A John ("Effing") Kerry State of the Union Address?

                My fellow effing Americans, the state of our union…is strong. That said, we have many things we have to accomplish, many wounds to heal, mouths to feed and many dreams yet to be realized. Sure, we’ve been thru some tough effing times, but as FDR said, “the only thing we have to fear is effing fear itself!” Yet, tragically, we are more divided now, in this nation, than we have been since the Civil War.

                And, as Lincoln said so eloquently, “four score and seven effing years ago, our forefathers brought forth upon this land, a new nation”…yada, yada, yada… and , “we are now met on a great effing battlefield to determine whether any nation so conceived and so dedicated can long endure.”

                And it was president Kennedy who said, “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your effing country!”

                Now, I think we all know that abstinence based sex-ed is a crock. I mean, look at Ted Kennedy, Bill Clinton,  Jesse Jackson, JFK, Gary Hart, maybe even Thomas Jefferson, for example. Do you think it would’ve worked for them? Of course not! I’m not afraid to stand before you tonight and say that it’s effing time this country spends more, not less, on sexual effing education in our schools!

                Also, I’m proposing here tonight an additional eight hundred and fifty-effing-five billion dollars for literacy programs around the effing country. No child should be left behind in our quest to stamp out illiteracy. The proper use of the effing language is vital to the success of any person.

                In 1987, on June the 12^th, president Reagan, standing at the Brandenburg Gate in the Berlin Wall said, “Mr. Gorbachev…tear down this effing wall!” Well, my dream is to tear down the effing wall between the haves and have-nots in this country! It’s high time we repeal the tax breaks for the rich. Those effers making more than $200,000 a year. Did you know the top 50% of income earners pay only 96.3% of the nation’s income taxes?! It’s time they chipped in and pulled their own weight! All of history teaches us that we should arbitrarily tax income made by the successful at a much higher rate than that made by those who aren’t as successful. We must punish those effers  who create wealth and jobs-and new drugs that save millions of lives….might have saved yours. Only in this way can we be truly effing successful as a country. Look at the former Soviet Union, look at Cuba, look to Albania and North Korea…these are the shining examples of a truly egalitarian society.

                Sure our “poor” are far, far wealthier than all but the handful of communist masters of these states, but more people in these worker’s paradises are on a level playing field and therefore make much the same income. We care about our poor people’s feelings. So what if in America a ‘poor’ family can make $29,000 effing dollars per year? The rich can make millions. In Cuba, et. al., the poor might make $800 to $8,000 a year….but no one outside of the party heads and government elite make much more than that. ‘One percenters’, lol. Maybe one tenth of one percent make a real living wage. 99.9% would dream of the income and status and leisure time and toys and high-tech gadgets that the Occupy Wallstreet, etc. crowd have here. See  my effing point? So much more equal distribution of wealth in these countries as opposed to ours! No envy, no violence, no need for ‘occupy this or that’.

                Yes, we have very real and grave challenges ahead of us. Dire threats to our country. Right-wing religious effing zealots are amidst us…as I speak! These people would have us acknowledge God, let the Ten effing Commandments be discussed- perhaps even observed- in public areas. They would have us ‘profile’ passengers on airplanes based only on 100% accurate information and historical record. They would- strength brothers and sisters- try to limit or even eliminate the one true religion…baby killing. I am so effing proud to stand here today and say that no one can be an official delegate of my party or speak at my party’s convention if they don’t believe in the right of any parent to kill their potential offspring! Thank you, thank you…that always gets the audience…oldy, but goody…thanks.

                As Teddy Roosevelt said, “Speak softly and carry a big effing stick.” And that’s just what we’re going to do to anyone in the ‘intolerati’ who disagrees with us. Give them the big effing stick… you know where! Because, as George H.W. Bush said, “I want a kinder, gentler effing nation.”

                Some jack-booted reactionaries on the right say we should fear the fact that almost 90% of those in the ‘mainstream media’ typically only vote for one party’s candidates, approaching the same percent as the ‘Supreme Soviet’ of years gone by, they claim. Some of those same folks say we should fear Islamic terrorists who have repeatedly vowed to wipe us off of the face of the Earth. Some say we should fear the corrupting of my party by foreign governments like China’s who have contributed massive amounts of money to our campaigns for certain…’policy’…considerations. Some of them say we should fear the continuing degradation of our effing ‘standards and morals’ as our culture gets more ‘coarse, vulgar and desensitized’. I say we should give these reactionary assholes a swift boat-excuse me, boot- in the effing ass!  I say we should only fear these pointy-helmuted, swastika-wielding effing reactionaries. Here, here!!

