The NFL Goes Even Woker

 

National Football League owners recently approved a new mandate requiring every NFL team to hire one minority offensive assistant coach. The mandatory hire will be in effect for the upcoming 2022 season and can be a female or a member of an ethnic or racial minority.

A statement obtained by United Press International noted that each of the soon-to-be-hired coaches will receive a one-year contract and will “work closely with the head coach and offensive staff to gain experience.” Teams will reportedly be reimbursed for the female and/or minority coaching hires through a league-wide fund that will go toward their salaries.   

The goal of the new policy is to increase the number of minorities in the pool of offensive coaches, since they are typically the most sought-after head coaching candidates. This edict is, of course, part of the league's ever-increasing efforts to embrace and foster “diversity, equity and inclusion.”  

Which got me to thinking: will every NFL offense be required to have at least one woman or transgender on it? Every offensive line? Will every team soon be required to have at least one bisexual and Jewish person on its defensive coaching staff? A Mormon on its special teams? A Pisces in its marketing department? A minimum of two vegans and one Two-Spirited individual in its scouting department? Where does this end?

Actually, that was a rhetorical question. We all know where this ends. With an openly conservative coach getting disciplined or fired. And with a ban on the hiring of MAGA supporters, Trump voters, and DeSantis lovers. Because “diversity, equity and inclusion” only goes so far. It’s imperative when talking about things like sexual orientation or identity, but is utterly inapplicable and meaningless as regards to political orientation and independence of thought.

The NFL, like almost every other entity in America, has gone woke.

Putting the best and most competitive team on the field no longer takes priority. Neither does winning football games. What matters most is appeasing the small but vociferous woke mob.

 

 

MasterCard To Track Your Carbon Footprint?

 

Auto manufacturers, companies, and governments increasingly have the power to track our every movement or prevent us from driving our own vehicle. Supposedly democratic governments can lock us down or even freeze our bank accounts on a whim (see also, “Canada” and “Trudeau”). In this increasingly dystopian world, large multinational corporations are working hand-in-glove with said governments to reshape society in their preferred image, garden variety citizens be damned.

To that end, MasterCard and the United Nations have joined forces to produce a credit card that measures your carbon footprint. And, once you reach your “limit,” you can’t purchase anything else…at least with that card. Well, isn’t that special? What’s next? We may not want to know.

But perhaps I’m too cynical. What could be the downside?

Would it prevent the cardholder from purchasing, say, cigarettes? Put a cap on how much one could spend at a liquor store? If we were to try to order Glenn Beck's new book, “The Great Reset,” from barnesandnoble.com, would it generate a message like “Incorrect purchase, authorization not allowed?” If we wanted to use it to pay for our subscription to the New York Post, would a pop-up notice appear saying “Transaction disallowed, inappropriate material!”

I guess the consumer best read the fine print on the cardholder agreement: “This card not authorized for transactions at Chick-fil-A, Hobby Lobby, and certain other retailers…”

Knowingly or not, we are gradually ceding total and complete control over our actions and very lives. The powerful and elite already control the media, academia, and perhaps even our election process—if not the outcomes. They attempt to control our thoughts and emotions. They try to control our fear with crises—legitimate or contrived. They can dial it up or dial it down based on who's in office or what they wish us to believe.

And now they are working on developing “transmissible vaccines.” (That’ll show those of us who they dub vaccine “deniers.” Don’t wish to be injected with an experimental gene therapy? Too damn bad!) In the halcyon days of yore, “vaccines” were to prevent transmission, not promote it.

As recent events have shown, when it comes to controlling the little people, there's virtually nothing the government-corporate oligarchy cannot do…or will not attempt.

Brave new world? No. Depraved new world? Indeed.

And one increasingly devoid of free will.

 

 

Defining Characteristics

 

Defining Characteristics:

 

*Asshat: Imbecile, buffoon, blockhead, idiot, dunce, halfwit, dolt. See also Adam Schiff, Jerry Nadler, Eric Swalwell, Gavin Newsome, Justin Trudeau, AOC, etc.

