Saturday, October 24, 2020

Michigan Governor Sends Televised Message: "86 45"


              Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer appeared on Meet the Press recently to bemoan all things Trump and Trumpian. During the interview, conducted remotely with Whitmer at her home, a pin on a table behind and to the right of the tyrannical and mind-blowingly unappealing governor was visible. The pin read “8645,” an obvious reference to getting rid of President Trump, the 45th Chief Executive in American history.

              Some, including members of Trump’s campaign, interpreted the pin as a plea to kill the president, as to “86” someone can have that connotation. According to most dictionary definitions, however, “86” means to get rid of, throw out, reject, discard, or cancel.

              In any case, it was positioned so that the camera couldn’t miss it, in what was a stunningly disrespectful gesture at best. At worst, it could be seen as an incitement to violence or an attempted coup. (This came after Whitless Whitmer, inaccurately, blamed the president for a foiled plot to kidnap her. Turns out, the plan was hatched by a motley crew, including a couple of Anti-Trumpers.) Even more hypocritically, the message was placed directly under a Michigan license plate reading “RESPECT.”

              Did the producers at Meet the Depressed Press sign off on the “message?” It would seem likely, tacitly if not explicitly.

 But maybe I’m being too hard on the governor. Maybe it was all just coincidence. Perhaps “86-45” just refers to her I.Q. as measured before and after a few cocktails. Maybe it’s her favorite number. Some people like “2” or “3” or “7.” Perhaps she is just really into “8645.” Maybe her memory isn’t the best and 8645 is a reminder, the last four digits of a friend’s phone number or of the combination to her safe.

Nah. “8645” is a reminder, but a reminder that Whitmer, like Speaker Pelosi (who tore up a copy of the president’s State of the Union speech on live television the moment it concluded), is a vile shrew, a small-minded partisan hack unworthy of her position, and an arrogant statist drunk on power.


Friday, October 23, 2020

California Governor Gavin Newsome Issues Holiday Gathering Regulations


Gavin Newsome, California’s Democrat governor, has issued a new set of decrees regulating holiday gatherings this year, mandates apparently designed to accelerate reverse migration. The new regulations ban gatherings of more than three households, meaning that a family with more than two grown children living on their own can only have two visit at the same time. (Who decides which two can come when? No hard feelings!)


Additionally, no indoor gatherings are permitted. This could be a problem for the old, infirm and less hardy folk living in Northern California.

“Nice snowman, grandma!”

“That’s actually your grandpa, Johnny. He froze and got snowed over trying to get the yard ready earlier today. But he’ll thaw out come spring.”


And what of those in apartments and condos who have no yard? Might be a bit tricky to have Thanksgiving dinner on, say, an 8’ by 12’ balcony. Especially in light of all the other regulations Newsome put in place, one of which mandates that at least six feet of distance be kept between members of different households at all times, even when sitting and eating. I’m not sure how Golden Staters are supposed to matriculate the turkey down the table while staying a minimum of six feet apart, though Governor Gavin apparently thought of that, too. His regulations require that “as much as possible, any food or beverages at outdoor gatherings must be in single-serve disposable containers.” (Nothing says Thanksgiving like eating food out of hermetically sealed individual containers.)


Newsome, graciously, will allow his residents’ loved ones to leave the backyard/balcony/deck/parking lot to enter their host’s dwelling and use the bathroom, but only if said bathroom is “frequently sanitized.” (Look for the maintenance chart on the back of the door!)


Attendees must also put their masks back on as soon as they finish eating. Which they should do quickly, as another stipulation is that “Gatherings should be two hours or less.”


“Thanks for coming all the way from Boston, son, but it’s time to vamoose now!”


Gavin’s Rules also state that party hosts must write down the names of all attendees for future contract tracing. And, says the governor, singing is “strongly discouraged.” If a person or small group insists on singing a Christmas carol, for example, they must wear a face mask, sing quietly, and stand apart from others/each other.

