Friday, July 31, 2015

Cecil And Samson

                First off, let me say that I am an animal lover. I fought back tears at the end of “Old Yeller,” and “Born Free.” Really. I’m not kidding. I love dogs and most other animals and treat them more than humanely. I love to fish, but release almost all of them. If a fish has swallowed the hook, I go to unparalleled lengths to find ways to allow them to survive. If it costs me a little bit of tackle- and therefore money- I don’t care.
                That said, this full-throated world-wide outcry of anger over the “slaying” of Cecil the lion is over-the-top and sadly illustrative of our misplaced values and priorities. In my local paper today, in huge block letters above the fold on page 1 of the ‘A’ section, the headline read, “Lion killing case goes to court, furor grows.” The accompanying photograph of the many protesters outside of Walter Palmer’s  dentist’s office  was filled with people carrying signs stating, “Let The Hunter be Hunted,” “Love Not kill Wildlife,” “Murderer, Scumbag, Leave Town!!!” and “Justice For Cecil, Extradite Walter Palmer,” etc., etc.
                The secondary article, below Cecil’s, had a headline reading, “Debris is likely from missing Malaysia plane,” and chronicled American investigator’s discovery of an object believed to be from Malaysian Airlines Flight 370 that disappeared in March, 2014, ultimately killing 239 people on board.
                I listened to talk-shows- several sports call-in shows at that- today, and heard people angrier and more choked-up than I’ve heard folks on any other issue in decades. “How could that monster kill Cecil,” was a theme. Pardon me, but the likelihood that you ever heard of Cecil the lion before this week is approximately zero. It is so easy for progressives, who typically have nothing truly meaningful to feel good about, to mount their high horse and spew inanity, hatred and invective at others “less enlightened then they.” How good it feels.
                Whenever a Christian human- or 40- is/are beheaded by Islamic terrorist thugs there is never the personal, aggrieved, general outcry as there has been in just 72 hours since “Cecil” has been shot. Perhaps they weren’t led out of their park or sanctuary…or maybe their killers actually had licenses to murder them.
                Funny, when hundreds of people protest an abortion site, the protesters are threatened and called all sorts of names, but when folks protest a dentist who shot a big game animal while on safari in Africa, the dentist gets threatened and called names.
                It is easy to see that America has been fundamentally changed. Simply look at how recent news stories are reported- and received. The lion’s share of the credit- or blame- goes to our president, Barack Hussein Obama, himself just back from Africa. Gay marriage is now mane-stream here (but not in Africa). Gay pride is ubiquitous. The meaning and intent of the First Amendment is being challenged while those practicing political-correctness are lionized.
                The lion has historically been called the “King of Beasts,” yet that title might now rightly go to the statue of Satan erected just this past week in Detroit (home of the Detroit Lions!). We now discard our Constitution, the Ten Amendments and the Ten Commandments, but worship our pop stars and their culture. The Millennials are less patriotic and content than any previous generation. Why might that be? They are not taught history- at all or properly- and they have grown up on television and video games. The immensely popular “Grand Theft Auto”-type games  encourage their  human representatives to act their murdering, thieving, conniving worst and the Disney/Pixar, etc., shows almost universally portray animals as cute, self-aware, loving, intelligent and wise, while denigrating most of the human characters. What the Hell are our kids going to think? They have never been in a real-life situation where “Elsa,” or “Cecil,” may likely kill them. More and more people in the “civilized” world actually believe humans are bad and animals are good. Period.
It is unimaginable that in any other time there would have been a headline, in JAPS BOMB PEARL HARBOR style yet, about the killing of one lion in Africa. In days past, most people were trying not to starve and were trying to avoid being killed by lions, grizzly bears and the like. (Often, the lionhearted person who sleighed the beast was the village's hero!). Even today, with ISIS on the march, rogue regimes possessing or developing nuclear weapons, much of the world trillions of dollars in debt, immigration causing stress and chaos in Europe and America, etc., it is hard to imagine the “furor” this lone lion-hunter/poacher has caused. The numerous recent shark attacks (on humans) off of the American coast, while reported, have usually been given short shrift and not even made the front page!  We have progressed to the point of rapid regression. We are, literally, nearly 180 degrees away from our biblical mandate to go forth and multiply and hold dominion over the Earth and its creatures. We are, in America, also nearly 180 degrees away from our founding ideals- and ideas.
                I don’t know how “Cecil” the lion came by his name. I keep thinking of Cecil B. DeMille, the most famous human “Cecil” and greatest Hollywood director of all time. He produced and directed many of the greatest films ever to grace the cinema, one of which was, “Samson and Delilah.” In that classic, biblical account, Samson was given supernatural strength by God to perform heroic feats… such as killing a lion.
                A question for many of you liberals…do you really believe that “aborting” untold numbers of  innocent human babies- often your own- is fine, but the taking of a single adult lion is cause for world-wide anger, panic and despair? Deep down? Really?

                With apologies to the Eagles, you can’t hide your lion eyes.


Thursday, July 30, 2015

The New Evil Empire

                Kim Jong-un appears to be the love-child of the Pillsbury Dough-boy and Jabba the Hutt, were that possible of course. (And nowadays, one never knows…). Although closer in height to the Dough-boy, he has none of his happy-go-lucky charm and instead shares the “personality” traits of the Hutt. The leader of the Hermit kingdom, however, is not a Phantom Menace, but a real one.
                Or so he wishes to be.
                Will we grant him that wish?
 You can tell a lot about a country by who its friends and allies are.  Russia (USSR 2.0), China, and Iran are among the very few who often side with the Hermit Kingdom. They also happen to be the other most aggressively anti-American nations on the planet. Surprisingly, President Obama hasn’t granted them Most Favored Nation status (MFN). They should be granted Most Belligerent Nation status (MBN). These nations comprise a loose military alliance and truly form a new “Evil Empire,” even larger- and far more populous- than the last one. Iran and North Korea share technological knowledge and any breakthroughs/improvements in their nuclear weapons capabilities, much of that pilfered from other nations.
The “nuclear accord” with Iran yet again rewards bad behavior on the part of our adversaries. It strengthens and emboldens not only Iran, but North Korea, as well.

