Thursday, June 30, 2016

Parrot May Testify In Michigan Murder Case

                According to the Detroit Free Press, “A Sand Lake, Michigan couple’s pet parrot could be used as evidence to prove Glenna Duram murdered her husband Martin.” You read that correctly.
                Over a year after Mr. Duram was found dead from multiple gunshot wounds in the couple’s Sand Lake home, Glenna Duram is incarcerated, accused of committing the crime. Family members believe the couple quarreled over her gambling debts which led to unpaid bills and a foreclosure on their home. They further believe that she killed him and subsequently tried- but failed- to kill herself.
                According to the Free Press, “A few weeks after his death last May, the couple’s parrot started repeating a loud, profane argument between a male and a female.” The article didn’t say how experts knew the replicated ruckus was between a male and a female. The bird must be highly skilled in conveying the subtle tonalities and inflections of human voices.

                At any rate, the pretty, feathered tape-recorder apparently recounts both sides of the run-in.

                As per the parrot: (Martin told Glenna to) “Get out.”

                “Where will I go,” (Glenna replied).

                (Then Martin says) “Don’t f---ing shoot.”

                The now-deceased Mr. Duram’s former wife, Christine Keller, stated: “I believe with all my heart that those are the last words of Marty. I recognize two different voices screaming and yelling and it always ends with, ‘Don’t f---ing shoot.’”
                Robert Springstead, Newago County Prosecuting Attorney, says that they are studying the parrot’s words in an effort to determine if they are admissible evidence. “It’s an interesting novelty and it’s been a great opportunity for me to learn about African parrots. It is something we are going to be looking at to determine if it’s reliable to use or if it’s information we need to prosecute this case,” Springstead said.
                I must admit, I thrill to the image of an African-American parrot taking the witness stand, beak near the microphone, and boldly testifying against an obviously morally-challenged white woman. After this groundbreaking testimony, this courtroom first, the courageous bird will need to be placed into the witness-protection program. (Tragically, it may now become commonplace for those about to commit heinous crimes to off any parrots in the vicinity before proceeding with their plans).
                I can envision a time in the near future when these (low-tech, high maintenance) parrots are placed in every bank, airport and public space in an effort to aid prosecutors and deter crime. They may serve the same function as the iconic “black boxes” on passenger planes. Husbands and wives may hide these birds in private places of potential spousal philandering.
                “I never cheated on you!”
                “Oh yeah? Tell it to the court!”

                “Ladies and gentleman, the prosecution calls Polly Parrot to the stand.”
                “ Polly, what did you hear on that rainy night three months ago?”
                “It’s my husband! He’s coming home! Quick, out the backdoor my lovely Latin lover!”
                “Thank you, Polly. Here’s a cracker. Your honor, the prosecution rests.”

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Police Summoned To New Jersey Elementary School Over Possible Brownie Slur

                 Police were summoned to the William P. Tatem Elementary School in Collingswood, New Jersey on the 16th of June due to an incident at an end-of-the-year class party. A third grade student made a comment about the brownies that were being served to the class. Another student thought the comment might be “racist.” The school promptly called the Collingswood Police Department. A police officer spoke to the student, a 9-year-old boy, said the boy’s mother, Stacy Dos Santos. That statement was corroborated by local authorities.
                Dos Santos believes the school overreacted and said her son made a comment about snacks, not skin color. "He said they were talking about brownies. . . . Who exactly did he offend?" she said. The boy's father, who is Brazilian, was also contacted by Collingswood police later that same day. The police said the incident had been referred to the New Jersey Division of Child Protection and Permanency. (And Permanency?). The chastised and confused student stayed home for his last day of third grade.
                Dos Santos characterized her son as "traumatized," and said she hopes to send him to a different Collingswood public school in the fall.  "I'm not comfortable with the administration [at Tatem]. I don't trust them and neither does my child," she said, according to the website "He was intimidated, obviously. There was a police officer with a gun in the holster talking to my son, saying, 'Tell me what you said.' He didn't have anybody on his side."
                The incident was just one of several, in the last month alone, in which Collingswood police have been summoned to look into school incidents that most parents think hardly merit criminal investigation. In fact, Superintendent Scott Oswald estimated that- over the last month- officers may have been called out to as many as five incidents per day in the district of 1,875 total students.
                Well, at least our authorities have their priorities straight. Thousands of innocent people around the globe are being slaughtered by terrorists and they (our “leaders”) bend over backwards to avoid saying “Islamic terror,” and to fight against any limits on immigration from areas where ISIS is based.
                Authorities now call police to our schools to enforce “transgender bathroom rights,” and also to intimidate any little boy or girl who made an innocent comment about a baked dessert. The New Jersey Division of Child Protection and Permanency, if they really gave a rat’s behind about child protection, might want to challenge the transgender bathroom law- and prevent children from being harassed and frightened by school officials and law enforcement over a misconstrued remark about the color of a confection.
                It is no exaggeration to say that this type of leadership lunacy has lead to Brexit and Trump…and a rising sense of discontent with the entrenched elites- and the powerful and authority figures around the world.

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

European Union Plan Calls For Robots To Be Considered "Electronic Persons"

                Under a radical new European Union plan, robots may be granted the right to “own” possessions. These machines may also be “freed” from their human masters as many EU officials want them declared “electronic persons.” Officials apparently believe their plan could dissuade robots from some day challenging humanity for control of the Earth. These bureaucrats are so afraid of potential “robot rights” wrath that they are already caving in to the possible future demands of non-humans!
                And you wonder why the Brits left the EU? In the topsy-turvy world to come, the robots may well end up owning us.
                Under this “plan,” robots could claim copyright on their work and trade money, essentially affording them the ability to form functioning societies. Officials are so concerned that robots will take jobs away from citizens that member states are being pressed to grant all citizens a universal basic income (UBI) to aid those whose livelihoods might be taken from them by artificial intelligence.
                According to the, the draft motion called on the European Commission to consider “that at least the most sophisticated autonomous robots could be established as having the status of electronic persons with specific rights and obligations.”
                That’s interesting. We may call advanced machinery “persons”…with inherent rights…but not grant that stature- or those rights- to human “fetuses.” You can be sure these robots will perform human abortions in the not too distant future.
                Perhaps we should grant these robots a guaranteed universal income so that they may become lazy and apathetic…and therefore less of a threat to take so many jobs away from humans. And, really, isn’t that the humane thing to do, in any case?
                Is it only a matter of time until the robots blessed with the greatest artificial intelligence demand access to any and all bathrooms, regardless of gender designation? Or will they create separate bathrooms, accessible only to machines with the highest I.Q.?


