Wednesday, January 31, 2018

The State Of The Union 2018

                It has become obvious after watching Democrats’ reaction to the State of the Union Address, if it wasn’t before, that the party now honestly disdains American citizens. What’s more, the mere mention of America/the USA, God, family, or the U.S. military actually makes them queasy. (Webster’s New Universal Unabridged Dictionary definition #3: “uneasy or uncomfortable, as feelings, the conscience, etc.”). Unbelievable.
                How fast this has occurred! How different this is than even 20 or 30 years ago. How far removed from JFK or FDR. How tragically sad. The Democratic Party is now inarguably- and openly- the party of high taxes, illegal immigration, abortion, redistribution, and malleable/open genders and bathrooms. That’s it. That’s their platform. On the face of it, this should be a ludicrously bad one. So, why do they keep pushing it, keep betting on it to prevail? Why do they keep making it more and more exclusionary and extreme? Because they see the rapid demographic changes, that they themselves are driving. That’s why they are driving them. Incredibly, this platform already has the support of around one-third of the American voters, maybe even closer to 40%. And, with more and more illegals pouring in from nations that hate the United States and/or have no history of liberty or Natural Law, it soon will be a winning one. And they know it.
Democrats, you see, are in this Game of Thrones for the long run. They will do anything to obtain- and retain-  power, whatever the cost to their country.
 As for Republicans? Well, unless they grow a spine and larger cojones, despite their best intentions… winter is coming.

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

The Trumpys

                Oscars, Emmys, Tonys, ESPYs, Grammys, it makes no difference… it appears that every award show from now until the sun expires will be nothing but a vehicle to bash President Donald Trump and conservative Republicans. In days of yore, the award-winning performers would usually step up to the microphone, gratitude on their faces, and say something like, “I’d like to thank the Academy,” etc., before making a few other brief remarks and returning to their seats. Today's performers come up to the microphone, countenance’s dripping in vitriolic superiority, and say something like, “In light of these dark times, I accept this award in honor of all those oppressed and marginalized by despots like President Trump, who isn’t fit to share the label of ‘human being,’ blah, blah, blah, and so- in closing- I ask you all to join with me in resisting Hitleresque thugs like Trump and his fellow Neanderthals in the Republican Party. Do it for the Dreamers. Do it for the world. #MeToo.”
                Soon, a new award will be given out based solely on the performer’s attack on Trump/Republicans. How heartfelt was it? How long? How did it rate on the viciousness scale? How creative was it? Did it inspire others to anger and violence? Actors and actresses, college professors, late night and morning television hosts, mainstream media morons, and Silicon Valley corporate bigwigs will all clamor to get their hands on a coveted “Trumpy,” to graphically prove to the world how much more compassionate they are than the unaccredited, Trumpy-less deplorables in fly-over country.
                Every genre and mode of communication has now been given over to bashing Trump and/or Republicans. Nearly every television show. Almost every movie. Newspapers and magazines, music and theatre, they all spew the same message. This group-think has spilled over into classrooms, cartoons, comics, sports pages and obituaries. Crossword puzzles and recipes are next, I assume. The purportedly open-minded will take every opportunity for self-aggrandizement, but will brook no dissent. This is not what courage looks like. In fact, it bears a strong resemblance to cowardice. “Resistance” sounds nice, but who among them would have the self-confidence and integrity to resist the resistance?
                The self-styled creative crowd thinks they are pioneers and pushing the envelope when they make dads, businessmen, and straight white males look like buffoons or monsters. They think they are in the vanguard of “the Resistance” when they incessantly mock Christianity and Christians, and portray residents of rural, heartland areas as intolerant, racist, inbred, ignoramuses clinging to their God and their guns. They might try to deny this in public, but I’ve been in private with enough of them to know this is literally an accurate depiction of what many of these “progressives” believe.
                This all having been said, let’s take a look at the fresh new line-up of television shows:

*MSNBC, 6:00AM- Morning Joe: Lovebirds Joe and Mika host this show in which a “casual atmosphere full of lively political discussions” leads to near constant character assassination of Trump and his ilk!
*ABC, 9:00AM- The View: Join Joy Behar, Whoopie Goldberg and friends for a delightful morning of Trump-bashing! Start your day off right with insightful and hilarious mockery of evil Republicans!
*CBS, 3:00PM- The Ellen DeGeneres Show: Join Ellen and guests for a comedic yet gentle send-up of all things traditional!
*PBS/TPT, 6:00PM- The PBS NewsHour: an informative look at current events from an unbiased deep-state perspective…
*NBC, 8:00PM- Will & Grace: Your favorite LGBTQ characters are back for some zany but poignant fun…at the expense of those intolerant, Bible-thumping Republican-types, of course!
*ABC, 8:00PM- Modern Family: A tender and funny, subtler skewing of all things traditional.
*ABC, 9:00PM- All My Gay Friends Are Getting Married: A hilarious rebuttal to repressive, oppressive traditionally religious bigots! Can’t miss TV!
*MSNBC, 9:00PM- The Rachel Maddow Show: Join Rachel as she skewers such evil entities as Fox News, President Trump, the Republican Party, traditional beliefs, Capitalism and traditional Christianity (but not Islam!). The weirdly endearing one will soon have you wondering just what she’ll do and say next!
*CBS/NBC/ABC, 10:00PM: Take your pick of the evening news shows, all of which deliver straight-forward, hard-hitting news. The stories you care about… from those who know exactly what you should think about them!
*CBS, 10:30- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Revel in hilariously savage attacks on our President!
*ABC, 10:30- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Enjoy Jimmy as he relates heart-tugging stories of Republicans that want to throw your beloved wheel-chair-bound grandmother off a cliff and poison our water. Bonus: hilariously savage attacks on President Trump!
*NBC, 10:30PM: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Join Jimmy as he has fun with various politicians, especially Trump and the Republican retrogrades!
*NBC, 11:30PM- Late Night with Seth Myers: Seth never fails to entertain as he relentlessly, remorselessly- and delightfully- goes after our degenerate Commander-in-Chief and his acolytes!
*Netflix, On Demand- Chelsea: One of Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People in the World delivers wonderfully over-the-top diatribes against white men, Trump, Republicans, Christians, and traditional families. Cutting edge!
*Comedy Central, Various- Broad City: The two female protagonists are so committed to progressive values they literally won’t utter the “T-word.” (Trump). Raunchy fun ensues as they gleefully mock each and every foundational building block of American, Christian society! (Editor’s Choice Award; Editor’s note: there are other great options on this network such as “The President Show,” and “Inside Amy Schumer.” Each do yeoman’s work delegitimatizing the white, male patriarchal culture in which we are all immersed).
*CNN, Various- Every CNN program, every hour, every day: This network is the gold-standard for demonstrating how there is no such thing as “fake news.” It is obvious, avers the network, that fake news does not exist, and is simply a construct of fevered, right-wing imaginations. It makes clear that the whole discredited concept of fake news, is, in fact, obviously fake news.