 Newsome’s regulations also give “local health jurisdictions” permission to enforce even stricter rules.

Rules, perhaps, such as these:

1) While any holiday gathering attendee is eating, no individual chew should last more than 11 seconds. If a chew is going to last longer than that, the chewer must put the chewer’s mask on for the remainder/duration of the chew. Therefore, the attendee should be careful to only insert small bites into the attendee’s temporarily uncovered mouth.

2) The use of disposable BUT BIODEGRADABLE silverware-- paper rather than plastic-- is strongly recommended.

3) Citizens should strongly consider installing Satellites or other port-a-potties in their yards so no one has to go inside the dwelling to urinate or move their bowels. These Satellites or other port-a-potties must be single occupancy units ONLY, and be properly ventilated. (A minimum of one vent per side, no less than 8 centimeters wide and 20 centimeters long.)

4) Audible praying is strictly forbidden. If, for some reason, a participant feels it necessary to pray, that person or persons should do so silently, while masked and facing away from any and all other participants.

5) Kissing, hugging, handshaking, pats on the back and all other signs of affection are strictly prohibited.

6) Please refrain from wearing “MAGA” apparel of any sort, as it has been known to cause many people to suffer extreme autonomic nervous system reactions leading to yelling, spitting, coughing, sputtering, and loss of control of limbs and extremities. In some cases, these can be fatal.

Best to you and yours! Enjoy the holidays!  


Beka Helm is from Sanger, California. She says her family’s gatherings normally include about 25 people. She can host fewer than half that many this year. “The holidays are all about family,” she noted. She added, “If you try to enforce every single one of these rules, the focus turns from family to keeping the rules.”

Now you’re getting it, Beka. That is precisely the intention.




Thursday, October 22, 2020

Biden Questions Voter's Memories


              Joe Biden didn’t like the results of a recent Gallup poll, apparently. When informed that 56% of voters felt their financial situation has improved under President Trump’s administration, he told WKRC (not WKRP!) in Cincinatti: “Their memory is not very good, quite frankly.” Talk about the pot calling the kettle Black! This assertion is akin to Anthony Weiner saying Jeffrey Toobin is a pervert.

              It must have stung Sleepy Joe to know that the majority of U.S. citizens believe their financial situation is better during a global pandemic and after being locked down for 8 consecutive months than it was during the Obama-Biden years, but, blaming their memory is just more evidence of his precipitous cognitive decline.

 Biden doesn’t even know where he is much of the time-- and struggles to recall basic facts, occurrences, phrases and names, as well as places. He has even failed to distinguish his wife from his sister. While (apparently) attempting to recite the Pledge of Allegiance recently, he said “We hold these truths to be self-evident,” and added, "All men and women were created by — you know, you know, the thing.” The Thing, Joe?! I realize Democrats are not very familiar with God, but… seriously?

             During that same stop he also mistakenly referred to Super Tuesday as “Super Thursday.”

 At a mid-October stop in Toledo, Ohio, Biden could not come up with Mitt Romney’s name, inelegantly referring to him as “that Senator who was a Mormon, the governor.”

 There are Mormons and there are Morons. Biden is one of the latter.


Wednesday, October 21, 2020

Sesame Street Airs "Anti-Racism" Special


The iconic public television children's show Sesame Street is airing a 30-minute special aimed at teaching children (and families) how to be “anti-racist.” The special helpfully defines “racism” for its young audiences and urges kids to call out others who they suspect of being racist. That will help bring the country together! We desperately need four and five-year-old children running around hurling accusations at others.

“You’re racist, Jimmy!”

“No, you are, Johnny!”

Am not, but your dad is! And he’s homophobic, Islamophobic and sexist, too! And your mom is a slut! So there!”

The half-hour “anti-racist” TV special, entitled, “The Power of We,” is streaming on HBO Max and PBS Kids, and first aired on PBS stations on October 15.

