Sunday, February 5, 2017

Burger King Drive-Through Gone To Pot

                 Police in Epping, New Hampshire arrested two employees at a local Burger King recently, after verifying that they were utilizing the restaurant’s drive-through to sell marijuana. After obtaining significant evidence of the drug-selling, they conducted a sting operation along with the local sheriff’s department and the county attorney, which substantiated the claims and culminated in the arrest of a male employee and his female shift supervisor.
                Apparently, buyers would pull up to the first drive-through window and ask for “Nasty Boy.” If he was working, the potheads would have to ask for their fries to be “extra crispy” in order to receive their weed. Then money and dope would be exchanged at the second drive-through window, with the pot in a separate container from any food that may have been purchased.
                Police said they had heard rumors that employees were selling illicit drugs through “some” fast food restaurants, but that none of them could be substantiated until now. Officers also stated that the operation was restricted to the two employees arrested and didn’t involve the franchise owners. The two (assumedly) former employees were released on personal recognizance and will be arraigned February 28th.
                I would love to have been privy to some of the drive-through conversations between Nasty Boy and his clientele:
                Nasty Boy: “Welcome to Burger King, Mo-Fos, what would you like?”
                Clients (in low-rider car): “Like, we are so hungry for some fries, dude. But, like, make ‘em extra crispy if you know what I mean! We want to be that crispy soon, too, NB!”
                Nasty Boy: “Have it your way, dudes. It’ll take two hands to handle this whopper! I’ve got you covered, homey. Extra crispy with a little herb it is! Please pull ahead.”
                Druggies: “Like, can we just stay here, ‘cuz were gonna need some serious snackage soon, my man?”
                Perhaps pot culture is more endemic at Burger King than we know. Could help explain BK’s  trippy and irritating “Croissan’wich” commercials.


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