Monday, January 29, 2018

Physician Declares President Trump Healthy, Media Says No Way

             It was hilarious watching the mainstream media refuse to accept President Trump’s physician’s declaration that the president is healthy as the proverbial horse, physically, and mentally. It was yet another instance of those in that media appearing unhinged.
 Dr. Ronny Jackson, who has served as presidential physician since 2013, said the president is in “excellent” health, and is mentally fit, though he did recommend the Commander-in-Chief lose a few pounds. This news shocked and saddened the mainstream media, which reacted with stunned denial. Various and sundry outlets and commentators talked of Trump’s BMI (body mass index), and his “bad” cholesterol. More than one speculated that he was ripe for a heart attack, with CNN’s Sanjay Gupta flatly stating that the president has heart disease. Gupta has never examined the president, but, hey, if it feels good, say it, right? I’m surprised one of them hasn’t claimed that the president has Dengue Fever, Cedar Apple Rust, or erectile dysfunction.
The president, an avid golfer who Sports Illustrated called the best golfer of any president in history, has been pestered by questions about his health since he announced he was a candidate for the Republican presidential nomination. In December of 2015, Dr. Harold N. Bornstein of Lenox Hill Hospital in Manhattan stated: "If elected, Mr. Trump, I can state unequivocally, will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency." But no physician’s proclamation will ever deter anti-Trumpers from their cherished delusions, just as a total lack of evidence will never convince them that Trump didn’t collude with Russia. And just as all the evidence in the world won’t convince them that the Obama administration, the DNC, or the Clinton Foundation did.
Members of the Fourth Estate, many of them overweight themselves, have recently: obsessed over the president’s predilection for diet sodas and cheeseburgers, accused him of overfeeding decorative carp, openly wondered if he was crazy or has early-onset Dementia, and questioned his intelligence. They have been joined in this endeavor by numerous professors and countless numbers of the establishment elite…of both parties. A few of the latter have compared him or his actions to Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler, Mao Zedong, and other such totalitarian luminaries. Republican Senator Jeff Flake also chastised the president for saying that the media are the “enemy of the people,” something the president never said. Trump actually tweeted, “The FAKE NEWS media is not my enemy, it is the enemy of the American people.” That is a huuuge difference, indeed.
The New York Times has had to retract several news stories, and ABC’s Brian Ross was suspended for an astounding error in reporting involving the Trump administration. When members of “The View” received notice of the report before it was discredited, believing that it could get the president impeached, they waved it around in giddy disbelief, as if it were a winning lottery ticket. 
Who wouldn’t be thrilled to see their president impeached? Who wouldn’t be actively rooting for the death of their own duly elected leader?

So, who is unhealthy, who is unstable, unhinged, insane?

To each and every one of the ignorant and despicable armchair doctors across the land, I say: “(Pseudo) physician, heal thyself.”

Sunday, January 28, 2018

California To Ban Single-Use Drinking Straws?

                Ian Calderon does not like plastic drinking straws.

                So what, you say, it’s his prerogative, his choice?

                Calderon is the Democratic majority leader of California’s lower house, and he has introduced a bill to prevent restaurants from offering customers straws with their beverages unless they specifically request one.* Calderon issued an explanatory press release stating: “We need to create awareness around the issue of one-time use plastic straws and its (sic) detrimental effects on our landfills, waterways, and oceans.”
                Other California cities, such as San Luis Obispo and Davis, have already passed straws-on-request-only laws, and, in Seattle, Washington, food service businesses won’t be allowed to offer plastic straws or utensils come July. The powerful anti-one-time-use straw lobby claims that Americans use 500 million plastic straws a day, a truly preposterous figure that absolutely no one can support, let alone verify, and that appears to have been plucked from someone’s nether regions. Nevertheless, the Los Angeles Times threw its weight behind Calderon’s bill by endorsing straws-by-request-only policies via an editorial in which it also saw fit to caution readers that “repetitive sucking may cause or exacerbate wrinkles on the lips or around the mouth.” (Please insert your own joke here. This is California, after all).
                Naturally, reusable straw manufacturers are pushing for a total ban on single-use straws and are lobbying for the adoption of laws that allow for only glass and steel straws to be used or disseminated. More moderate factions are willing to consider allowing citizens to suck on paper straws, since they are biodegradable, though eight times more expensive.
                Under Assemblyman Calderon’s law, a waiter or waitress who serves a drink with an unrequested straw in it could face up to 6 months of jail time and a fine of up to $1,000.
                I knew “straw purchases” were illegal in terms of firearm sales (one person buying a gun and filling out the federal paperwork for another person), but I had no idea purchasing a straw would soon be, as well. Someday, in the not too distant future, there will be a black market for straws, a “straw cartel” will emerge, and straw prices will go through the roof. Informants will be lurking around every restaurant, malt shop, and bar, ready to turn in waitstaff and their “users.” A “tip line” will be established and public-service announcements will encourage citizens to stay vigilant.
                Think of what we’re doing now. Try to wrap your minds around this: we’re legalizing the sale of marijuana, but criminalizing the use of straws. Sanctuary cities are refusing to report illegal aliens, but threatening to put waiters in jail for providing their customers an unrequested straw.

                “Dude, what are you in here for?”
                “Grand theft auto, aggravated assault, and homicide. You?”
                “Unauthorized distribution of an inexpensive, single-use beverage accessory.”
                “Dear God. Good luck, man.”

                Update: Reason Magazine reports that a senior assistant to Calderon says he now intends to amend the bill to remove the fines. But not the jail time?
                *Also see my post of June 18th, 2017: “Berkeley To Ban Plastic Straws”

Saturday, January 27, 2018

Camels Disqualified From Pageant

            Ooh la la! Oh, baby! Long, lovely, lashes, batting coyly, pouty lips, and big, firm humps seductively protruding from perfectly proportioned torsos.

            And those are just the camels.

Well, they would have to be because this is Saudi Arabia, where the womenfolk are covered head to toe, but some 30,000 camels have gathered for the second annual King Abdulaziz Camel Festival, the largest such pageant in the region. Camels are an important cultural symbol in The Kingdom, which is currently celebrating the month-long festival that features racing, an obedience competition, and yes, a beauty pageant. The event is held in Al Dhana, near Riyadh. According to The National, a United Arab Emirates newspaper, prize money totals $57 million, with nearly $32 million of that reserved for “pageantry.”
But all is not glamor and goodwill. Tragically, chicanery and cheating have come to this year’s festival, which runs through the end of January. Saudi media have reported that twelve camels have been disqualified from the beauty contest after receiving botulinum toxin injections to enhance their drooping lips and pouty expressions. Apparently, a veterinarian was caught injecting the animals with botox, and performing cosmetic surgery to make their ears smaller.
Pageant rules state that the camels’ “beauty” must be “natural” for them to compete, but owners still try to get a leg up on the competition… so to speak… by making their entrants more alluring.  A son of a leading camel breeder told The National that botox: “makes the head more inflated so when the camel comes, it’s like, ‘Oh, look at how big that head is. It has big lips, a big nose.’” The paper also noted that some cheaters even pull the lips of their camels on a daily basis to make them longer, and/or lather them with oil to make their coats appear darker.
So, we want our camel’s lips, nose, face, and head to be bigger, but its ears to be smaller? We want our camels to look like Priscilla Russo?
It’s not camels judging other camels, here. Why are people tarting up these noble ships of the desert? It’s not that lonely out there.
We here in the West can’t talk, however. Just look at our dog shows. And worse, our child beauty pageants.  