Somewhere in the middle of his starving, barren little empire, His Most Exalted (Dough-Boy), Kim Jong-the Hutt is smiling.

The United States Declares Its Independence From Thomas Jefferson- Part II

                I feel “The Onion’s” pain.

                From time to time, usually after I post a parody piece, I will get someone saying something like, “I thought it was funny, but, come on, that’s never gonna happen.” And then, often within days…it, or something very much like it, happens. There are numerous examples. Recently, I posted, “Washington, D.C. to be Renamed,” and, while I admit that may still be highly unlikely, the following (and more) has already come to pass: the state Democratic Party of Connecticut, under pressure by the NAACP, unanimously voted to rename their annual fundraising dinner. For years it had been called the “Jefferson, Jackson, Bailey Dinner.” They are booting Thomas Jefferson and Andrew Jackson off of the title. (Also see my post from two days ago, “U.S. Declaring Independence From Thomas Jefferson”). Apparently, Bailey, a Connecticut state and DNC chairman under JFK and LBJ, is still on the billing.  It helps when you live in an era devoid of slavery.
                Andrew Jackson has had a tough year for a dead guy. He’s been threatened with eviction from the front of the $20 bill, as well.
                  But Thomas Jefferson?! Really? The 13th Amendment to the United States Constitution- you know, the one abolishing slavery- used language drafted by Jefferson to that end. And he did write the Declaration of Independence. He also founded- and funded- the University of Virginia. He was a farmer, lawyer, inventor, architect, Governor of Virginia, Minister to France and Secretary of State. He was president for 8 years and authorized the Louisiana Purchase. I mean, come on!
                Moreover, Jefferson has for decades been lauded as the founder of the Democratic Party. (This may have made some sense, even through the 19th century, until the modern-day party took a sharp turn and exited reality, stage left. Shredding Jefferson’s agrarian roots, the Democrats are now the Party of the Inner City Elites and Their Wards and openly mock those in “fly-over” country).
                You know others will follow suit. Jefferson’s name will eventually be taken off of schools, roads and cities, etc., and several other founders will get the same treatment. Or maybe all of them will.
                In any case, the dinner will be rechristened. A new name for the event is to be chosen this fall.

                Let’s turn it into a contest! Submit your suggestions now!

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Satanic Statue Unveiled In Detroit

                An eight foot tall statue of Satan was unveiled before a crowd of several hundred in Detroit this past Saturday, July 25th, in what was purported to be “the largest public Satanic ceremony in history.” (And I always thought that was the 2012 Democratic National Convention! Silly me!).
                The Satanic Temple, the group responsible for the “event,” said that the statue will “stand as a testament to plurality and the power of collective action.” There you have it, then. The group was going to try to place the statue at the Oklahoma State Capitol in Oklahoma City until the Oklahoma Supreme Court banned a monument depicting the Ten Commandments- and all other religious symbols- from Capitol grounds.
                The group stated that, in the end, Detroit was selected as the city has a “strong (Satanic) congregation.” Imagine that.
                The Baphomet statue depicts Satan with a goat head, hooves, wings and horns on a human body. Statues of two young kids, a boy and a girl, are staring up at the Satan figure in apparent wonder and adoration.
                What’s the problem, prudes?
                Don’t let this distract you from the fight to get Big Tobacco to drop their “flavored” cigarettes. We don’t want the kiddies to be subjected to such detrimental brainwashing and indoctrination!

                 We are taking statues of George Washington down. Try to erect a monument to a Founding Father now, let alone one with kids staring up at the old, white guy in wonder and adoration. That would be controversial. But want a monument to the Devil? Ahh, Hell, no problem!

                Where we are: 2015 edition.


Monday, July 27, 2015

U.S. Declaring Independence From Thomas Jefferson

                In response to the latest backlash against “white privilege” and its attendant pro-slavery symbols and history, Jefferson (Bus) Lines is re-branding itself as “George Jefferson Bus Lines,” after the beloved black protagonist in the hit television series that ran from 1975 until 1985. A company spokesperson said, “We just wanted to clarify which Jefferson we were really named after. We couldn’t be more proud of our history or our namesake.” The change will go into effect August 1st. Jefferson Lines was established in 1919.
                In a related story, the iconic rock band Jefferson Starship (aka Jefferson Airplane) released a statement earlier today allowing that they will henceforth be known as “Lincoln Starship.”
                Additionally, the Jefferson City, Missouri, City Council announced yesterday that the town would forevermore be known as “Obama City,” and that it is deeply proud of “this fundamental transformation of our fair burg.”
                Last week, Bloomington Jefferson High School in Bloomington, Minnesota, announced it will now be officially dubbed, “Bloomington LGBTG High School,” in honor of our more deserving sexually and gender-diverse communities.
                Moreover, the Obama administration has announced plans to remove Jefferson from the nickel beginning in 2016. He will be replaced by Louis Farrakhan. In addition, “In God We Trust” will be replaced on the formerly-Jefferson-nickel by the slogan “Screw You Jew Bastards.” The term “Liberty,” also on the previously-Jefferson-adorned coin will be supplanted by “Arbeit Machs Du Frei, Ya?” The depiction of Monticello on the back of the nickel will go away, as well, to be replaced by a hammer and sickle.
                President Obama released a statement just hours ago affirming "how proud I am of the progress this country has made under my peerless leadership, despite the objections and obfuscations of the religious troglodytes, the reactionary racists, the Fox News Fascists, the country-music-loving, Confederate-flag-waving-whackos, those in fly-over country pathetically and dangerously clinging to their God and their guns, and other assorted name-calling and mean-spirited weirdos that keep us from coming together as one great nation.”


