Sunday, March 27, 2022

Hillary Clinton Contracts COVID, Asks For Movie Recommendations-- Hilarity Ensues


Fully vaccinated and boosted Hillary Rodham Clinton recently tested positive for COVID-19. She joins other fully vaccinated and boosted Democratic luminaries such as Barack Hussein Obama and Jen Psaki in contracting the coronavirus.

The former First Lady took to Twitter to tell us: "Well, I've tested positive for COVID. I've got some mild cold symptoms but am feeling fine. I'm more grateful than ever for the protection vaccines can provide against serious illness. Please get vaccinated and boosted if you haven't already!”

In the old days, vaccines prevented one from contracting diseases. You know, like smallpox, mumps, and polio, for example. No one said, “I’m more grateful than ever that the smallpox/mumps/polio I’ve contracted hasn’t led to serious illness.” But I digress.

The two-time loser added, “Bill tested negative and is feeling fine. He's quarantining until our household is fully in the clear. Movie recommendations appreciated!" Two observations here: First, Bill has probably been “quarantined” to the Clinton’s basement couch since the Lewinsky scandal. And second, Hillary exposed herself to much ridicule in asking for “movie recommendations.”

As was evidenced by the person who suggested she watch “13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi.” Or the ones who thought she might enjoy “Jeffrey Epstein: Filthy Rich,” “Impeachment: American Crime Story,” or “Liar Liar” with Jim Carrey.

I would suggest Madame Pantsuit watch 1980’s “Hussy” with Dame Helen Mirren. I would also offer up “Black Hawk Down” for her viewing pleasure. 2012’s “Rape” or 1987’s “White Water Summer” with Kevin Bacon would be appropriate, too. Bonus: Hillary might then be inspired to play a modified version of “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon,” a game in which you try to find the shortest path between a given actor and Kevin Bacon, and in which connections can only be made between actors who have appeared together in a movie. In this version, “Six Degrees of Bill Clinton,” Hillary could try to find the shortest path between any actress—or female in general-- and her dearly beloved horndog hubby, and in which connections can only be made between those who have appeared together between the sheets. What fun!

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