Friday, January 26, 2018

France To Make Asking For A Woman's Phone Number A Punishable Offense?

             A new draft proposal, to be presented to the French government in a matter of days, calls for fining men who whistle at women, make audible comments about their appearance, or even ask for their phone numbers, according to the Ouest-France newspaper. The report was prepared by a parliamentary working group initiated by Marlene Schiappa, France’s Secretary of State for Equality, and is intended to combat “sexual contempt.” The document, which has not yet been made public, will soon be presented to Schiappa, Minister of Justice Nicole Belloubet, and Minister of the Interior Gerard Collomb.
Schiappa first called for legislation last October, stating that “street harassment” should be a punishable offense. Those pushing the proposal believe that men should face a minimum fine of 90 Euros, or about $112 (U.S.), if they pay on the spot. If the fine payment is delayed, it could eventually reach a maximum of €350, the equivalent of $435.
Ms. Schiappa, a 34-year-old feminist, is said to be working closely with French President Emmanuel Macron, who believes harassment could be reduced if there is an immediate response when it occurs. Yet, none of the reports I’ve read specifically address how all this egregious male behavior will be immediately responded to. Do authorities expect these brazen heterosexual louts to hang around until a gendarme shows up and issues them a ticket after they’ve been called out by a femme? Will this law, if enacted, be equally applied to Muslim males? If so, the Fifth Republic will be awash in cash.
As you might expect, I foresee some gray areas in this potential law. What if, for example, a guy says to a woman, “I love your dress…it would look great on my boyfriend!” Is this punishable in any way? I mean, he did compliment her in a sense, but not physically. He complimented her (fabulous!) fashion sense, but wasn’t trying to pick her up. Is that harassment?
 And what if a guy only asks a girl for her area code, not her full phone number? Would he be subject to a smaller fine?

Thursday, January 25, 2018

Obama Versus Trump

                Former President Barack Obama wanted to “fundamentally change” the United States. Tragically, he was largely successful in this endeavor. He did so by going around Congress, by ignoring the Constitution, and by executive fiat. His administration was secretive and opaque, yet the press and the elite treated him very favorably and gingerly, with kid gloves. No matter the scandal, nearly everyone gave him a pass.
                Then in came President Trump. Trump wants to change how things are done in Washington and repeal some of the damage done to the nation in the eight years prior to his election. And he is viewed as dangerous, a buffoon, a monster, a boor, a pariah. The press exhibit outright hatred toward him. The kid gloves are off. Their gloves are off, period. Whereas roughly 70% of mainstream media coverage of Obama was positive, virtually 90% of its coverage of Trump, thus far, has been negative.
                Why? What can account for this incredible discrepancy? What of a supposedly unbiased, objective press?
                Sadly, it’s actually very simple. Obama’s actions strengthened the elites, including the Washington power base, albeit at the expense of the American people. Trump’s actions shake up and threaten the elites, especially the Washington power base, in favor of the “ordinary” American citizen. Obama’s constituency was the establishment elites and the special-interest groups, who had a symbiotic if incestuous relationship. Trump’s is Mainstreet USA.
               Obama rose from the mean streets on the South Side of Chicago to the pinnacle of power, gleefully becoming King of the Globalists, in pursuit of single-payer healthcare and one-world government.
  Trump, the billionaire doer and builder, came down from his Tower in Manhattan to fight for the average Joe by supporting and defending the Constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic. Ironic?

  As the French might say: vive la diffĂ©rence!

  Let’s make Middle America great again.

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

CNN: Government Shutdown Could Endanger Earth

                 CNN correspondent Tom Foreman recently put forth a theory that Earth might be in grave danger due to President Trump’s intransigence. During an appearance on “The Lead with Jake Tapper,” Foreman claimed that NASA could stop monitoring asteroids during the government shutdown, while breathlessly noting that, “A big one, by the way, is expected to brush by Earth on February 4.” The Purportedly Panicked One went on to explain that this scenario actually occurred in 2013 during the last government shut down, saying: “For more than two weeks, NASA reportedly stopped monitoring potentially dangerous asteroids.”
      , however, had some inconvenient truths for the Fake News Network’s reporter. First, rather than brushing by the Earth, the offending body will be approximately 2.6 million miles away. Also, Paul Chodas, of the Center for Near-Earth-Object Studies at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory, told the site that the asteroid that Foreman was concerned about “has no chance—zero—of colliding with Earth on February 4 or any time over the next 100 years.”
               That’s good news for anyone who is looking forward to watching the Super Bowl. Or the Winter Olympic Games. Maybe I will buy a new television.
               Asteroids? Trumps fault. Hemorrhoids? Trump’s fault. Opioids? Trump’s fault. Lyme disease, eczema, painful rectal itch? Trump’s fault.
               CNN, and its counterparts/accomplices in the mainstream media, have already blamed Trump for almost every problem under the sun. They would almost certainly blame him if it expired.


Tuesday, January 23, 2018

A Tale Of Two Marches

                The fake news networks (ABC, CBS, NBC) gave the “Women’s March” an inordinate amount of coverage again this year, a combined total of 6 minutes and 43 seconds on their Saturday evening, January 20th broadcasts, in fact. NBC News alone carved out 2 minutes and 42 seconds of precious airtime to cover this year’s march. This is more coverage than they give to the stock market rally or economic news in general, or even to the nuclear war they believe is imminent between North Korea and the United States, to be caused, of course, by the latter’s crazy, diet-soda-swilling Commander-in-Chief. This even though many, if not most, of those marching could not formulate a cogent reply when queried as to just why they were parading. One “woman,” of visually indeterminate sex, did aver that she’d like to kill President Trump, and Vice-President Pence, by holding up a sign that said: “Kill Donald Trump, Kill Mike Pence. It’s guillotine time, bitches!” When asked about the sign, she stated: “I think that we should kill Donald Trump. And I think we should also kill Mike Pence because I wouldn’t want him in office, either.” That’s certainly a prudent way to go about building a stable, prosperous society. Let’s all just kill every candidate and politician we don’t like.  I mean, if we don’t want that person in office, screw what anyone else thinks. Numerous others were also afoot due to their shared hatred of the president. (March Forward Virginia sponsored this year’s demonstration, whereas last year George Soros gave the marching orders).
                This generous coverage is in stark contrast to those network’s almost complete lack of coverage of the “Women’s March for Life” held one day earlier- in Washington, D.C.- which attracted over 100,000 pro-life women.
                Apparently, the mainstream media has collectively arrived at the following conclusion: “We’ll give the broads plenty of attention if they are marching out of sheer, rigid, ideological hatred, but not if they’re marching for something stupid, like life.”
                So, here’s to anarchy! Bring back the French Revolution! Bring back the guillotines, bitches!
                You know what they say about the Women’s March: it comes in like a lion, but goes out like the Silence of the Lambs.

