Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Norwegian Woman Claims To Be Cat

As actual human behavior becomes more and more outlandish and preposterous, parody becomes harder and harder to write- and recognize. I recently wrote- and posted- a piece* about a San Francisco school district taking bold steps to accommodate the “trans-specied” in their student body, thinking it to be a parody of political-correctness run amok. And now this.
A 20-year-old Norwegian woman called Nano claims to be a cat. She said she first realized she was a feline when she was 16 years old and has exhibited cat-like mannerisms ever since..
She is open about her life as a puss and says she has a superior sense of hearing and sight, which allows her to hunt mice in the dark. She made this revelation in a You-Tube video which has now been viewed well over 100,000 times. She claims to possess many other feline traits such as a hatred of water (I don’t even want to know how she bathes herself) and the ability to communicate by meowing. She wears fake ears and an artificial tail.
                In the video, Nano explains that doctors and psychologists found out that “Under my birth there was a genetic defect.” Quite. The video’s presenter walks with her through Oslo’s central station and asks Nano what she can hear and see that a normal person might not. “Suitcases rolling on the ground. Keys clinking in pockets. People with ice under their shoes,” she answers.
                Then, suddenly, she hisses and takes a step back. “There is a dog over there,” she explains. “Sometime I hiss when meeting dogs in the street. It’s because of their behavior and my instinct automatically reacts by hissing.”
                She wears a pair of fluffy pink paws with which to groom herself and relates that she feels particularly like doing so when she is in contact with water.
A)     I’m not going there.
B)      I thought she hated water.

When asked if she was born as the wrong species, she responded: “Yes, born in the wrong species.” The cat lady usually crawls around on her hands and knees. She paws at windows when she wants to go outside. She claims that, despite her size, she can sleep in the sink and on windowsills.
“It’s also obvious that I’m a cat when I start purring and meowing,” she explains helpfully. “I can see better in the dark than in daylight. That’s no problem. I have been running a lot after animals that can be seen in the shadows.” She claims to have a friend named Sven, who has a cat personality. They meow at each other in the park. “He has something called ‘personalities’ and one of them is a cat,” she relates. The presenter then poses this question: “So you are born as a cat, but he has become one?” Nano replies, “He is human but has someone in his head that is a cat, and I am born as a cat.”
She says her life as a cat is “exhausting,” but she does not want to live as a human.
“My psychologist told me I can grow out of it, but I doubt it. I think I will be a cat all my life.”
                She is glad to be “out”… that she’s let the cat out of the bag.

*”San Francisco School System To Validate The Trans-Specied”  (1/16/16)

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