I just finished watching a short video, done by Dan Joseph of the Media Research Center (MRC TV) website. He was on campus attempting to get college students to sign a petition urging radio stations to stop playing the song “White Christmas.” It was humorous in a way, though unimaginably sad as well. He was telling students that the song infers that white is good and other colors are bad, it’s cultural and color hegemony, etc. At one point he also intoned that “it doesn’t mention anything about climate change, either.”
Eighteen students signed the petition in one hour.
Well, as you can imagine, this bit of enlightenment activated some latent guilt inside of me. Suddenly, the light came on (not a white light!). I decided to add to his efforts at banning blatantly offensive Christmas songs. First, I needed to do some research, as I couldn’t remember many of the lyrics of even the more popular tunes. What I found shocked and appalled me. Let’s take a closer look:
*“It’s Beginning To Look A lot Like Christmas”- Meaning white, right?
*”Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow”- Very insistent that everything turn white.
*”A Marshmallow World”- Yet again with the white theme!
*”Frosty The Snowman”- Meaning the snow white man, correct? And why man? Why not woman, or even better, gender neutral or non-conforming?
*”The Christmas Song”- Chestnuts roasting on an open fire? Is that not dangerous? And folks dressed up like ‘Eskimos?’ That is degrading and/or appropriative!
*”Deck The Halls”- Don we now our gay apparel? What about lesbian apparel, or bi…or transgender?
*”Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer”- All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names? They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games? OMG! I need a safe space and a warm cookie. Somebody get me a ‘Cecil’ plush toy! Harassment of one that’s “different,” and non-inclusiveness on a grand scale!
*”A Holly Jolly Christmas”- Somebody waits for you, kiss her once for me? Did she sign a form explicitly giving consent prior to the attempt to kiss “her?”
*”There’s No Place Like Home For The Holidays”- How do you think this makes the homeless feel? Or did you think at all?
*”It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year”- Of course it is- for you- you culturally dominant SOB. What about TET or Ramadan?
*”O Tannenbaum”- Sure, an ode to the Aryan race and would-be fascists around the globe.
*”Up On The Housetop”- What, like Santa has to be a man because we all know only a big, strong male is capable of getting on the roof with bags of toys and then sliding down a chimney? Good old St. Nick? How about good old St. Chick? And give little Nell a doll? Really? Why not a truck or something gender-neutral?
*”The 12 Days Of Christmas”- Nine ladies dancing? Of course, what else are they capable of doing? Probably really meant lap-dancing to the ancient white males who wrote this tripe. Eight maids a milking? There’s the 1% forcing the lower classes to do the grunt work again. Sexist as well. Six geese a laying? They’ve gotta do the wealthy’s dirty work, too? Dairy is theft, you know! And bad for you. Three French hens? Of course, say, Palestinian hens aren’t good enough, are they? WTF?
*”Hark, The Herald Angels Sing”- What about the deaf or mute? Think maybe this song makes them feel disrespected?
*”I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”- Why not daddy kissing Santa Claus? Or both daddy and mommy kissing Santa Claus? This song is such 1950’s ‘Father Knows Best’-ish traditional Christian crap.
I’ve come to realize the whole genre is offensive and hurtful. And, we need to take Christ out of Christmas, once and for all.
And we are well on our way to doing that, Allahu Akbar.
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