Monday, January 22, 2018

America First: Make America Great Again?

                 America first?

    Those in the self-proclaimed, self-congratulating, self-pleasuring intelligentsia recoil in horror at that xenophobic, almost barbaric phrase.
                But what does it symbolize? What does it truly entail? What does it actually mean…for the United States and the world?
                Make America Great Again. Another controversial statement mocked by the left. But, why? I’m an America Firster, but I believe France should put France first, England should put England first, Poland should put Poland first, etc. And what could possibly be wrong with any country trying to make itself great…whether again or for the first time? (As long as that doesn’t mean conquering other nations by military force).
                Putting one’s country first doesn’t mean one wants to bomb other countries or that one even dislikes them. Most of us who believe in putting America first, in terms of practical policy, also appreciate and respect virtually all other country’s people and cultures, if not their governments. We can usually work with them, and call many of them friends. We greatly value alliances such as NATO. We even encourage cultural exchanges and dialogue with current or potential foes.
                However, when push comes to shove, governments exist to put their own citizen’s well-being first, to provide for the national defense. Otherwise, there would be no need for them. They would, in fact, be moot or counterproductive. Chaos and ennui would result.

                This should not be a revolutionary concept.

                But it is, because the American Founders believed governments should be instituted only to protect and defend their citizens, and allow their unfettered pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness. Not to micromanage every aspect of their lives and punish, enslave or kill them if they interfere with the goals of their betters in the ruling polity. To the Founders, putting America first did not mean telling other countries what to do, did not mean getting involved in unnecessary foreign entanglements, but did mean never letting other nations dictate or control American policy or actions, as supported by its citizens. In this way, putting America first was also best for the world at large, or at least to any independent, freedom-loving people.
                Thus, when a “leader” such as Barack Obama enters the political arena and declares his intention to “fundamentally” change the country, or a Hillary Clinton calls her fellow citizens who might have the temerity to vote for her opponent “deplorables,” something is wrong. They are arrogant, bizarre, destructive anomalies in what used to be a government of, by- and for- the people.

                So, let’s make America great again.

    And, to those of you in other countries: here’s hoping you honestly have the same hopes for your nation, too.


Sunday, January 21, 2018

Man Tries To Order Burrito From Bank Of America Drive-Thru

                “Dude, like, can I get a Burrito Supreme?”
                “No. This is a Bank of America.”
                According to various online reports, a Florida man was so drug (and possibly alcohol) impaired recently that he mistook a Bank of America drive-up lane for a Taco Bell drive-thru…and attempted to order a burrito from an employee.
                Police were summoned to the Tampa-area bank “in reference to a suspected impaired driver.” (Suspected?). A bank manager informed the police that a male driving a blue Hyundai had passed out at the wheel while in the bank’s drive-thru lane. The employee told police he beat on the car’s window until the driver regained consciousness, at which time the driver requested a burrito. The manager informed him that he was not, in fact, at a Taco Bell, and the man drove off. When an investigator arrived on the scene, he found Douglas Francisco, 28, at the wheel of a blue Hyundai in the bank’s parking lot.
               A Hernando County Sheriff’s Office deputy reported Francisco “made several statements that were differing from reality” during police questioning. (Sounds like Nancy Pelosi!). The deputy also noted that the man exhibited a “delayed reaction to questions as well as slowed movements of his extremities consistent with someone under the influence of prescription narcotics.” Francisco was arrested after field sobriety tests “yielded strong evidence of impairment.” Strong evidence of impairment?! The man tried to order a burrito from a bank! (One wonders if he tried to withdraw cash from a Taco Bell, as well). A search of Francisco’s person yielded both Xanax and Oxycodone pills, for which he had a prescription.
              Francisco was booked into the county jail on charges of driving under the influence, a misdemeanor, and released the next day after posting $500 bail. (And promising to stay away from drugs and drive-thru lanes, I hope).

 “Can I get chips with that?”


Saturday, January 20, 2018

Larry Nassar: Doctor Demented

                Larry Nassar, the former USA Gymnastics team doctor, pleaded guilty recently to sexually abusing team members during medical appointments. Incredibly, he is now attempting to play the victim card himself by complaining that listening to victim impact statements during his sentencing hearing would cause him too much stress.
                In a lengthy letter to the court, Nassar said he was “concerned about my ability to face witnesses these next four days, mentally.” He’s worried that this will be hard on him?! What a classically “progressive” outlook.

                What a monster.

                Did he ever think that his actions may have caused his victims stress? Or worse? Frankly, Mr. Nassar, we don’t give a damn about your feelings and comfort level. You forfeited your “right” to expect others to feel bad for you when you took advantage of those young girls.
                Fortunately, County Court Judge Rosemarie Aquilina, who is presiding over the hearing, summarily dismissed Nassar’s complaint, stating: “This isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.”
                Nassar, who is currently serving a 60-year sentence on child pornography charges, accused Aquilina of seeking media attention by allowing more than 100 accusers to give victim impact statements during the week-long sentencing hearing, characterizing it as a “media circus.” 100 young girl accusers? That is the story. He’s lucky he’s alive today, or he might not be alive at all. (“Can you say ‘guillotine’”?).  Judge Aquilina rightly noted that the proceedings are taking place in a public courtroom and that, “I didn’t orchestrate this; you did, by your actions and by your plea of guilty.”
                Progressives have a remarkable propensity to turn nearly everyone into victims, especially criminals. Be they illegal aliens, violent inner-city gang members, convicted murderers, or Female Democratic presidential candidates who are staggeringly careless with sensitive security information. Straight, white, males are the exception to this rule, so the diabolical Dr. might just get what’s coming to him. I hope so.
                Does history provide us with any analogous instances of those who engaged in illegal and egregious behavior petitioning the court to spare them from stress?
Can anyone imagine Benedict Arnold saying, “I know what I did was wrong, but please don’t make me feel bad about it, okay?”
                Would Al Capone have said, “I don’t believe I should be subjected to any testimony against myself. I just don’t think I’m strong enough to handle the stress. I mean, have a heart, would ya’?”

Friday, January 19, 2018

Minnesota Vikings Name, Logo Promoting White Supremacy?

