China Banning Christian Churches From Displaying The Ten Commandments

                China’s increasingly authoritarian Communist regime has ordered many Christian churches to replace the Ten Commandments with quotes from President Xi Jinping, according to an online magazine that reports on religious liberty—or the lack thereof—and human rights in the world’s most populous country. Barnabas Aid, an international Christian assistance agency, has also chronicled the Chicom’s ever more intensive campaign to “Sinicize” Christianity. (Emphasis on “Sin”).

                The United States has already prohibited the Ten Commandments—the foundational moral code of Christians everywhere and of the United States itself-- from being displayed in many public and governmental spaces. The way things are trending now, it is literally no stretch to believe that the Ten Commandments will soon be banned throughout the land, to be replaced by quotes from the likes of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Bernie Sanders, Hillary Clinton, Al Gore, Saul Alinsky and Chairman Mao. Here is one version of what I suspect an updated, secular Ten Commandments might look like:

1)      We progressives know best. You shall not listen to anyone with dissenting viewpoints. Man-caused global warming, er, climate change, is settled science. We have spoken.

2)      You shall not make for yourself a parody of us, nor criticize, question or doubt us in any way. Those who deny us will be summarily destroyed, but those who glory in us will receive lots of free things.

3)      As for Trump, “You shall “impeach the motherf*cker!”

4)      Remember not to work on Sunday, the Sabbath day. Also, don’t work on any of the other days. We will pay you a living wage for doing nothing, as long as you vote for us.

5)      Honor your father and your mother. Or your two mommies. Or three sugar daddies. Or two moms, three dads, a transgender, pangender and a goat. It’s all good. Remember, “Love is Love.”

6)      You shall not murder. But abortion is okay.

7)      You shall not commit adultery. Hahaha, just kidding. Let your freak flags fly.

8)      Stealing is okay if a rich person has something you covet. But cultural appropriation is strictly forbidden.

9)      You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor…unless he is a straight, white, Republican male.

10)   You are encouraged to covet your neighbor’s house, wife, male servant, car, cash, ox, donkey, dog, young daughter or son, sexual or gender identity, kink or other perversion.

Burger King South Africa Drops "Ham" From "Hamburger" Menu Items

                There is woke and then there is a joke. That is what Burger King in South Africa has become. The global fast food behemoth recently announced it is dropping the word “ham” from its menu in its South African restaurants. The chain is removing the first three letters of the word “hamburger” from menu listings in its South African outlets “to be more respectful” of Muslims and their halal diets which forbid the consumption of pork. Even though hamburgers contain no pork whatsoever and the word “ham” is not banned under Sharia Law. For example, the “Double Spicy Hamburger” will now be listed as the “Double Spicy Burger.” I don’t know about you, but I feel better already. Let’s all join hands and sing “Kumbaya” now, shall we?

                Seriously, how dumb does BK think Muslims are? Or maybe I’m mistaken. Perhaps most Muslims in South Africa are so easily offended, that simply seeing the letters “h” “a” and “m” strung together will cause them to boycott an eatery…or worse.

                Maybe we should strike the word “hammock” from the English language too, in proactive solidarity with our Muslim brothers and sisters. Henceforth any suspended bed of canvas or rope mesh used for repose should be referred to only as a “mock.” If any of you have a pet hamster you might want to consider calling it a “ster” instead. At least if you wish to be seen as progressive enough in the eyes of the urban, coastal elites that determine these things for all of us. “Hammer,” “hamstring,” and “hamper” should all be expunged from the English language so that we may not inadvertently offend someone of the Muslim persuasion.

                I must admit, however, that when I started thinking about “Hamas,” the Palestinian Islamic movement founded with the goal of establishing a Palestinian state incorporating present day Israel, I became confused and conflicted. Hamas is, apparently, an acronym for Harakat al-Muqãwama al-Islãmiyya’Islamic Resistance Movement. (I don’t know, either). So, if an Islamic organization brands itself “Hamas,” who are we to judge?

                Upon reasoned reflection, Burger King South Africa’s actions were utterly unnecessary. I would even say they were…ham-handed.

Democrats Arriving At The House Of Representatives

                Actual pictures of Democrats arriving at the House of Representatives, September 27th, 2019, approximately 9:00 a.m.