                As president Obama proclaimed, “We…are the ones we’ve effing been waiting for. We are the effing change we seek.”

                If this country is ever to live up to its democratic principles, we must strive to kill the most defenseless among us, limit the reach of our least able, punish all manner of success and dignity, reward sloth, let government dictate to individuals and not vice-versa, and completely eliminate the stain of effing Judeo-Christian values from our midst!

                Thank you. And may God bless this great effing country.

               

 

Robin Williams Tribute

                The first time I saw Robin Williams was on “the Tonight Show” in 1984. He was promoting a new movie he was in, “Moscow on the Hudson”. He was showing Johnny his “Soviet hand-puppet”. He had a sock over his right hand and was trying to "talk" through it  while his left hand was muzzling it, so no words were audible. Nothing really got out except for increasingly breathless mumbling. Find the clip if you can. It was funny.

                As he was funny. And manic. I remember my first opinion of him was, ‘this guy’s mind is fast!'
                So I went to see the movie. It was great. Very funny, but about  serious subjects, it revealed a deeply human, subtle, passionate, touching side of him. Turns out, he was an excellent actor, as well. There followed many more movies and many more classic roles for him to bring to life. He was a master at making a thoughtful person laugh one minute and choke back tears the next. In the same movie. Sometimes the same scene.

                Always he made us laugh.

                I don’t know the demons that he was wrestling with, but it’s difficult for a family anytime a loved one passes. It’s even harder to deal with, if possible, when that loved one took their own life.

                There is a classic scene in “Moscow on the Hudson” in which Williams’ character (a musician on tour with a Russian orchestra) defects in a Bloomingdale's department store in New York City. Held briefly by U.S. authorities, he is allowed to go outside and watch as the bus carrying his fellow musicians is pulling away. He looks at his friend through an open bus window, gently moves his arms up and down and states, “I am free…free like bird."

                Yes you are, Robin.

                “Goo-ood morning, Heaven! There’s a new heartbeat here.”

                Carpe Diem, captain, my captain.

Mass Extinction?

                According to “a new study” that has been “hailed by outside experts”,  species of plants and animals are becoming extinct “at least” 1,000 times faster than they did before humans arrived on the planet. Species now are disappearing from Earth about 10 times faster than biologists had previously believed said the study’s lead author. The study also "found" a dramatically lower rate of extinction in the past then scientists had thought.

                Imagine that. This time, they are dead-on accurate, however. Really! Usually, when data is adjusted, or serious, long-term, quantative measurements are changed as a result of, say, new technologies, etc., they are done so incrementally. If there truly is a high level of confidence and certainty  in these measurements.

                This study’s conclusion that species are becoming extinct 1,000 times faster than they did before homo-sapiens gummed up the works- which is 10 times faster than they had thought prior to said study- is an admittance that they were, in essence, 1,000 percent off in their previous belief! But, again, not to worry, this one is spot on! (How do you know this now? The past is just further in the past then it was).

                Furthermore, and remarkably, the lead author went on to say that “we are on the verge of the sixth extinction. Whether we avoid it or not will depend on our actions.”

                You see, five times in the past, a vast majority of the world’s life has been extinguished in what have been called mass extinctions. The most recent was 65 million years ago. The first was 445 million years ago. In the third ‘event’ 252 million years ago, called “The Great Dying”,  83% of all living things on Earth perished.

                You may have detected a pattern here. Mankind wasn’t a factor in any of these. That’s right,  all of the scientifically –acknowledged mass extinctions, including one in which 80-90% of all species were snuffed out, occurred …before we did. The United States didn’t exist. Neither did the Koch brothers. There was no energy production.  No greenhouse gasses. No cows. No cities, no urban sprawl, no building or developing of any kind. There were no human beings.

                Yet, as with global warming, experts now  “know” that-  though we had nothing to do with any earlier occurrence- the next round is totally on us.

                Objectivity? “Fairness?”