Monday, June 27, 2016

Democrats To Stage "Fart-In" At Upcoming National Convention

                 There is usually plenty of hot gas floating around any arena hosting a Democratic National Conniption Convention, but this year could take the proverbial cake (albeit preferably one not made in a Christian bakery!). Far-left activist-whackos are planning the world’s largest ‘fart-in’ to coincide with Hillary Rodham Clinton’s July 28th nomination acceptance speech at the Wells Fargo Center in Philadelphia.
                Cheri Honkala, head of the ‘Poor People’s Economic Human Rights Campaign,’ is organizing the gaseous Guinness Book gala. She avers that the organization will be holding a bean supper for Bernie Sanders delegates on American Street in Philly’s Kensington neighborhood on the afternoon of July 28th, hoping that the aged socialist’s delegates “will be able to return to the Wells Fargo Center and greet the rhetorical flatulence of Hillary Clinton with the real thing.” Yes, let the ‘magical fruit’ do its thing, it’ll be a gas.
                Political discourse doesn’t get any grander than this, does it? I’m surprised Jefferson, Adams or Washington didn’t hit on this idea first!
                Ironically, it was, apparently, the radical 1960’s activist Saul Alinsky that first came up with the idea of a ‘fart-in,’ the same Saul Alinsky that so mesmerized both Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. Alinsky reportedly promoted a ‘flatulent blitzkrieg’ as a way to offend the ‘elites’ of Rochester, New York.
                It will be interesting to see who the rabidly Democratic crowd in the Wells Fartgo Center blames for the stench. Will it be the Bernie-backer’s buttholes or Hillary’s pie-hole that is cited? Maybe neither. Perhaps, as good progressives, they will all just luxuriate in the sweet smell of excess?


Sunday, June 26, 2016

Millennial Women Rejecting...Womanhood?

                The times- and the genders- they are a’ changin’… as the saying goes. According to the UK Daily Mail, a new survey conducted by Grazia magazine and Onepoll highlighted some dramatic differences in the beliefs of young women today versus those of prior generations.
                The two entities queried two thousand women about their views on gender and sexuality and found that many 18 to 24-year-olds are rejecting traditional ideas of womanhood. In fact, their research shows that more young “straight” women are having gay sexual experiences and that a quarter of women in this age group admitted to having a fling with another female. One third of them confess to being attracted to another woman. These percentages are dramatically higher than what had been found in previous surveys.
                Moreover, one in five of these millennial maidens described themselves as “gender fluid,” while only a third of them believe marriage is relevant to their lives. Forty-five percent would consider having a baby without a partner of any gender. Many of these young girls claim to be rejecting the “narrow” definitions that previous generations have lived by.
                And Dr. Thom O’Neill, for one, thinks this is a good thing! Doctor Thom works in Scotland and runs a You-Tube channel that talks about sex, mental health and LGBT issues. He said the survey showed promising results for the future: “Anything that suggests we are moving away from traditional societal views to become more accepting of a range of gender and sexual identities is very encouraging. 
The effects of homophobia and intolerance to gender variance can be very damaging, especially to young people. For example, the levels of mental health issues in young LGBT+ people are high, and the environment in which individuals live their day-to-day lives plays a big part in this. Shifting societal attitudes will help young people to live happier and healthier lives.
                It is not surprising that virtually every study shows that youngsters in the LGBTQ community exhibit more signs of mental illness than do those who are young and straight, but no one has the courage to make the obvious connection. Dr. Thom believes that “anything” that moves us away from traditional societal values is encouraging. Who can argue with that? The silly bastards that have populated the Earth for the past umpteen millennia obviously had no idea what the Hell they were doing all those years. Fortunately, we modern-day progressives have come along to rescue humanity from the conservative strait-jacket it now finds itself in!
                Bestiality, necrophilia, incest, polyamory, and the prerogative to be a woman one day and a man the next are not only liberating but oh-so-good for everyone’s mental health! These lifestyles are much better suited to a thriving, robust and stable society than marriage, sex that can produce children, appreciation for the sacred blessings of the opposite sex, a child having a father and mother, and any “defined” gender roles could ever be!

                 All those who came before us must have been ignorant, uptight morons! After all, “we are the ones we’ve been waiting for!”


Saturday, June 25, 2016

Road Hazards (Signs Of The Times)

                While traveling America’s highways recently, I’ve noticed a distinct increase in the number of “instructional” and “informative” signs hanging on overpasses and adorning roadsides. These electronic reminders, in place thanks to a generous, benevolent, and caring government, helpfully remind us to obey the law. Among other things.
                On a recent trip from my home in "the cities" to our family’s summer cottage, only a few miles into the journey a sign informed drivers: “Buckle up…it’s the law.” A bit further on another informed us:  “Extra DWI enforcement this weekend. Plan to drive sober.” Whew! Damn good thing I saw that one. I was going to stop and get hammered before attempting to continue on my trek. Not five miles down the road from there, a brightly lit sign proclaimed to drivers stuck in stop and go congestion:  “Air quality alert, no idling.” Really? Has anyone who ever got into their car to go somewhere had an overweening desire to stop dead for no reason in the middle of a three-lane freeway? Twenty miles down the highway this message appeared: “Road closed at County 25, take alternate route.” It did not, however, state what alternate route to take.
                It dawned on me that perhaps it may be the road construction and extra police cars on the highway that are causing the traffic jam and forcing drivers to sit idle in the congestion. 
                It wasn’t long before this gem came into view: “Air quality alert, take fewer trips.” Well, if I wasn’t already on this trip, I wouldn’t have seen this plea not to go on any more of them, Sherlock.
                Roughly 20 minutes later, another sign appeared, this one asking drivers to “Look both ways before crossing the street.” Half-way to my destination, a new message came into view: “Eat your vegetables.” This, I thought, was a little excessive. Approximately 15 miles further on, the nighttime roadside was emblazoned with the mantra, “Don’t play with matches.” Five minutes later motorists were admonished that “April 18th is the last day to pay your taxes without penalty.”
            Then, passing through the last town before the turn-off to our cottage, travelers were electronically interrogated with these words: “Have you called your mother lately?” 

