I just finished watching a short video, done by Dan Joseph
of the Media Research Center (MRC TV) website. He was on campus attempting to
get college students to sign a petition urging radio stations to stop playing
the song “White Christmas.” It was humorous in a way, though unimaginably sad
as well. He was telling students that the song infers that white is good and
other colors are bad, it’s cultural and color hegemony, etc. At one point he
also intoned that “it doesn’t mention anything about climate change, either.”
Eighteen
students signed the petition in one hour.
Well,
as you can imagine, this bit of enlightenment activated some latent guilt
inside of me. Suddenly, the light came on (not a white light!). I decided to add to his efforts at banning blatantly
offensive Christmas songs. First, I needed to do some research, as I couldn’t
remember many of the lyrics of even the more popular tunes. What I found
shocked and appalled me. Let’s take a closer look:
*“It’s
Beginning To Look A lot Like Christmas”- Meaning white, right?
*”Let
It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow”- Very insistent that everything turn white.
*”A
Marshmallow World”- Yet again with
the white theme!
*”Frosty
The Snowman”- Meaning the snow white
man, correct? And why man? Why not
woman, or even better, gender neutral or non-conforming?
*”The
Christmas Song”- Chestnuts roasting on an open
fire? Is that not dangerous? And folks dressed up like ‘Eskimos?’ That is
degrading and/or appropriative!
*”Deck
The Halls”- Don we now our gay apparel? What about lesbian apparel, or bi…or
transgender?
*”Rudolph The Red Nosed
Reindeer”- All of the other reindeer
used to laugh and call him names?
They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games? OMG! I need a safe
space and a warm cookie. Somebody get me a ‘Cecil’ plush toy! Harassment of one
that’s “different,” and non-inclusiveness on a grand scale!
*”A
Holly Jolly Christmas”- Somebody waits for you, kiss her once for me? Did she
sign a form explicitly giving consent
prior to the attempt to kiss “her?”
*”There’s
No Place Like Home For The Holidays”- How do you think this makes the homeless feel? Or did you think at all?
*”It’s
The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year”- Of course it is- for you- you culturally dominant SOB. What about TET or Ramadan?
*”O
Tannenbaum”- Sure, an ode to the Aryan race and would-be fascists around the
globe.
*”Up On
The Housetop”- What, like Santa has to be a man because we all know only a big, strong male is capable of getting on the roof with bags of
toys and then sliding down a chimney? Good old St. Nick? How about good old
St. Chick? And give little Nell a doll? Really? Why not a truck or something
gender-neutral?
*”The
12 Days Of Christmas”- Nine ladies dancing? Of course, what else are they
capable of doing? Probably really meant lap-dancing
to the ancient white males who wrote this tripe. Eight maids a milking? There’s
the 1% forcing the lower classes to do the grunt work again. Sexist as well.
Six geese a laying? They’ve gotta do the wealthy’s dirty work, too? Dairy is
theft, you know! And bad for you. Three French hens? Of course, say,
Palestinian hens aren’t good enough, are they? WTF?
*”Hark,
The Herald Angels Sing”- What about the deaf or mute? Think maybe this song makes them feel disrespected?
*”I Saw
Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”- Why not daddy
kissing Santa Claus? Or both daddy
and mommy kissing Santa Claus? This song is such 1950’s ‘Father Knows Best’-ish
traditional Christian crap.
I’ve
come to realize the whole genre is offensive and hurtful. And, we need to take
Christ out of Christmas, once and for all.
And we
are well on our way to doing that, Allahu Akbar.
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