Saturday, September 30, 2017

Grade School Child Takes A Knee For The Pledge Of Allegiance

             And now we hear of grade school kids taking a knee for the Pledge of Allegiance.

Where will it stop? The answer is: it won’t stop, unless people in the spotlight, such as NFL players, stop “subverting” a “basic civic ritual” in the words of Mark Steyn. They’re kneeling on NFL fields, they’re kneeling at high school stadiums, they’re kneeling in grade school classes. Of course, in the latter case, the kids have no idea what they are really doing. Come to think of it, neither do the lunkheads in the NFL.
Every single norm, every single tenet, every aspect and facet of erstwhile American life is being deliberately and systematically targeted for repudiation by leftists, either directly or through misinformation and coercion. Everything that brings us together is under attack. Every last strand of cohesion is being cut away. Christopher Columbus? Bad. The Founders? Not what we were led to believe. Constitution? “Living document.” First Amendment rights? On campus, no! On football fields, yes! Second Amendment rights? No! White people? Bad. Men? Inept clowns. Successful businessmen? Evil. The free market? Gotta go! Capitalism, too! Christianity? A myth, a joke. Historic statues? Tear them down? The National Anthem? Don’t stand up. The flag? A symbol of colonialism and oppression. The traditional, nuclear family? Bland, boring and banal. Single moms? Should all be beatified. Marriage? Whatever you want it to be. Let your freak flag fly, baby!
Beginning to get the picture? I literally am just getting started. Country music? Cheesy, sexist, twang, romanticizing the old, white, patriarchal America. Hip-hop and rap? “Authentic” and real! Cigarettes? Ban them! Marijuana? Legalize! Liquor stores open on Sunday? Sure!
Policemen? Scary! Mosques? Let’s hear it for diversity! Islamophobia? Scary! Trump? Sexist lout! Bill Clinton? Most revered ex-President! Men and women? Ha, there are 63 or more genders! Cars? Bad! Bicycles? Good! Football? Too violent? Antifa? Social justice warriors! The Electoral College? A remnant of a by-gone age that’s stolen two recent elections from Democrats!
But...back to kneeling again. It would be pointless to kneel in protest of Christianity. I mean, people might assume you’re praying. Perhaps social justice warriors protesting Christianity will stand if asked to kneel in prayer and sit when asked to stand. Or, to make their feelings even more clearly known, perhaps they’ll take a piss and/or defecate on the “Pew"…or on a Christian.
After all, Odell Beckham, Jr. got down on all fours like a dog, lifted his leg, and mimed taking a leak in the end zone last Sunday, during the Giants game with the Eagles in the City of Brotherly Love. But hey, if NFL players do it has to be okay.
I’m sure it was just a form of protest against the mistreatment of (K9-Unit) German Shepherds at the hands of the police.

Remember, there is freedom of speech on the football field. 

Friday, September 29, 2017

American Made: The Movie

“American Made,” a new movie starring Tom Cruise, hits theaters across the fruited plain today. The original title of the flick was “Mena,” the name of the Arkansas town that supposedly had a clandestine airfield that was utilized to smuggle guns and drugs to and from Latin America during the time Bill Clinton was governor. According to a story in The Hollywood Reporter, the film “was poised to be the rare movie that could unite those on either side of the political divide. After all, it's based on the one conspiracy theory that implicates both Bill Clinton and George H.W. Bush in a massive operation that involved cocaine smuggling, money laundering and illegal arms exporting.”
                The original script, written by Gary Spinelli, contained a scene showing the then Governor Clinton getting a lap dance at an Arkansas strip club. The Reporter article says that was “the moment when the movie's real-life protagonist Barry Seal, played by Tom Cruise, hatches an idea to enlist Clinton, who was then governor of Arkansas, in the CIA-backed scheme.” It then states, in the very next sentence: “The scene was nixed from the Gary Spinelli-penned script because the producer and financier, Cross Creek Pictures, wanted to keep the film from being political, according to sources.”


Apparently, portraying two former presidents as involved in a clandestine plot to launder money and smuggle drugs and guns between Latin America and the United States isn’t political but showing one of them getting a lap dance is?
We’ve all been needlessly cheated out of some potentially fantastic dialogue. I can almost hear then Governor Clinton talking to his dancer: “Oh, baby, this is the best movement I’ve ever been behind, I’ll tell you that right now! If you know what I mean, sweet cheeks, heh, heh! That’s right, the Back Sides Matter Movement is a movement I can get behind all day long, darlin,’ and I mean that!”

Thursday, September 28, 2017

Green Bay Packers Urge Fans To Side With Team, NFL

The Green Bay Packers released a statement Tuesday asking their fans to participate in their showing of support for the recent NFL #TakeaKnee protests before Thursday night’s game at Lambeau Field: “Join us this Thursday by locking arms with whoever you’re with, stranger or loved one, wherever you are—intertwined and included—in this moment of unification.” It also stated: “Let’s work together to build a society that is more fair and just.”
Think about that for a moment. On the surface, some of the words sound nice, but the team effectively asked its fans to side with it- and the NFL at large- over their "unfair" and "unjust" country. “Join with us” the Packers pled…in solidarity with our amazing athletes! As if loyalty to a professional sports league should somehow supersede loyalty to one’s country… the country that spawned the league. As if the league were a worthier entity than the nation as a whole.
                “Yes, yes, we know about the Declaration of Independence, the Bill of Rights, the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln, World War II, etc., etc. That’s all well and good, but did you see our game against the Falcons last week? That’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout!”

                The National Felons League trots out its wealthy, entitled thugs to chase a pigskin around in tax-payer funded stadiums that cost more to build than the GDP of many small nations and are owned by even wealthier entitled thugs. It expects us to give its players all due respect when they go out of their way to disrespect our National Anthem and flag.

                And now it asks its fans to side with the league in its dispute with America?! Apparently, it’s not just its players that have brain damage.

 “The NFL- it’s not just for entertainment anymore!” 

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

America: 2047

Somewhere in Red State America
Circa 2047
Two Friends Discussing Current Events

Noah: “Have you been paying attention to the news lately, Emma?”

Emma: “Yeah. Especially the demands for statues, busts and monuments to come down.”

Noah: “I know. I saw videos of the protesters rallying in the Smithsonian yesterday and vandalizing the bust of Margaret Sanger.”

Emma: “I’m with them. Can you believe someone would put up a monument to a monster like that? I mean, she essentially founded Planned Parenthood.”

Noah: “Yeah, she was hugely pro-abortion and wanted to thin-out the black race! How stupid and callous were people back then? How did her bust make it until now…in the Smithsonian, yet?!”

Emma: “Incredible. Abortion killed roughly 60 million babies between the years 1973 and 2017 alone! That’s well over five times the number of people who were exterminated during the Holocaust. We didn’t put up any monuments to Hitler, Goebbels and Eichmann as I recall.”

Noah: “And it’s over 50 times more lives than the U.S. has lost in all the wars we've fought in our history, from the Revolutionary War through Gulf War II and the early years of the War on Terror. Mindboggling.”