Sunday, July 26, 2015

President Barack Obama And "The Only Options"

                 Recently, President Obama, explaining the urgency of reaching- and ratifying- a nuclear accord with Iran, essentially said that it is either this agreement right now, or it’ll be war eventually. Those, he stated, were “the only options.”
                The only options? Doubting the veracity of this claim, this reporter diligently scoured the historical record for precedent. Here is what I found, and now pass along to you, my loyal reader:

                “Michelle, you need to either accept my proposal, or it’s war. Those are the only options.”- Barack Obama, years ago, on bended knee, proposing marriage to Michelle Robinson.

                “Premier Gorbachev, either we sign off on the INF (Intermediate-Range Nuclear Forces) Treaty…or it’s war. Those are the only options.”- What Ronald Reagan did not say to Michael Gorbachev during negotiations on that landmark agreement.

                “Either we sign this treaty today, or it’s war all around. Those are the only two options.”- Representatives of the Cook Islands, Tonga, and Vanuatu to American representatives during late stages of negotiations on the South Pacific Tuna Treaty of 1988.                                                  

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Planned Parenthood Newsletter (Parody)

Planned Parenthood Newsletter
August, 2015 Edition-    

                Don’t wait! Turn your old, unwanted fetus into cold, hard cash…now! That’s right, if you have a few extra (baby) parts lying around, others are dying to pay real money for them. Got an extra little lung or two? How’d you like to turn ‘em into $30 or even $40?! Have a heart you’re not using? We bet you do! Bingo! That’s your ticket to 25 bucks! Are you really lucky? Have a tiny little liver to spare? Winner, winner, chicken dinner!!
                How do I do this you ask? Just bring your aborted fetus, and all his or her (or its genderqueer/questioning, etc.) parts, whether crushed or not, to any of the nine new Planned Parenthood Spawn-Pawn Shops, and their team of highly-trained professionals will examine your aborted off-spring’s remains and make an offer! It’s that easy!
                A reminder, Planned Parenthood’s Auction Night is this coming Thursday. Check in with your local branch for details.
                And don’t forget, two new Planned Parenthood ‘You Pick Our Parts’ lots are opening soon…outside of San Francisco, California and Minneapolis, Minnesota! Come on down and see our organs! “BOGO’s” every Tuesday from nine ‘til noon!
                As always, Planned Parenthood strives to be a good and sensitive steward of our precious environment, and asks that you recycle all of your used or unneeded baby parts. We have recently made this much easier for everyone with the addition of our co-mingled receptacles at many of our recycling stations! No need to separate flesh from bone, tendons from muscles, etc. anymore…just chuck whatever is left of your almost-person into the spacious metal bins and be done with it and head to the beach! What could be easier?!
                Additionally, Planned Parenthood is proud to announce its acquisition of FM (Forget Motherhood? LOL!) radio stations in Madison, Wisconsin and Boston, Massachusetts. We have an eclectic playlist planned for both, including the following classics:
                *“Mothers Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up…”
                *“Harvest Moon”
                *”Arms of My Baby”
                *”Doctor My Eyes”
                *”Head First”
                *”The Money Crop”
                *”I Just Died In Your Arms”
                *”All Lips Go Blue”
                *And so many more!

                Unfortunately, some of our loyal members, clients and service-users may not receive this month’s newsletter, due to the fact that some cold and unfeeling person mutilated and shredded numerous cases of the newsletters just before they were to be mailed, so many copies simply don’t exist anymore. This individual took it upon himself to make the decision of what’s best for others! Can you imagine?! We’ll never know what affect those missing letters could have had on people’s lives.
                Anyway, it’s not like they stopped making fetuses! We’ll survive. And thanks to those of you who have already sent in your condolences!

                Clean speculums!

    Until next time!



Thursday, July 23, 2015

Intolerant Insanity (Or P.C. B.S.)

                 Where will it end? Where- and who- will we be? The sanctimonious ignorance and overbearing intolerance of the politically correct Gestapo are literally endangering Western Society. They are achieving “victory” after “victory” because a significant percentage of those who aren’t card-carrying members of this modern-day Gestapo are afraid of it. As a result, history and common sense are being rounded up and taken on trains to re-education camps. Soon, global warming deniers and other heretics will be relocated to various fetid gulags of the mind and soul.
                The great progressive achievement has been to coerce a majority of the people into believing that tolerance is the greatest virtue. Forget dignity, perseverance, work ethic, discipline, honesty (LOL!), modesty, courage, integrity, et. al. What is more remarkable- and depressing- yet, is that they did this while being utterly intolerant themselves, especially of the aforementioned virtues. (That is what they used to be considered, anyway).
                Tolerance? If one believes in Faith, Hope and Love, one might even forgive an enemy after the fact. This has been the case at times with soldiers after their war is over. After all they’ve seen and been through, they may still have faith in God…and hope that things can get better. In, say, a devoutly Christian manner, they may even believe- and hope- that God loves their (former) enemy.
                That does not translate into letting a person, group or country kill you, your family, friends and loved ones if you could in any way attempt to prevent it, even if it means killing that person or group, and utterly defeating that country.
                To do otherwise would not be tolerance, it would be irrationality, insanity and immorality. It would go against instinct (animalism, survival of the fittest, evolution…science) and religion. The self-proclaimed tolerant are anything but and simply want to brainwash you into tolerating your own marginalization and demise, all the while accusing you of being intolerant.
Amazing. “Tolerance” is not found in the Ten Commandments. Nor the Declaration of Independence. Tolerance is only tangentially and occasionally a virtue at all.
We can no longer tolerate the all-out assault on American values, the rampant Islamic terrorism, the complete subversion of the family, the $200 trillion in unfunded mandates, the absolutely unchecked Russian and Chinese aggression, the bold-faced lying and taunting of the Iranian leadership, and the smug intolerance of those who demand the rest of us be tolerant of all things…especially of their intolerance.    
                Our founders were made of stouter stuff. They rebelled, with little or no government or infrastructure of their own, against the greatest military power the world had yet seen, in part because of a tax on tea (that they had no say in).
                Perhaps a growing number of us can find the consummate courage to refute outright lies and stand up for our own beliefs, whatever the politically-correct Gestapo has in store for us, thereby reinstating America.
                But I doubt our progressive comrades will tolerate that.