                What other species is aware of, and concerned with, other species becoming extinct? (From my observations, mosquitoes and deer ticks- among many, o.k. all, others- wouldn’t be prime candidates for this thoughtfulness).

                And are scientists and experts worried that, for example, Christians are becoming extinct in certain parts of the Middle East... and on college campuses and in portions of large  cities across America for that matter?

                In general I love animals. Really love wild places. Love an unspoiled vista…I’d wager more than most. Guarantee you more than most liberals in big cities.

                But the extinctions that trouble me the most? Those of logic… and freedom of thought and speech.

               

             

           

Soviet Union Lite (That's U.S.)

                A 16-year-old Philadelphia girl, Samantha Pawlucy, was mocked by her geometry teacher for wearing a Mitt Romney tee-shirt to school in September of 2012. Based on all the articles and excerpts I’ve read, it appears clear that her teacher went into the hallway to call other students and faculty into her room to laugh at her. That doesn't seem very nurturing or supportive. Apparently, her teacher also called a ‘non-teaching assistant’ into the classroom who attempted to write on her tee-shirt with a marker. Moreover, she allegedly told Samantha to remove her shirt (!) and that she would be given another one to wear.

                This ‘teacher’ went on to ‘explain’ that Carroll was a “Democratic school” and that “wearing a Republican tee-shirt was akin to wearing a KKK shirt.”

                At one point, she claims, upon returning to school to find this same teacher still teaching her class, she was embarrassed  and distressed and hid in the bathroom, fearing retaliation or even expulsion.

                One of the things Samantha liked about Mitt Romney’s candidacy was his stance on late-term abortion. This episode is just another example of the consistency of the the tolerant, inclusive, we-are-all-the-same liberal-progressive dogma. They try to abort anyone…or anything…or any idea…that gets in the way of their power and control. And they do it by flat-out lying about their political opponents, who they usually accuse (falsely) of actions and intentions and opinions that they themselves actually hold. These are  true fascists. Brutal, hypocritical, mindless thugs who hold themselves up to be superior ‘intellectuals’.

                Tragically, for various reasons that may be addressed in another posting, they have largely been successful in this mean-spirited , intolerant, non-inclusive suppression of thought, ideas, democracy and freedom. ("Tea-Baggers"). I wish I could call them the ‘one-percenters’, but truthfully I’d be mistaken. They may be three or four or five percent –or much more- of the population. Those that see no problem with forcing all union members to pay dues that go only to certain candidates…Democrats in virtually all cases, whether or not those union members agree with their positions or find them anathema! Those that see one or two media venues still open to political debate and want to shut them down and call the bill that would do that, “The Fairness Doctrine”.

                One of the primary reasons Richard Nixon was impeached was because he was thought to have used government entities such as the IRS to gain and keep  power. Obama? IRS? Oh what the hell, you can’t possibly be talking about impeachment you racist bastard! Apparently, no one wanting Nixon impeached was racist. (I am not a fan of the Nixon presidency. He governed in a very liberal, and consequently damaging, manner. And he was a bit scheming, thin-skinned and power hungry. The anti-Reagan. But so very like…Obama. One little difference though, he didn’t actually hate his country. Which was nice).

                But I digress. Back to Samantha and her shirt. Which, hopefully, her teachers haven’t torn off of her body in the past two years.

                If Mitt Romney is unacceptable to them, (a rather middle of the road, even liberalish Republican) perhaps Stalin or Trotsky would be more palatable. More to the point, this country was founded on freedom of speech. You might recall the first amendment. Liberals love to trot this one out when they want to make sure they can say any dirty word imaginable in print or on air. They don’t like it, however, when it’s used for what it explicitly was designed for…to protect political speech of all kinds…to foster ideas and thought.

                One other thing. Does anyone really believe that if Samantha had worn an Obama/Biden tee-shirt to this school that she would have been singled out,  taken to task, mocked and ridiculed?

       

Non-Viable Logic

            Many courts now bend over backwards to protect the ‘rights’ of alleged murderers. And , in some cases, convicted murderers. These same courts often bend over backwards, forwards and any other way one cares to name to protect ‘abortion rights’. (An inalienable right from God? Perhaps Jefferson, et. al., forgot to single this one out. They meant to protect life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness…and unfettered abortion. “Sorry, our bad”).