Emma: “It really is. And it’s a disgusting stain on our history. For decades, there was an abortion done about every 30 seconds in the U.S.”

Noah: “I was glad to see protesters demanding that the stars of those who’ve had abortions be removed from the Hollywood Walk of Fame.”

Emma: “More like the Walk of Shame if you ask me. They should remove  the tributes to Joan Collins, Shelley Winters, Penny Marshall, and the like. Even some of the greatest starlets from ‘The Golden Era’ of Hollywood, like Ava Gardner and Rita Moreno, aborted their babies. Why did people go out of their way to honor and commemorate that?”

Noah: “I don’t know Em, I guess people just like celebrities, but, hey, they believed in global warming, too! And we’ve had three of the coldest winters in history this decade already- and scientists are trying to figure out how to stave off another ice-age!”

Emma: “Of course, they claim they just predicted ‘climate change,’ and now say this ‘man-made cooling’ is irrefutable, a settled scientific fact.”

Noah: “Yeah, the glaciers and ice-shelves are growing, and the sea-levels are dropping. Guess we won’t have to worry anymore about building an Ark.”


Somewhere in Blue State America
Circa 2047
Two Friends Discussing Current Events

Avery: “Damn, it’s cold!”

Eden: “No shit!”

Avery: “Hey, you catch the news today?”

Eden: “You mean that tackle football has been banned outright, at all levels?”

Avery: “No, I mean—"

Eden: “Oh, yes I did! The ‘Love Knows No Bounds’ marriage law was passed! Isn’t that fantastic?!”

Avery: “It’s only the best law, like, EVER!”

Eden: “It’s about time!”

Avery: “No shit. How could it take so long for hatred and bigotry to be overcome?”

Eden: “Well, there still are a lot of ignorant, intolerant, assholes out there. Fascist monsters! Remember, it was only a few years ago that polygamy was legalized.”

Avery: “True, but this is a great victory for the marginalized; especially the bestiality, incest and necrophilia communities. Hell, for humanity, man!”

Eden: “Don’t call me man! Not today, anyway. Tomorrow it might be cool. But your right, I’m so happy for the BIN community! ‘BIN Pride,’ baby! I can’t wait for their parades!”


               (Note to leftist statue fighters/vandalizers: It is easy to judge someone’s beliefs and actions in the past through the lens of the present. Are any of us enlightened folks certain that we would see things exactly the same way we now view them if we had lived two or three hundred years ago? Hmmm? Would you and I somehow have believed the earth was round if we had lived before the time of Aristotle?). 

NFL Anthem Antics

                Francis Scott Key wrote the American National Anthem, “The Star-Spangled Banner,” in Baltimore, Maryland on September 13th, 1814. He was moved to do so after a prolonged British attack on Fort McHenry during the War of 1812 failed to cause the Americans holding the fort to surrender. He saw the tattered American flag still flying after the unsuccessful British assault and penned a few lines which would eventually be immortalized…and adopted as the nation’s official song.
                Two-hundred and three years later, many of the players on the National Football League’s Baltimore Ravens (and the Jacksonville Jaguars) took to their knees to explicitly dishonor the song- and their country-  as it was played before their game…in London, England.
                All of the same players- on both teams- then promptly stood for the playing of England’s “God Save the Queen,” which features lyrics hoping that Her Majesty will be able “Long to reign over us.” No intimations of subservience or slavery there!
                The vast majority of the incredibly wealthy thugs and imbeciles in the National Fatuousness League have absolutely no idea that the War of 1812 ever took place. Or, in today’s pathetic parlance, “was a thing.”
                Recently, the monument to Key in Bolton Hill was vandalized, the words “racist anthem” spray-painted on his statue. Now, completely clueless NFL players are vandalizing his song, the American National Anthem.
                What these pharisaical players have really “accomplished” is the vandalizing of the most diverse, successful, tolerant, and free nation in the history of the world.
                The “protests” they have started may well accomplish what the British could not…203 years ago.
                Tim Tebow was routinely mocked for acknowledging God while on the field by taking a knee for a brief prayer, a gesture derisively referred to as "Tebowing." The players who are currently "protesting" are routinely- and ironically- praised by the intelligentsia for "taking a stand."
                It would behoove Americans, en masse, to take to their knees soon...not in protest, but in prayer.
                God save the United States of America.

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Government Bans Married Couple From Having Sex

                A British court has awarded a man with Down Syndrome almost $13,000 because the government banned his wife from having sex with him after alleging that he wasn’t competent enough to give consent to sexual relations. Yet, prior to the ban, the man had a healthy sexual relationship with his wife of five years, court documents show.
                According to Fox News, the buggering ban was instituted after “a psychologist for a local government entity- which was not identified to shield it from criticism- assessed the 38-year-old man and found him to lack the mental competence to willfully engage in conjugal relations, the court documents say.”
                Lacked the competence? They’d been doing it for at least five years! And they were legally married! Clearly, it’s the government that lacked the effing competence, yet simultaneously possessed an overabundance of tyrannical tendencies! The government should get its prodigious nose out of their bedroom- and genitalia- and get back to doing what it does best, devising Machiavellian ways of fleecing its citizens out of their hard-earned cash.
                It gets worse. A court council warned the man’s wife that having sex with her husband would make her guilty of a serious crime. And the man was ordered to attend a sex education course before he would be allowed to resume relations with his wife. (What the hell did they think they needed to teach him)? Of course, if she had simply gone outside the marriage for her sexual needs, it would have been no big deal.
                Sadly, the course was delayed for over a year. The case had its inception after the man’s sister took her concerns about the delay to the Court of Protection. What’s more, “the man” had to take two courses, because, though his “therapist” said he made “sufficient progress” in the first one, the therapist averred he hadn’t yet demonstrated an adequate understanding of sexually transmitted diseases.
 I say again, the man had been in an exclusive relationship with his wife for five years.
The judge, Sir Mark Headley, admitted in a court document that the man earned damages due to the “deprivation for at least 12 months of normal conjugal relations with his wife.” Headley also stated: “The impact at the time must have been profound, not only for the loss of sexual relations, but for two other matters peculiar to him. First, he would have been unable to understand why what was happening should be so. And secondly, in order as she put it, ‘not to lead him on,’ the wife understandably and foreseeably withdrew to another bedroom and withheld much physical affection.”
The court document itself stated that the case was highly unusual because it pertained to a “settled, monogamous and exclusive married relationship,” and tacitly admitted that cases that touch on competence to decide to engage in sex normally involve people seen as vulnerable to exploitation or abuse.
This is a sick and shocking case of government abuse and nannyism. Today’s Western governments see to it that minors can have a federally funded abortion without notifying their parents. They continually prostrate themselves before the LGBTQIA “community,” and unequivocally state their support for transgender rights and gay marriage. They do everything in their power- and many things that aren’t supposed to be- to reward out of marriage sex and perversions of every kind. They also purport to care more about those with disabilities than the “average Joe.” Yet, they now claim the right to tell a heterosexual married couple they can’t have intimate relations, under penalty of law?
If the British government had attempted to tax Colonists’ intercourse, or had banned- or interfered with- their conjugal relations in this manner, history would have recorded the Boston Sex Party. Puritans not excluded. And the British would’ve been even more royally screwed.
My advice to “the man” who was essentially mentally and physically assaulted by the “local government entity?”
As you Brits say, “Keep your pecker up, old boy!”