                Will we?

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

President Obama, What Was Your Half-Mast Excuse?

                 President Obama finally ordered the White House flag lowered yesterday, five days after four marines and a sailor were shot dead by a Muslim terrorist. He did this only after being heavily criticized by various parties over several days for not having the flag at half-mast, even after many states and other federal buildings had honored the fallen American soldiers by doing so.
                One would think, given how often the flag has been flying at half-mast these past few years, that the death of five unarmed members of our military via Islamic terrorism would have merited the same respect. In 2013, the President ordered American flags to be flown at half-mast for the death of Nelson Mandela, former communist and president of South Africa. Incredibly, he had given the same order months earlier when pop-musician Whitney Houston died, so it seems more than a little odd that the Commander-in-Chief wouldn’t also issue the  order upon the murder, on American soil, of five members of his own country’s military.
                The President gave the eulogy at the funeral of one of the victims of the recent Charlestown massacre, Sen. Clementa Pinckney, even singing “Amazing Grace,” yet, apparently, has no plans to eulogize any of those fallen members of his own military, slain in an equally horrendous manner. Why?
                Is it a black and white issue? Mr. President, do all lives matter equally to you? Or do some matter more than others?
                The flag should be at half-staff to lament the loss- and honor the passing- of the victims of both of these recent terrorist attacks.

                And of America’s soul.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Bill Cosby And The Presidential Medal Of Freedom

                 President Obama has rejected the notion of revoking Bill Cosby’s Presidential Medal of Freedom. The comedian, accused of sexual misconduct with more than two dozen women, admitted under oath in 2005 that he drugged women with whom he intended to have sex.
                “There’s no precedent for revoking a medal,” the president stated. “We don’t have that mechanism.”
                That’s funny, I don’t recall there being any “precedent” for revoking the existing definition of marriage, either, but we got that done! We’ve recently revoked a former nation’s/regions flag, as well. These two “achievements” are themselves part of the on-going revocation of the Constitution. And common sense.

                Mr. President, you yourself have repeatedly side-stepped congress and ruled by executive fiat.

                Yes, Mr. President, you and your base have “accomplished” many things for which there was no precedent, no mechanism.

                I’m guessing you could find a way to “revoke” one of your own office’s distinguished awards

Monday, July 20, 2015

Stone Mountain And The Repeal Of History

                The Atlanta chapter of the NAACP has called for the removal of the famous Confederate Memorial Carving on Stone Mountain, Georgia, that depicts Jefferson Davis, Robert E. Lee and Stonewall Jackson, three complicated figures who are immensely important to history. This in the Era of Tolerance of All Things?
                Islamic terrorists knocked down the Twin Towers and killed 3,000 innocents, yet we don’t call for the evisceration of any Muslim symbols. In fact, we decided a “Ground Zero Mosque” would be a good thing! In that same context we should have “United Daughters of the Confederacy” booths at the Shiloh and Antietam national battlefields.
                And why aren’t there calls for the removal of other famously racist symbols… like the Democratic Party itself? I mean, George Wallace (“segregation now, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever), Ernest “Fritz” Hollings (who helped put the Confederate flag above the South Carolina courthouse), Robert Byrd  (Klan Leader & ‘Exalted Cyclopes’!), Woodrow Wilson (supported segregation in the South and re-segregated the federal government) and Eugene “Bull” Connor (ordered police dogs and fire hoses to be let loose on peaceful demonstrators led by Martin Luther King) are a who’s who of famous American racists, and there are too many more to list!

                It was right to abolish slavery. 620,000 American soldiers died in the conflict that helped accomplish this.

                It is wrong to abolish history.


Sunday, July 19, 2015

The Supremes

                The United States Supreme Court, struggling to find its way to the proper ruling on several recent landmark cases, has unquestionably turned away from its Constitutional moorings, and, apparently, has looked to the Supremes for inspiration. The iconic, female, Motown singing group, that is.
                In a desperate, last-ditch attempt to identify the basis for the Court’s recent historic decisions overthrowing history, I perused a listing of actual Supremes song titles. Voila’, there it was, too obvious to be a coincidence!
                The first song title I saw was, “Everybody’s Got the Right to Love.” There’s the rock-solid basis for your marriage equality ruling right there! Who knew?
                Next, I spied, “Things Are Changing,” an obvious beckoning to pass Obama-care.
                There are  many other titles fairly begging us to do the progressive thing, and addressing so much current, past or potential legislation.
                For instance, “Baby Love” is clearly about Roe v. Wade.
                “Bad Weather,” obviously addresses climate change. “Come See About Me” may address Anthony Kennedy’s hubris. “I Guess I’ll Miss the Man”  is clearly a statement of the robed-warriors feelings for the now lame-duck President Obama. “I’ll Try Something New,” and “Livin’ in Shame,” of course, are clarion calls for transgender rights.
                Does “Stoned Love” not speak to the need for legalization of marijuana? Surely their classic, “Stop! In The Name of Love” addresses the campus rape crisis, does it not?