In one skit, a white Muppet tells a Black Muppet that he can’t dress up like a superhero because superheros can only be white, of course. The Black Muppet nonetheless courageously refuses to stop playing superheroes, averring that they can come in all colors. The white Muppet proceeds to apologize and the message “Racism hurts and it’s wrong,” is delivered.

In another vapid vignette, Tamir, a Black 8-year-old Muppet, sings a song entitled, “How Do You Know?” The “song’s” lyrics include, “Hey, Elmo, how would you feel if I said, ‘I don’t like you ’cause I don’t like the color red?'”

 Elmo replies by singing back to Tamir, “Elmo wouldn’t care what you said ’cause Elmo is proud, proud to be red!”

In yet another nod to political correctness and group-think, all the puppet Muppets wear masks during the special.

But that’s not all. Viewers are offered tips for helping their communities fight racism, using tools like chalk drawings and sing-a-long songs. These should work wonders!

And there’s more. Sesame Workshop offers online resources for parents to help guide racial conversations with their child, including suggestions for talking, singing, and even breathing together! With masks on, of course! Feel good yet?

If the special were to be true to today’s values, however, it would show Elmo demanding red-only safe spaces, Tamir pleading for reparations, Big Bird decrying habitat loss and sizeism, Bert & Ernie leading a gay PRIDE! Parade, Miss Piggy decrying ubiquitous misogyny, and Kermit the Frog ceaselessly whining about how hard it is to be a green amphibian in this country, due to systemic racism and speciesism. All characters would appear at the end of the show to “join hands in taking a stand against racism,” while ritually chanting “Orange Man Bad!”


Tuesday, October 20, 2020

CNN Chief Legal Analyst Caught Masturbating On Work ZOOM Call


               CNN Chief Legal Analyst and New Yorker magazine author Jeffrey Toobin was recently caught masturbating while on a ZOOM call with his New Yorker magazine colleagues. The New Yorker has suspended Toobin, while CNN simply says Toobin is taking some time off to attend to a personal matter. Isn’t attending to a personal matter what got Toobin in trouble in the first place?

               The gals at ABC’s “The View” helpfully shared their thoughts on the matter. Co-host and resident attorney Sunny Hostin noted: “If he were physically in an office at work, this would be a fireable offense. There would be grounds for termination." Hostin added, “He was on a virtual work call, but the argument is he was still at work, right?  He was virtually working, and so, you know, he arguably sexualized his workplace.” Co-host Sara Haines thought it was hilarious. Joy Behar joked that it couldn’t happen to her because “I don’t know how to use the technology.” She proceeded to thank Toobin for giving her something to talk about other than Trump and the coronavirus.

               It is wrong that kids in online school “classes” have gotten harassed—or worse—for having a toy gun in view during their ZOOM learning sessions. This is different. Toobin, the 60-year-old chief legal analyst, should have to face some consequences for his actions.

              Toobin has offered an apology for inexplicably taking matters into his own hands during a work-related video conference call. He told something called Motherboard, “I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake, believing I was off-camera. I apologize to my wife, family, friends and co-workers.”

              On second thought, maybe we should cut Toobin some slack. The ZOOM meeting was described as an “election simulation.” He obviously thought it was an “erection stimulation.” It could happen to any of us, no?






Monday, October 19, 2020

Dr. Fauci Says Thanksgiving Should Be Sacrificed


              Who does one believe anymore? The WHO? Or the CDC? Perhaps Dr. Fauci?

              The WHO (not the English rock band) now avers that the lockdowns are unnecessary—indeed counterproductive. But Dr. Robert Redfield, the director of the Center for Disease Control (CDC), recently warned us all that celebrating Thanksgiving at home with family and loved ones this year would be fraught with dire risk. Even more recently, Dr. Fauci, who loves to be the center of attention, had this to say about Thanksgiving gatherings during an interview with Norah O’Donnell of CBS News: “That is unfortunately a risk, when you have people coming from out of town, gathering together in an indoor setting. It is unfortunate, because that’s such a sacred part of American tradition — the family gathering around Thanksgiving. But that is a risk. Given the fluid and dynamic nature of what’s going on right now in the spread and the uptick of infections, I think people should be very careful and prudent about social gatherings, particularly when members of the family might be at a risk because of their age or their underlying condition… You may have to bite the bullet and sacrifice that social gathering.”