And f**k the government.


Monday, September 25, 2017

Hillary's Hilarious Hypocrisy

                Hillary Clinton recently appeared on MSNBC’s morning show AM Joy. During an interview with host Joy Reid, the former Secretary of State bemoaned the fact that sexism still exists in America. She noted that, though more women voted for her than Donald Trump, she lost the white women’s vote, quickly adding that progress was still made because she won more votes from white women than former President Barack Obama did.
                Mrs. Clinton, who has accused Trump of making sexist remarks, was asked for her thoughts on women who continue to support him. She said: “When I see women doing that, I think why are they publicly disrespecting themselves? Why are they opening the door to have someone say that about them in their workplace? In a community setting? Do they not see the connection there?”
                Seriously? Talk about preposterous statements! This can’t possibly be true. She couldn’t possibly have said that… could she have? She did, proving that she is not only not The Smartest Woman in America, but that she is dangerously dense, unaware, and out-of-touch. I’m guessing you won’t read this take in the mainstream media, but it is undeniably true none-the-less: this is an unprecedented, almost unbelievable case of the pot calling the kettle black.
                Hillary publicly disrespected herself by supporting, staying with- and continually covering for- her own husband as he blithely, physically, and sexually, harassed woman after woman. Why did she- repeatedly- open the door to allow people to make snide remarks about her in the workplace she and her husband shared. Community setting? The People’s House! Her husband, President of the United States of America at the time, cheated on her with a young intern, in the White House, and lied about it under oath, leading to his impeachment. She defended him, though deep down she knew he was a serial rapist who bragged about the staggering number of women he’d “had.”
                Monica Lewinsky, Gennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Kathleen Willey, Elizabeth Ward Gracen, Sally Perdue, Dolly Kyle Browning… the list of Bill Clinton’s known- and alleged- adulterous conquests goes on and on and on… and still she stood at his side.

                Does she not see the connection there? 

Sunday, September 24, 2017

Political Football

                “Trump goes to war with NFL, NBA” read the headline on the front page of the Minneapolis StarTribune. There you have it, precisely worded and completely free of bias.
                I don’t believe the president has flown B1 bombers over the league’s offices yet, or even opened up with small arms fire, but, hey, the mainstream media simply reports the truth, fair and balanced, right?
                So, who fired the first shot? Well, the banner headline was above an article written by Adam Kilgore and Abby Phillip of the Washington Post. The first sentence of that article states: “President Donald Trump has turned professional sports into a political battleground, directing full-throated ire toward black athletes who have spoken out against him and prompting a sharp rebuttal from the NFL and prominent sports figures.” This statement is simply false, wrong on two levels. Fake news.
                First, President Trump did not turn professional sports into a political battleground, a relative few professional athletes did, by refusing to stand for the national anthem. Period. Irrefutable. This has been occurring for going on two years now. Trump was just responding to their actions. Secondly, he did not direct his ire specifically at “black athletes.” Period. Irrefutable. He directed his ire at those athletes refusing to stand for the anthem, whether they be black, white, yellow, red, brown…or fuchsia with green hair and a rod sticking out of their ass.
                Let me be clear: this may have been a dumb (although minor) mistake on the part of the president, an “unforced error” as it were. I don’t know that he should have weighed in on the matter, and have never been a big fan of some of his tweets.
                However, listen to Roger Goodell’s response to the president’s remarks: “Divisive comments like these demonstrate an unfortunate lack of respect for the NFL, our great game and all of our players, and a failure to understand the overwhelming force for good our clubs and players represent in our communities.”  Yes, especially when they aren’t incarcerated. How incredibly arrogant on the part of the NFL commissioner. To paraphrase Winston Churchill: there, but for the grace of God…goes God. This pompous ass thinks his league is “pulling the country together.” In reality, he- and the league- need to pull their act together.
                Let’s completely reverse Goodell’s sentiments, and craft a logical, well-prioritized statement addressing the issue:
                “Divisive actions like that of these players refusing to stand for our national anthem demonstrate an unfortunate lack of respect for the flag, our great nation and all of those who have served her, and a failure to understand the overwhelming force for good they represent in our country and around the world, as evidenced by American military cemeteries in France, England, Italy, Belgium, the Netherlands and Tunisia, to name a few.”
                Memo to Goodell: the average NFL fan makes 40, 50, 60 grand a year. Do you really think he or she wants to watch players with 40, 50, 60 million dollar contracts whine and protest about the injustice in this land? Does this make sense to you, pinhead? 
                Do the players have a right to protest? Maybe so, but then, obviously, others have the right to counter-protest without being labeled “divisive.” Trump himself never said they “didn’t have the right” to protest. In fact, no one’s contesting that, which is one reason why it’s so pointless and destructive. He simply said that he wishes some owner would fire one or more of those protesting. Yet, I’ve heard some ask, “What other workers in what other jobs can have their rights taken away?” Well, let’s see. Can you drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes on the job in your workplace? No? Why not, they are both legal products? Can you show up whenever you want to? The left has an endless supply of infantile “arguments.”
                And what of the reason for these protests? In point of fact, almost all blacks murdered are killed by other blacks. But no one seems to care about this truism, least of all other blacks. Yet, the infinitesimally small percentage of blacks shot by police officers- in the line of duty- is cause for protests, righteous outrage, and violence.
                Colin Kaepernick wore socks with policemen depicted as pigs, during an NFL game last year. Leftists can wear apparel with appeals for violence, can openly sell shirts stating: “All White People Are Racist,” but kids are expelled from school for sporting a “Make America Great Again Hat,” and adults are assaulted for the same “offense.” (Thus proving their point).
                So, we’ve come to this: wealthy, pampered, spoiled brats “virtue emoting,” thereby putting tremendous pressure on their teammates, who may love and/or respect their country, but also want to stand with their teammates…all of their teammates. You know, like all-for-one and one-for-all. The military creed. Leave no one behind. But, no, these misguided morons have to foster division, tension, chaos. The American motto of E Plurubus Unum…out of many, one…is being reversed…E Unum Plurubus…out of one, many. Everything is now viewed through a prism of identity politics. It is the ruination of the American Dream.
                Coincidentally, I just saw a new study showing that bi-sexual Polish-Americans born on a Thursday in October (The BPABTO community) don’t do as well economically as other groups. This can only be attributed to bias and bigotry. The deck is stacked against them in this society. They have no chance. I hope and trust they will protest this clear abuse long and hard.
                We are witnessing the unravelling of the very fabric of the United States. The country is about to come apart at the seams. There are far too many seams. All of her principles, all of her tenets, are under attack. Disunion and divisiveness rule the day.  This is all part of the left’s plan. It is their wet dream. Screw tradition. Eff the traditional family, traditional marriage, religion, even gender and the understanding of what it means to be male or female. The left insists there are more “varieties” of gender than Heinz has…of food products.
                Let’s just get rid of borders, language and culture and see what happens. This is why the left has forcibly taken over our culture, wants open borders, and lobbies against English being recognized as the sole official language of the United States.
                These trite anthem protests are spreading to baseball and other sports now, and trickling down to youth leagues, as if the kids could fully comprehend their actions.  What could be the long-term harm? So, let’s screw the anthem. Let’s pass a law forbidding the playing of the xenophobic tune at all sporting events, at all levels, spelling bees, truck rallies, and anywhere else it may be proffered. “America the Beautiful” and “God Bless America,” too. God? How Gauche! Let’s ban the Pledge of Allegiance. Let’s get rid of “Old Glory” itself. Hell, let’s ban the wearing of red, white and blue apparel or accessories!
                Are you feeling it now? Let’s trash tradition in all its forms! Forget saying “hello,” “how are you?” “please,” or “goodbye.” Don’t offer to give up your seat to an elderly or handicapped person. Nor a pregnant woman. And let’s wear no damn clothes at all.
                I have long been a fan of NFL football. But, like many others, I now am considering “fundamentally changing” my opinion. The NFL’s Television ratings and attendance have sharply declined in the past year. The league- and the country- are both in need of a successful “Hail Mary.”
                Roger… Roger?