                And who among us would be surprised to learn that, “Some Things You Never Get Used To” accurately describes the thoughts and feelings of Justices Alito, Roberts, Scalia and Thomas each morning when they are first presented with the countenance of Ruth-Bader-Ginsberg? 

Friday, July 17, 2015

Nuclear Accord With Iran

Thursday, July 15
Washington, D.C.-

                President Obama, brandishing a copy of the proposed nuclear accord with Iran,  proclaimed to the assembled reporters at a White House news conference that he had achieved, “peace for our time!”
                Oh wait, I’m sorry, that was Neville Chamberlain prior to World War II after signing a peace pact with Adolf Hitler. What the president actually said was, “Either the issue of Iran obtaining a nuclear weapon is resolved diplomatically through a negotiation or it’s resolved through force, through war. Those are the options.” Those are the only two options?
                There is a third option that you don’t want people to talk about. The option you actually chose.
                The deal, which eliminates billions of dollars in economic sanctions, will leave Iran flush with cash to, say, fund terrorism. Or spend on their nuclear program.
                The accord “requires” Iran to give up thousands of centrifuges and lower its uranium enrichment levels, etc. However, the agreement is rendered moot by the fact that international inspectors will only have access to Iran’s declared nuclear facilities and must request permission to visit the nation’s military sites, permission that will likely not be granted. Moreover, Iran was granted a 24-day window before those international inspectors could even gain access to suspicious sites!
                Worried that your teenager is hiding drugs or naughty magazines from you in his bedroom? “Well, son, I’m going to inspect your room, but I will give you a 24-day window to prepare for my visit. Oh, and I won’t look under the mattress. Here’s $50.” That’s a strategy with some teeth in it!
                Many think the deal also makes it much more likely that the U.N. will lift its arms embargo on Iran in a few years.
                The deal does nothing to address Iran’s support for terrorism or its “detention” of several American citizens. When queried, the President said that Iran would have simply taken advantage of any U.S. effort to link the deal to the release of United States citizens.

                And  we know you wouldn’t allow them to take advantage of you. Or Us. Right?

                We are all hostages now.


                (After signing the non-aggression pact with Chamberlain, Hitler dismissed it as, “just a scrap of paper” that left the Third Reich free to do as it pleased).

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Pope Francis And The Communist Crucifix

                Bolivia’s president, Evo Morales, gave Pope Francis a special gift this past Thursday, during the Pontiff’s visit to his South American nation. The gift? Why, a crucifix carved into a hammer and sickle, of course! The Pope is on record as stating he wasn’t offended by the presentation of the “communist crucifix.” Indeed, all accounts say he accepted the gift and took it home with him.
                In retrospect, this shouldn’t be a big surprise, as he spent much of his time in Bolivia- as he has elsewhere of late- railing against capitalism. Yet, ironically enough, before his first mass in country, he changed into his papal vestments in a nearby Burger king.
                Incredibly- or would that it were- both the Vatican and the Bolivian government insisted with straight faces that Morales, no friend of religion, really wasn’t trying to make a political statement with the gift. Yet I’m guessing they may have frowned upon the gift if the crucifix bore the Burger King logo or had a confederate flag attached to it instead of being implanted onto a hammer and sickle. What the Hell, communism has only killed a little over 60 million people in its time, and enslaved countless millions more, but, hey, red meat can kill too? Right? Right?!
                This stupefyingly sacrilegious “gift” is entirely in keeping with recent social, cultural, political and religious trends. Communist countries banished God and religion in order to make room for the state to assume God’s role and communism/socialism to assume religion’s role.
                Obviously I can’t speak for Jesus, but I rather doubt He would be thrilled by having His sacred likeness- on the cross yet- affixed to the modern symbol of world-wide godlessness, oppression and brutality. The gulags attempted to crush faith, hope and love.
                This Pope, the anti- John Paul II, after harshly denouncing the economic system that has done the most of any to liberate millions of people around the world and unfetter them from their economic shackles, actually accepted a “gift” from an atheist socialist that blasphemed his savior…and he shrugged.

                Ironically, Atlas hasn’t.



Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Near-Future Headlines


 Supreme Court Bans Heterosexual Unions
                                                                                                                                                     Farrakhan Appeals To Have White People Banned; Court To Hear Appeal

 White House To Be Renamed “Bright House”

 Major Universities To Bar Use Of The Word “White”

 Those With The Last Name Of “White” Fleeing Country

 It’s Finally Settled, University Of North Dakota Teams To Be Called The “Rainbow Priders”

 The Star-Spangled Banner To Be Replaced By The “Spangled Rainbow Banner”
                                                                                                                                                           White Onions, White Bass, Whitefish, White Papers, Etc., To Be Re-christened As “Pale -----“

 Supreme Court Votes 5-4 To Ban Moms, Apple-Pie, Baseball

 Uncle Sam Out, “Pat” New Symbol Of U.S. Government

 Country’s Gay Spokesmen Announce Formation Of The U.S. “Hair Force”

 Celebrate Diversity! Welcome An Invasive Species Into Your Home, Lake Or Neighborhood!