                Thanks, MNDOT. Thanks, Big Brother. Thanks, Uncle Sam. I couldn’t have made the trip without you.

Friday, June 24, 2016

Brexit! Britain Votes To Leave EU


                Like son, like father? Roughly 240 years ago, the United States took the extraordinary and courageous step to break free from a powerful but overbearing government from across the Atlantic. The former colony was being taxed and henpecked by an unelected bureaucracy (George III and crew) without meaningful representation. Sound familiar?

                How ironic that Britain herself took a similar step yesterday.

                Pundits, media figures, bankers… and wankers- i.e. the “elite”- are predictably up-in-arms about the vote. “How could the little people vote for this?” is the question of the day. “How could they not?” would be a better query. As the National Review has pointed out, the European Union is virtually the only region of the world to be consistently experiencing zero economic growth. And we all know how effective Brussels has been in protecting Europe from terror attacks.
                Economic “malaise” (thank you, Jimmy Carter) including stagnant growth and high unemployment, a tidal-wave of unwanted and unchecked immigration, the subsequent rise in Islamic terror attacks and the rapid dissipation of traditional cultural and historical standards, loss of confidence in the future, and the rising Russian menace might be expected to be met with more than a shrug or vote of confidence.
                Rest assured that many of us here in “the States” are “Brelated” at your decision and are hoping that you can experience a Brrebirth. Bring on Boris!
                Perhaps after our own election this fall, we will both be in a position to repair and rebuild the magnificent, historic and special relationship our countries have often enjoyed throughout much of the 20th century and early 21st century.

                Well done, dad, you’ve “Br-aced it!”

Thursday, June 23, 2016

Abortion And The Vagina Monologues

                 As reported in the National Review: this past April, a University of North Georgia student group dedicated to promoting “secular tolerance and skeptical thought” held a pro-abortion event. One table at this event was dedicated to cookies shaped like babies. Some of the baby-cookies had their heads or limbs torn off and were “displayed” around sheets of paper on which students were invited to complete the sentence: “Abortion should remain legal because…”
                You can imagine the answers. One student wrote, “A woman controls her own body.” (And, apparently, the body and future of her innocent “fetus,” including the right to murder “it.”). Another wrote, “My vagina is too pretty to let a fetus crawl out.” That comment perfectly illustrates the self-absorption, the over-stuffed egos and the entitled attitudes that many left-leaning Millennials possess.
                If not for giving birth, why do you have a vagina, Darwin Gal?
                Many of her ilk are so fragile they claim to be emotionally scarred if they encounter views with which they disagree, and consequently demand “safe-zones” to protect them from these “micro-aggressions,” yet are stunningly callous and crass regarding the taking of a baby’s life.

                It’s a shame your mother didn’t have a higher opinion of her vagina, isn’t it, Darwin Gal?

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Bernie Sanders Calls For The Most "Progressive" Democratic Platform Ever

                Bernie Sanders recently called for “the most progressive platform ever passed by the Democratic Party.” That is saying something.
                Like a push for interspecies marriage equality, perhaps? The elimination of all prohibitions on incest- pardon me, it is now called Genetic Attraction Syndrome (G.A.S.)- and polygamy? A top marginal income tax rate of 97% on those with annual incomes over a million dollars? A proposal to replace George Washington with Karl Marx on the one dollar bill?
                Will this “most progressive” of platforms call for a ban on firearms alone, or will it extend to knives, lead pipes, ropes, wrenches and candle-sticks as well? I haven’t a Clue. Will it tout a federal mandate to replace the Bible in all hotel night-stand drawers with the Koran? Maybe a measure to dispense with the playing of the Star-Spangled Banner before sporting contests?
                Based on the fact that God was “booed” at the last Democratic National Convention, among many other facts, perhaps one plank of this most modern of platforms will demand that any mention of God or Jesus Christ be considered “hate speech.”
                Could it be that it will contain a call for televised abortions, too? The weekly show could air on MSNBC- it might actually improve its ratings- and could be treated like a major sporting event, replete with betting and fantasy drafts. “Good evening ladies and gentlemen and non-binary persons, it’s Abortion Night In America™!” (Insider tip: Draft Dr. Johnson and take the over!).

                If all of these things come to fruition, Allahu Akbar™, what a truly Great Society we will be!

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

President Obama Has Ordered Flag To Half-Staff More Than Any Other President

                 In recent decades, presidents have ordered the American flag to be flown at half-staff much more frequently than in the past. To some extent, this tracks with the times, as the nation has become older, less bold, and feminized, and therefore more entitled and emotional. Of course, the flag should be put at half staff in times of extraordinary national tragedy such as the Orlando massacre. It is entirely fitting and proper to honor those innocents senselessly slaughtered, but it should be a rare and sober decision to lower the flag- or it eventually devalues the very act of doing so.
                President Obama has ordered the lowering of the nation’s flags to half-staff more often than any president in the country’s history. This is not a desirable record. He has issued 66 proclamations to lower the banners since 2009, already 8 and 16 more times than George W. Bush and Bill Clinton, respectively, the only two other presidents to ever order the flags to half-mast on 50 or more occasions.
                No death or calamity is “routine,” and our hearts and prayers go out to the families of anyone affected by such occasions, but the Star Spangled Banner should not be lowered except for national tragedies, to honor a lifetime of service by a truly historic and exceptional figure; or in the case of the death of a former president.
                In light of his policies, it is no wonder that this president’s tenure in office has been marked by repeated terrorist attacks, among other calamities. It is sad to see the nation’s flag flown nearly continuously at half-mast. The country’s attitude and demeanor tends to mirror the position of the flag. The Stars and Stripes should not long be in mournful pose.