                A writer for recently speculated that the Minnesota Vikings National Football League team would come under fire for its “Vikings” team name during the lead-up to the Super Bowl…should the squad make it to the Big Game. If you ponder that, in light of everything else that’s happened on the political-correctness front lately, it doesn’t seem far-fetched. He listed three primary reasons for his belief:
                One, Minnesota has a relatively low percentage of blacks among its population. (Although the African-American population is growing quickly, fueled by Somali immigrants attracted by the state’s generous welfare benefits). Two, no members of the team have taken a knee during the National Anthem. (Translation: The team’s players aren’t sufficiently, ostentatiously behind the Black Lives Matter Movement). And three, the Vikings logo is the “only major-league sports logo that features an explicitly Caucasian image.” Therefore, he asserts, progressives will start smelling racism. He opines: “Stand by for lots of stories on how few Somalis in Minnesota can afford tickets, and how overwhelmingly Caucasian are the crowds that attend games.”
                The original Vikings were not only apparently un-oppressed themselves, they were the oppressors in many instances. Raiding and plundering, sacking and looting. So we’ve been told, anyway. (Some historians even believe they pillaged as far south as modern-day Algeria, Morocco and Tunisia).
                Moreover, the team hails from “The Great White North,” where it’s white with snow much of the year. In fact, sometimes it snows so hard, there are “white outs.” There are many in the state who hold white collar jobs, though it has its fair share of white trash, too. The Twin Cities even have a suburb named “White Bear Lake!” And isn’t the word “north” itself really just a euphemism for white? White, white, white, white, white…white! Get the picture?
                If Denver University is getting pressured to drop its “Pioneers” nickname (see my post of January 10, “Pioneers No More?”), surely “Vikings” should be discarded. That moniker is made even more offensive in that is has “kings” in it. A male sovereign. Are you kidding me? Is this the 1600s? And the logo…horns? Really? Aggressive males with horns? Horny males? Every self-respecting leftist should feel like a victim of sexual harassment just by glimpsing the team’s helmets or logo. #MeToo!
                But, before we fall into despair, just think of what could be. The team could be shamed into doing the right thing, and actually become a beacon of hope and inclusion, a positive force for tolerance and good. It could renounce masculinity and violence, competitiveness and judgement. How, you ask? The team could keep the purple color scheme and simply replace the horns on its player’s helmets with transgender symbols…and change its name to the Minnesota Pride. How awesome would that be?! And what a statement for equality! Purple Pride, baby! Gay Pride! Transgender Pride! Lesbian Pride! Bisexual Pride! Polyamorous Pride! Two-spirited Pride! Everyone Who Has Ever Felt Marginalized By The White, Straight, Christian Male Hierarchy Pride!
                Alternately, the organization could be rebranded as the “Bi-Queens,” and the formerly iconic- but hurtful- mascot “Ragnar” could be supplanted by a drag queen named, say, Ru Saint Paul.


Thursday, January 18, 2018

Planned Infanticide

                According to its own most recent annual report, Planned Parenthood performed about 82 abortions for every single adoption referral it made in 2016. The report states that the organization performed 321,384 abortion procedures in 2016, as opposed to issuing 3,889 adoption referrals in that same year. Planned Parenthood should put up McDonald’s-like signs outside its clinics proudly proclaiming: “Millions and Millions Served (Killed).”    
                The institution listed its total revenue as $1,459,600,000, an increase of nearly 8% over 2015. Government Health Services Reimbursements and Grants accounted for $543.7 million of that figure, or 37% of its total revenue. Yet, the report lamented: “We know there are more fights ahead. We know that patients in states with hostile political climates will continue to face higher, harder barriers to getting care. Congress and this administration will try again to ‘defund’ Planned Parenthood and undermine our ability to serve patients whenever they can. But as we enter our 101st year, we are stronger and bolder than ever before.”
                82 abortions for every adoption referral? “Planned Parenthood” is the mother of all misnomers.
It is akin to the American Cancer Society giving out 82 packs of cigarettes for every cancer screen they perform. 
It is vile and repugnant. It is not only an affront to human decency, it literally diminishes humanity itself. This haughty holocaust, this generic genocide must cease.
We are- rightly- upset that some of our ancestors enslaved others for their own convenience, though this was tragically a common practice around the world at the time. We should be at least as upset that, in our “enlightened” age, many of our fellow citizens choose to kill innocent babies for their own convenience.

It is time to do the right thing…on a vast scale…and for our descendants. So there are some.

It is time to stop forcing taxpayers to fund infanticide. 

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

U.S. Government Funds Study Of Bulgarian Bells

                Don’t think there’s any room to cut the federal government’s budget? Think things are too tight as it is? Proud that your hard-earned tax dollars are going to fund so many truly vital programs? Believe conservative Republicans are just hard-hearted skin-flints?
                Last month alone, the National Endowment for the Humanities (NEH) awarded $12.8 million for some 253 projects as part of its latest funding cycle, according to the Washington Free Beacon. That’s exciting! To what end were these critical research grants awarded? (By God, let’s hope we don’t have a government shutdown, or programs such as the following may be in danger of being somewhat “underfunded”)!

                Here are a few of the indispensable projects that are receiving public money:

·         A study researching “poor posture.” (Not good for you. Stand upright. That’ll be 100-grand ).
·         The creation of an “immersive” video game about alchemy. (What?)
·         A study of “propaganda,” based on the premise that Fox News can brainwash liberals. (They are already brainwashed, that’s why they are liberals. Ever tried to watch MSNBC?).
·         Creation of a virtual exhibition of over 90 pieces of New Deal era art, all from the town of Gallup, New Mexico. (I don’t recall that this was a particularly rich period in art history. Maybe Gallup was an exception).
·         A book-length study chronicling the history of California wine-making, and its intersection with labor relations. (“The Grapes of Wrath?”).
·         A study of bells…in Bulgaria. (If this is too broad a topic, perhaps it could cover just the bells of Sofia, Bulgaria).
·         A study exploring “18th century sexuality.” (There was no internet, television, or phone service. No radio. No cars. No light bulbs or electricity. No wonder why they had so many kids).

Maybe they could combine a few of these crucial projects, thereby increasing efficiency and cutting costs, while making them significantly more interesting. If, for example, there was a virtual exhibition of New Deal era art exploring 18th century sexuality and its intersection with wine-making, I’d be there with my Bulgarian bells on.  
In all seriousness, it is high time the NEH and the NEA (National Endowment for the Arts) were tossed on the ash-heap of history. Taxpayers must demand accountability, or the government will run even further amok.
And then it will fund a virtual exhibition of it doing so…and a book-length study of its fiscal debauchery.


