Robert Mueller. U.S. Special Counsel. Autocrat. Trump-chaser. The man who would be king. Quiet tyrant. All powerful. Able to investigate anyone, anytime, for any reason. Or no reason. Unelected titan of interrogation. Granted unchecked and unlimited powers. Imperious. Despotic. Czar of Czars.
Ever met someone named Trump? Prepare to be called in. Play the trumpet? Prepare for the inquest, you’re up next. Ever been to Russia? The Ukraine? Any nation that used to be a member of the Eastern-Bloc? Get ready to be grilled. Ever read anything by Steve Rushin? You’d better have an explanation. Drank a White Russian? Consider fleeing the country while you still can. Recognize the name Manafort? Ever manned a fort? The witch hunt is coming your way. Own a piece of apparel from Ivanka Trump’s line of fashion goods? Your subpoena is served. Do you know the name of the city in which Trump Tower is located? Your home may be ransacked just before dawn and your electronic devices confiscated. Did business with one of Trump’s companies a decade ago? It’s scrutiny in the third degree for you. Hope you like being aggressively cross-examined. Stayed at Trump Plaza one night in 2011? Mueller and crew will put the screws to you. Uttered the word “trump” while playing bridge? Your phones are bugged.
The 1999 rule establishing the position of Special Counsel states that a Special Counsel should have a reputation for integrity and “impartial decision making.” Yet, Herr Mueller’s team is comprised of more Democrats than typically tune in to MSNBC during prime time. Mueller’s probe was supposed to be about possible administration collusion with Russia. It has expanded to encompass everything from possible campaign fraud to illicit jaywalking. It is unconstitutional, unamerican, out-of-control…and now vaguely frightening. If it goes on much longer without finding any evidence of wrongdoing in the matter it was originally tasked to investigate, it will make Vladimir Putin blush. “Now I am become tyranny, destroyer of democratic republics.”
There is a classic line from a Monty Python episode that resonates here: “NO-body expects the Spanish Inquisition.” The Spanish Inquisition, for those of you unaware, saw around 150,000 people prosecuted for various offenses, and occurred over roughly three centuries.
Mueller and his team have something to shoot for.
There, but for the grace of God, goes God.
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