*BLM: A group advocating for the rights of minorities by having its rank and file burn and loot the cities where minorities live, and the businesses they own, while its leaders purchase mansions in ritzy Los Angeles enclaves and toney Toronto neighborhoods.

*Climate change: Something the climate has always done and always will do, but that progressives use in an attempt to destroy capitalism and Western civilization.

*Democratic socialist: A political personage, excellent at being evil, that believes he/she/they should be able to tell everyone else how to live, while simultaneously doing the opposite and loudly and incessantly proclaiming their tolerance and inclusiveness. A remarkable creature, but one that needs to become extinct if others are to survive.

* Establishment Republican: That rarest of all creatures, a spineless vertebrate.

*Fairness: A term progressives use to describe a situation where they can do whatever they want, yet can tell others how they should act and live.

*Hate speech: Anything that does not fully support the woke Democratic narrative and agenda.

*Justice: A term progressives use to describe a situation where they can do whatever they want, yet can tell others how they should act and live.

*Misinformation: Anything that does not fully support the woke Democratic narrative and agenda.

*Open-minded: A term progressives use to describe those like themselves who are tolerant of any sloth, sin or perversion, yet militantly intolerant of those with more traditional views.

*Problematic: The term that woke Democrats use to describe anything that does not fully support the woke Democratic narrative and agenda.

*Tolerant: A term progressives like to use to describe themselves even as they go about attempting to censor or cancel anyone who disagrees with them.

*Woke: A term for those who typically sleep until noon, possess little or no accurate knowledge of forms of government, comparative religions, economics, or history-- but believe themselves to be the most enlightened, brilliant, and beatific people ever to trod the Earth. To paraphrase Barack Hussein Obama, “They are who they have been waiting for!”

 

California Abortion "Tourism"

 

California State Senators Nancy Skinner and Anna Caballero introduced Senate Bill 1142, which, if passed into law, will establish a public-private fund for the sole purpose of providing grant money to nonprofits to assist "low-income pregnant women" get "access to abortion services."

This bill has the explicit goal of attracting out-of-state women who seek abortion services which would subsequently establish California as a state friendly to abortion “tourism.” Which is an unfortunate term. And an ugly one.

“I’d like you all to look over here now. There’s the Hollywood Bowl! And this is Rodeo Drive! Over there is Grauman’s Chinese Theater…and there is a Planned Parenthood! And just two blocks over is Bob’s House O’ Abortion! Yay!! Let’s go have a look. We have tours planned of both of them!”

What’s next, Holocaust tourism?

 Is the California Office of Tourism going to use this? “Come to California, the Golden State, home of the stars, the land of milk and honey……and unfettered abortion!”

Perhaps visitcalifornia.com will trumpet the new bill’s affect if passed: “Experience a world of breathtaking beauty, heart-pounding adventure, world-renowned wine and culinary delights. Art, culture and attractions to amaze the whole family. And more abortion clinics than you can shake a stick at! In California, anything is possible, because we are an abortion sanctuary!”

Sadly, just one more reason to stay away.

Physical Fitness Equals White Supremacy?

 

Cynthia Miller-Idriss, an MSNBC Opinion Columnist, recently attempted to link physical fitness with Naziism and white supremacy. In a March 22^nd piece, she stated that “A network of online ‘fascist fitness’ chat groups on the encrypted platform Telegram are recruiting and radicalizing young men with neo-Nazi and white supremacist extremist ideologies.” She opined that these young men are “initially lured with health tips and strategies for positive physical changes,” but are “later invited to closed chat groups where far-right content is shared.”

Miller-Idriss also noted that “It appears the far right has taken advantage of pandemic at-home fitness trends” to expand its “radicalization of physical mixed martial arts (MMA) and combat sports spaces.” Yes, we all know how conservatives famously embraced the pandemic lockdowns. Perhaps they were secretly behind the push to keep people from leaving their abodes.

