Saturday, January 12, 2019

Denver To Legalize Magic Mushrooms?

                The pot must be working like a good gateway drug should. Denver activists are planning to make the already mile-high city even higher. They recently turned in ballot petitions that they hope will be the first step towards decriminalizing the use of psychedelic psilocybin mushrooms, more commonly called “magic mushrooms.” If the initiative is approved by voters in the May municipal mushroom election, the city would become the first in the nation to essentially legalize the hallucinogens, for those 21 and older, by barring the use of city resources to impose penalties on those who ingest them.
                Members of the group Decriminalize Denver claim they have collected well over 8,000 ballot petition signatures. 4,726 verified signatures from registered voters are required to make the ballot. Activists have hope, since similar strategy was employed to decriminalize marijuana usage leading up to the voters’ approval of legalization in 2012.
                Supporters say “’shrooms” can reduce stress and opioid use.
                   However, according to and the Center for Substance Abuse Treatment, a person high on mushrooms can experience “extreme tension, anxiety and restlessness,” as well as “frightening hallucinations, confusion, disorientation, paranoia, agitation, depression, panic, and terror.” That doesn’t seem very relaxing. Moreover, psychological effects of magic mushrooms include “perceptual distortions, auditory, and visual hallucinations, melding of the senses, difficulty focusing, impaired judgment, sense of detachment from body, altered perception of space and time, inability to distinguish fantasy from reality, and melding of past experiences with present.”

                Egads! This may explain the entire Democratic Party!
                The site goes on to say that the effect of magic mushrooms can be dangerous (duh!) and “sometimes fatal.” It also says that those who take the mushrooms “may not even realize what they are doing,” and that “a person is more likely to engage in dangerous activities while on the drugs, since their reality will be completely distorted.” It adds that “it may take days for their brain chemicals to return to normal,” and helpfully notes that “this can have a negative impact on their life and daily responsibilities.”
                Not to mention their underwear. Or their families.
                But, what the hell. We’ve already legalized abortion, covenantial gay marriage, marijuana (in some states), and illegal immigration. We’re on a roll! Why stop at magic mushrooms? It would be illogical at this point. Let’s legalize crack cocaine, bestiality, heroine, polyamory, crystal meth, pedophilia, Krokodil and necrophilia while we’re at it, too.

                There could be a new “Rocky Mountain high” coming. “Dude, I’m like so hungry after these spliffs. Pass the mushrooms!”

                Cue John Denver. But stay off its highways.

But the Colorado mushrooms are so fine
I've seen giant dragons in the sky
And read to cyclops and unicorns such sweet lullabies
Rocky mountain high (Colorado)

It's Colorado rocky mountain high
I've seen it rainin' fire in the sky
Friends around the campfire and everybody's high
Rocky mountain high (love my mushrooms)
Rocky mountain high (mushrooms)
Rocky mountain high
Rocky mountain high
Rocky mountain high (magic mushrooms)
Rocky mountain high (yeah!)

(Ironically, the article I linked to was directly below one titled “Smoking in U.S. at Record Low” on an amalgamated news site recently. We are legalizing dangerous and illicit drugs and behavior even as we criminalize free speech, Christian expression and self-defense. What does that say about a society?)

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