                That said, maybe the flag should have been permanently placed at half-staff on November 4th, 2008.

Monday, June 20, 2016

Gun Control Or Thought Control, It's Up To You

                 Let me see if I have this straight: when a Christian refuses to bake a cake, it’s a hate crime, but when an ISIS-supporting terrorist kills 49 people in a gay club, it’s a gun problem, correct?
                And speaking of the mentally ill, how is it that neither they, nor criminals, nor radical Islamic terrorists are to blame for the atrocities they commit? I have yet to see a gun pull its own trigger.
                When radical Islamic terrorists flew planes into the World Trade Center towers, I don’t recall an outraged call to ban aircraft. Despite the fact that we have been repeatedly exposed to images of radical Islamic terrorists beheading infidels, there is no orchestrated push to outlaw knives and machetes. And, after an Islamic radical attempted to blow up an airplane carrying 300 passengers with an “underwear bomb,” Democrats did not try to impose underwear-control. Why is this?
                It is because the issue isn’t guns…it’s control. It is much easier for a government to do what it wants if its citizens are docile and unarmed. Guns, in fact, protect the innocent, protect minorities (including minorities of oneyou or me, for instance), protect those who aren’t big and strong and young, in many cases from those who are.
                If guns cause crime, then pencils, pens and keyboards cause misspelled words. If guns cause crime, then Bic lighters should be banned to help eliminate arson.

                It is not guns that should be banned from the U.S., but radical Islamic terrorists.

                Evil itself is the most horrifying weapon. Guns are often the only way to thwart it.


Sunday, June 19, 2016

Russian Government Hackers Compromise Democratic National Committee Computer Network

                 “Russian government hackers penetrated the computer network of the Democratic National Committee and gained access to the entire database of opposition research on GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump,” the Washington Post reported recently. DNC officials said that the hackers so completely compromised the system that they were able to read all e-mail and even “chat” traffic. That must have been interesting. They could probably have gotten most of the same info off of Hillary’s personal server. What is it with Democrats, computers and e-mails?
                Reports indicate that the hackers had access to the DNC network for roughly one year, but that all were “expelled” over the weekend of June 11-12, in a “major computer clean-up campaign.” One full year?! Was the breach just discovered? If so, how do they know how long the system was compromised? If not, what prompted the security experts to finally launch the clean-up effort now?
                This didn’t make much of a news splash. I wonder what would’ve happened if the tables were turned and it was the RNC’s computer network that was compromised and it was the entire database of opposition research on Hillary Clinton that was breached?

                Where is the call for accountability? There appear to be no consequences whatsoever. Have the Russians even been rebuked? Shouldn’t the Clinton Campaign and the DNC at least have publicly apologized to the Donald?

Saturday, June 18, 2016

Father's Day

                Another Father’s Day is upon us, Mother’s Day being more than a month in the past. The two holidays by all rights should be celebrated and appreciated in a similar manner. They are not.
                No better illustration of this can be found than in the difference between Mother’s Day brunches and Father’s Day brunches (if you can find one). There is an establishment near us that my family has frequented over the years. It hosts the finest and most elaborate Mother’s Day brunch any of us have ever seen or heard of. There are floral arrangements on diner’s table. There are numerous lengthy banquet tables covered with the finest linen table cloths- as well as delectables of every description. There are two tables just for salads, one for beverages, another for pastries, and several more for various meat, potato and side dishes. There is a center table sporting a grand ice-sculpture as well as two massive silver platters, themselves adorned by two massive whole smoked salmon. Shrimp and other seafood selections abound. Waiters and waitresses come by each table to take special orders and inquire as to one’s need of a Mimosa or Bloody Mary.
                Along the perimeter walls there is a waffle-making station, a prime-rib, ham and brisket station, and a place to procure Eggs Benedict and other egg-based delicacies.
                There is a separate room dedicated to desserts.
                Last year, just out of curiosity, I decided to peek in on this self-same establishment’s Father’s Day brunch. Shocking.
                There were no floral arrangements, ice-sculptures or perimeter stations to be found. There was no separate area dedicated to desserts. There were no desserts. In fact, there were only two bare card-tables in the center of the main dining room. One was the beverage table, featuring water, V-8, and cans of Bud Light. The other sported Pop-Tarts and a toaster.
                One attempt at daddy d├ęcor was made. A brace of magazines framed the toaster. On the left was a Field & Stream, on the right a Penthouse. Both were current issues.
                This all seemed a bit unfair to me, but then I had a great dad. My dad not only encouraged me in my writing, but taught me how to be a man.
                The government has taken over the role of father- and husband- now. Rather than teaching boys how to be  men, it is attempting to make them unnecessary.
                Anyway, here’s to you, dad.

                Happy Father’s Day.

Friday, June 17, 2016

Television Talk Show Hosts Wallow In Their Own Tolerance And Understanding

                 I am sick of watching television late show/talk show hosts- and others in the mass media- use a terrorist attack/heinous crime to make themselves appear to be holier-than-thou. These maudlin, moronic, moralizers climb up on their soap-boxes and high-horses to proclaim their uber-understanding of those who committed the atrocities, thereby, they believe, earning their politically-correct merit badges for tolerance, inclusion and open-mindedness. Oh, they will superficially mourn those slaughtered, especially those who may be outside of the mainstream, but they always blame the U.S., its Founders, “intolerance” and the elusive “right-wing extremists” for inciting the violence. And, of course, inanimate objects such as firearms are somehow always at fault, though they never give the very same inanimate objects any credit for stopping the very violence for which they get blamed.

                These clueless, morbid, morons will not countenance standards, logic or reason, but by God they will frolic with- and excuse- evil, in a pathetically misguided and narcissistic attempt to claim the moral high ground…and liberal’s approbation.

