North Korea Threatens To Attack The United States

                 North Korea has threatened to attack “mainland America” if the United States carries out a planned military exercise with South Korea next month. In response to the Hermit Kingdom’s nuclear tests earlier in the year, a larger than usual annual military drill has been planned, with the U.S. contributing roughly 15,000 troops and South Korea 290,000. The Key Resolve and Foal Eagle exercises reportedly will include a staged “pre-emptive strike” against the North, information that caused the Cherubic One to foam at the mouth.

                Pyongyang released a statement threatening to use all its might to hit back if there is even a “slight sign” of such exercises taking place, claiming their first target would be South Korea’s presidential Blue House, with U.S. military bases in Asia and America constituting secondary targets.

                The rogue nation routinely threatens its Southern neighbor- and America- as their annual preparedness drill approaches, but this year has upped the ante by vowing to attack the American Heartland. I must admit, it would be interesting to see how “the Donald” would respond to these types of threats were he president.

                As of this writing, John Kerry hasn’t yet formally issued an American apology to the North for offending its “Dear Leader.”