Dr. Anthony Fauci, who recently violated Washington, D.C.’s,
mask mandate by going mask-less during the Nationals’ season opener, has now
suggested that Americans wear goggles or face
shields for extra protection against COVID-19. Fauci did wear a mask while making
the ceremonial first pitch, which fell far short (and about 45 degrees to the
left) of its target. However, when he assumed the camera wasn’t on him, his
wife and his friend as they sat in the stands during the game, he either wore
the mask incorrectly or eschewed it altogether.
The esteemed health expert—and septuagenarian sex symbol-- told ABC
News Chief* Medical Correspondent Dr. Jennifer Ashton: “You have mucosa in the nose,
mucosa in the mouth, but you also have mucosa in the eye. Theoretically, you
should protect all the mucosal surfaces. So, if you have goggles or an eye
shield you should use it.”
Dr. Fauci emphasized, “Gloves, earplugs,
nose-plugs, condoms, hijabs, yarmulkes, dental dams, full hazmat suits, giant
inflatable bubble balls…everything you have available, really, should be employed
to keep you from coming in contact with the disease.”
He added, “I’d also like to see
everyone wear humorous cummerbunds, stand on one leg, and continuously recite
‘Fauci is the man!’”
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*”Chief” is now on the List of Problematic Words and should be avoided
at all costs. ABC News has, apparently, not yet received the memo regarding
this.
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