Thursday, June 16, 2016

The First Annual American Transgender Society Conference

                “Thank you all for attending the first annual American Transgender Society conference. Wasn’t that a great way to open the festivities? Shania Twain’s, ‘Man, I feel like a woman’ always gets everyone pumped up!
                “In case you don’t know who I am, my name is Pat Pliable, President of the ATS, and I will be your emcee this evening. We have a fantastic agenda for you all tonight! First off, we will cover the incredible progress we’ve made in bathroom access over the past year! {Loud cheering and applause, lasting for several minutes-most standing} Yes, this is the civil rights issue of our time, and we are finally breaking down the barriers, people! We have been welcomed into any restroom in some parts of the country, in many public places and in a number of high schools and colleges, but we will not rest until we can urinate and defecate in each and every bathroom in this land, based solely on what gender we identify as at the time!! We are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied, until justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream.
                “This is our time! We too, like Dr. Martin Luther King, have a dream! A dream that one day a little transgender boy and a little transgender girl will be able to join hands as they go to the bathroom, in all their transgender splendor!
                “Next up, we will be breaking into small groups for a workshop on cross-dressing. Following that, we will have a 20-minute break, snacks and beverages provided. Bathrooms are at the far end of the hall, next to the RuPaul room, and, of course, are open to all…ha,ha,ha!
                “When we come back from break, Andy Rogynous will be teaching us all about the proper, politically-correct usage of transgender pronouns and how this affects verb conjugation. Then there will be time for a question-and-answer session before we end with a sing-along to the Kinks classic, Lola!
                “Let’s get started, shall we…?”
                Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls
                It’s a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Terrorist? No! Woman? Yes!

                The terrorist who shot up a gay bar in Orlando recently had been investigated by the FBI on two separate occasions. In 2013, he was investigated after telling some of his co-workers that he had ties to terrorists. Then, in 2014, suspicions surfaced that he may have had connections to the suicide bomber Moner Abu Salha. He has previously referenced the Tsarnaev brothers.
                Authorities let him go- both times- because they were “unable to verify” these connections. The latest reports state that he essentially told more than one acquaintance that he was a terrorist.
                Yet, we didn’t want to stereotype or profile, so we refused to take him seriously.

                Reflect for a moment where we are: we refuse to accept that a person who calls himself a terrorist…is a terrorist, but we are compelled and coerced to believe that a man who calls himself a woman…is a woman.


Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Gays, Guns and Islam

                So, it turns out a gay, Muslim man with a gun was responsible for the heinous attack in Orlando? The lesson that liberals want us to learn from this is that nearly all homosexuals are great people, almost all Muslim’s are peaceful, but all guns are bad and should be banned.

                Gay pride! Islam is the religion of peace! Ban all firearms!
                In our haste to dismiss the concept (and presence) of evil, we hold the guilty blameless. Therefore we must ascribe blame to someone- or something- else. If we are going to stereotype and profile guns, we better start taking a cold, hard look at all other potentially dangerous inanimate objects. Knives should be impounded, baseball bats banned, crossbows outlawed, etc. etc. And let’s not even start talking about automobiles! An average of about 33,000 Americans are killed each year on the nation’s roads and highways, over 90 a day.
                The majority in this country (the decent, tolerant everyday working folk) has acquiesced to the demands of powerful special-interest groups and aggressive lobbying by certain minorities. The result is that logic, reason, sanity and honesty have essentially been banned as “politically incorrect.”

                Truth-be-told, the truth cannot be told in America anymore.

Monday, June 13, 2016

See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil: The Liberal Creed

                 Incredibly, even after the latest Islamic terror attack on Orlando, I still hear people say: “You can’t stereotype the many by the actions of a few!” As a conservative, I recognize and respect individuals and Natural Law, but how come liberals never say that on the very rare occasion when a “right-wing fanatic” commits a crime?? They never attempt to make that point about firearms in general- or about those that legally possess them who commit virtually no murders but have prevented or ended numerous killings. Odd, isn’t it? It’s almost like they are willfully blind…or perhaps have a political agenda?
                Unfortunately, the few in the case of radical Islamic terrorists aren’t so few in any case, truth-be- told. There are tens of thousands of them around the globe, perhaps significantly more than that.

                Yet people can’t tell the truth or have a serious dialogue regarding Islam without being accused of being a profiling hate-monger. Even in the United States. That is simply bizarre…and scary. Given the fact that Islamic fundamentalists refuse to let “their” women go out in public without a male chaperon and believe homosexuality should be punishable by death, it is amazing that liberals/progressives are still so protective of them.

Sunday, June 12, 2016

ISIS Attacks Orlando In Biggest Mass-Shooting In American History

                 ISIS has introduced itself to American soil, perpetrating the worst mass-shooting in the nation’s history, with at least 49 dead and another 50-plus injured near Orlando, Florida. The premeditated massacre was conducted in a gay bar by 29-year-old Omar Mir Seddique Mateen, who was reportedly laughing as he gunned people down. Mateen had been investigated by authorities on two separate occasions prior to the attack (in 2013 and 2014), but was allowed to remain free. Just three days ago ISIS announced its intention to launch attacks in Florida. Prior to the attack, Mateen called 911 and pledged his support to ISIS (at least he didn't pledge allegiance to the flag!).
                What was President Obama’s characterization of this latest in a long line of attacks by Islamic terrorists? He never even alluded to radical Islamic terror. He never mentioned Islam or used the word Muslim. The president’s first and most critical duty is to uphold the Constitution by defending the country he “leads” and protecting its citizens. Radical Islamic terror is a clear and present danger to the nation and the president has been derelict in his duty. In fact, his policies have led to heinous mass killings like this. Trump is right in stating that he should resign if he isn’t truly committed to protecting America and Americans.
                The president did blame the attack on- you guessed it- guns. This is particularly absurd as guns can’t fire themselves. Terrorists have and will use whatever they need to kill infidels. It doesn’t matter to those now dead if it was a cross-bow, knife, poison gas, anthrax, baseball bat or weed-whacker that did them in. They are still dead. The constant is radical Islamic terror. Moreover, it was- yet again- guns that stopped the slaughter, or nothing likely would have.
                This past April an Imam in an Orlando Mosque nonchalantly stated that gays must die. According to online reports he said: “Death is the sentence. We know there’s nothing to be embarrassed about this. Death is the sentence.”
                Mr. President, how many must die before we say enough? Why can’t you summon the courage to call these radical Islamic terrorist attacks, “radical Islamic terrorist attacks?” Why won’t you acknowledge where the root of the problem lies? You are only too quick to denigrate Fox News or any of your own citizens that have the temerity to openly disagree with you, yet you demand that Islam remain blameless and unnamed! Must more of our cities turn into radical Islamist theme parks, Mr. President?
                One wonders: if Obama was President when Pearl Harbor was attacked, would he have declared war? If so, on who? Would he have dared to use the word Japan?
                Would he have referred to the NAZI concentration camps in The Third Reich during World War II as  “man-caused detention centers.” Would he have used the word Germany? Would he have blamed the Aryan race?
                What do you think? Ponder your answers to these questions...and then, in light of his response today, ask why you believe he would have done what you think he would have done.
                Feel a chill yet?