              Hopefully, many of you snuck in a quiet Valentine’s Day tryst with your significant other before the lockdown late last winter, because that was the last “holiday” in which your masters in government allowed you to participate. Very early on in the pandemic, celebrating St. Patrick’s Day was deemed problematic, and, a few weeks later, we were told not to even think about acknowledging Easter. After that, we were warned to avoid participating in Memorial Day events. Then we were told not to celebrate Independence Day/The Fourth of July. The likelihood of contracting and/or spreading the coronavirus was added to the always imminent danger of blowing off our body parts while setting off fireworks, the experts said. Then came Labor Day. A great day to acknowledge the working class and the downtrodden victims of capitalism they said, but still we were not to gather in groups of more than six or ten, unless we were protesting/rioting-- in which case, according to “science,” the coronavirus cannot be spread.

              That takes us to Thanksgiving. Can’t be celebrated. Sorry, but there’s nothing to be thankful for anyway. Instead of gathering around the hearth with family and eating turkey, why don’t you rally with thousands of strangers and burn down some private businesses after “liberating” a couple pairs of shoes and a big screen television?

              And progressive commentators and politicians are just barely able to restrain themselves from prematurely announcing a ban on Christmas celebrations and worship as we head towards Year Two of The Lockdown. Look for these mandates to come down in the next few weeks.

              In 2021-- and likely beyond—Juneteenth and Kwanzaa may be the only holidays in which U.S. citizens will be officially allowed to participate.

              COVID-19 is not deadly to any but those who are elderly and who also have comorbidities. We have been the victims of a great hoax. Hopefully, as the other “WHO” (the rock band) put it in a famous song, “We won’t get fooled again.”



Sunday, October 18, 2020

Italian Couple Fined For Public Kiss


              You must remember this, a kiss is still a kiss. Or is it?

              A couple in the northern Italian city of Milan has been fined 400 euros by police after they—gasp!-- kissed each other in public, violating COVID-19 regulations.

              The “incident” occurred on October 9th when the couple, a 40-year-old Italian man and his Polish fiancĂ©e, left their house to stroll to a local restaurant. While walking hand in hand, they kissed each other…and were almost immediately surrounded by police. The officers interrogated the couple noting that they had different addresses on their identification documents, according to the newspaper Il Giornale. Local regulations stipulate that people in public must remain a minimum of several feet away from each other if they are not wearing a mask, unless they are living together, so the polizia di stato promptly issued the fine, despite the man producing photographic evidence that the couple had been engaged for more than two years. The man is appealing the fine…thank the Lord.

              The fundamental things [still] apply as time goes by, do they not? No matter what else transpires, no matter how bad things get, the world will always welcome lovers…right? Apparently not.

  If we have even lost the ability to keep politics and “science” out of our romance and our kisses, we have lost our humanity, our soul.   

              COVID-19 won’t be the end of us, but our elites/experts/leaders/rulers reactions to it might make us wish that it was. It is entirely possible, masked up and locked down, that we may be spared death…only to fervently wish we hadn’t been.

You must remember this
A kiss is still a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by

On that you can rely
That no one can deny
The world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by

Excerpt from “As Time Goes By” (Casablanca)--© 1931 Warner Bros. Music Corporation, ASCAP


Saturday, October 17, 2020

CNN Says Things Will Never Go Back To Normal


A recent article about the coronavirus pandemic opened by stating, “try to take heart in one discomfiting fact: Things are most likely never going ‘back to normal.’” (Yes, who doesn’t “take heart” at “discomfiting” things. Anybody at CNN have a dictionary?)

