Burger King Restaurant Suffers Rodent Infestation

                The Delaware Health and Social Services department has temporarily shut down a Burger King restaurant in Wilmington due to a rodent infestation, according to CBS Philly. DHSS officials launched an investigation after a video showed mice running around in bags of buns at the Concord Pike outlet. They later issued a Cease and Desist letter due to “gross unsanitary conditions.” Inspector’s observed mouse droppings on and inside hamburger rolls and chicken sandwich rolls. Their report also states that “Mouse droppings were observed on the floor near the ice machine, water heater, under storage, near syrup soda boxes and behind fryers.” The DHSS termed the situation an “imminent health hazard.”

                Burger King is conducting its own investigation and issued a statement to CBS Philly reading in part: “We have already contacted the franchisee, who independently owns and operates the location, to investigate this matter and ensure they take the appropriate measures. We can confirm that the Restaurant is temporarily closed and will reopen once this issue is addressed.”

                Anonymous sources say that the restaurant, in order to kill two birds with one stone, has substantially revised its menu. These sources claim, upon reopening, the outlet will offer a “Rodent King™” sandwich, mouseburger, mouseburger with cheese, “Crispy Vermin™” sandwich, a “Voleuminous Burrito™,” “Shrew Nuggets™” (they taste like chicken!), mouse potatoes or fries, and a salad with house mouse dressing. Moreover, in addition to the famous “Whopper®,” the store will offer a “Hopper®” sandwich.

                How could such a “gross” violation of health standards occur in this day and age? “When the King’s away, the mice will play,” I guess. And, if my television screen didn’t lie, the King was attending the Belmont Stakes in New York this weekend. Justify that!

                I confess, I have long been a bit suspicious of Burger King, in part because of its advertising. Here is a short list of the company’s marketing slogans over the past few decades:

                *”Have it your way.”

                *”Home of the Whopper!”

                *”It takes two hands to handle the Whopper!”

                *“Wake up with the King.”

                *”Eat like a man, man.”

                *”When you have it your way, it just tastes better.”

                *”Feel the fire!”

                *”Burger King, where you’re the boss!”

                *”We do it like you’d do it!”

               

                These always made me wonder whether I’d be going to a fast food joint or a gay bathhouse.

                Oh well. You know what they say about the best laid plans of mice and men.