 Supreme Court Bans Designation Of "Male" Or "Female" For Fasteners, Hardware

 Supreme Court To Decide Whether Constitution Is Constitutional


Monday, July 13, 2015

Conservative Restraint, Liberal Attack

                 Most of us conservatives are “afraid” to say anything that may possibly seem impolitic around more liberal types. This restraint is almost never accorded to us. Friends and family are no exception. That is why things only go one way in this culture. That is the main reason why radical progressives have been able to change society so quickly, literally in a historical heartbeat. We, the ones comically called racist, sexist, bigoted, etc., desperately want to appear open and tolerant; moreover we truly wish to be polite and not ruin dinner with the in-laws. Most of us realize we aren’t perfect in God’s eyes and aren’t keen to judge, except in cases that we honestly believe could have dire consequences for the country- and the planet.
                This is clearly not true of the In-Your-Face “Pride!” type movements and the liberals that constitute their ranks. “We’re fierce, we’re feminists, and we’re in your face!” Global warming skeptic? No, you are a “Denier.” Family member or not, they typically don’t subscribe to the old conservative notion not to discuss sex, religion or politics when junior brings his first girlfriend home for dinner.
                Ironically, liberals know this and prey on the decency of their restrained conservative adversaries to no end. To them, the ends justify the means. No matter what.
                Conservatives must first try to thoroughly explain their ideas and principles and why those ideas and principles are superior to rampant progressivism, why they have historically brought more people into more wealth and happiness. They cannot continue to “stand down” out of fear or “decency.”
                The Founders rebelled over a relatively minor increase in the tax on tea, as it illustrated the intolerable concept of taxation without representation. It was a conservative rebellion, designed to do whatever it took, nothing less and nothing more, to recapture that established British right of representation.
                They realized, as the Civil-War generation did years later, that some principles are worth fighting for, indeed must be fought for, if an individual’s or society’s life is to hold any meaning. They did this in the interest of those here now, and of those to come. If there is absolutely no one and nothing worth dying for, there is, by definition, nothing worth living for.
                The next time you conservatives find yourself at the family dinner table and your Aunt Betty starts talking about how screwed up America is, how global warming is undeniable and how multi-sexual, trans-gendered folks should be able to use any bathroom they want and have the government (taxpayers) pay for their contraception and then exclaims that conservatives are mean-spirited and Rush Limbaugh is a big, fat, idiot…stand your ground.
                To do any less would be craven.

                And deeply immoral, as it will guarantee that the dire consequences come to pass.

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Fifty Shades Of...Shabani?

                Shabani, an 18-year-old, 400 pound, male silver-back gorilla quartered at the Higashiyama Zoo and Botanical Gardens in Nagoya, Japan, is a big hit with human females. He has frequently been called “Hunky,” and been credited with “brooding good looks.” Some of the women say he seems to favor “smoldering poses,” almost as if to tease them. Apparently, Shabani is more ripped- and buff- than most of his kind and is at his peak, physically.
                The zoo’s spokesman said “we’ve seen a rise in the number of female visitors. Women say he’s very good looking.”

                This is oddly in keeping with the innate backlash against the hyper-feminist emasculation of males and the attempted blurring of the sexes by every imaginable means. This is a more, shall we say… unusual… manifestation of the counter-cultural desire of many women to celebrate and be around masculinity- or even be dominated by it- as evidenced by the stupefying success of the “Fifty Shades” trilogy and the vast number of books that have aped its format.

Friday, July 10, 2015

U.S. Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy To Host T.V. Show On The Mystery Channel

October 12, 2015
Entertainment News Syndicate-

                The Mystery Channel, the newest entry into an already crowded field of cable television stations, debuted last week…to general critical acclaim.
                The nascent network’s most anticipated show is titled, “Anthony Kennedy’s Divining Rod,” and features the Chief Justice Himself trying to find various people, things- and even concepts- that have famously gone lost or missing over time. The pilot airs tomorrow night, Tuesday, October 13th at 8 p.m. E.S.T.
                The new network’s president stated, “We feel that if he could find the absolute right to gay marriage in the Constitution, that he should have a real chance of putting an end to some of the most mysterious disappearances that have plagued and intrigued humanity over the millennia.”
                The Mystery Channel has 12 episodes (13 weeks) currently “in the can” for season one, with the following schedule synopsis:

                Pilot (Ep. 1; “Elvis, Is That You?”)- Anthony, or “K.K.” (King Kennedy), as he’s often referred to in the show, attempts to track down Elvis Presley.
                Ep. 2; “It’s Plane To See”- In this thrilling episode, K.K. will do his best to locate the remains of Malaysian Flight 370!
                Ep. 3; “Re-Union”- K.K. seeks Jimmy Hoffa.
                Ep. 4; “She Flew The Coop”- Just back from his previous expedition, Justice Kennedy is on the hunt for Amelia Earhart.
                Ep. 5; “Exit, Stage Left”- The Chief takes on his most challenging task to date: locating the Democratic Party of Harry Truman and JFK.
                Ep. 6; “And It Used To Have A Soul, Too”- Our favorite man in black goes in search of the Republican Party’s spine.
                Ep. 7; “Didn’t You Use To Be America?”- Tony tries to track down limited government of, by and for…the people.
                Ep. 8; “She-mails”- Chief Justice Anthony Kennedy is his name and crime is his game. This time he tries to hunt down the missing Hillary Clinton State Department e-mails. Two-part episode.
                Ep. 9; “Two If By Sea?”- K.K.’s off to find the Ark of the Covenant.
                Ep. 10; “Is it not U.S.?”- The robed-wonder tries to conjure up the Lost City of Atlantis.
                Ep. 11; “Is There An App For That?”- K.K. frantically looks for Bristol Palin’s virginity!
                Ep. 12; “Umm, Like, Whatever Dude?!”- In the breathtaking first-season finale’, the Chosen One is off in search of…intelligent life on Earth.


Thursday, July 9, 2015

The U.S. Supreme Court Redefines Lightning

Washington, D.C.
July  21, 2015

                The U.S. Supreme Court ruled today that lightning can no longer strike only where positive and negative ions are attracted to each other. Five of the nine Supreme Court justices found that exclusive positive-negative ion interaction of that kind is discriminatory to positive-positive and negative-negative ion relationships and therefore unconstitutional. “We hereby decree that opposites shall not necessarily attract anymore,” stated Ruth Bader Ginsburg in the majority opinion.

