Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Coming Soon: A Day Without Women

                They’re back.

                The organizers of last month’s hugely successful “Women’s March on Washington” recently announced- via an Instagram post- that they will be conducting a “general strike” on March 8th, “International Women’s Day.” This festive event will cleverly be called, “A Day Without A Woman.”
                I feel bad for men. Already a minority, they are left out of everything. They don’t have anything analogous to “The Vagina Monologues” (which, incidentally, will now even be performed at the Plymouth Congregational Church of the United Church of Christ in New Hampshire on February 24th).  
                In the spirit of inclusiveness, I suggest men stage “A Day Without Men,” maybe on International Men’s Day. Oh yeah, there isn’t one. Perhaps men should stage a general strike on Veteran’s Day. They might as well walk out on the day commemorating the hundreds of thousands of American men who’ve died to protect our freedom…to march in protest. This could be yuuge! We could get every man, whether he is a soldier, surgeon, gynecologist, veterinarian, ambulance driver, janitor, policeman, fireman, park ranger, pastor- or just a husband and father- to walk off the job and march down to their local government seat wearing blue “c—k” or “rooster”  hats. How would that work out for everybody? Let’s think big and make it “A Week Without Men.” Feminists should love that.
                Group-think and identity politics run amok have fractured America’s foundation. This fracking of our soul is a deliberate attempt to extract ever more resentment and entitlement and is an existential danger- clear and present- to the very existence of this nation.
                What’s next, a day without Transgenders? A day without Jews? A day without 53-year-old mulatto transvestite play-writes? Hell, let’s have “A Day Without Everybody.” We could all take to the streets in an orgy of inanity.
                What I’d really like to see is “A Day Without Abortion” or “A Day Without Spoiled, Entitled, Morons Proudly Making Asses Of Themselves In Public.” But, given our present state, that is too much for which to ask. How about just “A Day Without Nancy Pelosi?”
                Actually, I’d settle for the recognition that, without either men or women, there wouldn’t be any men or women. In a sane world we could all agree on that, stop the protesting and posturing, and celebrate together.

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