Chernobyl Wildlife Thriving

                 A new study of wildlife in the radiation-contaminated ‘Chernobyl exclusion zone’ has found that many large mammal populations- such as elk, deer, wild boar and wolves- are thriving. The findings, in the journal Current Biology, suggest that a nuclear disaster may be less harmful than human encroachment. Yes, apparently, any harm over the decades from radioactive fallout is ‘far outweighed by the benefit of not having humans around.’ Even politically-correct ones, like LGBTQ folks, feminists and socialists? That seems hurtful.

                You see, before the ‘accident,’ mammal population densities were reduced because of human hunting, forestry and agriculture, etc., but after the nuclear tragedy, with humans out of the picture, the animals were able to frolic and reproduce freely without the human menace. Apparently, they were able to simply ignore the radioactive waste around them.

                This must conflict the anti-nuclear crowd and be a source of much consternation to Greenpeace and other liberal organizations.  “Yay nukes!!” Right?!

                Russian officials, asked to comment, replied, “Da, you’re welcome, mammals.”