PETA Sends Live Traps To White House

                A mouse recently fell from the ceiling of the White House Press Room onto a reporter’s lap, prompting People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) to send a “humane mousetrap” to the Capitol Building. PETA’s president, Ingrid Newkirk, said in a statement: “The White House is this mouse’s house, too, but we’d rather that she be evicted than eviscerated, so we’re providing a humane trap that allows her to be put outdoors safely. Effective rodent-control measures are those that keep smart, gentle mice out of glue traps and reporters’ laps without harming them.”

   “The White House is this mouse’s house, too?” Quite. “She” has just as much right to it as the duly elected President of the United States, right PETA? Same for cockroaches, millipedes and silverfish, I suppose? “Smart” and “gentle” creatures all, I’m sure. Unlike reporters.

               PETA apparently also sent the White House a copy of a tip sheet called “Living in Harmony with House Mice and Rats.” She noted that PETA is “willing to provide many more humane traps, if needed.”

              There are a great many rats in the Press Room, most of them human.

  I’m sure Trump would love to trap and evict these “journalists” and “reporters,” but he would need much bigger traps than PETA is sending him.

              And, speaking of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, where are the organizations called “People for the Ethical Treatment of Republicans,” or PETR? “People for the Ethical Treatment of Conservatives,” or PETC? “People for the Ethical Treatment of Straight White Christian Males,” or PETSWCM?

  And how about “People for the Ethical Treatment of ‘Fetuses,’” or PETF?