The piece mocked “back to normal” as a “well-worn phrase” that people “like to lean on,” nothing more than simple-minded “nostalgia for the world of January” when “life more closely resembled our past decades.” Perhaps, the author(s) mused, people yearn for things to “get back to normal” as “a bid to show control, to revert to a time when change was not so universally imposed upon us.” You think? It is, among other things, a desire to get out from under the heel of a tyrannical government and recoup their Constitutional, God-given rights.

The post suggests that those who hold jobs will continue to work from home, that shaking hands and embracing others will be things of the past, and that the majority of our interactions will be virtual rather than in person. It infers that many jobs are not coming back and that certain relatives might just have to continue to die alone, our goodbyes put on hold forever. It cites Thomas Davenport, the president's distinguished professor of information technology and management at Babson College in Wellesley, Massachusetts. The professor states: "Politicians who pretend that 'normal' is just around the corner are fooling themselves or their followers, or perhaps both.” It went on to cite another Davenport remark: “People who suffer tragedies eventually return to their previous happiness level.” Pretty sure that’s not always the case, Tommy. Especially as regards those who once lived in a free society and have had their freedoms taken from them suddenly and capriciously. And, if this CNN article is correct, permanently.

The post notes that people who don’t quickly adapt to change tend to believe that what they remember as “normal” will return someday, and therefore delay modifying their outlook. (I love how leftists frequently put “normal” in quotes, as if it is the most preposterously unknowable word in the English language.) Professor Davenport opined that those who refuse to wear masks may be guilty of “normalcy bias,” the article states, “since they perceive this intrusion into [their] lives as a passing fad they don't need to embrace.” Translation: You do need to embrace it, so just deal with it. Forever. But do we really want to permanently live in a society where a petite young woman is tased and arrested by a policeman for not wearing a facial mask at a sparsely attended outdoor sports event?

The piece says that “permanently severing ties with January is not necessarily a bad thing,” according to psychologists. In fact, “The danger comes from hankering for normalcy again, rather than getting on with working out how to deal with whatever is ahead.” (Emphases mine.) What is “normal” after all? Leave your freedoms, your dignity, your religion and your lonely relatives behind. See, it’s not so bad, is it? You can take heart and worship us, instead. Because, you know, we progressives have your best interests in mind. “Arbeit macht frei, ja?”

The article eerily concludes that, “January is long gone, and it's not coming back. And, psychologists will tell you, that's only bad if you can't come to terms with it.”

It’s “only bad if you can’t come to terms with it?”

One could say that about anything. The Holocaust. Slavery. Painful rectal itch.


Friday, October 16, 2020

Professor Says Free Speech Is Racist


              I stand corrected. I honestly believed that I could never again be exposed to a more insane comment or line of thinking than those to which I’ve already been sadly subjected. I was wrong.

              Naturally, the new nonsense comes from Upper Academia…specifically, Marquette University professor Jodi Melamed. Ms. Melamed gave a lecture titled “Understanding Racial Capitalism and the Open Secret of Racial Capitalist Violence” at St. Olaf college in Northfield, Minnesota, back on April 20th, 2018. I had, somehow, previously avoided her vile verbal effluvium until this past week. Why do leftists need so many words to describe their lectures and books? Perhaps it is tied in with their need to adorn their Priuses with two dozen bumper stickers, none of which are level, making their cars as cluttered as their minds.

              During her lecture, Professor Melamed defined racial capitalism as “a way of thinking about how racial procedures that differentially value and devalue, and devalued human beings are inseparable from capitalist relations of accumulation.” Say WHAT?!

Melamed stated: “In my book I focus on three domains of administration that reproduce capitalist violence as an open secret but all work together in practice. The first is police procedures, the second is the exercise of rights, especially individual rights, property rights, state’s rights [and] ‘free speech’ as well.” I bet her book is a real page-turner. So we should just exchange our local police forces, who are there to protect and serve our communities, for a police state, ban ‘free speech,’ ownership of property, and state’s rights and everything should be tickety-boo? In wanting to do away with the individual rights granted to us by our Creator, she obviously wishes to dispense with Him, too. He must be part of the problem, a supporter of merit-based, patriarchal free markets and white supremacy…and probably a transphobe, at that. Good riddance!

