Historic Climate Change Agreement Nears Completion

                The nations of the world are purportedly nearing a historic global climate agreement, if media reports out of Paris are to be believed. Most country’s representatives seemed upbeat about the chances to wrap up an agreement this weekend, prior to the end of the conference. Whew, just in the nick of time! Or, as vastly hyperbolized newspaper and website headlines have screamed, “World’s Last Chance!”

                Liu Zhenmin, deputy chief of the Chinese delegation, however, was a bit more cautious and circumspect. “We need heating. We need air conditioning. You need to drive your car,” he stated. Zhenmin therefore cautioned against sharply limiting the number of degrees the planet warms this century. I rarely agree with a representative of the comically named “People’s Republic of China,” but this is one of those times. China should spend some serious money on cleaning up its air, water and land pollution, an effort that would help the health of its citizens, not on a “problem” that is problematic, at best.

                 The phrase, ‘sharply limiting the number of degrees the planet warms this century,’ is an indication of truly remarkable hubris on our part. I was unaware that there was a planetary thermostat that we could simply adjust to our comfort level.

                Obama: “turn it down, we’re being wasteful!”

                Xi Jinping: “leave it where it’s at, I’m cold enough as it is!”

                The Cosmos laughs.