Then Miller-Idriss observed: “Physical fitness has always been central to the far right. In ‘Mein Kampf,’ Hitler fixated on boxing and jujitsu, believing they could help him create an army of millions whose aggressive spirit and impeccably trained bodies, combined with ‘fanatical love of the fatherland,’ would do more for the German nation than any ‘mediocre’ tactical weapons training.”

“Physical fitness has always been central to the ‘far right’?” Like who? Herman Göring? William F. Buckley, Jr.? Rush Limbaugh? Does she think the ancient Greeks and Romans were progenitors of Naziism? Actually, we can be sure Miller-Idriss thinks anyone to the starboard side of V.I. Lenin is “far right.”

But the illustrious and insightful MSNBC columnist wasn’t done yet. She bravely soldiered on, saying, “The intersection of extremism and fitness leans into a shared obsession with the male body, training, masculinity, testosterone, strength and competition.” You know it, sister! “Fitness,” “training,” “strength,” and “competition” are nothing but dog-whistles for a radical right-wing takeover of all that we hold dear!

I bet you, dear reader, didn’t know that the YMCA is actually a haven for aspiring Hitler Youth. Did you? Or that the President’s Council on Physical Fitness is naught but a redoubt of White Supremacy. Or that “gym” is not, in fact, just short for gymnasium…a German word…but also stands for “Gestapo Youth of ‘Merica.”  

In the face of this compelling—indeed overwhelming—evidence, I’m calling for the four major professional sports leagues in North America to ban all workouts, training, and practices…so as not to contribute to the advancement and outright worship of fitness fascism in America.

This means you, LeBron James. And you, Patrick Mahomes. And you, Shohei Ohtani. And you, P.K. Subban. Stop exercising and start being more woke! Better yet, grow a vagina…or a pot belly! So we’d know we can trust you.

The Theater of the Absurd that passes for our modern society deems all striving for excellence, whether intellectual, vocational or physical, as simply a nod to-- or feature of-- a white, male Christian patriarchy. The desire for fitness, you see, in the eyes of leftists, can only be part and parcel of a vast, right-wing conspiracy to return us all to the halcyon days of the Third Reich.

 

 

 

Russia Disqualified From The European Tree Of The Year Contest

 

In light of Russia’s aggression against Ukraine, many in America—and around the world—are boycotting Russian products. Bars are refusing to serve Russian vodka, for example. Some of the reaction, however, has been silly. What possible good could come from banning books by classic Russian authors like Tolstoy or Chekhov? Or from cancelling composers like Tchaikovsky, Rachmaninoff, or Stravinsky, all of whom died long before Putin came to power?

Even sillier, recently a group in Brussels arbitrarily disqualified Russia’s candidate for the European Tree of the Year competition, an oak tree said to have been planted 198 years ago by renowned Russian novelist Ivan Turgenev. The ETY competition got its start in 2011…as a way to celebrate the histories of old trees and develop bonds between nations. After all, what could be less political and more neutral than a tree?

At an awards ceremony in Brussels on March 22nd, the organizers announced that this year’s ETY winner was Poland, for a 400-year-old oak tree that organizers said had become a symbol of Polish resistance to aggression-- and its warm welcome to refugees from Ukraine. Well, that’s not very neutral.

The organizers of the competition released a statement saying, “We cannot stand idly by and watch the unprecedented aggression of the Russian leadership against a neighboring country.”

So they didn’t. They went nuclear. Forget sanctions. And banning the purchase of oil and gas from the world’s largest country pales in comparison to this. This is devastating. This is a statement. Kicking Russia out of this year’s European Tree of the Year competition hits Putin right where it hurts!

Ketanji Brown Jackson Can't Say What A Woman Is

 

Supreme Court nominee Ketanji Brown Jackson could not define the word “woman” while under questioning recently from Sen. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN). This led Blackburn to quote the late Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s majority opinion in U.S. v. Virginia: “Supposed inherent differences are no longer accepted as a ground for race or national origin classifications. Physical differences, between men and women, however, are enduring. The two sexes are not fungible. A community made up exclusively of one sex is different from a community composed of both.” After reciting this, Blackburn asked Jackson, “Do you agree with Justice Ginsburg that there are physical differences between men and women that are enduring?”

