According to Larry Schweikart (in his 2011 book “What Would
The Founders Say”), under a U.S. law, the “crime” of “annoying” a kangaroo rat
could result in a fine of $100,000 and a year in jail, and these penalties
could be levied for the simple act of shining a flashlight on one of these
springy rodents.
On the
other hand, aborting your baby is
legal, and though we partially fund
this infanticide through cash confiscated from taxpayers, Girl Scout cookie
purchases, and via assorted other avenues, Planned Parenthood and abortion
rights agitators are always clamoring for more money. I believe that we should
augment these already substantial death donations by taking the money accrued
from fines paid by the despicable kangaroo rat molesters and giving it to
Planned Parenthood, NARAL, and the like.
If we
were to strictly enforce existing kangaroo rat-annoyance laws,
this would create a win-win scenario, as doing so would help keep the native
human population in check, while making sure the abhorrent practice of
rat-annoying is properly punished.
Genius!
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