                Proponents of Lightning-Strike-Equality hailed this as a "truly landmark decision."

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Taking Charge Of America On A LARC!

                Several Seattle area high schools have banned Coke (the soft-drink “Coca-Cola”) from their premises , in order to eliminate any chance that a school-kid might make a poor choice that could potentially be detrimental to his or her health.
                Some of those same high schools are, however, implanting intrauterine devices  (IUD’s) into the uteruses of girls as young as 13, at (unwitting) taxpayer expense and without parental notification. These  IUD’s are called LARC’s ( long-acting, reversible contraception) and are provided to the kids by Taking Charge, a  Planned Parenthood program available in the Washington state region.
                According to CNSNews, a representative for the Take Charge program confirmed this in answer to a query by stating, “if the young person is not choosing abstinence, she would be able to select a LARC and have it inserted without parental consent.” How would you feel, if you were a parent of one of those girls? Stunned, ignored and used likely wouldn't begin to describe your feelings. Talk about real child abuse and endangerment!

                “Courtney dear, we can’t let you order a cola, that would be immoral, but we will insert a contraceptive device through your vagina and into your uterus...for free...and it’ll be our little secret!”

                Taxation without representation? Taxation by obfuscation? Child abuse without parental notification? The State is essentially telling kids to go have sex and promising them that it will keep them protected from any of the act's consequences...and from any parental guidance!

                Big Brother, that's more than a little creepy.

                Say, didn’t you used to be…America?


Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Monuments To Freedom? (Obamacare, Marriage Equality & The Culture War)

                The United States is literally being utterly transformed at an unprecedented rate…right before our very eyes. Things that would have been thought impossible- or that weren’t even thought of- only ten, twenty or thirty years ago have come to pass. Nationalized healthcare, gay marriage, gender-neutral bathrooms, nudity and swearing on prime-time network television, pastors and priests threatened for citing passages from the Bible, mandatory coverage of birth-control costs by insurance companies, Sharia law being cited as the basis for court cases in the U.S., Iran obtaining nuclear weapons with the consent- nay, aid- of the U.S., naturalized relations with Cuba (though they changed not at all), strained relations with Israel (though they changed not at all), the legalization of pot, etc., etc., etc. It is literally hard to keep up with the speed, length and breadth of the progressive’s victories.
                The Culture War, the only one that really mattered as it presaged and paved the way for all of the progressive’s other gains on various fronts, is all but over. Conservatives, who emphasized the importance of economic, logical and historical thought and perspective, have been routed. There is no way back, no overcoming this thrashing. Kardashian rump trumps economic theory every time. Lesbians lick logic, video games overwhelm history and politics is porno. Rhetoric is only relevant if it concerns sports. The enforced tolerance of political correctness, with its implicit and explicit threats, always terrorizes and subdues intelligence, independence, skepticism, and sanity, unless these are coupled with absolute courage and selflessness. Good luck with that.
                The Confederate Flag has been banned and the Rainbow Banner is being raised. Students at the University of Texas have let known their desire to have a statue of George Washington removed from campus. What other traditionally American symbols will be similarly banned or replaced? Well, possibly the Stars and Stripes for one. A number of citizens (in San Diego) signed a petition recently to get rid of Old Glory and replace it with a new national flag that includes a pyramid and a rainbow.
                I, for one, believe Mount Rushmore has to go. Not only are there 4 white men on it, but the very rock-face they are carved out of is nearly white. I mean…what the Hell?
                The Statue of Liberty?  “She’s” going to have to be re-made into a gender-questioning or gender-queer or gender-fluid personage who has a torch for freedom… of multi-sexual expression.
                The Washington Monument? That simply can’t stand…unless it is recast as a phallus symbol “sticking up” for the Gay Pride movement.

                President Obama campaigned on a promise of fundamentally transforming America.

                With a year and a half left in his presidency, he has already done so.

Monday, July 6, 2015


                “The World’s #1 Problem is…Too Many People!!”

                Call 1-800-HUMANISM

                The first message (quotations mine) was painted neatly onto the back of a van I was driving behind this past week. The invitation to become a humanist (or at least call their 800#) was in the form of a bumper sticker on the fender directly below.
                By definition, humanism is a belief that humans are good, emphasizes all things human and generally dismisses religion. It is supposedly an emphasis on the rational and on reason.

                The van’s owner must be a product of our modern-day public schools.

                Beam me up, Scotty!


Saturday, July 4, 2015

Fourth Of July Symbolism And Substance

                As the White House bathed in rainbow light last week, I was prodded to ruminate about upcoming Fourth of July events. Disney similarly enveloped its signature buildings in gay colors and it got me to thinking. I’m sure the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco will be illuminated in pastels this weekend, but I’d like to see Mount Rushmore flooded by the rainbow colors for the Fourth of July celebration.
                They’d look great on Washington, et. al. I can practically hear Teddy Roosevelt “Bully, bullying!” as the purple and pink hues caress his visage!
                Now we know why he said, “speak softly and carry a big stick.” Wink, wink.
                Well, after all, he was a Rough Rider, right? Ooohhh!
               (If there was an LGBTG Mount Rushmore, who’d be on it? Harry Hay, Caitlynn Jenner, Ellen DeGeneres and Anthony Kennedy?).
                Every post that has ever appeared on this site has been written exclusively by yours truly. (I apologize for that!). Until today.
               I recently came across a years-old, op-ed page post from a small town, upper-midwestern-state newspaper that really impressed me. The message is simple, straight-forward and logical. In honor of who we  were and what we formerly believed (that made us a uniquely great nation), I now post it here, with permission, this 4th of July, the year of our Lord 2015:

               There are certain truths which are true no matter how much the world may question or deny them. In the economic realm, for instance, you cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of it. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. Governments cannot give to people what they do not first take away from people. And that which one man receives without working for, another man must work for without receiving. And nothing can kill the initiative of a people quicker than for half to get the idea they need not work because the other half will feed them, and for the other half to get the idea it does no good to work since someone else receives the rewards.