Jackson-- clearly struggling with this eternal puzzler-- replied: “Um, senator, respectfully, I am not familiar with that particular quote or case, so it’s hard for me to comment.”

Blackburn than asked Jackson, “Can you provide a definition for the word ‘woman?'”

To which Jackson responded, “Can I provide a definition? No. I can’t.”

Blackburn: “You can’t?”

Jackson: “Not in this context. I’m not a biologist.”

This is as if Jackson was asked if she could provide a definition for the word “tractor” and answered: “No. I’m not a farmer.” Or if she was queried, “Can you give us a definition for the word ‘pants’” and replied: “No. I’m not in the apparel industry.”

Worse, actually, because Jackson is a woman.  Which, as President Biden himself stated, is one of the two main reasons why she was nominated.

In the interest of comity and clarity, I hereby offer several clues that you are likely a woman:

*You possess breasts and a vagina

*You urinate while sitting down

*You have given birth

*You like to shop at Target

*You watch the Hallmark Channel frequently

*You have been hit on by Bill Clinton

*You know the difference between ecru and beige

*You often use the term “patriarchy”

Just kidding about a couple of those, ladies. But, seriously, as I’ve often stated, if we get to the point where we can no longer determine what a man or a woman is, we are not long for this world.

Rather than face a conclusion, we should return to Genesis: “Male and female He created them.”

That we can no longer recognize this first-- and most basic-- of all facts, does not render it less true.

 

 

 

Convicted "Toronto 18" Terrorist To Become Canadian Lawyer

 

In 2006, Saad Gaya-- and more than a dozen other radical Islamists— planned to detonate bombs throughout Toronto, Canada’s largest city. Blessedly, the plot was foiled in a national security operation. Gaya was arrested while unloading what he believed to be ammonium nitrate for making truck bombs. The al-Qaeda-inspired plot was purportedly to target the Toronto Stock Exchange, the Parliament of Canada, Canada’s spy agency, and a military base, among other venues. Gaya and his accomplices planned to take political hostages. And behead various Canadian leaders including the Prime Minister.

In 2009, Gaya pleaded guilty to the commission of an offense for a terrorist group. He was sentenced to serve 18 years in prison. However, he was released on parole after only 10 years, finishing his sentence in 2020. Not bad for a guy that was involved with a plot to blow up bombs all over a city of 6.2 million souls……and decapitate its leaders.

And today? The Law Society of Ontario has decided to allow the convicted terrorist to become a licensed lawyer! You read that right. How could this happen, a sane person might ask? Well, the Law Society’s Tribunal decided he was “presently of good character,” finding him eligible to become a lawyer based on its assessment of his remorse and conduct since his “offense.” The Tribunal stated, “Clients, and our society as a whole, will benefit from Mr. Gaya becoming a lawyer.” Well, I guess it’s preferrable to him blowing up Toronto and beheading Canadian leaders.

Ironically, Gaya embarked on his legal career shortly after leaving prison, and recently graduated from Osgoode Hall Law School at York University. He is currently listed as an “articling student” with the firm St. Lawrence Barristers LLP. (Articling is a professional rite of passage for junior lawyers, a job akin to a practicum position. It's an opportunity for them to hone their skills before starting practice.)

Gaya is obviously a great guy who only briefly—and in his youth, mind you—flirted with blowing places up and beheading people. I mean, give him a break, it’s not like he walked through the Capitol Building or something.

Or misgendered someone. There oughta be a law!

For the good of society, let’s hope he doesn’t bomb as a lawyer.