                                                                         

The War On Truth

It is extremely hard for sane people to understand how we arrived where we are today…culturally and politically. We have men claiming to be women allowed in women’s bathrooms and locker rooms. We are informed that there are 60, 70— or 112 different genders-- but that men and women are virtually the same. For years there have been gay pride parades across the country that are, in many cases, sanctioned by cities, businesses and even police forces, among other entities. Yet, recently, the only “straight pride” parade of which I’m aware was the subject of great controversy, with a few progressives labeling it “obscene.” Christian religious organizations are being designated as “hate groups” by leftist bodies such as the Southern Poverty Law Center. In a few cases, priests and pastors have been threatened with jail time for citing Bible verses. “Misgendering” someone can cost you your job. Denver has legalized the use of “magic,” or psychedelic mushrooms.

And now we have “serious” Democratic presidential candidates proposing truly crazy socialist plans that would bankrupt their own country, collapse the world’s economy, and subject U.S. citizens to ever more government control. “1984” couldn’t happen then. Ronald Reagan was in office. But, ironically, it could arrive in 2020, or shortly after, albeit nearly four decades late.

The saddest irony—and real tragedy-- is that the left’s arguments are so easily defeated, if only conservatives and classical liberals would stand up and fight. To wit:

*Men and women aren’t the same. If there were no differences between men and women…there would be no men or women.

*“Women can do whatever they like with their own body.” No they can’t. Neither can men. First of all, abortion is taking the life of a different person. But, leaving that aside, a woman can’t drive 75-miles-an-hour in a 30-mile-per-hour zone. Neither can a man. No one has the right to crap on Nancy Pelosi’s shoes, club baby seals over the head, drive drunk or rob a convenience store. Speaking of which, a 15-year-old girl can’t buy a pack of cigarettes from said convenience store but can abort her child. In the first instance, her parents may well be called, in the latter…not so much. Priorities.

*Progressives say that trans folks aren’t “comfortable” and “don’t feel safe” if they can’t use the bathrooms and locker rooms of the sex with which they purport to identify. So it’s okay to make the other 99% of people uncomfortable and concerned for their safety?

*Repealing the Second Amendment and/or enacting stricter gun control laws does nothing but ensure that law-abiding citizens are disarmed and unable to defend themselves and their loved ones, and that criminals, who by definition don’t obey laws, are safe, comfortable, and unopposed. Baltimore, Washington, D.C. and Chicago have some of the strictest gun control laws in the nation, yet are at or near the top of cities with the highest rates of violent crime and homicide. Period. End of story. The government couldn’t make a moral person shoot someone without reason, nor can it prevent a bad or mentally ill person from doing so. Disarming the former strips them of their natural right to life-- as granted by their Creator-- while encouraging the latter in their unjust pursuits.

             How the times have changed! Many things that were only a short time ago considered bad are now celebrated and vice-versa.

Bad-                                                                                 Good-

                                                                               

*Smoking cigarettes                                                        *Smoking pot

*HIV/Aids                                                                       *Homosexuality

*Christopher Columbus                                                  *Elizabeth Warren (aka ‘Pocahontas)

*Bigger people                                                                *Bigger government

*Making money                                                              *Taking money/taxation of the wealthy

*Loss of glaciers                                                             *Loss of Character

*Intolerance                                                                    *Intolerance…of those deemed intolerant by the left

*Discrimination of minorities                                       *Discrimination of majorities

*Invasive species                                                            *Illegal aliens

            I honestly expect AOC or another one of the Democrat’s Insane Clown Posse (DICP) to simply propose that everything that was illegal in, say, 1970 should now be made legal and everything that was legal should now be made illegal. As The Kinks once stated, “It’s a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world.”

            The truth doesn’t care about our feelings. Some things just are. The universe is not a random collection of things that don’t matter. We can’t render truth illegal without sentencing ourselves to a Second Dark Age.

The Anti-Defamation League Adds "OK" Sign To Its Hate Symbol Database

                The Anti-Defamation League has added the “OK” hand sign and the bowl-style haircut to its hate symbol database, which now sports nearly 200 entries. This news was reported by CNN (itself a hate symbol in my humble opinion). The ADL says the long-used symbol for “that’s good!” somehow became linked to white nationalism after a hoax on a website insisted that the sign really stood for white supremacy. The website, 4chan, is an imageboard site whose users are typically anonymous, much like most New York Times reporter’s sources.

                The ADL claims that “at least some” white supremacists are now using the symbol/gesture as a “sincere” expression of white supremacy. Jonathan Greenblatt, the ADL’s CEO, explained to CNN: “We believe law enforcement and the public needs to be fully informed about the meaning of these images, which can serve as a first warning sign to the presence of haters in a community or school.”

                Yes, it is scary when someone makes the age-old, formerly universally understood symbol for “okay,” “I approve,” or “that’s nice.” Greenblatt told NBC news that gestures such as these, though seemingly innocuous, are easily manipulated into “a force for promoting hate” and “sowing the seeds of division.” I’m sure that CEO Dilrod would be “OK” with throwing kids out of school for making the threatening hand-gesture.

