Thursday, October 24, 2019

Kellogg's Introduces Pro-Gay Cereal Variety Pack

                 Kellogg’s, the Battle Creek, Michigan, food manufacturer, recently announced it is introducing a limited-edition variety pack of its popular breakfast cereals called “All Together Cereal” in support of the pro-LGBTQ lobbying group GLAAD. The All Together pack will feature some of the company’s most popular brands, including Froot Loops, Frosted Flakes, Corn Flakes, Rice Krispies, Frosted Mini Wheats and Raisin Bran. All of the mascots for each brand will appear together on each box. Can’t you feel the inclusiveness? Kellogg’s says the packaging is a “symbol of acceptance no matter how you look, where you’re from or who you love.” In addition, the company is donating $50,000 to GLAAD “to support their anti-bullying and LGBTQ advocacy work.”
    Kellogg’s has previously received various awards for “diversity” and “inclusion,” though its main competitor, Twin Cities based General Mills, is equally woke, having received the approval of several LGBTQ activist groups, including the “Human Rights Campaign.”
                Look for Kellogg’s—and General Mills—to introduce more inclusive cereals in the near future. I expect to see Kellogg’s introduce “Even Fruitier Loops ;),” “Raisin Cane Bran,” and “Porn Flakes” by the end of the 2020, while General Mills is rumored to be close to releasing “Flex,” “Totally Gay,” and “Queerios.” Moreover, Kellogg’s is said to be working on a cereal box saluting the polyamorous community, on which Tony the Tiger, Toucan Sam, and Snap, Crackle and Pop are artfully and sensitively portrayed engaged in an orgy.
                Because, after all, no matter how you look, where you’re from, or who you love, we must accept you. (Unless you are President Trump or one of his supporters. Or a conservative Christian. Or a Republican. Or believe marriage is meant to be between one man and one woman. Or are against abortion. Or are for the Constitution and/or the Bill of Rights. Then you are sick and should die). 

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