There is woke and then there is a joke. That is what Burger
King in South Africa has become. The global fast food behemoth recently
announced it is dropping
the word “ham” from its menu in its South African restaurants. The chain is
removing the first three letters of the word “hamburger” from menu listings in its
South African outlets “to be more respectful” of Muslims and their halal diets
which forbid the consumption of pork. Even though hamburgers contain no
pork whatsoever and the word “ham” is not banned under Sharia Law. For example,
the “Double Spicy Hamburger” will now be listed as the “Double Spicy Burger.” I
don’t know about you, but I feel better already. Let’s all join hands and sing
“Kumbaya” now, shall we?
Seriously,
how dumb does BK think Muslims are? Or maybe I’m mistaken. Perhaps most
Muslims in South Africa are so easily offended, that simply seeing the letters
“h” “a” and “m” strung together will cause them to boycott an eatery…or worse.
Maybe
we should strike the word “hammock” from the English language too, in proactive
solidarity with our Muslim brothers and sisters. Henceforth any suspended bed
of canvas or rope mesh used for repose should be referred to only as a “mock.” If
any of you have a pet hamster you might want to consider calling it a “ster”
instead. At least if you wish to be seen as progressive enough in the eyes of
the urban, coastal elites that determine these things for all of us. “Hammer,”
“hamstring,” and “hamper” should all be expunged from the English language so
that we may not inadvertently offend someone of the Muslim persuasion.
I must
admit, however, that when I started thinking about “Hamas,” the Palestinian
Islamic movement founded with the goal of establishing a Palestinian state
incorporating present day Israel, I became confused and conflicted. Hamas is,
apparently, an acronym for Harakat al-Muqãwama al-Islãmiyya’Islamic Resistance
Movement. (I don’t know, either). So, if an Islamic organization brands itself
“Hamas,” who are we to judge?
Upon
reasoned reflection, Burger King South Africa’s actions were utterly
unnecessary. I would even say they were…ham-handed.
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