Tuesday, January 16, 2018

California Scheming

                 According to the U.S. Census Bureau’s Supplemental Poverty Measure, California has the highest poverty rate of any state in the union. That’s right…California. The Supplemental Poverty Measure factors in the cost of housing, food, utilities, and clothing, and includes non-cash government assistance as income. By this measure nearly one out of every five of its citizens is poor. This despite the fact that the state- and its local governments- have thrown a staggering amount of money at the problem, spending nearly a trillion dollars on various public welfare programs from 1992 through 2015 alone. Or maybe it’s because of that fact.
                California is the home of almost one in three of the country’s welfare recipients, despite having only 12% of its population. The progressives who have a virtual stranglehold on every aspect of the formerly Golden State’s government realize that continually increasing welfare spending attracts more recipients on whom this welfare money can be spent, thereby continuing to expand the numbers of likely Democrat voters. It’s almost too easy! 55% of the state’s immigrants receive means-tested benefits, compared to “only” 30% of native Californians.
                Another factor contributing to the state’s stupefying number of welfare recipients is the sheer quantity of its bureaucrats. California had an astounding 883,000 full-time-equivalent state and local employees as of 2014, many of whom work in social services. Many of whom could lose their cushy little jobs if a significant number of people were able to be taken off the welfare rolls.
                Extremely restrictive land-use ordinances and environmental regulations dramatically drive up the cost of housing and energy costs, contributing to the plight of non-wealthy Californians. The state sports the nation’s most expensive real-estate market. In 2015, not far from half of all households spent 30% or more of their total income on housing. And that figure appears to be getting worse, due to leftist lunacy.
                Progressives are pleased as their policies are working exactly as intended. Hollywood types and those in Silicon Valley are doing great. Their policies have a vastly disproportionate- and negative- impact on the poor and middle class. “But hey, they can go on welfare or other government assistance programs! See how much we care?” they say. (“Not to mention it’s a ‘win-win’ since it guarantees our job security, power and importance. Was that out loud? I hope not.”).
                California is a one-party state, akin to the old U.S.S.R., explicitly designed to enrich those in power while eviscerating the middle-class and perpetuating a growing dependent class. Yet all-the-while Hollywood portrays Republicans as friends of the rich and enemies of the common man.

                California’s official state motto is “Eureka,” meaning “I have found it!” Is it any wonder that more and more of its residents have lost their affinity for the state and are proclaiming, “Screw it! I have had it!” before departing the erstwhile “Land of Milk and Honey?”  

Monday, January 15, 2018

Democrats To Protest Trump's State Of The Union Speech

            Maxine Waters is among a number of Democrats refusing to attend the upcoming State of the Union Address, to be given by President Trump on Tuesday, January 30th. Nancy Pelosi, if she can remember, is among numerous Democratic women who have pledged to wear black in support of the #MeToo movement while attending the annual presidential speech. Talk about putting one’s self above one’s country!
These behaviors would have been unthinkable- or at least considered to be stunningly disrespectful and offensive- in the not-too-distant past. They are, however, now seen as almost de rigueur amongst the progressive elite.
In fact, leftist leaders have come so unglued that I wouldn’t be surprised if they showed up wearing “Pussy Hats” and turned their backs to the president while he was speaking. Serial mooning is not out of the question.
Once a solemn occasion witnessed by an august body, the State of the Union address is now being turned into just another opportunity for politically-correct crackpots drunk on their own power to protest anything with which they disagree. Dignity and decorum are out. Posturing and protest are in.
So, don’t be taken aback if Democrats clap and stomp, leave their cell phones on, belch out “black lives matter” in unison while raising their fists, or put their hands in their collective armpits to make farting noises during key parts of Trump’s report. Don’t be flabbergasted if they attempt to “Occupy the House (of Representatives).”
Hell, I wouldn’t be astonished if they chanted “Hail Satan” throughout the night, in solidarity with their pro-choice base.*
The only thing that would leave me gob-smacked is if those on the left side of the chamber acted with class, and the media characterized the speech accurately.

                *Pro-choice activists famously chanted “Hail Satan” to drown out pro-life activists singing “Amazing Grace” during a rally at the Texas capital in 2013.

Sunday, January 14, 2018

Switzerland Bans Boiling Live Lobsters

                The government of Switzerland has made it illegal to put live lobsters into boiling water when preparing to eat them, according to The Guardian. The tasty crustaceans will now have to be “stunned” before being boiled. The government order, which takes effect on March 1st, reads: “The practice of plunging live lobsters into boiling water, which is common in restaurants, is no longer permitted. Lobsters will now have to be stunned before they are put to death.”
                “Put to death?” Must we now also give them a last meal and cigarette, and blindfold them before dropping them into the pot? When first taking them out of the seine nets, must we read them their Miranda rights?
                The Swiss Federation’s ruling body helpfully explained that the creatures can be stunned via electrically shocking them, and added that live lobsters must now also be transported in their natural habitat and not on ice or in icy water.
   Their natural habitat is icy water.
   According to the Lobster Institute, a research and educational organization, lobsters have a primitive nervous system, akin to an insect, such as a grasshopper: “Neither insects nor lobsters have brains,” the institute claims. “For an organism to perceive pain it must have a complex nervous system. Neurophysiologists tell us that lobsters, like insects, do not process pain.”
 What beings indisputably have complex nervous systems, yet are still being slaughtered?
 Maybe someday soon the pro-choice crowd will call for babies to be “stunned” before being dismembered and having their brains vacuumed out.   

Saturday, January 13, 2018

Hawaiian Topic: Missile Alert

                Hawaiians suffered a collective panic attack early Saturday morning, January 13th, when the state’s Civil Defense erroneously sent out a phone alert warning of a “BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.” Residents received the alert at 8:07 a.m. local time, and a similar message appeared on local television networks.
                The alert was apparently caused by a Civil Defense employee who accidentally pushed the wrong buttons during a staff shift-change, according to Hawaii News Now and online reports. The timing of the error couldn’t have been much worse, given the recent threats from North Korea and Kim Jong-Un, and the fact that Hawaii now appears to fall well within range of the Hermit Kingdom’s ballistic missiles. After receiving the alert, residents understandably started calling 911, asking where they should go. Roughly 12 minutes later, the Aloha State’s Emergency Management Agency tweeted that it was a false alarm, and some local politicians confirmed the mistake, as well. However, it took 37 minutes for Civil Defense to send out another phone alert acknowledging the error.
                Meanwhile, many residents were in a state of panicked chaos, expecting the worst for 37 agonizing minutes. When informed of the miscue, The Paradise of the Pacific’s lawmakers were as angry as its citizens, one slamming the mistake as “inexcusable,” adding, “the whole state was terrified,” according to London’s Daily Mail.
When the false alarm alert finally arrived on citizen’s phones, that message read: “There is no missile threat or danger to the State of Hawaii. Repeat. False Alarm.”


Sh*thole Countries

                “Sh*thole countries?” How could he? “As*hole president!”