                Over and out.

Saturday, September 23, 2017

See No Evil?

                Recently, defectors from North Korea have described the unspeakable atrocities regularly occurring in the Hermit Kingdom. Though it is necessary to pull back the curtain so the world might be made aware, it is intensely upsetting to get a glimpse of what goes on, especially since one knows it is unlikely that the light will ever be let in.
                Hee Yeon escaped from Pyongyang in 2015 and currently resides in Seoul. She told The Mirror that Kim Jong-Un’s officials often took teenage girls from their schools to serve as the Dear Leader’s sex slaves. She said the prettiest girls were taken away to work in one of Kim’s “hundreds of homes around Pyongyang.”
                “They learn to serve him food like caviar and extremely rare delicacies. They are also taught how to massage him and they become sex slaves. Yes, they have to sleep with him and they cannot make a mistake or object because they could very easily simply disappear." Yeon stated that Kim liked to indulge in $2,700 “bird’s nest soup,” caviar, and other imported dishes. This at a time when the rest of the country suffers from extreme poverty…and rampant starvation.  
                American “feminists,” how bad is your life here? Where’s your outcry?
                Yeon recounted standing in a crowd of 10,000 people forcibly assembled to watch the execution of 11 musicians who allegedly made a pornographic video. (We’ve already seen what a prude the Dear Leader is). She says the men were tied up and gagged. “What I saw that day made me sick in my stomach. They were lashed to the end of anti-aircraft guns. A gun was fired, the noise was deafening, absolutely terrifying. And the guns were fired one after the other. The musicians just disappeared each time the guns were fired into them. Their bodies were blown to bits, totally destroyed, blood and bits flying everywhere…and then, after that, military tanks moved in and they ran over the bits on the ground where the remains lay.”
                BLM, still think Trump’s a monster?
                Another defector, Park Ju-yong, says he “grew up in a North Korean prison camp for more than two decades.” He said that women who became pregnant after being raped by guards were removed from the camp and “secretly killed by guards,” according to the UPI. Ju-yong claims that the executions were gruesome and involved “thousands of stones.” Prisoners were made to stone fellow prisoners or face execution themselves if they didn’t participate. “People would throw their rocks hard. Each time the rock would hit the victim, their bodies would burst with blood. Their flesh would fall off until you could see their bones, and they would die without execution by gun.”
                He also said that after the pregnant women were executed, their babies/fetuses were fed to guard dogs. Even Planned Parenthood might balk at this practice.
                The Bible clearly states that evil exists. And must be dealt with. Yet, even if one is not religious, these accounts are beyond appalling. What if a member of your family was victimized like this?  
                The deluded leftists in the West that don’t believe in good and evil, or right and wrong, are just as guilty of these crimes against humanity as the heinous junta that currently heads up the Hermit Kingdom.


Friday, September 22, 2017

Kim Jong-Un, KCNA Attack Trump, U.S.A.

             Even the New York Times (“The Truth!”) isn’t as blatantly biased as the Korean Central News Agency. Nor is it nearly as funny. Well, it’s almost as biased, but nowhere near as funny. The former is in large part because the KCNA is state-run, and must be the government’s lackey and mouthpiece under punishment of death. The Times, on the other hand, is deep-state-run, and only acts as a governmental mouthpiece when Democrats are in power, lest those associated with it be shunned, mocked, denigrated, and/or left uninvited to all the swankiest establishment soirées. The latter is because the Times takes itself too seriously.
 South Korea recently reached an agreement with the U.S. to remove warhead weight limits on its ballistic missiles to allow them to fly further in response to the Hermit Kingdom’s existential threat. The KCNA then further burnished its reputation for literary lunacy by characterizing the agreement as the “South Korea puppet army” acting like “a rabid dog startled by thunder.”
Good one.
But, turns out, it was just warming up. It added: “Such attempt after the DPRK’s ICBM launch and H-bomb test is no more than a ridiculous act of a mudfish trying to become a dragon in the sky. This is a special cartoon showing their poor position as puppet and colonial servant who can do nothing without approval of the master.”
Wow. Hard to characterize that. “Mudfish trying to become a dragon in the sky?” At least it’s not a cliché.
And, after the United Nations passed a measure imposing additional sanctions on the rogue nation, it reported the pudgy Pyongyang Psycho’s vow that, in retaliation, North Korea was “ready to use a form of ultimate means,” and that the U.S. would be made to feel the “greatest pain it has ever experienced in its history.” The KCNA apparently forgot that we lived through a civil war and the Carter presidency.
Still more recently there was this report: “Through the two successful ICBM test-launches the DPRK has put the whole U.S. mainland in its striking range and clearly showed that it can turn the American empire into a sea in flames through sudden surprise attack from any region and area. Whatever means and methods the U.S. may employ, they will never work on the DPRK. The U.S. fate is in the hands of the DPRK. If the U.S. and South Korean warmongers persist in reckless action in disregard of our repeated warnings, we will decisively take a strong retaliatory step.” Avoiding redundancy is clearly not a strong suit of North Korean ‘journalists.’
An editorial in a different state-run paper described the U.S. as a “war merchant living on human blood,” while the KCNA claimed the U.S. “would meet horrible nuclear strike and miserable and final ruin” if it attacked the Hermit Kingdom.
It also stated: “The DPRK has won a shining victory in the standoff with the U.S. Now no one can disregard the immense national strength and potentiality of the DPRK and deny its strategic position as a responsible nuclear weapons state with a great clout.” Responsible? Responsible nuclear weapons states don’t tout their “great clout.”
Fairly bursting now with false-pride and fanatical fervor, the paper could not contain itself: “The U.S. has tightened sanctions and blockade by mobilizing its vassal forces to stifle the DPRK. But it could not check the advance of the army and people of the DPRK. The U.S., styling itself as a superpower while boasting of its strength before other big powers, is in mortal fear of the DPRK.”
The preposterously partisan paper published even more recent statements from the Dear Leader, in which he called President Trump a “mentally deranged U.S. dotard.” This had to have caused many in the American mainstream media to doff their caps to Jong-Un, as that’s essentially the same way they themselves characterize the president, though I haven’t heard of any going quite so far into their thesauruses. Jong-Un also called Trump’s U.N. speech “unprecedented rude nonsense.” We all know the Dear Leader would never be “rude.”
Finally, KCNA reports, Kim Jong-Un boasted: “I will make the man holding the prerogative of the supreme command in the U.S. pay dearly for his speech. I am now thinking hard about what response he could have expected when he allowed such eccentric words to trip off his tongue. Whatever Trump might have expected, he will face results beyond his expectation,” Kim said, adding that he would “tame” Trump “with fire.”