                                                                                         From the Edgerton, Minnesota Enterprise 

Friday, July 3, 2015

United States Capital To Change Name?

June 25, 2016
Washington, D.C.

                Pressure is mounting today for Congress to change the name of the capital district. Various Gay Pride organizations and a vast assortment of other groups, individuals and companies are lobbying for the area to be rechristened “Hay, D.C.,” after Harry Hay, known as the Founding Father of the Gay Rights Movement. States and cities across the country are also scrambling to change their names from those honoring our revolutionary-era Founding Fathers in order to foster progressiveness and tolerance “ and throw off the yoke of stale, pale tradition and let our Freak Flags fly, baby,” according to an official with the city of Madison, WI. (The official believes that Wisconsin’s capital city will soon be known as Kamenyville in honor of Frank Kameny, another legendary pillar of the push for Pride).
                There was some early debate over calling our nation’s capital city “Hay, D.C.,” as several lawmakers thought it sounded too much like “hayseed,” and “no one likes those damn hayseeds, and we don’t want to be associated with them in any way,” stated a congressional spokesperson. But then the head of the Committee for Renaming Important Municipalities and Entities (CRIME) stated that, if anything, it was far more likely that people would hear it as “AC-DC,” and any skeptics were appeased. A motion to proceed was granted. A final vote is expected as early as tomorrow.

                A breathless nation awaits!

Thursday, July 2, 2015

The Obergefell Decision And The U.S. Extreme Court

                The saddest aspect of the Supreme Court’s Obergefell decision is the public reaction in its aftermath. Many conservatives/Constitutionalists have just given up without a fight and have simply bid a fond adieu to America. The left, on the other hand, has been positively giddy over their unexpected victory.
                Had the Court ruled against forced marriage “equality” in all 50 states, the progressives would’ve slammed the “conservative court,” and denounced Scalia, Thomas, et. al. as jack-booted thugs and oppressors of the people, reactionaries in robes.
                It is possible that a rational person who believes in the rule of law and limited government of, by, and for the people- i.e. the very principles that have made America unique and successful- might have been a strong supporter of gay marriage, yet fervently wished that the (unelected) Court not impose it on the people. (Gay marriage has been on the ballot in a number of states, to be voted on by the people. It has passed into law in this way, as well).
                Yes, that would have been nice to see. But I haven’t personally seen or heard anyone on the left say anything of the sort. Funny, those progressives who want a unicameral legislature and want this to be a pure democracy, the “one person one direct vote, eliminate the electoral college and let the people speak!” types (the Bush-Gore 2000 Florida election comes to mind) change their tune in a hurry when it benefits them to do so. When it comes to any law they want passed, any behavior they want sanctified, any mandate they feel would aid them in any way, it’s others-be-damned, force it on those hayseeds!

Mourning in America.


An Urgenda Agenda

                A Dutch court ordered its government on Wednesday to cut the country’s greenhouse gas emissions by a minimum of 25 percent by the year 2020. The ruling by The Hague District Court could be the basis for similar cases around the world, according to the director of the renewable energy group Urgenda, the entity that took the government to court on behalf of 900 citizens.
                This decree comes hard on the heels of Pope Francis’ encyclical urging nations to quickly overhaul their economies (what could possibly go wrong?) in order to cut greenhouse gas emissions. The Dutch court said that based on current government climate policy, the country will cut its emissions by “only” 17 percent by 2020.
                Wendel Trio, director of Climate Action Network Europe, said, “The verdict is a milestone in the history of climate legislation, because it is the first time that a government was ordered to raise its climate ambition by a court. We hope this kind of legal action will be replicated in Europe and around the world.”
                Yes, that is exactly what the world needs, un-elected courts ordering the people’s elected representatives around under penalty of law, annexing their freedom. Just like in the United States!
                A U.N. climate science panel has previously stated that the world must cut emissions by some 40 to 70 percent by 2050.
                The Dutch plaintiffs argued that the government has a legal, constitutional obligation to protect its people against looming dangers, including the effects of climate change. But that same government does not, apparently, have a similar obligation to protect its people against such nebulous and distant threats as Russia or Islamic terrorism.
                If mankind survives for much longer, this will be seen as a most confusing era. Our priorities are comically or tragically screwed up, depending on one’s perspective. Vast majorities are letting themselves be marginalized by tiny minorities of environmentally “progressive,” statist, would-be tyrants.
                We know that there have been naturally occurring ice ages and warm periods alternating over the course of many thousands of years, yet we are letting pseudo-scientists potentially panic us into economic ruin on the basis of a few decades worth of “cooked” temperature readings.

                 Just 40 years ago, during the 1970’s, scientists were predicting doom by way of massive global cooling. Where would we be today had we taken that “threat” to heart and acted rashly? 

                An interesting question, is it not?

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

A King's Ransom

                 President Obama has outlined new policies that will make it easier for families of Americans held hostage to pay ransom to terrorists to help free their loved ones. This is in contravention of the long-held U.S. belief that negotiating with terrorists would place Americans abroad at greater risk.
                No formal changes are yet being considered to a law prohibiting material support for terrorists, though the Justice Department indicated it will simply ignore the law in the vast majority of situations.
                The administration’s decision allows families to take actions the U.S. government technically will not, and is likely to endanger more Americans, at home and overseas, as critics of the policy such as John Boehner, R-Ohio, have argued.

                Despite the aforementioned law prohibiting material support for terrorists, the Obama administration did negotiate with the Taliban last year, exchanging five Guantanamo Bay prisoners for Army Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl, who had been captured after deserting his post in Afghanistan.