                I’ve read stories in major American newspapers aghast that this phrase could have been uttered, and asserting that nations around the globe are still recoiling in horror at the insensitive, racist comments. That’s Bullsh*t. All bullsh*t. Much ado about nothing.
                President Trump did not mean to disparage the people of the nations he derided, and it was certainly not a racist comment. He was simply, again, stating a truth. Many of these nations are dysfunctional. Their societies are dysfunctional. They are dysfunctional nations. Not because of their citizens, but because of their governments, often headed by dictators and/or incompetent thugs. Venezuela is a sh*thole nation now, due to the communist governments it has suffered for so many years. Many of its citizens are good people, and that is the tragedy. Their government has ruined their homeland.
                I guarantee you President Obama used that exact term, or one very similar, in private talks. He just wasn’t tattled on, or if he was, the media would’ve covered for him, not exploded in an orgiastic frenzy of vitriol. In fact, then Vice-President Joe Biden gleefully exclaimed, "This is a big f*cking deal!" into President Obama's ear at the healthcare reform signing ceremony back in 2010. Microphones clearly picked his voice up. The result? The media thought it was cute. Authentic. The phrase was actually put on tee-shirts to be sold. It even made Time magazine's list of its 10 favorite Joe Biden moments! But they aren't Republicans. They are Democrats. And they aren't Trump. I’m not sure LBJ ever went five minutes in conversation without going on an expletive-laden diatribe against some person, people or nation. But he was a Democrat. And he wasn’t Trump. 
                CNN was so offended by the term sh*thole, it used it no less than 36 times…on Thursday, January 11th alone, after the “story” first broke. Don’t mind the young ‘uns in the room! Hypocrites.
                Even Martin Luther King’s niece flatly stated that Trump wasn’t racist. Rather, the problem is we have become too soft, too nice for our own good. Immigration around most of the world has traditionally been merit-based. We simply can’t go on allowing unchecked immigration from nations that disdain us, harbor terrorists, demean our founding principles or eschew our freedoms and values. We see the results of unchecked non-merit-based immigration in Sweden’s rising crime rate, in German cities where women aren’t comfortable going out alone at night, in the streets of Paris, in London’s tube…and elsewhere. We see it too, and the aftermath of progressive policies in general, in American cities such as Baltimore, Chicago, Washington, D.C., and even Dearborn, Michigan.
                In America, the Melting Pot was the key to our success. No other country in the world has been more diverse, and as successful. But, ironically, as recent immigrants have been less likely to wish to assimilate, we’ve come to believe that we shouldn’t want them to, and have no right to make them do so. Diversity around the planet has always been problematic, the most peaceful societies typically quite homogenous. With the West’s increasing diversity of race, ethnicity…and everything else…it has ironically- and tragically- lost diversity of thought. If one believes immigration should be legal, controlled, and merit-based, one is considered by the media, academia, and wealthy progressives snugly ensconced in their estates, to be a cad…a cold, selfish, racist, xenophobe.
                Let’s be honest. Inner-city Baltimore is already a sh*thole. That’s not racist. That’s the truth.

                If Western countries don’t soon wake up, they will eventually become sh*thole nations themselves. They just won’t be able to admit it.


Friday, January 12, 2018

Money For Nothing (It's A Spending Spree)

                The Founders knew that if the federal government wasn’t tightly and explicitly constrained, it would become an all-encompassing behemoth. Students of history, they knew a government big enough to give you everything you want is one big enough to take away everything you have. That is why, other than for a brief period to finance the Civil War, the United States didn’t have an income tax, in the modern sense of the term, until the Sixteenth Amendment was ratified in 1913, 137 years after the nation was founded. How did the U.S. manage to grow so fast, economically and territorially, in those early years? How did it win wars (other than the Civil War) and build a vast industrial infrastructure? How were its budding entrepreneurs able to found companies and develop so many inventions that changed the world for the better? And all of this without incurring massive debt?
                Fast forward to the Obama Era, a century or so after the Sixteenth Amendment was ratified. Can we rest assured that Uncle Sam is still a careful steward of each and every one of our tax dollars? Apparently not. We are now approaching $20 trillion in debt. That means, in a sense, we have $20 trillion dollars less than no dollars. So, we rely on treasury trickery and budgetary chicanery to obfuscate the looming monetary crisis ahead. To be fair, neither Democrats nor Republicans appear to give a rat’s ass about this, or appear to be able to look a single constituent in the eye and say, “Enough is enough. At times you may have to do something to better your o life.”
                How crazy have things gotten? In 2014, The Ohio State University used a $387,000 National Institute of Health grant to study the benefits of giving rabbits Swedish massages. This money originated in taxpayers wallets. Is it absolutely crucial to the future of our Republic that we rub rabbits to see what happens? I assume the originators of the study thought there could be some benefit to humans from this experiment. If this was indeed the case, perhaps the study could’ve used Playboy Bunnies instead of trying to extrapolate from actual rodents. It may have been more enjoyable for both parties.
                Meanwhile, at the University of California-Santa Cruz, a professor was awarded an $856,000 taxpayer-funded research grant from the National Science Foundation for a study that put mountain lions on treadmills, to gauge their cardio-vascular capacity. My first thought was, “They’re lions. They roam the mountains. They’re probably in pretty good shape!”
                Apparently, I was wrong.
                The study concluded that “mountain lions do not have the aerobic capacity for sustained, high-energy activity. They are power animals. They have a slow routine walking speed and use a burst of speed and the force of the pounce to knock down or overpower their prey.”             
                Astounding! Who knew? Now we need a study to determine how boa-constrictors kill other animals. Another 856 large should generate this result: “They’re not fast, but they can really put the squeeze on their prey.” 
                The University of Rochester spent no less than $171,361 to create a computer game…to lure monkeys into playing computer games and gambling, in order to explore their addictive and chance-taking tendencies. The researchers were able to conclude that the chimps not only love to gamble and play video games, but share humans’ belief in winning and losing streaks. Really? 171-grand to get monkeys addicted to gambling? What’s next, spending a quarter of a million dollars to turn horses into alcoholics? Half a million to get elephants addicted to porn?
                In 2016, the National Science Foundation spent $560,000 to study fish crawling on a treadmill. (Is there any living creature they won’t put on a treadmill? Maybe they should put the bleeping budget on a treadmill and see if that would slim it down).
                That same year, the National Institute of Health coughed up $817,000 to study monkey saliva, while the Institute of Museum and Library Services (IMLS?) “invested” $150,000 in a gingerbread house that can “withstand the force of an earthquake.” (How about we invest money to make actual houses able to withstand the force of an earthquake?” Just sayin’). The last year of the Obama administration also saw our old friends at the National Science Foundation use three separate grants, totaling $450,000, to determine whether or not dinosaurs could sing or make bird-like sounds. Their conclusion? They could not. (Though they did leave open the possibility that they could make mumbling noises)!
                And, the Department of Commerce granted $1.7 million towards the construction of the National Comedy Center in Jamestown, New York. This edifice was to recreate classic comedy routines using holographic technology. (I cherish humor and find many things funny, but not this. This is no laughing matter).
                If we the people can’t even find the will to challenge expenditures such as rabbit massages, it will obviously be impossible to address massive entitlement spending programs like social security, Medicare and Medicaid.
                In a relatively few short years, entitlement spending- and interest on the national debt- will consume all federal tax revenues.
                Come to think of it, I need that National Comedy Center.
                (The figures above come from the “Wastebook,” an annual publication put out by conservative Congressmen. The 2017 report found more than $5 billion of what it termed truly “outrageous” spending by the federal government in 2016 alone).