                The bowl-cut made the hate list due to the fact that this happened to be the hair “style” racist and mass killer Dylan Roof apparently favored, leading the ADL to assume that anyone else sporting the same cut must admire Roof and be secretly calling for more racism-based mass murders to be carried out. That is a lot to put on a hairdo.

                The ADL has updated its list of hate symbols to include those it claims have been adopted-- appropriated?-- by the alt right. ADL’s website labels these “the modern calling cards of hate.”

                Sources say the organization will soon expand its hate symbol database yet again to include other symbols of white supremacy such as the pantsuit, the Olive Garden and Cracker Barrel restaurant chains, Mr. Rogers, the “thumbs up” sign, the phrase “you betcha,” milk, and common decency.

Mattel Introduces Gender-Neutral Dolls

                Mattel has proudly announced a new line of “Creatable World” gender-neutral dolls for today’s woke families. The company says that, “Through research, we heard that kids don’t want their toys dictated by gender norms.” They “heard” through research? Who’s research?

                Kim Culmone, senior vice president of Mattel Fashion Doll Design, released a statement saying, "Toys are a reflection of culture and as the world continues to celebrate the positive impact of inclusivity, we felt it was time to create a doll line free of labels. This line allows all kids to express themselves freely which is why it resonates so strongly with them. We’re hopeful Creatable World will encourage people to think more broadly about how all kids can benefit from doll play." Doll play, roll play, gender play, sex play, imagine the possibilities for inclusiveness! If genders are limitless, roll play is too!

Company spokeswoman Michelle Chidoni told the Los Angeles Times that the Creatable World dolls “have much more youthful, gender-neutral bodies and anatomy” than Barbie dolls, “so that they can look and appear more relatable” to real kids in actual families. Yes, because we know that most kids have gender-neutral bodies.

                Kids will be able to customize the new dolls with long or short hair, pants or skirts, or both. The dolls will come in six different skin tones and sell for around $30.

                I assume the doll’s will be hairless-- except for their heads-- and that the kiddies will also have the option to place vaginas, boobs, penises and scrotums in a la carte fashion on the bodies of their little plastic charges. In other words, they will get to randomly “assign” genders to them…or consider them all gender-neutral or genderless. This is just what they need: an anatomically confusing—if adventurous-- human version of “Mr. Potato Head.” Suggested names include “Pat,” “Terry,” “Kyle,” “Alex,” “Bobby,” “Jamie,” and “Tatum.”

                Hopefully, someday soon, if Mattel is truly committed to inclusivity, kids will be able to play with dolls that are species-neutral, as well. Imagine being able to interchange human and animal parts! How inclusive! How liberating! Who’d like a prehensile tail or a marsupial’s pouch? How about a bird’s beak or a rhino’s horn? Where else could we put an elephant’s trunk? Whoa! Bet that would make Pat or Terry feel good, wouldn’t it, kids?

                I’m guessing Creatable World figures come with a disclaimer urging kids not to dress up any of the dolls as straight, white, Christian males and a message stating: “Remember kids, ‘good’ is bad…and ‘normal’ is abnormal.”

Ukrainian Rhapsody

                The three-year-old Hyperbole Festival has reached new levels of insanity. Democrats, progressives, leftists and the mainstream media have morphed into one giant crazed entity, intent on taking down President Trump whatever the cost. If the country is left charred, barren and bereft, so be it.

                The Exaggerator-in-Chief is not slowing—or backing—down either.

                The rabid never-Trumpers recently latched on to what, in their bulging blood-red eyes, constitutes yet another (supposedly) impeachable offense the president has (allegedly) committed. This time the president apparently asked the new Ukrainian president to investigate Hunter Biden’s role in the natural gas firm Burisma Holdings, a company that was itself being investigated by a Ukrainian prosecutor as part of a corruption probe. Hunter’s dad, former vice-president Joe Biden, openly boasted a year ago that he successfully pressured Ukraine into firing that prosecutor during his time in office. But, never mind, the media is entirely uninterested in any scandal involving Democrats, instead preferring to project them onto Trump.

                This leads to interviews, comments and twitter posts such as the following:

CNN reporter: “Mr. President, did you unfairly pressure the president of Ukraine into investigating Hunter Biden?”

Trump: “No. My call with President Zelensky was perfectly acceptable. A normal friendly call. Wonderful, really.”

MSNBC reporter: “Mr. President, sources tell us that you held back aid to pressure Ukraine into investigating Hunter Biden.”

