates their rights “to refrain from speaking by forcing them to disclose their transgender status and to identify with a gender that conflicts with who they are.”
 A violation of free speech rights? I can say I’m a rainbow trout- or a Ford Mustang for that matter- but that doesn’t mean I am one. The “lady” in question has changed “her” name on “her” official identification and documents. The 28-year-old was born male in Hawaii, and claims that the Aloha State issued “her” a driver’s license that says “she’s” female, so “she” is gob-smacked that stuffy, old, intransigent Idaho’s Bureau of Vital Records and Health Statistics won’t change the gender listed on “her” birth certificate.
Bizarrely, “she” says that by refusing to issue these revised birth certificates, the state “subjects [transgender people] to discrimination, privacy invasions, harassment, humiliation, stigma and even violence.” Quite the opposite. “She” has very capably done much of that on “her” own.
 Whether or not a person believes that sloughing off a body part here and adding one there later in life can somehow change the genetic code programming every cell in a person’s body, one’s birth certificate is a simple statement of fact. It would be a flat-out lie, requiring a forged document and the outright commitment of fraud to list someone as the opposite of the sex they obviously, clinically, physically are at the time of their birth. Penis? Check. Scrotum and testes? Check. It’s a girl!
So much for the scientific method.
Or is “she” trying to say that “she” somehow “knew,” before “she” was even born, while still in the womb, that “she” was “female?”

I wonder what would the pro-abortion crowd have to say about that?

Sunday, June 11, 2017

CNN's Reza Aslan Calls President Trump "A Piece Of Shit"

                President Donald Trump posted a tweet recently in response to the London Bridge terrorist attack. He said, “We need to be smart, vigilant and tough. We need the courts to give us back our rights. We need the Travel Ban as an extra level of safety!”
                To say this logical, measured statement didn’t sit well with CNN host Reza Aslan would be an understatement. In response, Aslan posted a tweet of his own: “This piece of $#@! is not just an embarrassment to America and a stain on the presidency. He’s an embarrassment to humankind.”
 The CNN “journalist” has since removed the tweet and posted an “apology” for his obscene outburst: “I should not have used a profanity to describe the President when responding to his shocking reaction to the #LondonAttacks. My statement: When in the first few minutes of the terror attack in London, the President of the United States tweeted about his travel ban, I lost my cool and responded to him in a derogatory fashion. That’s not like me. I should have used better language to express my shock and frustration at the president’s lack of decorum and sympathy for the victims of London. I apologize for my choice of words.”
What the hell was “shocking” about the president’s reaction to the terrorists killing and maiming dozens of innocent civilians in London? Was it the part where he said, “we need to be smart?” That could be a bit of a stunner after the last 8 years, I guess.
Or perhaps it was the president suggesting we need to be “vigilant and tough” that left Aslan gob-smacked? And, how did Trump exhibit “lack of decorum and sympathy for the victims of London?” He made the statement in defense of the victims and in an attempt to see that innocents everywhere are protected from random slaughter in the future. Lack of decorum would be calling the president a “Piece of sh*t,”…you piece of sh*t.
Reza Aslan is also infamous for sitting down with an Aghori “guru” from a tiny, extremist, cannibalistic Hindu sect on an episode of his CNN show “Believer,” in which he had his face coated in ashes from cremated human bodies while he dined on (cooked) human brain tissue. Oh, and he drank an (alcoholic) drink out of a human skull before “dinner.”
Well, when in Rome, right? Gotta be tolerant and inclusive! That’s all that really matters. Love that multiculturalism!
The Aghori are devotees of the Hindu god Shiva. Orthodox Hindus flatly reject most of their beliefs and practices. Indian-Americans have understandably criticized CNN for highlighting the acts of a cult numbering less than 100 members, averring that it does not represent mainstream Hinduism. Don’t worry, mainstream Hindus, CNN itself is a cult, albeit one comprised of many more members than the Aghori can tout, and isn’t representative of mainstream anything.
At one point, the guru got angry at Aslan, shouting, “I will cut your head off if you keep talking so much.” I know how he feels. The guru also commenced eating his own feces before flinging it at Aslan.
Much like CNN does to its viewers.

Saturday, June 10, 2017

State Mottoes Examined For Offense

                I have just finished a pro-active review of the official state mottoes of all 50 entities comprising the land of the free and the home of the brave. I did this in an effort to spark a movement to scrub the dictums of any offensive verbiage and/or non-inclusiveness. While some mottoes were unlikely to be seen as microagressions, others could be viewed as triggering- or, worse- hate speech. My report is as follows:
                The very first state, alphabetically, is Alabama. Its motto translates from the Latin as, “We dare defend our rights,” which is how we know it wasn’t crafted by a Republican. That said, a minor tweak would make it much more suitable to the times. “We dare defend our transgender rights” it is, then!
                Alaska’s maxim is “North to the future.” We will have to go north before global warming fries us all, if we are to have a future. It can stay as is.
                Arizona’s motto, Ditat Deus, means “God enriches.” Though those in towns closer to the border may not agree, the enlightened among us know that it would better read, “Diversity enriches.”
                California’s “Eureka” translates to: “I have found it!” To which it should now add, “And I will flaunt it! And tax it!”
                Colorado’s catchphrase has been “Nothing without Providence,” whatever that means. There is talk of updating the state’s motto to “Nothing without nachos.” Much more applicable…dude.
                Connecticut sports as its adage, “He who transplanted still sustains.” I suggest modernizing it to: “Ze who’s transgendered is germane.”
                Florida’s motto, “In God we trust,” is obviously offensive and unconstitutional.  Perhaps, “In sod we trust” would be a better fit given the state’s ubiquitous golf courses and retirement communities.
                Maryland’s brazen pronouncement is: “Manly deeds, womanly words.” This is so misogynistic and sexist it should be immediately struck from the records, and the state should be banned from even having a state motto for a decade…or more.
                New Mexico, always creative, chimes in with “It grows as it goes.” Hmm. I am not prepared to comment on it at this time, pending further review.
                North Carolina’s “To be rather than to seem” needs to be reversed with the repealing of its ill-fated bathroom law. In a very real (unreal?) sense, it is now okay “To seem rather than to be.”
                Ohio professes, “With God all things are possible.” Replace with “Allahu Akbar.”
                Virginia’s motto, “Thus always to tyrants,” should be bequeathed to the District of Columbia when it becomes the 51st state, as per Democrat’s fondest wishes.
                Finally, Washington state’s motto is the Native American Al-Ki, meaning “by and by.” A subtle change renders it perfect for this brave new era. “Bi…and bi” is beautiful and inclusive. Know what I mean?