 

Hillary Clinton Contracts COVID, Asks For Movie Recommendations-- Hilarity Ensues

 

Fully vaccinated and boosted Hillary Rodham Clinton recently tested positive for COVID-19. She joins other fully vaccinated and boosted Democratic luminaries such as Barack Hussein Obama and Jen Psaki in contracting the coronavirus.

The former First Lady took to Twitter to tell us: "Well, I've tested positive for COVID. I've got some mild cold symptoms but am feeling fine. I'm more grateful than ever for the protection vaccines can provide against serious illness. Please get vaccinated and boosted if you haven't already!”

In the old days, vaccines prevented one from contracting diseases. You know, like smallpox, mumps, and polio, for example. No one said, “I’m more grateful than ever that the smallpox/mumps/polio I’ve contracted hasn’t led to serious illness.” But I digress.

The two-time loser added, “Bill tested negative and is feeling fine. He's quarantining until our household is fully in the clear. Movie recommendations appreciated!" Two observations here: First, Bill has probably been “quarantined” to the Clinton’s basement couch since the Lewinsky scandal. And second, Hillary exposed herself to much ridicule in asking for “movie recommendations.”

As was evidenced by the person who suggested she watch “13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi.” Or the ones who thought she might enjoy “Jeffrey Epstein: Filthy Rich,” “Impeachment: American Crime Story,” or “Liar Liar” with Jim Carrey.

I would suggest Madame Pantsuit watch 1980’s “Hussy” with Dame Helen Mirren. I would also offer up “Black Hawk Down” for her viewing pleasure. 2012’s “Rape” or 1987’s “White Water Summer” with Kevin Bacon would be appropriate, too. Bonus: Hillary might then be inspired to play a modified version of “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon,” a game in which you try to find the shortest path between a given actor and Kevin Bacon, and in which connections can only be made between actors who have appeared together in a movie. In this version, “Six Degrees of Bill Clinton,” Hillary could try to find the shortest path between any actress—or female in general-- and her dearly beloved horndog hubby, and in which connections can only be made between those who have appeared together between the sheets. What fun!

New York Times Sort Of Defends Free Speech

 

The New York Times editorial board recently published a lengthy essay declaring that there is a "crisis of confidence" regarding free speech in America. In the editorial, the board lamented the fact that Americans "are losing hold of a fundamental right as citizens of a free country: the right to speak their minds and voice their opinions in public without fear of being shamed or shunned."

The essay stated, "The political left and the right are caught in a destructive loop of condemnation and recrimination around 'cancel culture,’” and was, preposterously, harder on the right than the left.

No matter, Times readers were aghast. The paper’s left-wing audience called the editorial "appalling” and castigated the paper for even comparing transgressions of the left and right. As if, right? A reader from Baltimore said, “You are creating a false equivalency between private citizens' opposition to willful disinformation and points of view they find objectionable, and the recent Republican craze for using the levers of government to stifle discussion of particular topics."

This is, of course, is 180 degrees opposite of reality. It is preposterous projection. It is Democrats that control the levers of government, who wield the power, and use it to stifle discussion. Their sycophants in the mainstream media and Big Tech literally stifle conservative expression and thought on a daily basis, banning them from their platforms, hiding, shadow-banning and demonetizing their websites. (Like this one, for instance.) Democrats and progressives in government have recently locked people down, deemed their jobs inessential, and forced them to accept experimental gene therapies into their bodies or accept the consequences—including fines, frozen bank accounts, and imprisonment.

The left hates free speech. Always has. This is a simple historical fact. Its ideology has failed everywhere it has ever been tried. It has brought nothing but misery and death to billions of people. This is why leftists will never participate in a civilized debate. This is why they must revise, alter, erase, or abolish history.

“Crisis of confidence” surrounding free speech in America? No doubt. Who’s responsible?

Try tweeting: “The 2020 election was riddled by fraud.” Or, “Some studies have shown that Ivermectin may help alleviate COVID-19 symptoms.”  Or “The science isn’t settled.” Or, “Aaron Rodgers and Tom Brady are great guys.” See where that gets you. Might be a clue.