October 7, 2019
News Services
(New York City)-- President Trump’s 2016 campaign slogan was
“Make America Great Again.” “MAGA” caps (and merchandise) have long-since been
deemed controversial—or worse—by many progressives, who see them as
barely-disguised dog-whistles for misogynists and white-supremacists.
The
“MAGA” acronym has become so toxic in the eyes of the particularly politically
correct that certain magazines are now rebranding themselves as simply “zines,”
or almanacs, compendiums, and the like. There are webzines, e-zines, and even
“paper-zines,” but fewer and fewer magazines. Time was the first publication to
eschew the “magazine” designation.
A spokesperson for the publication
formerly known as Time Magazine said, on the condition of anonymity, “we just
felt that the time was right to jettison the first four letters of the second
word of our publication’s erstwhile name. We are leaving ‘Time Magazine’ in the
past—where it belongs—and introducing ‘Time Zine.’ The spokesperson added, “The
first half of ‘magazine’ had become problematic at best, offensive and
abusive at worst, so we decided to shit-can it. Plus, state legislators have
introduced a bill mandating the removal of ‘maga’ from the covers of all magazines
zines manufactured and/or sold here.
It was, simply put, Time we ‘woke’ up, so to speak.”
Since Time’s proclamation, Newsweek,
The New Yorker, Mother Jones, The Nation, Vox,
The Atlantic, Wired, Vox and Foreign Affairs have all
pledged to liberate themselves from the “maga” albatross around their
publication’s figurative necks.
Several candidates for the 2020
Democratic presidential nomination applauded Time’s bold, progressive
leadership. Elizabeth Warren, now the presumptive front-runner, told reporters:
“’MAGA,’ in any form, has no place in today’s world. It speaks of the
patriarchy, the Klu Klux Klan, and evangelical Christianity. It fairly reeks of
misogyny, homophobia and trans hatred. I’m so glad Time showed us all
the way forward.”
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