The anything-but-Divine Ms. M claims that the “dirty secret” is that socialism “has worked well” when practiced by people of the same group, but that as societies become more “racialized,” members of the majority conspire to limit welfare benefits for minorities. This is only wrong in…every single respect. Saying that true Socialism has never worked well anywhere it’s ever been tried is an understatement of biblical proportions. It killed more than 100 million people in the Twentieth Century alone. And it is progressives who incessantly seek to “racialize” society, and who demand ever-larger welfare states. In the West, those in the majority, always afraid of being labeled as racist or bigoted, never turn them down.

Madmel Melamed believes free speech is an “abstraction,” and warned of “property supremacists” and those in favor of “the unbridled right of entrepreneurs to accumulate capital.” She also specifically bemoaned the free speech granted to the “radical right’s propagandists who speak on college campuses.” If she was referring to the “radical right” in the political sense, they are almost never allowed on campus and are usually chased away when they are. If she was speaking of those college kids who are zealously in favor of individual rights, it must be the ones who are demanding that tampons be provided in men’s bathrooms.

Melamed believes if we eschew all of our so-called “rights,” we’ll be much better off. Let’s take her advice and let the Big Government bureaucrats who know best control everything and take care of us all. That’s always worked so well historically, has it not?

God, how I love the smell of the Gulag in the morning!  

Thursday, October 15, 2020

United States Navy SEALs, Army Going "Woke"

              The U.S. Navy SEALS have gone woke. Yes, (arguably) the toughest and fiercest group of warriors in the United States military have succumbed to political correctness and progressive dogma. The SEALs recently announced that they have changed their ethos and creed statements to make them gender neutral. Gone are such archaic and triggering terms as “brotherhood” and “man.” These vestiges of a non-inclusive yesteryear have been replaced by more welcoming if less specific terms. For example, their credo, “A common man with uncommon desire to succeed,” has been replaced by “Common citizens with uncommon desire to succeed.” Man Citizen, what an improvement! It’s always a good thing when you can say less with more words!  (I am surprised that progressives haven’t yet demanded the SEALs change their name. I mean, we can’t tolerate marine mammal nomenclature appropriation, can we?)

              If the SEALS are woke, the Army is napping. Literally. The Army recently released new guidelines for soldierly behavior. These include strategic and aggressive napping. The Army’s fitness and training field manual is now called the FM 7-22 Holistic Health and Fitness manual and has deemphasized tough physical challenges in favor of goal setting, visualization, spiritual readiness and getting plenty of rest.

              The freshly-minted FM 7-22 Holistic Health and Fitness manual advises, “Soldiers can use short, infrequent naps to restore wakefulness and promote performance. When routinely available sleep time is difficult to predict, soldiers might take the longest nap possible as frequently as time is available.” The new manual also has helpful tips on how to avoid injury while running, as well as entries on meditation, journaling and how “serving others” can help a soldier realize the “interconnectedness of all things and people.” Is there a section containing folk song lyrics?

              The section promoting quality sleep cautions soldiers to avoid video games, texting and other such activity before bed, and advises the troops to wind down by “listening to soothing music, reading, or taking a warm shower or bath” instead. What, no mention of warm milk and cookies? A furry little puppy? Piped in sounds of a babbling brook? Perhaps sergeants will now read bedtime stories to enlistees and gently caress them as they bid them to enter the land of nod.

              “Don’t Tread On Me” and “Be All You Can Be” just won’t cut it anymore. “Don’t Wake Me” and “Let It Be” are the new mottoes of a formerly formidable force.



Wednesday, October 14, 2020

Minneapolis Hosting Black Flea Market


  Hear ye, hear ye! A Black Flea Market is coming soon to Minneapolis’ Midtown Global market! So, if you are in the market for some Black fleas, be sure to drop by. Actually, the Black Flea Market is a flea market for Black vendors only, whites need not apply. This “progressive” concept is brought to you by the same “progressive” metropolis that held a “Black State Fair” this past August.