The KCNA…fair and balanced.

The New York Times couldn’t have said it better.

Thursday, September 21, 2017

"Rocket Man"

            President Trump recently started referring to the crazy, corpulent North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un as “Rocket Man.” That, of course, made me re-imagine a popular song so titled. So, here goes:

She packed my weed last night, pre-fight
Hero hour nine a.m.
And I’m gonna be high, as a kite by then
I grow my girth so much, it bums my wife
It’s lonely in my place
With such an endless plight

And I think it’s gonna be a long, long time
With people starving and losing their minds
I’m not the man they think I am at home
Oh, no, no, no, I’m the “Rocket Man”
“Rocket Man,” dishing out abuse like Sly Stallone

And I think it’s gonna be a long, long time
With people starving and losing their minds
I’m not the man they think I am at home
Oh, no, no, no, I’m the “Rocket Man”
“Rocket Man,” dishing out abuse like Sly Stallone

Ours ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids
In fact, it’s cold as Hell
And there’s no food here to feed them, if you did
And all this science, I don’t understand
It’s just my job, seven days a week
A “Rocket Man,” a “Rocket Man”

And I sure hope that it won’t take too much time
Till more launches bring Trump ‘round again to find
I’m not the man he thinks he can cow-tow
Oh, no, no, no, I’m the “Rocket Man”
“Rocket Man,” Ri Sol-ju’s gonna leave me alone

And I sure hope that it won’t take too much time
Till missile launches bring Trump ‘round again to find
I’m not the man he thinks he can cow-tow
Oh, no, no, no, I’m the “Rocket Man”
“Rocket Man,” Kim Ju-ae wants to see me overthrown

And I think I really need a bong this time
And I’m glad I didn’t wear a thong this time
And I think that I may have bet wrong this time
And I think the U.S. may be strong this time
And I think we may be getting ‘gonged’ this time
Holy shit, perhaps this was the wrong, wrong time?

Etc., etc., etc., etc….

Spoof loosely based on the song, “Rocket Man”: Songwriters: JOHN, ELTON / TAUPIN, BERNARD J.P.
 © Universal Music Publishing Group

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Venezuelan Leader: "Let Them Eat Rabbits"

            Venezuela is going down the rabbit hole…literally. Years of socialist policies under the iron rule of dictators Hugo Chavez and Nicolas Maduro have spawned an existential economic crisis and led to millions of people starving and countless thousands desperate for medical treatment. Supplies of food and medicine are almost non-existent in the formerly well-off South American nation. The average Venezuelan lost 19 pounds last year alone, and that wasn’t due to a Weight Watchers regimen. It was related to a hate-watchers program, one in which criticism of the Marxist government could land one in prison.
This has excited many on the left in the U.S., who are gleefully utilizing these same tactics to mock, chastise, coerce, browbeat, and threaten those who disagree with them, and prevent them from even having a public forum. Oddly enough, they have been remarkably successful, even though they don’t have control of the elected government here. This is because they do have control of the culture.
Things are so bad in Venezuela that current President Nicolas Maduro actually recently introduced a “Rabbit Plan” that encourages his country’s citizens to start eating rabbits rather than keeping them as pets.” This is an entirely new definition of “rabbit food.” Cats and dogs will surely be next on Little Venice’s menu.
You know your leaders have put one over on you when they start begging you to eat your pet rodents. But this is nothing new when one examines the sordid history of command economies. Venezuelans can no longer afford to breed like rabbits. Now, they have to try to find a way to pull a rabbit out of a hat, to save themselves and their nation.
Margaret Thatcher famously said: “The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people’s money.”

And your own rabbits. 

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

California High School "Enslaves" Students

                 A High School in Cerritos, California, a suburb of Los Angeles, is taking flak for the unconventional and controversial way it went about teaching students about the history of slavery. KCAL-9, a local CBS television station, reported that a mother recently complained after getting an email from her son’s teacher explaining the “unique classroom activity.” The “activity,” which was to be a surprise, would entail teachers and staff acting as slave ship captains, while the students would be the slaves. The email further stated that staff would line the kids up, “use masking tape to ‘tie’ their wrists together, make them lay on the ground, and in a dark room have them watch a clip from the film ‘Roots.’”

                That is eerily reminiscent of how I spent this past Saturday night…but that’s another story.

                The school has decided to dispense with the project due to parental concerns.
                One student remarked: “No, you definitely don’t need to pretend to be a slave, but it was another hands-on experiment used to simulate slavery.” Another hands-on slavery simulation?
                LaMonica Bryson, a Whitney High School English teacher, also agreed with the decision, saying: “I think there are other ways to teach tolerance and maybe even better ways and best practices to broach these sensitive topics.” There may be even better ways to teach tolerance?! I, for one, would be reluctant to inquire as to what those may be.
                Does the school bring in E.L. James to talk to the kids about a different form of bondage and discipline? Perhaps tie them to their chairs, pass out whips and ticklers, and have them watch a clip from the film “Fifty Shades of Grey?”

                Here’s hoping the school uses starkly different methods to teach its students about, say, anal sex…or the death penalty.

Monday, September 18, 2017

If Nancy Pelosi Was President Of The United States

                           If Nancy Pelosi Was President Of The United States

October 10, 2017
White House Press Conference:

President Pelosi: “I want everyone to know, I’ve tried hard to work with President Bush, but- “

Reporter: “You are the president, ma’am!”

President Pelosi: “Oh, well you have to elect me so you can see what I’d do, what policies I’d- “

Reporter: “Again, you are president, Madam President.”

Rep. Maxine Waters: “Um, of Korea.”

Reporter: “No, Representative Waters, of the United States.”

Former President Obama: “All 57 of them!”

Reporter: “Anyway, President Pelosi, since Vice-President RuPaul has stepped down over, ummm, well, you know… "ethics concerns," the people want to know who you’d pick to replace him, if you had your druthers. Or who you might pick as your running-mate in the re-election campaign for 2020.”

President Pelosi: “My brothers? No, I don’t think…gosh…that I’d pick one of my brothers…”

Reporter: “Druthers, President Pelosi, druthers. Well, never mind- “

President Pelosi: “I do have a short list of those I’m considering.”

