Fox
News political analyst Reince Priebus recently stated, “Minnesota has always
been a
little bit quirky when it comes to politics.”
“A
little bit quirky?”
That’s
like saying, “Kamala Harris has always been a little bit quirky when it comes
to speaking.” Or, “The Antebellum South was always a little touchy about its
slaves.” It is akin to stating, “The Nazis tended to be a bit conflicted about
the Jews.”
The
state has elected a professional wrestler (Jesse Ventura), Rudy Perpich (a.k.a.
“Governor Goofy”), and, more recently, Tampon Timmy Walz. It was the only state
in the Union that did not vote for Ronald Reagan in 1984, opting instead
for liberal milquetoast hometown candidate Walter “Mondull” Mondale. Thoroughly
Corrupt Keith Ellison is the state’s attorney general. Talk about the fox
guarding the henhouse. Far-left Lieutenant Governor Peggy Flanagan recently
donned a hijab to express solidarity with the state’s burgeoning Somali Muslim
community. Senator Amy Klobuchar once admittedly used her comb to
eat a salad.
Minnesota
has well over ten thousand lakes, but far more loons than that.
If
Jesus returned to Earth, Minnesotans would ask Him what His pronouns were…and
where He stood on unchecked illegal immigration. If Our Savior said a kind word
about ICE, Minnesotans would send Him (they?) packing. And probably throw a few
dildos at
Him, too.
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