            It does seem a tad odd to this parochial, red-state mind that a 15 year old can walk into an abortion clinic, wearing, shall we say, a ‘peace’ belt buckle and butterfly tattoo… and not much else…and kill her kid…sorry, ‘non-viable tissue mass’ without breaking a law or even having to notify her parents’. (Say, ‘non-viable tissue mass’ is an interesting phrase given that every single human being that has ever lived was also a ‘non-viable tissue mass’ at that same point in their lives/gestation, etc. by their very definition. Yes, libs, every one who has ever lived has proved the stupidity and falseness of that heinous, callous, mean-spirited euphemism of yours. Billions and billions of times over).

            Yet, if that same girl were to light up a cigarette…the horror. She’d be mocked, chastised and rebuked, if not charged; her parents would be notified, and the business where she bought the cigs from might be fined, banned from selling all tobacco products for a month, perhaps exposed on t.v. and held up for general ridicule and contempt.

            Logic is not a strong suit of liberal dogma.

           

           

Smoke Alarm

                Who is one to believe in these troubled times? Who may be worthy of our support, our vote?

               If you aren’t very well informed, dislike the political arena, get upset that we all can’t agree on everything, yet get even more upset when your ‘soaps’ or sports are interrupted by the crucial everyday workings of democracy being reported, I ask you to consider this: the scoundrel factor.

                Simply put, it is hypocrisy that is the key here. The litmus test. If you will engage in or encourage/aid/abet behavior you profess to find appalling, damaging or evil to further your own gain, you are a scoundrel of the highest order. Not worthy of anything other than our deepest scorn- and possible incarceration- let alone election to the highest office in the land.

                For example, in the 2000 and 2004 elections, Democratic operatives roamed the streets of places such as Milwaukee and Madison Wisconsin (among the most closely contested of states),  St. Louis, Missouri and various other cities offering free cigarettes to those ‘willing’ to be bussed down to the polling booth(s) and vote for their candidates. This is simply a matter of  record. This from the people who detest smoking. The same folks who’ve made billions off of ‘Big Tobacco’. The same folks whose anti-tobacco lawyer friends helped keep them in office.

                Shameless.

                Did Republicans, those supposed friends of ‘Big Tobacco’, have people on those- or other- streets offering cigarettes to would-be voters? Or passing out Barbara Streisand concert tickets or free copies of Al Franken’s brilliantly titled tome, “Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot” to bribe people into voting for their candidates? No. And exposure to either of these, while certainly unpleasant and traumatic, probably won’t take years off of your life.

                Yet, this second-hand voting could be deadly.

                To our republic.

                Watch these Democratic Operatives- and their minions- pull out all the stops in 2014 and 2016.

               

    

Heterophobia?

                Obviously, there are homosexuals who can’t 'control' their behavior. Can’t will themselves to be something they are not. Destined by mother nature to be the way they are, how very tragic it would be to even try to change them. Indeed they should be championed. Only a fanatical, right-wing,  homophobic bigot could think otherwise.

                Of this I have no doubt. They should celebrate their ‘queerness.’

                Yet, if this is accepted, and why not, then by logical extension, equality of application, definition…there are certainly those males born- also through no fault of their own- on the other end of the spectrum…who simply can’t help but drop the odd sexist comment. No way they can stop ogling/fondling their secretaries breasts or butts. Or teasing the occasional gay guy.

                Yet this too, then, should be celebrated, not reviled, in a progressive, tolerant, equal, liberated, diverse, non-repressed society! The poor, oppressed hyper-male has no choice. Born this way, you see. Only the biased, bigoted, western Christian society could blame him, the real victim, for his actions. (Again, this is not a critique of gays. It is a plea for logic and honesty. And equilibrium).

               There are so many gender assignations/classifications now, it's impossible to keep track of them. So, I say, what about the male lesbian? Hmmmmmm? What possible chance does he have in our repressed, intolerant society?  Celebrate the He’sbians!

                “We’re fierce, we’re He’sbians, and we’re in your face!”

                Deal with it.

Evolution Revelation?

                 A scientist and author-  University of Georgia geneticist-  Eugene M. McCarthy has apparently proposed a hypothesis that humans evolved from a female chimpanzee and male pig mating. (This  has prompted some Twitter vegetarians to compare the eating of pigs to cannibalism). To me this sounds like it’s a bit, a gag, a put-on. Apparently it isn’t.