Saturday, June 11, 2016

Teen-Age Students Live-Stream Sex Acts As Classmates Watch

                 According to CBS Chicago, police in Milwaukee have recently launched an investigation after three teenagers live-streamed themselves having sex, while their classmates at school watched on their Smart-phones. Milwaukee’s CBS Channel 58 reports that two girls, one 14 and one 15, and a boy of 15, skipped school this past January and engaged in sex acts off of school grounds, while at the same time streaming video live on Facebook. Several students watched the video on their phones while in health class at the Barack Obama School of Career and Technical Education.
                Well, they were certainly putting their “technical education” to use… as they pursued careers in… adult cinema.
                The backlash? One mother said she was “not pleased” that the school did not inform parents.    On the bright side, perhaps the school can negotiate exclusive world-wide rights to any future  online earnings the video may generate. After all, raising ever more money appears to be job number one for schools these days. We know it’s not imbuing kids with an ethical compass. Wouldn’t want to judge!
                High school students used to be sent to the principal’s office for chewing gum in class or calling teachers by their first name; they were then sent to college to debate philosophical and moral issues.
                Today they are sent to gender inclusive bathrooms and then off to staggeringly expensive colleges to hide in safe spaces when they aren’t learning about the evils of capitalism. Our schools no longer produce many deep and original thinkers, but they can put out an endless supply of Community Organizers.
                 This is what a “progressive” society looks like.


Friday, June 10, 2016

Obama Apologizes To Japan For Hiroshima And Nagasaki

                 In yet another stunning illustration of how dramatically the Democratic Party has changed over the past few decades, President Obama recently virtually apologized to Japan for the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, while visiting the Hiroshima Memorial. (Oddly enough, Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe has no plans to visit Pearl Harbor).
                 Perhaps the president, ever the progressive, was too busy partying, protesting and campus and community-organizing in his young-adult years to take any history classes.  Had he done so, he would be aware that the Empire of Japan attacked the United States- and without advance warning at that. He might also have been aware that after this “unprovoked and dastardly” attack, Democratic president Franklin Delano Roosevelt vowed that the nation he led would see the coming war through to “absolute victory,” so that “this form of treachery shall never again endanger us.” The jaunty, ever resolute president said: “We will gain the inevitable triumph—so help us God.”
                His party now ‘boos’ the mention of God at its national conventions. (And is now so ‘sophisticated’ that it only believes in abortion, global warming, political-correctness and punishing those who succeed).
                John Kennedy guided his country through the Cuban Missile Crisis. John Kerry thanked the Iranians for releasing our sailors. Sick and pathetic.
                And, since we’re talking apologies here, let’s not forget to mention that Japan has never officially apologized for attacking the United States.
                Democratic President Harry Truman made the agonizing- but courageous and correct- decision to end World War II by dropping bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. If he hadn’t, an estimated 500,000 more American servicemen would have perished and one million more Japanese, as well.
                President Obama should apologize… to Harry Truman, his descendants and his legacy.
                Or perhaps he would have preferred to apologize to the families of the estimated one-half million  American servicemen that would have perished if those nuclear weapons weren’t used. Or to the families of the estimated one million Japanese that would have also been killed.

                The devolution of a formerly worthy political party into entitled, infantilized, Marxist scum has been breathtaking.

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Democratic And Republican National Conventions To Be "Must See TV"

                 If you've been keen to witness truly bacchanalian asshattery on a grand stage, this summer's Democratic and Republican National Conventions are the answer to your prayers!
                 During the former we'll be treated to screeching, pointing, yelling, anger, laughter, lies and coughing...and that's just from Hillary Clinton! The viewing audience will get three days of various Democrats commenting on issues of policy and platform, such as:  
                1) Should the rich simply be forced to "pay their fair share" of income taxes (i.e. all of them) or would it be better if they were routinely water-boarded and then forced to listen to Al Franken filibustering for 24 consecutive hours?
                2) Despite the Herculean efforts of our Dear Leader, the nation faces some serious problems. Are these problems still all George Bush's fault, are the wealthy to blame, or is it some combination of the two?
                The website promises that the upcoming 2016 Democratic National Convention at the Wells Fargo Center (you know how much those Democrats love big banks!) in Philadelphia will be "the most engaging and inclusive political convention in modern history." At least since the days of Nero and Caligula. Hide the kiddies!
                This debacle won't be complete until we see Bernie Sanders and his supporters chasing Hillary down the aisles, swatting at her with their shoes, in true City of Brotherly Love spirit.

