Chuck Shepherd’s News of the Weird reports that an upscale
neighborhood in San Francisco (as related by SFGate.com) has engaged in
discussions about whether someone committing petty, nonviolent theft should be
referred to by the “offensive” term “criminal.” It was suggested that perhaps
it would be less judgmental to refer to them, for example, as “the person who
stole my bicycle.” Apparently “criminal” is too harsh and may not acknowledge
factors leading to the person’s actions.
This
opens up a whole new line of opportunities for the politically-correct to
exploit, and is a potential game-changer for criminal defense attorneys and the
like! Excuse me, I meant to say that it is a potential game-changer for “those
who have not fully complied with the law” defense attorneys.
This
new push for thief and criminal dignity is exciting! They- and their actions-
have long been in need of re-branding,
to be in harmony with modern mores and sensibilities. To wit:
*”Arsonist”
could similarly hereafter be referred to as, “the person who lit my fire.” This
is also less judgmental and indeed somewhat ambiguous, as it could actually be
a good thing, and sexy too, bringing
to mind the classic Doors song.
*”Rapists”
will henceforth be known as “those who very aggressively encourage sexual
relations and role play.”
*”Embezzlement”
is much better cast as “creative, though outside the lines, white-collar income
redistribution.”
*”Murder”
is more accurately described as, “delayed termination of a non-viable tissue mass.”
*”Terrorism”
has already been rechristened as
“man-caused workplace violence,” by enlightened members of the Obama
administration.
*”Fraud”
is currently defined in Webster’s New Universal Unabridged Dictionary as,
“deceit, trickery, sharp practice, or breach of confidence, perpetrated for
profit or to gain some unfair or dishonest advantage.”
Funny,
that sounds to me like the definition of what man-caused climate change
believers are practicing.
No comments:
Post a Comment