Friday, June 9, 2017

Netherlands' Zoo Debuts Tinder For Orangutans!

                 Orangutans at the Netherlands’ Apenheul Primate Park are getting an exciting new opportunity to make a love connection. The Dutch zoo has rolled out what it calls “Tinder for orangutans.” The new app will let lonely apes see photos of potential mates. Researchers will evaluate their responses to determine compatibility, the Washington Post reported.
                “After seeing the photos, the monkeys have to push a button on the screen. In this way, we can measure their capacity for reaction,” said the park in a recent statement. If you know what they mean, wink, wink. Leiden University researchers said they started the matchmaking program to improve breeding success among the apes.
                Thomas Bionda, a biologist at the zoo, told a local newspaper: “Often, animals have to be taken back to the zoo they came from without mating. Things don’t always go well when a male and a female first meet.”
                Come on, these are wild animals. How hard can it be to get them in the mood? Maybe provide them with a little patchouli, a nice dinner, a bottle of wine, some Smokey Robinson tunes…
                Apparently, it’s really not a fait accompli. Samboia, an 11-year-old female, upon given a tablet, destroyed it. That threw a monkey wrench into the zoo’s plans for primate passion. She missed out on photos from an international breeding program, according to the New York Post.

                Stop monkeying around, Samboia, so you can start monkeying around. Do the right thing for your species. Swipe right. 

Thursday, June 8, 2017

Crisis? What Crisis? The West Fails To Recognize Two Ongoing Wars

                Regular Joes or Joannes residing in the Western World are in the midst of two wars happening simultaneously. Sadly, that is by no means unprecedented in the annals of world history. What is truly remarkable, is that most of these folks refuse to believe either of them are occurring.
                Committed leftists, progressives, anarchists, et. al., are attempting to bring down the West, and permanently eradicate free market capitalism and any trace of Judeo-Christian values.
                Radical Islam, too, has openly declared war on western countries and Christians in particular. It is surpassingly strange that these two inimical forces are working together to destroy the freest, most decent, enlightened, successful societies the world has ever known. It is even more bizarre and inexplicable that the freest, most decent, enlightened, successful societies the world has ever known appear hell bent on letting them do so.
                Whether it be thugs carrying baseball bats around college campuses looking for those who disagree with them (Evergreen State College, etc.), or jihadis intent on seeing to it that one day the words “the London Bridge is falling down, falling down,” describe a real-life event and don’t just comprise a phrase in a nursery rhyme, they have been stunningly successful.
                We in the West refuse to take our enemies at their word, and decline to acknowledge their actions. We have succumbed to a sort of mental illness and are unable to process the clear nature- and breadth- of the threat the evil odd couple pose. We are still in nearly complete denial of the obvious on two separate fronts, either of which could literally mean the end of Western Civilization. To the extent any threat has been detected, we have decided the best way to deal with it is to do nothing.

                Ironically, the extraordinary tolerance that is a hallmark of these nations provides their enemies their only viable means to vanquish them. 

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

College Assessment Finds Many Seniors Can't Develop An Argument, Interpret Data

                Results of a relatively obscure standardized test that measures critical thinking ability do not do much to burnish the reputation of colleges and universities. The College Learning Assessment Plus test is administered to freshman and senior students at 200 schools around the country in order to measure the improvement in their critical thinking skills. However, according to a Wall Street Journal report, over a third of seniors at more than half of the schools couldn’t develop an argument, interpret data or analyze evidence in a document. In fact, at many of the schools, student’s scores actually went down from their freshman to their senior years!
                That is what happens when debate, logic and philosophy classes are replaced by courses in women’s studies, diversity awareness, and “the problem with whiteness.” This is what happens when the works of Plato, Socrates, Montesquieu, Burke, Adam Smith, the Founders and Friedrich Hayek are replaced by the “works” of Karl Marx, Saul Alinsky, Gloria Steinem, Bella Abzug, Al Sharpton, Paul Krugman, Al Gore and Elizabeth Warren. This is what happens when the kiddies are allowed to break down and run to their “safe spaces” to enjoy a warm cookie and squeeze some Play-Doh whenever they are accidentally exposed to a point of view their professors have taught them to disagree with.
                So send your kids to the most expensive and prestigious colleges in the land, to be indoctrinated in the virtues of socialism/Marxism. Shell out 50 grand a year so they can be told what to think and made into spineless, whiny, incompetent, weaklings that are tolerant of everything but excellence, standards, tradition, conservative thought and common sense. And/or saddle them with massive student loan debt so that they end up living in your basement until they’re 43, because they can’t handle the real world. They’ll still have Twitter, emojis and video games.
                And if you’ve graduated from college recently, that all probably makes perfect sense.