Frode Hult of the Norwegian Water and Sewer Agency in Oslo recently appeared on the Norwegian State Television network NRK, bemoaning the fact that Norway uses more water than neighboring Denmark. This was, apparently, terribly difficult for Ms. Hult to accept, and prompted her to tell her fellow Norwegians: “Do not run the water when you brush your teeth, only wash with filled washing machines, only buy washing machines that don’t use so much water, use a pot when you are watering plants in your garden. And pee in the shower in the morning.” The host of the show said of her remarks, “Pee in the shower? You do know that many people will choke when they hear you say that?” To which Hult replied, “Yes, but it is a great idea. We can also brush our teeth in the shower. It is very good for the environment.”
Call me a skeptic, but, if we perform all these other functions in the shower, will we not have to stay in the shower longer, thereby using more water? Perhaps we could wash our hair while brushing our teeth and peeing? Is that possible? Or we could wear our dirty clothes in the shower and wash them at the same time! Genius, no? Moreover, if we would also bring our dirty dishes and silverware into the shower with us, we could all get rid of our dishwashers.
It is obvious that, to be good stewards of the environment, we need to go back to the days when we utilized 2-hole outhouses and washed our clothes in the river. Alternately, we could all drop trou and poop on our gardens. Also, when a woman’s water breaks immediately before she gives birth, we could collect it in pots and pans and dump that, too, on our gardens. And, instead of “throwing the baby out with the bathwater,” we should just throw the baby out and keep the bathwater, to be reused again and again! Right, libs?