Reporter: “Please…”

President Pelosi: “Let’s see, Frank, there’s- “

Reporter: “It’s Wolf, Madam President…Wolf Blitzer.”

President Pelosi: “You’re wrong, Frank. Blitzer is a reindeer. You know, like Dancer and Prancer and- “

Wolf Blitzer: “For God’s sake! Um, I mean with all due respect, Madam President, please continue with your list. And it’s Blitzen!”

President Pelosi: “Never cry wolf, Blitzen! At least not in a crowded movie theater. Anyhow, where was I?”

Rep. Maxine Waters: “Korea.”

President Pelosi: “Oh, yeah. Well, I am considering Gus Hall, Blitzen. You know he actually ran for president.”

Wolf Blitzer: “That he did, Madam President. Four times, in fact. Lost ‘em all. Unfortunately, however, the old Communist is dead.”

President Pelosi: “Oh my gosh! Did we send flowers?”

Rep. Maxine Waters: “Gennifer Flowers?”

Wolf Blitzer: “Not Gennifer Flowers. And Gus died back in the year 2000, so- “

President Pelosi: “Oh. And there’s also…the head of Planned Parenthood, uh…?”

Rep. Maxine Waters: “Chick Korea?”

Wolf Blitzer: “No, representative Waters, Chick Corea…with a ‘C’… is a jazz pianist. He is not now, nor has he ever been, president of Planned Parenthood. That would be Cecile Richards, ma’am.”

President Pelosi: “I know. I’ve tried very hard to work with President Richards, and- “

Former President Obama: “You are the president, President Pelosi.”

Wolf Blitzer: “Oh, for God’s sake…”


Sunday, September 17, 2017

Kid Rock Concerts Protested

                It is unconscionable- and inexpressibly sad- that the following words were expressed as un-ironic fact in today’s America: “…where civil rights groups hoped to get his gig cancelled due to his political opinions.” This was in a Fox News report referring to a series of Kid Rock concerts at the new Little Caesars Arena in Detroit.
                “Where civil rights groups hoped to get his gigs cancelled due to his political opinions.” If that isn’t the most chilling thing you’ve heard coming out of the United States recently, you simply do not believe in freedom, democracy, or the rule-of-law, i.e. the United States. This is what occurred in the Third Reich and the Soviet Union.
               The First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America guarantees- or I should say, guaranteed- freedom of speech. Hell, Gus Hall of the Communist Party USA was allowed to run for president of the United States. Four times.
  The Satanic Temple recently put up a bronze Baphomet statue in- of all places- Detroit, even as statues of various other sorts are being toppled or hidden around the country. And civil rights groups attempt to ban Kid Rock from taking the stage in that very same city, lest he say something controversial…to leftists?  
              The “Church of Satan” is growing by leaps and bounds even as the number of practicing Christians is declining precipitously. [The “church” was established by Anton Szandor LaVey at the Black House in San Francisco (of course) on April 30, 1966, on Walpurgisnacht, or “witches’ night”].   
              So, communists, Satanists, Keith Olbermann, and assorted other cranks, morons and Devil-worshippers have the right to promulgate their twisted tenets (as they should), but leftists’ boldly attempt to prevent conservatives- or folks holding even mildly traditional views-  from speaking on campus or appearing in an arena? Remarkable. We know academia, Hollywood and the mainstream media are biased. Faux-people take every opportunity when winning an Oscar to spew idiotic, intolerant leftist dogma. Hollywood goes out of its way to satirize and mock Christians- including Jesus Christ Himself-  and Christianity, but would never attempt to lay a finger on Islam.
             The foundation of this country (and the West in general) is rapidly being chipped away, its supports removed, its moorings and underpinnings cut and crushed. Those in control of entertainment, news, education, and, increasingly, even organized religion, believe in no objective truth. Women are seen as not just equal to- but indistinguishable from- men. Sloth is as valued as hard work, and good and evil are considered outmoded constructs of the white, male patriarchy.
            The “Shining City on a Hill” has collapsed. Ronald Reagan’s assertion that it was “Morning in America” was true in a sense at the time, yet described what turned out to be just a brief moment of improved civic health and optimism before the death rattle set in.
            Ironically, this validated another one of his beliefs. He often stated: “Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn’t pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children what it was once like in the United States where men were free.”
           We are now sliding into an endless abyss of amorality and apathy. We are succumbing to a new Theory of Relativity, one in which nothing really matters, and everything- everything- is equally good or bad…or should be.

           We are falling…falling…falling…silently.

           To where nothing…is.  

Saturday, September 16, 2017

Vagina? So What? (The Vagina Demagogues)

                To judge from the signs at various transgender events, it is becoming conventional wisdom that “Not all women have vaginas,” and that “Not all people with vaginas are women.”
                Still…in moments of especial candor, can we not agree that having a vagina is a particularly excellent and accurate indicator that one may be female? I mean, as opposed to say, opposable thumbs. Or red hair.
                If possessing a vagina bears no relation to one’s gender, what does? Oh, I see. Gender, like truth, is unknowable. In which case, “Not all bipeds have two feet,” much as “Not all vertebrates have a spine.” Some vagina-sporting horses may, in fact, be male water-buffaloes. Who’s to say? What if “Not all people are people?”
                To most college-educated millennials and others of a leftist bent, everything is up for equivocation, everything is relative, everything is tolerated or celebrated, except standards and the concept of knowable truth.
Sorry, progressives, but it is a knowable truth that this dogma eventually leads to the absolute breakdown of society…to the needless and tragic detriment of everyone. (Run for your safe spaces now!).
It’s funny that the same people who don’t believe in religion, who instead worship at the altar of Darwin and possess an unshakeable belief in evolution, dismiss sexual complementarity as utterly irrelevant and meaningless.
It’s enough to make one think that all leftists are bereft of reason.

