A recent Yale Daily
survey of that school’s freshmen found that more of the students
identified as members of the LGBTQ community than as conservatives. Over
one-half of the class of 2022 took part in the survey, in which a total of 22%
of respondents claimed to be either gay, bisexual, transsexual, asexual, “ace
spectrum,” or questioning. Of the 864 young scholars polled, nine percent
thought they were “somewhat conservative,” while only one percent admitted to
being “very conservative.” (Everyone sing it with me now: “Nine
of these kids just don’t belong here, nine
of these kids just aren’t the same”). There are, apparently,
more Hasidic Jew hairdressers named Adolph on campus than there are
conservatives. Only 16 percent of those surveyed identified as Protestant, 15
percent as Catholic.
Gallup poll estimated that just 4.5% of all Americans identified as LGBTQ. Thank
goodness for higher education! An earlier survey of Yale professors found that
identified as liberal while
less than 10% purported to be conservative. Over 90% of faculty members in the
humanities classified themselves as liberal, roughly equaling the same
percentage of leftists as were found in the Supreme Soviet circa 1980. Even
nearly two-thirds of STEM faculty identified as liberal.
to The College Fix
, in 2015, Yale
professors Nicholas and Erika Christakis became the targets of students vitriol
after Erika had the balls to suggest that students shouldn’t be so quick to
find offense with things such as Halloween costumes. At one point, Nicholas was
surrounded by a mob of threatening students, one of whom screamed “Who the f**k
hired you?” He eventually resigned. As did Erika. Yay tolerance! Yay diversity!
(The students probably didn’t like that they shared the same last name. Come to
think of it, they probably didn’t like the
2016, a Yale Daily News survey found that 95% of conservative students on
campus thought that their views were unwelcome. Ninety-five percent. Yay
tolerance! Yay diversity!
Leader: “Good morning, group! I’m Patrick Fitzmichael, and
in the seat next to me is my dynamic—and hunky!—assistant group leader, Michael
Fitzpatrick! Yay! Right? Anyway, we are all here today to celebrate our
diversity. Many of you have felt marginalized at some point in your life
because of your identities, passions, activities, or…whatever
, right? So, this group is here to provide affirmation to
you…to each and every individual here from everyone else here today. How
awesome is that? (Cheers and applause ring out). We will go around the room
now, and each of you will tell us a little about yourselves and why you’ve felt
oppressed, scared and saddened at some point in your lives. (Points). Bob, let’s
start with you. Don’t be shy big boy.”
Bob: “Well, I’ve known I was gay since I was 2. You can
imagine how hard it was to go through my life having to watch non-gay people on
television, in movies, and in my real life. It’s just so…marginalizing.” (Room explodes
with applause. Everyone shouts, “You go, Bob. So cool! We love you!”).
Leader: “We’ll just go cockwise—I mean clockwise-- from Bob.
Lance: “I’d just like to echo Bob’s comments. It was so
hard…no pun intended…growing up knowing that I might be deprived of covenantal
marriage, even if I was destined to make more money than heterosexuals.”
Sarah: “I am bisexual. Well, pansexual, actually. I just
like sticking things up my butt for the most part. Giggles.” (Loud applause. “So
cool, you go girl, we’ve got your back, love you” cries ring out).
Hillary: “I like to mix it up, if you know what I mean. Why
limit ourselves to one person, one sex, one species. I mean, hello, it’s so
prudish. And Trump wants to kill us all!”
Leader: “Great , great points, Hillary. Edward?”
Edward: “ I must…no….I am proud
to announce that I now identify as a 16-year-old,
two-spirited, bisexual, transgendered jackalope from Oklahoma.” (Wild applause,
whistling, shouts of “alright!” ensue).
Alexandria: “I have just had my third
abortion, and I just wanna say it was fantastic
! I mean, I love sex…who doesn’t?...but, like, I don’t
need kids! I think abortions should be free, like tampons and stuff, and, like,
maybe there should be like vouchers or something!” (Crazed affirmations,
Leader: “And, Thomas… is it?”
Thomas: “I…well, I have to out myself as a …conservative…and
I believe in the rule of law and the Bill of Rights and—” (Drowned out with
boos, jeers, and threats of physical violence).
Leader: “Thomas, you are sick. I’m going to have to ask you
to leave. We can’t take the risk that you might infect the minds of others in
this room. I will, in the strongest possible terms, recommend that you be
psychologically evaluated and sent to a reeducation camp- I mean to a
psychiatric facility- to get the help you so desperately need.”
Leader: “Alright everyone, let’s hear it for our motto:
‘Light and Truth!’” (Orgiastic approval).