                So, it wasn’t just the ‘Big Bang’ that brought us here. There was the all-important ‘Pig Bang’ as well. Still…pig+chimp=human? Call me a skeptic (and many have), but I’m a little fuzzy on that ‘math’. Convenient for feminists and the ‘p.c.’ crowd that McCarthy’s somehow determined that the male is the ‘pig’! But then why would the female chimp let the male pig get away with this? I mean she’s got the bigger brain and opposable thumbs, can run on two or four feet/hands, and can use tools, right? Did she have a snout fetish? Like little curly tails?  Can science answer these important questions? It behooves us to figure out how they got to monkeying around in the first place and why she let that swine  pork her. Talk about ‘bringing home the bacon’!

             Forget about Adam and Eve, apparently we’re all indebted to ‘Wilbur’.

                I

P.E.T.A. Fundraiser for a New Abortion Clinic

                “Welcome all, and we’re so glad to have you here this evening! It’s going to be a special night, I’m sure. First off, I have wonderful news. We are making inroads into banning hunting in this country. Once that’s done, fishing will be next. And our ‘adopt a pet’ program had its most successful year ever last year…over a half-million pets were adopted around the country, pets who otherwise would have faced the possibility of being ‘put down.’ I ‘ve always hated that euphemism…let’s call it what it is! (applause). Yes, I know…thank you caring people! It’s thanks to you! If you’ll look up at the screen now, you’ll see a picture of adorable little ‘BoBo,’ the Scottish Terrier who was abandoned and had no advocate, no champion…excuse me, I…(breaks down)…can you imagine? But…but then someone came forward…to say, ‘I’ll take and love little BoBo as my own!’  (Wild applause).

                “Yes, right, a beautiful story and a happy ending. And Terry and BoBo are here in the audience with us tonight! Stand up, guys!” (Deafening applause and cheering, many in tears).

                “Thank you, Terry, thank you, audience. Hello BoBo. It’s going to be a magical night!

                “Well, now let’s talk about why we’ve all gathered here this evening. We want to help our Planned Parenthood friends in their fight against  the Republican War on Women! (Crazed applause and shouts of, 'Death to the Tea Baggers!').

                “Yes, the war against women’s reproductive rights. The brutal attack on a woman’s right to choose! The bold and insane attempt to brainwash folks into believing that there is no inherent right, granted by Mother Nature Herself,  to have other people pay for our birth-control!

                “Now, we all know that Republicans often try to stick up for the non-viable tissue masses. They go really crazy when we talk about late-term or ‘after-birth’ abortion. Yada, yada. Whatever. Really, I think they have a fetus fetish. But we know that they hate women.  We also know that intolerance, mean-spiritedness, insensitivity and illogic are their hallmarks. So please give all you can tonight to this great and good cause…the new Ground Zero Abortion Clinic!

             “Thank you… and enjoy the wonderful vegetarian meal and the ‘Vagina Monologues’ performance to follow!

                "And remember…’meat is murder’!"

               

               

               

             

               

Coming Soon To A Park Near You: New Historical Sites!

            Interior Secretary Sally Jewell announced recently that the National Park Service will begin installing markers at places of importance to the history of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Americans to mark their contributions to state and U.S. history.  I am curious to see what these historical markers will look like. What icons will be used? We’ve never done this for heterosexuals. (I’m pretty sure the Interior Department doesn’t have my bedroom on its list of historic sites. And, I must say, I’m not particularly offended).

                Are they going to use those brown metal roadside signs to direct us to these sites? “Historical Marker 1.2 mi. on left.” Perhaps we’ll get there and see an angled marble or granite slab depicting a blanket on the ground, a boombox and a picnic basket and stating, “At this site on May 26, 1979, Pat and Pat courageously advanced the struggle by making  out to light jazz music in full view of anyone who cared to look.”

                Jewell went on to state that the nation is ‘on a journey’ to expand civil rights to underrepresented groups. Like, say, conservatives?

                Remember:  this nations original journey, its founding journey, was to delineate and protect  individual rights. It seems the more the government strives to enhance the rights of certain groups, the more it distances itself from protecting the rights of the individual.

                And that is bad for all of us.