              The founder of the BFM, Destinee Shelby, spoke with local KARE-11 television about the event. Shelby, who owns a custom desert business called Baked Brands, said the BFM will be open from 10 a.m. until 6 p.m. on Thursday and Friday, October 16th and 17th, with more than a dozen Black-owned businesses participating. She noted that attendees will find beauty items, candles, clothing and food items at the flea market, and that attendance is free.

              Ironically, many of the local businesses have been dealing with hard times due to the violence and looting that took place in the city last summer, supposedly in support of George Floyd and the Black Lives Matter movement.

              Also ironically, a co-owner of the Midtown Global market stated of the BFM, “This is what we are all about – bringing different cultures together so we can learn and celebrate.” Just not any white ones.

              Segregation is all the rage among progressive peoples of color (POC). We have seen the creation of segregated dorms at colleges, separate graduation ceremonies for black people, etc., etc. And now even a segregated, Blacks only flea market. To bring all sorts of different cultures together…so we can learn and celebrate, of course.

              South Africa’s leaders should have tried that line of reasoning last century. Maybe they should even have put it in tourist literature: “Apartheid—bringing people together since 1948!”



Tuesday, October 13, 2020

Current Events Quiz #7


Regularly Sporadic Current Events Quiz…#7?...(Back by popular request!)

Can You Get A Perfect Score?


1)      Joe Biden recently said he was proud to be running for:

a)       President of the United States

b)      President of the Wilmington, Delaware, chapter of the NAACP

c)       Democratic senator

d)      The bathroom

2)      Joe Biden has, on more than one occasion, forgotten what _______ he was in:

a)       Time zone

b)      State

c)       Era

d)      Galaxy

3)      An MSNBC commentator said the fly that landed on Vice-President Pence’s head during his recent debate with Kamala Harris was:

a)       A sign that Pence doesn’t use the right shampoo

b)      “Icky”

c)       Proof that Pence stinks

d)      The mark of the devil

4)      Experts say the U.S. may soon see colder and snowier than usual weather due to:

a)       Climate change

b)      La Nina

c)       Greta Thunberg being named Time Magazine’s Person of the Year

d)      Winter

5)      Joe Biden recently referred to Mitt Romney as:

a)       The senator who was a Mormon, the governor, okay?

b)      The senator who was a Moron, the governor, okay?

c)       The stiff from Utah who’s not a Jew

d)      The guy who ran the Olympia, you know, that sports thing in Salt Lick City back in the day.

6)      President Trump recently referred to Kamala Harris as:

a)       A shrew

b)      That Indian and Jamaican broad

c)       An older Greta Thunberg for people of color

d)      A monster

7)      Joe Biden thinks the fly that landed on Pence’s head is proof…:

a)       That he doesn’t use the right shampoo

b)      That Pence is President of the Wilmington, Delaware, chapter of the NAACP

c)       Of climate change

d)      That Pence is “icky”

e)      All of the above 

8)      In recent days, mainstream media outlets have accused President Trump of being:

a)       A coronavirus super-spreader

b)      Essentially Hitler

c)       A mass murderer

d)      A tool of Putin

e)      A president with many achievements who has recently quickly beaten the coronavirus

f)        All of the above with the exception of ‘e’

9)      Nancy Pelosi is really…:

a)       Deranged

b)      Scary

c)       Hypocritical

d)      Chuck Schumer in drag

e)      All of the above with the possible exception of ‘d’

10  ) Democrats are terrified of Amy Coney Barrett becoming a member of the Supreme Court of the United States because she…:

a)       Is a Christian

b)      Is not a partisan, radical, left-wing, Democrat

c)       Appears to be entirely sane

d)      Likes children and “fetuses”

e)      Can identify all three branches of the U.S. federal government

f)        All of the above

Correct answers: 1) c 2) b 3) d 4) b 5) a 6) d 7) e 8) f 9) e 10) f…….Let me know if you got them all right!

