*Amendment I- Congress shall make no law respecting an
establishment of non-religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or
abridging the freedom of speech of those in government or Hollywood, or of the
press, except Fox News; or the right of (approved groups) of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the
Government for a redress of grievances.
*Amendment II- A very
well regulated militia, being
necessary to help feed and immunize underprivileged peoples around the world
and showcase the potential of a truly diverse social organization free of bias
against sexual orientation, gender identity and religious affiliation, the right of the people to keep
and bear their arms- and legs- shall not be infringed.
*Amendment III- No Conservative shall, in time of peace be
quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war,
but in a manner to be prescribed by law.
*Amendment IV- The rights of some of the people to be secure
in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches
and seizures, shall not be violated, unless the Government thinks it best for
the greater good, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause,
supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be
searched, and the persons or things to be seized, unless the IRS- or other Government Agency- deems it necessary to
protect said Agency from the people.
*Amendment V- No person shall be held to answer for a
capital, or otherwise infamous crime against a conservative, unless on a
presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land
or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or
public danger and even then not if they are Islamic extremists; nor shall any
person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or
limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against
himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without the due process
of law unless we don’t like your kind; nor shall private property be taken for
public use, without just compensation, except in cases where we want to.
*Amendment VI- In all criminal prosecutions, the accused
shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the
State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed; which district
shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature
and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to
have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the
Assistance of Counsel for his defence, unless a conservative (or a member of a
conservative-leaning group), especially a Tea-Bagger- or Rick Perry.
*Amendment VII- In Suits at common law, where the value in
controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be
preserved, and no fact tried by a jury shall be otherwise reexamined in any
Court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law…
unless Al Franken or Nancy Pelosi say
*Amendment VIII- Excessive bail shall not be required, nor
excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted… except on
the Koch brothers, Mark Steyn and Michael Savage.
*Amendment IX- The enumeration in the Constitution of
certain rights shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by
the Congress, President and Judiciary; nor of Big Media, Big Academia, Big
Labor, Hollywood, etc.
*Amendment X- The powers not delegated to the United States
by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, should have been! Therefore, the duty of abject obedience (to Federal Power) is reserved to the
States respectively, or to the people.
(The actual first ten Amendments to the Constitution of the United States- known as 'the Bill of Rights'- were ratified on December 15th, 1791. I'm guessing Democrats would like to see this, their dream- version of the Bill of Rights, enacted around December 15, 2016. The current version of the Bill of Rights was ratified by those such as Washington, Adams, Jefferson, Madison, Franklin, etc. The replacement edition would be either accomplished by Executive Fiat or Judicial Decree...or 'ratified' by the August modern-day body that includes such political luminaries as Al Franken, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and Barbara Boxer).
And a Bonus Amendment, the 11th!:
*Amendment XI- The Judicial power of the United States
shall not be construed to extend to any suit in law or equity, commenced or
prosecuted against one of the United States by Citizens of another State, or by
Citizens or Subjects of any Foreign State, unless directed to be so construed by President Obama or the United Nations, in order to promote “One World Government."