Trump: “Not true. Fake news. My phone call with President Zelensky was the purest call ever. Perfect. A perfect call.”

Republican presidential candidate William Weld: “Trump’s phone call with the Ukrainian government was treason. The penalty for treason under the U.S. code is death. That’s the only penalty. Death.”

Trump: “My call was executed flawlessly. It was beatific, actually. No one else has ever had a call like that in history. Best. Call. Ever.”

The New York Times: “Logically, Trump should be tarred and feathered. And have his tiny genitalia cut off. That is what the Founders would have wanted. That is the punishment the Constitution provides for.”

Trump: “Frankly, my call was Godlike. I believe the Lord is proud of my call with President Zelensky. By-the-way, as you know, I am a very stable genius. But you all in the media are acting like spoiled children that didn’t get what they wanted.” 

Mainstream Media (altogether, in unison): “That’s not true-- President Poopy-pants-- and you know it!”

Etc., etc., ad infinitum.

                                                   [FADE]

(Have we ever before seen a member of the same party essentially call for the death of a sitting president because of a phone call? I think not. Democrats couldn’t even roust themselves to strongly condemn Bill Clinton’s infamous call with a foreign leader-- from the Oval Office—while Monica Lewinsky was under his desk with her mouth full of presidential tube-steak).

Progressive Panic

             According to “progressives” the Earth is doomed because of: Global warming/climate change/fracking/extraction industries as a whole/capitalism/white, heterosexual, cis-male Christians/toxic masculinity/homophobia/misogyny/fructose/melting glaciers/ozone-layer depletion/plastic straws/the internal combustion engine/plastic bags/red meat/floods/drought/soft-drinks/cigarettes/earthquakes (caused by man’s fracking)/air travel/cow farts/Macedonian content farms/Russian election interference/Trump’s existence/Israel’s existence/firearms/Islamophobia/the U.S.’s possible attempt to gain control of its own borders/Donald Trump, Jr./flushing the toilet/people driving cars/turning on the lights/rampant obesity/right-wing terrorist groups/Chick-fil-A/Fox News/(American) football/greenhouse gases/moronic rubes in flyover country/country music/hunting/fishing/habitat loss/water pollution/EL Niño/non-organic food/genetically-modified food/opioids/nuclear power/nuclear weapons/deforestation/invasive species…and saturated fats.

Yet the average life expectancy has steadily risen around the planet in recent decades. Hmm.

And, oddly enough, abortion/Socialism/Godlessness/hyper-secularism and casually swapping kid’s genders doesn’t make the leftist’s list. Apparently, these are all ‘A-OK,’ no possible threat to human society or the planet as a whole.

But there are even more threats. Artificial intelligence could spiral out of control. Governments could be so incompetent, brutal and tyrannical that they would render life unbearable.

Some experts predict that “unknown unknowns” may do us all in, believing that it’s a virtual certainty that countless other unpredictable, though existential, dangers exist of which we are as yet unaware.

And then there is “BRETTD, CERTIFIED EDUCATOR,” as one website describes him. Brett opined that homo sapiens have harmed the Earth in innumerable ways, saying of (other) humans: “How haven't they harmed the Earth?  Humans, in the end, are animals, and they consume resources and occupy space.  The difference between us and other animals is our ability to think and reason, so we have harmed the Earth with technology, drilling, mining, settlement, overharvesting, overfishing, large scale carbon emissions and pollution of all sorts, particularly water pollution and nuclear waste.”

So, it’s our ability to think and reason that’s killing the planet? Well, I guess that means Democrats really are better for the Earth.

Or not. Personally, I plan to eat red meat with plastic utensils and sip a “Big-Gulp” soft-drink through a plastic straw while driving my SUV and texting the CEO of Exxon boob pictures and Bible verses as I’m on the way to a Trump rally—guns, fishing rods and cartons of cigarettes in my trunk, football game on the radio, yarmulke on my head.

Truth be told, the Earth is only doomed if sane people allow progressives/leftists to rule over it. And them.

Native American Genocide Led To The Little Ice Age, Study Says

                CNN (the Comedy News Network) reported that researchers from University College (twice as dumb?) in London published a paper theorizing that “The Little Ice Age” was brought about by the dramatic decrease in the population of Native Americans in the 15^th and 16^th centuries. The “researchers” say that the death of so many indigenous people at the hands of European settlers caused the lands they had been tilling to be reforested, with the resulting increase in trees and vegetation leading to dramatically less CO2 being released into the atmosphere. This change in carbon levels was enough to cool the Earth by 1610, according to the study.