All of the answers I have indicated as “correct”…are, in fact, correct. The following are some links you can click on if you want to verify this statement:



Monday, October 12, 2020

Barbie Video Laments Racism


Mattel recently posted an official video on its official Barbie YouTube page depicting a cartoon version of the iconic doll talking to her black doll friend Nikki about racism. The virtual Barbie noted that “There is a huge movement going on” and that “Millions of people across the world are standing up to fight against racism.” They are doing this, she said, “because too often and for such a long time, people have been treated unfairly, and in some cases even hurt by others, because of the color of their skin.” I assumed she was talking about Black Lives Matter supporters and Antifa members arbitrarily harassing and assaulting white people, but I was mistaken.

              Virtual Barbie asked Nikki to talk about the clearly systemic racism she faced as a black doll in America. Nikki told Barbie how she was once stopped multiple times by beach security while on a boardwalk, even though she was “doing exactly the same thing” that Barbie was doing—adding, of course, that Barbie was utterly unharassed. Nikki also bemoaned the “fact” that the instructor of their school’s French honor club once told her she “got lucky” when she got the highest score on the club’s entrance test. To which a saddened and guilty-by-association Barbie replied, “What? You speak French better than all of us! Why didn’t you stay in the club to prove him wrong? Nikki responded, “I don’t want to constantly prove and reprove myself.”

              “That means that white people get an advantage that they didn’t earn, and black people get a disadvantage that they don’t deserve!” exclaimed virtual Barbie. She added, “When we don’t say anything, we’re just letting it continue!” Black Dolls Matter!

              USA Today, that bastion of journalistic balance and integrity, was effusive in praising the propaganda video, noting it had gone viral, but forgetting to mention that comments for the video were turned off for some reason. (Probably due to systemic racism.)

              This, of course, is only the beginning. Look for many more “woke” videos to come, helpfully informing youngsters that everyone in the world besides straight, white, male, cis-gendered Christians is hopelessly screwed. They will talk about how minorities in the United States are doomed to a life of squalor and misery at the hands of the reactionary conservative majority. They will not, however, mention that gay people earn more than straight people or that straight, white, male, cis-gendered Christians are themselves a minority, and a singularly abused one at that.

              Nonetheless, I am looking forward to Dora and her friends Alana, Emma, Naiya and Kate lecture Diego and Pablo on misogyny and sexism, with Diego and Pablo accused of “mansplaining” when they attempt to reply. And I can’t wait to hear Barney explain to Baby Bop that dinosaurs “don’t have a chance in this country” due to the rampant—indeed systemic—speciesism.




Sunday, October 11, 2020

New York Cracks Down On Recalcitrant Jews

              After Black Lives Matter riots destroy whole city blocks and Antifa burns down building after building, newspapers like the Washington Post run headlines such as: “Huge, Peaceful Protests Mark Anti-Racism Demonstrations.” Get it?  They’re big, they’re peaceful, and they are against racism! Right.

              Conversely, when many members of Brooklyn’s Orthodox Jewish population recently had the audacity to burn their own facial masks in piles on a sidewalk, the Post ran the following headline: “Brooklyn’s Orthodox Jews Burn Masks In Violent Protests As New York Cracks Down On Rising Cases [Of COVID-19].” The Rotten Big Apple’s mayor, Bill de Blasio, finally found a minority group protest he can’t countenance. He’s cracking down on those diabolical Jews!

              See, to a progressive/leftist, actual violence is “peaceful protest,” but free speech that they don’t agree with is “violence.” Burning down buildings and assaulting “deplorables” are merely forms of social justice. Dismembering babies and vacuuming up their body parts is “women’s health care.” Whereas “misgendering” someone or refusing to deliberately obstruct your own breathing apparatus is a capital offense, punishable to the fullest extent of the law.

              Got it? 

              If you do, you are part of the problem.