Tuesday, June 5, 2018

Bernie Sanders Goes South

                In an effort to attract African-American voters for a likely 2020 presidential run, Bernie Sanders recently made a 14-hour long swing through the South, even marching in Memphis with Al Sharpton on the 50th anniversary of the Rev. Martin Luther King JR.’s assassination. The Whitest One also spoke before a crowd at an economic justice forum in Jackson, Mississippi, under the projected words of Dr. King stating: “True compassion is more than flipping a coin to a beggar; it comes to see that an edifice which produces beggars needs restructuring.”  He finished the day’s attempt to burnish his non-stellar reputation among African-Americans by devouring a plate of wings during a late-night dinner with Chokwe Antar Lumumba, the city’s new mayor.
                After observing a comically bad online headline about his efforts that read, “Bernie Wooing Blacks,” I decided to pen a song in his honor. Well, actually, I rewrote a song in his honor.

                Bernie and the Blacks

                Hey blacks, how ya’ like my sweater?
                The spotlight’s hitting something
                That’s been around forever
                We’ll kill all those fat cats tonight
                So stick around
                You’re gonna hear some old-time music
                Folk songs will abound

                Hey, Maxine and Sharpton, have you seen them yet?
                But they’re so spaced out, B_B_B_Bernie and the blacks!
                Oh, but their weird and they’re wonderful
                And on Bernie oh so keen
                Al’s got eclectic shoes, a baggy suit
                You know I saw him in a limousine, oh
                B_B_B_Bernie and the blacks!

                Hey kids, can’t you see I’m ageless?
                Maybe they’re blinded
                Or maybe they’re just shameless
                We shall overcome, let us take ourselves along
                And go fight the system out in the streets
                Tell them all this is our song:

                “Hey Bernie (Bernie)
                Oh Bernie (Bernie, Bernie and the blacks)
                Oh, you look so good on that stage, baby, yeah
                Ey, Bernie, oh Bernie, yeah Bernie, Bernie
                Bernie and the blacks baby!
                Oh my Godlessness, ooh, yeah
                Bernie, Bernie, Bernie, Bernie, Bernie and the blacks!! Yeah!!”

                (Sing to the beat/rhythm of Elton John’s Benny and the Jets)

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