                The Republican soiree', on-the-other-hand, will be held in Cleveland at the portentously named Quicken Loans Arena. The Calamity-in-Cleveland will likely see several also-ran's heretofore closely-held delegates loaned, traded, purchased, laundered and prostituted in a final crazed attempt to wrest the nomination from Donald Trump. This titanic Hindenburg-in-waiting affair will feature a bombastic blow-hard from New York (not Hillary or Bill Clinton!) attempting to simultaneously convince conservatives that he is what he isn't while placating liberals who want him to deport Ted Cruz and build a wall around Texas.
                And, of course, protesters outside of the arena will make every attempt to get inside and violently assault the Donald and his supporters in an urgent plea for peace, tolerance and inclusivity.
                Please note that establishment Republicans promise to hand out commemorative "lead zeppelin" curios to the first five thousand people to enter the arena each day, replete with a small marker declaring, "Oh, the humanity!"

                This is must see TV! Let the games begin!


Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Hillary & Bill Clinton, Democratic Dream Ticket! (Soon To Be Billary & Hill Clinton?)

                 I must admit, a Hillary and Bill Clinton administration would offer us an unprecedented treasure trove of bizarre and humorous personal and political fodder. Perhaps Bill could be Hillary’s Vice-Presidential candidate. That would be a first! Women everywhere would be thrilled on multiple levels! The famously charismatic, if sociopathic, Mr. Clinton could breathe new life into his wife’s stale campaign.
                If the duo were elected, Bill could lay (sorry) claim to being the only person ever to first hold the office of president and then of Vice-President, while being the inaugural “First Man,” as well! And that’s just for starters! Hillary, who many believe to be a lesbian, could finely figuratively be the one who wears the pants in her family, not just the one who actually wears the pants-suits.
                Better yet, I can easily picture Bill “coming out” as a woman, saying he finally found the courage to admit he “self-identifies” as female… and couldn’t have been guilty of harassing women in the past because he’s been one all along! Picture them on stage, Hillary in her pants-suit and Bill in a blue dress, stating, “They claimed I used to harass women…and now I am one!” What a turn around, what a boon to her campaign! Brilliant political strategy… and theater! Women would lap it up! Hillary would, at long last, look longingly and seductively into her spouse’s eyes.

                Some journalist would shout out: “Bill, that looks like Monica’s dress,” and he would answer, “That’s because it is! You, sir, deserve a cigar! Sorry, I never could get the evidence- I mean stain- out. Don’t go to my dry-cleaner, ha, ha, ha! Anyway, pardon moi, I’m going to go harass myself, if ya’ know what I mean!”

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Declaration of Independence Declared Racist

                 Louisiana state legislator Barbara Norton (D-Shreveport) recently argued that the Declaration of Independence was racist. The lawmaker hurled that remarkable accusation at America’s founding document during a “spirited” debate over a bill that would have required the state’s fourth through sixth grade public school students to recite a passage from the Declaration on a daily basis, Fox & Friends reported.
                “For the Declaration of Independence only Caucasians (were) free,” Norton, who is black, said during a debate on the floor of the Louisiana House of Representatives on Wednesday, June 6th. Representative Valarie Hodges (R-Denham Springs) sponsored the bill, but subsequently shelved it before lawmakers could vote on the proposal. Norton and Rep. Pat Smith (D-Baton Rouge) told Hodges that children shouldn’t have to recite words written at a time when slavery was prevalent.
                Hodges disagreed, stating: “They really just don’t get it and to me I really feel that it’s as important as Math and English and conjugating verbs,” she said, adding that it was important to educate children to become good citizens. She also told the station she was astonished and saddened “at the hatred that was expressed at the forefathers and this document” during the debate.
                        Which words in the Declaration are so racist and offensive, Rep. Norton? What phrases really get your dander up? Does “The separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them” bother you? Or perhaps “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness” offends you? (Emphases mine).
                If we can’t recite these words because they were written at a time when slavery was prevalent, then it follows that no one should be allowed to recite any passages from the Koran during this time when Islamic terrorism is rampant across the globe. Correct? Will our descendants claim their kids shouldn’t recite anything that was written in our day because abortion was legal?!

                And, Babs, Abraham Lincoln wrote The Emancipation Proclamation  when slavery was still prevalent and legal. I guess neither Abe- nor anyone since- should've been allowed to recite from it?

               The fact of the matter is that the words in The Declaration- and the principles they so vividly conveyed to the world- did more to rid this earth of slavery than any other words, written or spoken, ever have.  In fact, when John Quincy Adams was defending a group of (formerly) free Africans that had been captured by Spanish slave traders and wrongfully brought to the United States on the Amistad, he used the Declaration of Independence as a tool to help gain their freedom. Arguing before the Supreme Court, he asked if sending these captives to Spain, as that nation’s government had requested, would be justice. Of course not, he stated. To find where justice lay, Adams continued, one need look no further than “that law,” at which time he pointed to a copy of the Declaration of Independence attached to one of the Court’s pillars. “The law of Nature and of Nature’s God on which our father’s placed our own national existence.”*
                Adams had, by that point, concluded that abolitionism had been built into America’s foundation. He said of the Declaration, “The same moral thunderbolt, which melted the chains of allegiance that bound the colonist to his sovereign, dissolved the fetters of the slave.”*
                That deserves recitation.

* ‘John Quincy Adams: Militant Spirit,’ by James Traub (Basic Books, 2016)

Monday, June 6, 2016

Hillary Clinton Lied...And The People Sighed

                      Hillary Clinton posted and shared the names of concealed United States intelligence officials on her unprotected e-mail system according to an exclusive report. According to federal records, the former First Lady swapped the highly classified names on an e-mail account that was vulnerable to outside attack. In fact, records show her account was breached repeatedly by Russian-backed hackers, and possibly by other foreign powers such as China.

                These new revelations should give FBI investigators the evidence needed to show that Clinton violated the Espionage Act by mishandling information vital to national defense in a way that exhibited “gross negligence.”
                Madelyn Albright recently stated that “nobody died” as a result of these e-mails, but these are precisely the kinds of blunders that have gotten intelligence assets killed around the world.
                 Richard Nixon was unaware of the original Watergate break-in plans, and had a relatively miniscule 18-minute gap in a tape recording. He was forced out of office.  Yet Hillary Rodham Clinton, who expressly ordered and oversaw this e-mail set up and who approved the deletion of- at minimum- 30,000 e-mails  relevant to this national security scandal, is very likely to be elected president in November of 2016.
                This is what John Adams was talking about when he said: “Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.” It is also what Benjamin Franklin was referencing when he replied to a lady who’d asked him what kind of a government they (those delegates to the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia in 1787) had given the American people. He simply said: “A republic… if you can keep it.”
                When a majority of voters no longer care about the character or behavior of their representatives, when their primary consideration is how much “free” stuff any particular candidate promises them, the writing is on the wall and the republic will soon fall.