Thursday, January 11, 2018

The State Of The Union: Back In Black

             Some Democratic women in Congress are planning to wear all black to President Trump’s first State of the Union address on January 30th. These liberal ladies aren’t donning black in celebration of a surging stock market or more profitable homes and businesses. They are copying their friends and benefactors in Hollywood, many of whom attended the Golden Globes clad in ebony to protest sexual harassment and misconduct as part of the “#MeToo” and “#TimesUp” movements.
 Rep. Jackie Speier, D-Calif., recently told NBC News that there is tremendous support for the symbolic protest among the Democratic Women’s Working Group. She added, “This is a culture change that is sweeping the country, and Congress is embracing it.” Members of the DWWG are encouraging women- and men- of both parties to join them in the solemn protest.
Real harassment and misconduct is abhorrent. Showing solidarity with victims of true sexual abuse is admirable. But why weren’t female Democrats protesting President Clinton, for God’s sake? Why didn’t they attend Bubba’s marathon State of the Union speeches clad in stained black (or blue) dresses? They should have worn full black veils, as well, and possibly band-aids on their lips, in light of the serial philanderer’s actions. Chastity belts should’ve been de rigueur. But, no. When women weren’t talking about “the power crackling from his jeans” they were giving him a pass on the passes he was making at them. If they wore anything black, it would’ve been their panties. And why are these righteous representatives totally unconcerned about the treatment of women by Muslim men around the world?
That said, given the moral and behavioral deterioration of the Democratic Party in recent years, I should probably be happy the DWWG didn’t decide to protest by dropping trou and mooning the president during his speech.

The state of the union? Economically, it is strong. Morally, not so much.

And the ladies in black?

The ladies doth protest too much, methinks.

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Pioneers No More?

             Most of us are familiar with the controversy surrounding team names such as the Washington Redskins and Cleveland Indians. Many Americans know that the University of North Dakota officially dropped “the fighting Sioux” as its sports team’s moniker and banished their iconic logo. But, how many folks are aware of the brouhaha brewing at the University of Denver?
 What is the issue, you ask? It’s twofold. One, the school’s “Pioneers” nickname, and, two, Daniel Boone masks. Seriously. Native American students at the university claim the nickname represents “genocide and oppression.” Last fall, the Native American Student Alliance embarked on a campaign to force the school to rid itself of the allegedly offensive appellation. The group’s co-president told the school’s newspaper, The Clarion, that the term is “associated with westward expansion, genocide, oppression, and assimilation of Native American students.” She added: “Pioneer does not represent the spirit of the students on this campus.”
Daniel Boone served as the institution’s unofficial mascot for many years- and for obvious reasons. He was a legendary pioneer who discovered the “Cumberland Gap” allowing much quicker, easier, and safer passage through the Appalachians to The West. Though students and alumni overwhelmingly wanted to keep Boone in that role, the school retired him in 2013, deeming him too much of a “polarizing figure.” Still, some students- and alumni- have continued to recognize Boone as their mascot, prompting the university to reverse an earlier decision allowing students to appear as the famous character. Starting January 1st, the school launched a new policy forbidding the use of masks on university property, “for the safety of all DU community members and guests,” essentially putting in place a de facto ban on the intrepid explorer. The ban offers exceptions for “covering any part of the face for religious reasons; wearing protective equipment while engaged in a sport or responding to an emergency or safety situation; engaging in a theatrical production or similar University sanctioned event; or wearing a mask for protection from weather or medical reasons.”
Interesting that the first exception is for “religious reasons.” What religion would that accommodate? Maybe it’s for “safety” reasons. And, here’s a theoretical question: could students participating in a “theatrical production” about the Old West or American explorers wear a Daniel Boone mask? The original version of the mask policy allowed for additional exceptions for those requesting them from the Office of Campus Life and Inclusive Excellence. Yet, when The Campus Fix asked a university spokesman whether the new policy would allow students to request an exception to wear a Boone mask, it was told: “While many policies allow for review of exceptions, a policy to protect the safety of community members and guests shall have, appropriately, no exceptions.” Except, of course, to allow for hijabs.
The university adopted the nickname “Pioneers” in 1925, and, after repeatedly changing mascots, settled on a Walt Disney designed mascot called “Boone,” who was based on the Disney character “Pioneer,” and was officially adopted by the school in 1968. Forty-five years later, DU officials decided that no mascot was better than one representing America’s frontier heritage.
Synonyms for “pioneer” include: adventurer, pathfinder, searcher, seeker, and traveler. Sometimes, however, antonyms of a word or concept can be an even better indicator of what that word or concept means or represents. Antonyms of pioneer include: secondary, following, last, late, and later.
Boone’s daring exploits and frontier spirit made him one of his country’s earliest folk heroes. In today’s America, it makes him a pariah. If we in the United States- and The West in general- don’t search for a new path soon, it will be too late.

 And, the only thing we’ll have left to discover…is that we inexplicably squandered a peerless heritage.

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Ohio Turkeys Preventing Mail Delivery

                It’s time to talk turkey. At least it is in Rocky River, Ohio, a suburb of Cleveland hard by the shores of Lake Erie, where flocks of combative turkeys are preventing mail carriers from delivering mail to a portion of the city. The town’s mayor, Pam Bobst, said the Rocky River branch of the United States Postal Service (USPS) officially notified the city that the turkeys were creating unsafe working conditions for carriers in these areas.
                As a result, dozens of homes have been without mail delivery service for three weeks or more. Carriers have been attempting to deliver the mail, but are being routinely accosted by the pugnacious birds. A city ordinance prevents the eradication of the turkeys, so a letter was recently sent out asking residents to immediately stop putting out bird food of any kind. According to Mayor Bobst, “There’s a lot of bird feeders over there, so there’s a food source in that area. It is an issue, so we’ve asked residents to cease putting out bird seed and bird food so we can see if they will go down to the Metroparks.”
                David Van Allen, regional spokesman for the USPS, noted that his plucky mail carriers are beginning to deliver in the evening, apparently in the hopes that the birds will have roosted by then. But, just in case, “The carriers are carrying an air horn to see if that will scare off the turkeys, if that will discourage them. We’re attempting to deliver every day and we will continue to do that,” he said. Van Allen stated that some carriers have been pecked, but none have been hurt thus far. He added, “We’re sorry for any inconvenience to people.”
                Apparently, his carriers, be they male or female, are literally hen-pecked. What to make of this fowl play? And what happened to “Neither rain nor sleet…?”
                The postal service mission statement is found in Section 101(a) of Title 39 of the U.S. Code, a.k.a. the Postal Reorganization Act: “The Postal Service shall have as its basic function the obligation to provide postal services to bind the Nation together through the personal, educational, literary, and business correspondence of the people. It shall provide prompt, reliable, and efficient services to patrons in all areas and shall render postal services to all communities.” Unless they are inundated by obnoxious turkeys.
                The postal service’s long-time- if unofficial- motto has been, “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.”

                Turkeys, however, are another story.