Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Yes, California!

                The group “Yes California” is attempting to collect the 585,407 signatures necessary to put the question of the state’s seceding from the union on the ballot in 2018. In a recent article from the Washington Post, Tim Vollmer, an academic consultant (there’s a shock) from San Francisco (there’s a shock), was quoted as saying, “Basically, what we’re witnessing is the birth of a nation. We can lead what’s left of the free world.” The states’ latest threat to secede stems, of course, from the election of Donald Trump.
                California has nearly 40 million residents, making it the most populous state in the union, yet, for some reason, doesn’t believe it gets a fair say in presidential elections, even though it has more representatives in the House than any other state, and carefully crafts a leftist message through its Hollywood movies and adult entertainers, a cinematic bully-pulpit no other state possesses. It certainly sports more whiny, wealthy, hypocritical, sniveling, faux-people with media access than any other state in the republic.
                The Washington Post reports that “Yes California primarily advertises through its Facebook page, which has about 39,000 likes and about the same number of followers.” What the hell? The state has 40 million residents and Yes California didn’t think to ask them to “like” their own page? I mean, the page should have at least as many likes as signatures on the petition to allow a vote on secession, right?
                The group is already working on a Pledge of Allegiance to the potentially new nation. I offer my assistance in this matter now, gratis:
                “Dude, like I pledge allegiance, to the freak flag, of an independent- and righteous- California, and to the illegal immigrants, for which it stands, one dumb nation, under Gaia, with puberty…and weed… for all.”
                Yes California is currently debating how the state should address military matters and from whence it should get its water. (They may decide to be neutral, ala’ Switzerland). The group started collecting signatures this past January and has six months to achieve its goal. Will they accept signatures from those of us in the rest of the fruited plain? After all, they are welcoming to illegal immigrants, and give them driver’s licenses and let them vote. Most of us in the Heartland would gladly sign–off on their petition to secede. I would doggedly apply my “John Hancock”- or variations thereof- until my hand eventually fell from my body in a tortured yet blissful withdrawal from my person.
                The secessionists liken their cause to the legalization of marijuana and same-sex marriage, things that seemed impossible only a decade ago, but are now the law-of-the-Land of Milk and Honey. They claim the group’s goal is to first have the state secede and then figure out how it should run. That seems wise. Ready-fire!-aim.

                Make America Great Again! Let California secede from the union!

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