Friday, September 15, 2017

Miss America Pageant Succumbs To Political Indoctrination

                The Miss America Pageant has evolved from an innocent, pure beauty contest into an ugly orgy of political-correctness. The first such pageant in the Trumpian era was, predictably, the most stridently strait-jacketed affair in the contest’s nearly 100-year history. A palpable threat of punishment awaited those contestants who may have eschewed towing the (Democratic) Party line during the question-and-answer sessions. Fortunately, few of the entrants had the temerity to question establishment dogma, or they may well have been escorted off the stage under threat of being sent to a re-education camp in the Gulag Archipelago.
                Miss Missouri was asked whether Trump’s campaign colluded with Russia on the election, after being properly informed by her interrogator that there are “multiple investigations” into the matter. He ended his interrogatory with: “Well, did they? You’re the jury: guilty or innocent and please explain your verdict.” To her credit, Miss Missouri didn’t immediately crack under the verbal water-boarding, stating that she would say innocent at the moment. However, she prudently added: “I think we should investigate it to its fullest extent. If we do find the evidence that they have had collusion with Russia, the justice system should do their due diligence and they should be punished accordingly.”
                Margana Wood, Miss Texas, was asked about the Charlottesville protests, the KKK, white supremacists, and Antifa: “Should Trump have said there were good people on both sides of the protest?” To which Ms. Wood replied that she thought Trump should’ve labeled the white supremacists as terrorists and made a statement designed to make all Americans feel safe. She failed to make any mention of Antifa, of course. Miss Texas added that making sure all Americans feel safe in the country is the “number one issue right now.” You’re not safe if you’re answering a Miss America pageant question anymore, that I can tell you.
                The eventual contest winner, Miss Cara Mund of North Dakota, was asked a third question, one pertaining to the United States pulling out of the Paris Agreement on man-made climate change, and whether it was good or bad. Mund said it was bad (obviously, I mean, like, hello!) because she believes man-made climate change exists and the United States should be at the negotiating table.
                So now there are musical contests, poetry reading, and questions on geo-political exigencies and whether Trump should be impeached? It’s no longer much of a beauty contest, is it?!
                The questions contestants were subjected to were slightly different in the Obama years. For example: “Miss Maine, do you give President Obama all the credit for saving the world, or just most of the credit…and why? And, I have a follow-up question, too. Why do you feel he’s the most handsome of all American presidents?”
                Let’s take a look at what questions Miss America contestants might have been faced with in the past if this year’s inquests had then been the norm.

                1921: “Miss Ohio, do you think the U.S. has been too slow to forgive or defer reparations payments from Germany? And, if so, should President Harding be impeached? Also, a follow-up question…as a contestant in the first ever Miss America pageant, do you worry about helping to enforce cis-gendered ‘normativity’?”
                1942: “Miss Texas, do you worry that, now that the U.S. is engaged in a two-front war, we have become raging colonialists? Moreover, are you appalled by our xenophobia and obvious anti-fascist intolerance? I guess, what I’m asking, is, do you believe FDR should be impeached?”
                1963: “Miss Massachusetts, given the events of last October, and the fact that the U.S. and the U.S.S.R. nearly came to nuclear war, do you believe the reckless philanderer, President John F. Kennedy, should be impeached? If not, why?”
                1980: “Miss Georgia, given the fact that inflation is at historic highs, interest rates are through the roof, economic production is abysmal, gas lines are the norm, and Iran has kept dozens of Americans prisoner into a second year now, would you enthusiastically endorse the impeachment of President Jimmy Carter? And, if not, why?”
                1998: “Miss District of Columbia, since it appears that President Clinton may be a sexual predator, would you support impeaching him? Or should he just be disbarred? Or possibly neutered? Your opinions, and why you hold them please. By-the-way, I loved your little swimsuit. Shazam!”
                2009: “Miss Illinois, President Obama clearly stated that he wants to ‘fundamentally transform America.’ Given that America is the most successful and benevolent country in the history of the world, does this worry you? In your mind, does this mean he disdains the Founders and everything that came before His Preciousness vowed to stop the rising seas and heal all the planet’s wounds? And, if not, why, bitch?”

                 The powers that be will no longer even allow us to observe the exquisite beauty of the female form without being forced to genuflect in the direction of leftist dogma.
                Whether it’s the Oscars, Miss America, Espys, Emmys, or the National Anthem at a football game, inane leftist group-think pervades every single contest and award show held in this nation.
                They will tolerate nothing else. They play only to win.


Thursday, September 14, 2017

Hillary Blames Benghazi...Again?

September 11, 2018
Live On The Set Of NBC’s ‘Today Show’

Savannah Guthrie: “Welcome, Mrs. Clinton, back to the Today Show!”

Hillary Clinton: “Thank you! It’s so good to be back!”

SG: “And you’ve got another new book out! Yayyy!”

HC: “I do!”

SG: “Can you tell us the title and what it’s about?”

HC: “It’s titled, ‘Why Me?’ and it’s about me…and…why I lost the 2016 presidential election!”

Matt Lauer: “Haven’t you covered this ground before? I mean, ‘What Happened.’”

HC: “What happened? I lost the frickin’ election Matt! That’s what happened!”

Al Roker: “I think what Mr. Meanie was trying to say, Mrs. Clinton, is that you’ve previously written a book—a best-seller I might add!—about this same topic. So, what makes this one fresh and new, and the must-read I’m sure that it is?!”

HC: “Thank you, Albert, good point. In this one I reveal the real, true, absolute, no-doubt-about-it reason I so unexpectedly- supposedly- ‘lost’ that election!”

Natalie Morales: “And what is that reason, Mrs. Clinton? Might we have an exclusive?! (beams with anticipation).”

HC: “Well, you know…Benghazi was such a tragedy…it really, I think, hurt my chances to be elected. In retrospect, I really think, as unfair as it was, that Benghazi was the final nail in my campaigns coffin, so to speak.”

Willie Geist: “Benghazi was a tragedy (incredulous, yet pleading look on face)…”

HC: “It certainly was. Just devastating. One which truly hurt me. That is the premise of my new book. Bill, if it wasn’t for the ‘Benghazi eruption,’ I would have been sitting here now as the first woman president of the United States. There’s your exclusive!”

SG: “Umm, wow…Mrs. Clinton, how has ‘Why Me?’ been selling?”

HC: “What difference, at this point, does it make?”


Wednesday, September 13, 2017

"Worst Time To Be A Human?"

                MSNBC’s “Reid Report” and “AM Joy” host Joy Reid was recently interviewed by Vulture.  During the interview, she referred to the Trump administration as “the apocalypse,” but then was asked what she thinks about her show’s increased ratings during the nascent Trump era. She replied: “I’ve said to people that this is probably the greatest time to be a journalist, and the worst time to be a human.” 
                There you have it: yet another member of the unbiased media giving it to us fair and balanced. This is a typically well-reasoned and nuanced statement from a stalwart and hard-working representative of today’s Fourth Estate. No extremism or fake news here!
                In truth, this remark, though less entertaining, rivals some Korean Central News Agency (KCNA) statements for preposterousness. Let’s put this in some perspective, shall we?
                Cavemen Cavepersons had it pretty rough, what with chasing down Wooly Mammoths and trying to avoid perishing in boiling tar pits, and such.  
                Say, I seem to recall reading that the bubonic plague, or Black Death, wasn’t much fun, either. In fact, it wiped out one-fifth of the world’s human population between 1346 and 1353. Seven years!
                And none of these folks had smart-phones, video games, computers, I-pads, television, radio, running water, heat, electricity, light bulbs, automobiles, or craft beer! Bad? Sad!
                More recently, the 20th Century saw 25 million people exterminated by fascists and 100 million by communists. Now that’s big government getting things done! (And Ms. Reid thinks Trump is a fascist, in part because he wants to prevent Planned Parenthood from exterminating hundreds of thousands of babies annually)!
Throw in a Great Depression, a decades-long Cold War, a Jimmy Carter presidency, a stained blue dress, and you’ve got quite a 100-year span!
Finally, just within the past ten years, we’ve experienced the reign of a man who wanted to “fundamentally transform” the most successful and benevolent country in the history of the planet, largely by sowing the seeds of envy and hatred. In that, he has mostly succeeded.
And Ms. Reid purports to believe that the man who is trying to roll-back some of the gross governmental overreach of the Obama years has single-handedly made the year 2017 the worst time in history to be a homo sapiens sapiens?
There’s no “Joy” in that remark.
And no truth, either.

