Native American Genocide Led To The Little Ice Age, Study Says

                CNN (the Comedy News Network) reported that researchers from University College (twice as dumb?) in London published a paper theorizing that “The Little Ice Age” was brought about by the dramatic decrease in the population of Native Americans in the 15^th and 16^th centuries. The “researchers” say that the death of so many indigenous people at the hands of European settlers caused the lands they had been tilling to be reforested, with the resulting increase in trees and vegetation leading to dramatically less CO2 being released into the atmosphere. This change in carbon levels was enough to cool the Earth by 1610, according to the study.

                The study estimates that 56 million indigenous people were killed over the course of about 100 years during the period leading up to The Little Ice Age. It also claims that an area the size of France was reforested as a result. UCL Geography Professor Mark Maslin, one of the study’s co-authors, stated: “CO2 and climate had been relatively stable until this point. So, this is the first major change we see in the Earth’s greenhouse gases.”

                This is what is known, in scientific terms, as “a giant load of fetid crap.” First of all, there may not have even been 56 million Native Americans alive before Columbus arrived in 1492, immediately and single-handedly despoiling this Indigenous Utopia. (Nearly all of the Native Americans that did sadly perish were killed by European diseases to which they had no immunity, not as a result of “genocide” as the paper intimates). No one really knows how many there were. To say that estimates vary wildly is an understatement. All the Indians didn’t just fall dead the moment Columbus stepped off the boat. These deaths occurred over the course of more than a century. Secondly, how many of those that died were tilling the land? And how fast do the study’s authors think farmland turns into forest? Even if an area the size of France somehow instantaneously reforested itself ala a giant, deranged Chia pet, that would have no measurable effect on the temperature of the planet as a whole.

                Professor Maslin asserted that “CO2 and climate had been relatively stable until this point. So, this is the first major change we see in the Earth’s greenhouse gases” or climate? That is laughable on its face. There have been wild fluctuations in the planet’s climate for hundreds of thousands of years and more. Hence the alternating cycle of ice ages and warm periods. There have been times of greatly increased volcanic activity, leading to the atmosphere being loaded up with greenhouse gases. To say that the “first major change” in greenhouse gases we noticed was a decrease in them after Europeans arrived in America is preposterous and counter-intuitive to global warming alarmist’s own argument. In other words, it’s bullshit. It’s the first major change you wanted to see and acknowledge…for this study.

                Prior to this groundbreaking “study,” most scientists attributed the change in temperature during the 1600s to natural forces. Thankfully, we now are educated enough to realize that only unnatural man can cause climatic change. But, if we are an unnatural force, how did we—naturally—arise from nature? I mean, we know we weren’t put here by God, by God!

                So, DFLers, if getting rid of tilled land will cool the Earth down and arrest or reverse global warming, I guess we just need all the farmers to go the way of the early Native Americans. Right?