                The study estimates that 56 million indigenous people were killed over the course of about 100 years during the period leading up to The Little Ice Age. It also claims that an area the size of France was reforested as a result. UCL Geography Professor Mark Maslin, one of the study’s co-authors, stated: “CO2 and climate had been relatively stable until this point. So, this is the first major change we see in the Earth’s greenhouse gases.”

                This is what is known, in scientific terms, as “a giant load of fetid crap.” First of all, there may not have even been 56 million Native Americans alive before Columbus arrived in 1492, immediately and single-handedly despoiling this Indigenous Utopia. (Nearly all of the Native Americans that did sadly perish were killed by European diseases to which they had no immunity, not as a result of “genocide” as the paper intimates). No one really knows how many there were. To say that estimates vary wildly is an understatement. All the Indians didn’t just fall dead the moment Columbus stepped off the boat. These deaths occurred over the course of more than a century. Secondly, how many of those that died were tilling the land? And how fast do the study’s authors think farmland turns into forest? Even if an area the size of France somehow instantaneously reforested itself ala a giant, deranged Chia pet, that would have no measurable effect on the temperature of the planet as a whole.

                Professor Maslin asserted that “CO2 and climate had been relatively stable until this point. So, this is the first major change we see in the Earth’s greenhouse gases” or climate? That is laughable on its face. There have been wild fluctuations in the planet’s climate for hundreds of thousands of years and more. Hence the alternating cycle of ice ages and warm periods. There have been times of greatly increased volcanic activity, leading to the atmosphere being loaded up with greenhouse gases. To say that the “first major change” in greenhouse gases we noticed was a decrease in them after Europeans arrived in America is preposterous and counter-intuitive to global warming alarmist’s own argument. In other words, it’s bullshit. It’s the first major change you wanted to see and acknowledge…for this study.

                Prior to this groundbreaking “study,” most scientists attributed the change in temperature during the 1600s to natural forces. Thankfully, we now are educated enough to realize that only unnatural man can cause climatic change. But, if we are an unnatural force, how did we—naturally—arise from nature? I mean, we know we weren’t put here by God, by God!

                So, DFLers, if getting rid of tilled land will cool the Earth down and arrest or reverse global warming, I guess we just need all the farmers to go the way of the early Native Americans. Right?

Biden Rally!

Water Works Park Amphitheater

Des Moines, Iowa

Saturday, September 21, 2019—9:00 A.M.

Biden Fest Pre-Steak Fry Event (with Joe Biden!)

Former Vice-President Joe Biden happily addresses crowd: “Good morning ladies and gentlemen…and, uh, you know, those of indeterminate or other gender. I welcome you all, regardless!” (polite applause emanates from crowd).

He continues: “You know, I’ve always loved Iowa. I love dirt, pigs, corn, silos, Olive Garden restaurants…all the stuff that you guys…and, uh, gals and others do! If you ask me, farmers work too darn hard for their money. And there is so much work to be done. It’s no wonder why you guys need such big families. Speaking of which, if you can get a tax break for a racehorse, why can’t you get a tax break for a pig? And, even more importantly, why in God’s name couldn’t we provide an $8,000 tax credit for everybody who has childcare costs? That would put 720 million* American women back in the workforce! It would also increase the GDP, to sound like a wonk here, by about eight-tenths of one percent. It would grow the economy. (Hearty applause, though some look around confusedly). Anyway, I am humbled to see so many of you here today. Trump always inflates the number of folks who attend his rallies, but he has nothing on you guys. I bet there are over 20 million of you here in Kansas with me this morning! Go Jayhawks!” (Many in the crowd looking around uncomfortably…some mumbling).

Biden again: “You know, when I got back home from Flanders Fields after serving in World War I, I took a good look around and I said to myself: ‘Joseph, what else can you do to make this a better world?’ You know how I replied to myself? I said: ‘Run for public office. Run for public office.’ So that’s why I’m so gratified to see you all here, many of you holding Polaroids and tape recorders, and some with those new Blueberry, uh, Blackberry phone thingies. So I hope you all go back home and turn on your record players, spend some time with your Pet Rocks… or try to solve your Rubik’s Cubes…or even hop in your Edsels or Duesenbergs and go for a celebratory ride. Because, ‘Biden in 2020’ baby. That’s where it’s at. Thank you! Now let’s eat!”

                                  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*According to the U.S. Census, there are 330 million people living in the United States. Roughly half of those are women. Maybe two-thirds of them are of working age, the majority already gainfully employed. There were a total of 5,824,000 unemployed people in the U.S. as of April, 2019. Biden’s 720 million figure is beyond preposterous-- but of a piece with his fellow Democrats’ claims of the Green New Deal and climate change, etc. Pathetic is an understatement.