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Maryland To Ban White Oaks?

September 18, 2017
Maryland State House
Annapolis, MD

The Honorable Larry Hogan: “Welcome, everyone. Please be seated.  I have arranged this special press conference to make an important announcement regarding a topic that is currently the source of much controversy and strife in our nation. That is why I am so pleased to announce that the great state of Maryland will- effective immediately- no longer recognize the “white oak” as our state tree. I’ve heard from more than one resident that has been offended by the obvious undertones of white privilege implicit in so recognizing these large deciduous plants. Therefore, we are changing our state tree to the red oak, in honor of our indigenous peoples. At first, we were going to go with the cottonwood, but then we realized that was problematic, as well, with its own connotations of the Confederacy.
                “At any rate, we are also considering taking the following steps: 1) Banning the importation- and planting- of white oaks across/inside our state lines, and 2) Toppling, trashing, vandalizing and/or burning all existing white oaks in our (soon-to-be not-so-fair) state to the ground. It has become clear that the reason ‘we can’t see the forest’ is because of the white trees.
                “Moreover, in a spirit of passionate progressivism, we are encouraging six other states with offensive state-tree names to take action of their own. Illinois and Connecticut, supposedly bastions of liberalism, also yet recognize the white oak as their state tree. Maine, Michigan and Idaho all recognize the white pine as their state tree. And lastly, New Hampshire honors the white birch as its state tree. We call on these state’s leaders to do the right thing and eliminate these insensitive and potentially triggering microaggressions by formally, officially, dropping the “white” trees as their representatives, and- in the spirit of inclusiveness- begin recognizing other, less deplorable, trees instead.
                “That concludes my remarks. I have time for a couple of questions…”

                                                                     [ Fade]

Monday, September 11, 2017

Planned Parenthood President Blasts Trump's DACA Decision

                Well, there she goes again.

                Pharisaical Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards recently sent a fundraising email to supporters lambasting the rollback of former President Obama’s Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program, or DACA, in which she stated that the program “helped so many young DREAMers access health care.” She also vowed to “fight back against this cruel and heartless decision,” adding, “Here at Planned Parenthood, we firmly believe that every person has the right to live, work, and raise a family freely and without the threat of deportation or separation.”
                Cecile might want to start thinking through her statements before she sends them off to the everlasting ether. Yes, what would the nation’s biggest abortion provider know about “cruel and heartless decisions?”
                “Here at Planned Parenthood, we firmly believe that every person has the right to live…?!” Really? Seriously? What extraordinarily gruesome farce. Let’s see, 300,000 aborted babies a year times…when was the organization founded again? Okay, I know it didn’t rack up the abortion count in yesteryear like it does today, but that’s roughly 3,000,000 babies deprived of the right to live in just the past decade!
                And the right to “raise a family freely and without the threat of deportation or separation?”
                Planned Parenthood separates babies from their own body partsand their mother’s wombs, and deports them…to Heaven…without ever allowing them the chance to earn a trip there themselves. Not that Planned Parenthood types believe in Heaven.

 Or Hell, obviously.


Sunday, September 10, 2017

University Bans Whites And Heterosexuals From "Tongues Untied" Safe Space

            The University of Minnesota’s Gender and Sexuality Center for Queer and Trans Life (UMGSCQTL) has banned white and straight students from a “safe space” on campus, according to a recent report. The Center hosts “Tongues United” “Tongues Untied,” a space designated for people to gather in order to discuss the impact of sexuality, race, and gender, according to Campus Reform.
Certain people, that is.
The group’s description of this hallowed space reads: “For our allies: we do appreciate your voices and commitment to dismantling racism and homophobia; however, please note that this is a space created for LGBTQIA and/or same-gender-loving people of color.”
Tongues United Untied apparently has a Facebook page, which reportedly until recently included this clarification: “If you identify as a queer and/or trans indigenous person or person of color, we welcome you to take part in our discussions.” If not, not so much. I mean, tolerance and inclusiveness can only be taken so far, right?

I shall henceforth untie my tongue:

One of the things that made America great was the concept of “E Plurubus Unum:” out of many comes one. This meant that, whatever your race, ethnicity, sex, religion, background, etc., if you truly believed in a few core American principles such as limited government, republicanism, and the rule of law, you could actually be- or become- an American. If you went about it logically and legally.
Progressives/leftists have fundamentally perverted this concept and spun it 180 degrees. They are doing everything they can to fracture, divide and balkanize the country, in an all-out attempt to foster chaos, bitterness, and mayhem. They do this premeditatively, in order that they may snatch control of the now addled, fearful nation, enforce their will, and utilize this deviously manufactured crisis to impose an ever more massive and bureaucratic government on the newly unrepresented people. They are anti-Americans. Period. Certainly more so than most of those that fought for the Confederacy they so righteously attack, assail, excoriate, and lambaste.
The total number of colored and indigenous LGBTQIA students at the “U” are not even a measurable percentage of the school’s 50,000 plus student body. But leftists won’t rest until every single individual is offended by what some other person or group says or does. They will not rest until every single individual person has a perceived grievance against one or more other individuals or groups. This is a recipe for disaster…and they know it. They sow it. They welcome it. They want it. They demand it. They can sow the seeds of the country’s demise…and blame it on Trump and the Republicans. How awesome is that?!
Sanity demands that we “deplorable” (Hateful words! I thought we weren’t supposed to “judge!”) Americans refuse to allow the blithe and summary destruction of the nation at the hands of these childish, intolerant, hypocritical, would-be totalitarians.


Saturday, September 9, 2017

Marijuana Causes "Mellow," Disoriented Sperm, Researchers Report

                The United Kingdom’s Daily Mail recently reported that men who smoke marijuana could face fertility problems because the drug makes sperm “mellow” and causes them to “swim in circles.” Moreover, researchers have discovered that regular inhalation of cannabis can cut sperm counts by as much as a third.
                The University of British Columbia’s Dr. Victor Chow said: “The weight of the evidence is that marijuana probably has a negative impact not only for sperm counts but sperm function.”
                This could partially explain the precipitous drop in Western men’s fertility rates in recent years.
                One can picture the newly released “swimmers”- of men who are baked like Boston beans- slowly and hazily swimming in dazed circles instead of gallantly and energetically dashing into the uterus and charging hard into their intended target, in an all-out effort to bring new life into this increasingly anti-life world.

                Spermatozoa #1: “Dude, like, I know we’re supposed to go after an egg, but, like, I really could use some nachos now!”

                Spermatozoa #2: “True story, bro! And, anyway, I don’t think this is Heather’s sweet vagina. It smells like shit in here. Oh, nooooo! I knew he was bi! I think we’re up Bob’s butthole! We’re going to expire in here or end up in the crapper, bro! Oh well, I’ve got a good buzz going and I feel mellow. M-E-L-L-O-W…hee, hee.”