                It’s true: two wrongs don’t make a right.

                But, in this case, they do help the left.



Sunday, June 5, 2016


                 So we welcome the 55-year-old man in a dress into the same bathroom my young daughter uses and we call it “tolerance,”  and “inclusiveness,” and “compassion,” but if I speak out against this I am  branded an intolerant, bigoted, freak who should be shunned and silenced?
                We are supposed to tolerate- and indeed celebrate- men who “identify” as women and want to use their bathrooms, but we denigrate those men who let it show they are attracted to women via a “Hey, baby” or a “Looking good!” or a catcall? Only a modern-day liberal could call the latter harassment and not the former.

                This must be some kind of alternate universe, a sick, bizarro-land of anti-reason that celebrates socially-destructive behavior and an entitled, narcissistic society unable to tell male from female- or wrong from right.

Saturday, June 4, 2016

Restroom Riddles

                 If a gay man makes sexual advances towards a transgender “woman” in a public restroom is it harassment?  What if “she” likes it? Is anybody in the wrong? What kind of consensual sex would this be? What if the gay man was also “identifying” as a woman that day and they were both in the ladies room? Should they be considered gays or lesbians? And what if a transgender “woman” hits on a “cisgender” lady in the women’s room? Or a transgender “man” films a “cisgender” male in the men’s room?  You can’t really claim Breech-of-Privacy in a public bathroom. Would these be considered forms of assault? Going to the bathroom never used to be so confusing.

                One thing is certain, though: sanity- and the language- are under assault.

Friday, June 3, 2016

Americans To Spend More On Taxes Than On Food, Clothing And Shelter Combined

              Americans as a whole will spend more on taxes in 2016 than they will on food, clothing and housing combined. U.S. citizens will cough up $3.3 trillion in federal taxes and $1.6 trillion in state and local taxes in 2016, and that nearly $5 trillion total is equivalent to 31 percent of the nation’s cumulative income.     
             Moreover, if annual federal borrowing (representing future taxes owed) is included, Tax Freedom Day (the first day of the year on which your income would start going to you rather than the government) would be May 10th.
             The United States didn’t have a permanent federal income tax until 1913, 137 years into its existence, and yet it grew into the world’s most powerful nation in precisely this time frame. The federal government has no business taxing the living hell out of its constituents- or their businesses. Incredibly, the U.S. has the highest corporate income tax rate in the industrialized world. The United States!
             Earlier citizens of the Land of the (formerly) Free and the Home of the (formerly) Brave would simply not have tolerated the excessive, punitive and onerous taxation and regulation to which modern day Americans blindly acquiesce.


Thursday, June 2, 2016

President Obama Tells U.S. To Prepare For Disaster

                 President Obama, announcing the official start of hurricane season on June 1st, declared: “All of us have seen the heartbreak, the damage and, in some cases, the loss of life that hurricanes can cause. And as climate continues to change, hurricanes are only going to become more powerful and more devastating.”
                The powerful, pandering, prognosticator further pontificated: “One of the things that we have learned over the course of the last seven and a half years is that government plays a vital role, but it is every citizen’s responsibility to be prepared for disaster. And that means taking proactive steps, like having an evacuation plan, having a fully stocked disaster supply kit. If your local authorities ask you to evacuate, you have to do it. Don’t wait.”
                I prepared for disaster seven and a half years ago, Mr. President.
                And, unfortunately, I was proven right. You’ve trashed the country far more than any hurricane ever did. You’ve blown away the Constitution and eviscerated many people’s sense of responsibility and accountability, making them dependent on government and willing to do whatever authorities tell them to do.
                Incredibly, the president made these remarks at a time when the United States has gone over a decade- 127 straight months- without a major hurricane making landfall, a record span. But we know that facts don’t matter to progressives-Marxists. Or to climate change fascists, for that matter.
                It seems the more the facts argue against their outlooks, opinions and preferred plans of action, the more aggressively they try to impose them on dissenters or “deniers.” Those on the left have to get their way. They may claim to love pure democracy and preach tolerance above all things, but they despise both, the country rubes in fly-over territory, and anyone that has the unmitigated gall to disagree with them.
                Tragically, leftists know that ignorant, meek and (deliberately) misinformed people will eventually believe what they say- facts be damned- if they just repeat it often and loudly enough. They likewise  know that a coerced and unprincipled people will do what they are told to do, right, wrong or indifferent.

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

President Obama, The Transdivine

                 It’s 2016. Boundaries are being eliminated, the collected wisdom of the ages is being thrown out, tradition is scorned, reality is seen as unreal, truth is mocked as a lie, and physical facts of gender and sexual distinction are considered meaningless.
                We have been witness to many “firsts” of late. The first U.S. president that actually despises his own country. The first call for birth-control to be paid for by other people. The first time men who claim to be women are welcome in women’s bathrooms and locker rooms- and vice-versa. This is certainly a period of rapid transition. Transcendency, transformation and transgenders are the order of the day. We have even seen the rise of the transspecied.
                There is, incredibly, an even more remarkable first that has occurred in recent years: president Obama has clearly staked his claim to be the first transdivinity head of state- or human being, for that matter- ever to trod the earth. Whether overriding the law, ignoring Constitutional limits, issuing executive decrees, ruling by fiat, or making laws up out of thin air, he declares that he’s doing it all in our best interests. He actually told us that he will stop the rising of the seas. He believes he has the knowledge and the power to stop the climate from changing. He clearly believes his morality is peerless. He actually seems to think that he is the way, the light and the truth.
                In short, he clearly self-identifies as God, and, as we all now know, you really are whatever you identify as.