In the current issue of Marvel’s (fundamentally
changed) Captain America, the iconic superhero takes on a group of right-wing
conservatives trying to stop illegal immigrants from crossing the border.
Yes,
in “Captain America: Sam Wilson #1,” the superhero
also known as, oddly enough, Sam Wilson, heads to the border
to take on an “evil” militia group known as the “Sons of the Serpent.” Get it?
The group is evilly patrolling the area between Mexico and Arizona, according
to a video summary of the issue created by the Maciver Institute.
“Attention
all trespassers! I am the Supreme Serpent!” the group’s leader is depicted
as shouting during the tale. “By
invading this sovereign land, you defy the laws of God, nature and the United
States Constitution! Therefore, I hereby apprehend you by the power vested in
me by the aforementioned God, nature, et cetera, et cetera.” Apparently the
Constitution is the” et cetera, et cetera.” Nothing demeaning there. God and
nature (natural law) were foremost on the Founders minds and
vital to the creation of the Constitution
that established the freest, most humane and prosperous nation in the
history of the world.
But
back to our story: eventually, Captain America swoops in and prevents the Sons
of the Serpent from beating up the poor,
downtrodden, angelic aliens who are heroically trying to break the law by
entering the country illegally. The end.
Nice
timing, Marvel, releasing this issue right before the Paris attacks and
subsequent European border closures, “et cetera, et cetera!” Even a comic book couldn’t appear any dumber
and less mature. What’s next for Captain America, Marvel? College campuses
across the land await with baited breath!
Let
me take a guess at a few of the evils
our politically-correct Crusader will deal with in upcoming issues:
*”CA:
Sam Wilson #2”- The Daunting Do-Gooder bravely protects Planned Parenthood
clinics from those sporting undercover cameras, smart phones and other devices
that can record reality.
*”CA:
Sam Wilson #3”- In this double issue,
Our Hero first single-handedly demolishes the dental offices of Walter Palmer
before heading to Foxboro, Massachusetts to kick the crap out of Tom Brady!
*”CA:
Sam Wilson #4”- The Amazing One zips around the Heartland (fly-over country),
attempting to keep oil trains from delivering their liquid planet-killer.
*”CA:
Samantha Wilson #5”- Our now mysteriously-gendered superhero(ine?) travels
around the nation enforcing transgender bathroom rights, all the while singing,
“Tinkle, tinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are?!”
No comments:
Post a Comment