My Predictions for the Next Biennium:
*December 5: Last mail-in ballots counted for 2022 mid-term
elections, nearly four weeks after “Election Day.”
*December 5: FOX
10 Phoenix calls the Georgia run-off election for Raphael Warnock.
*December 6: Georgia run-off election between Herschel
Walker (R) and Raphael Warnock (D) begins.
*December 14: Kamala Harris visits Wayne Corporation
manufacturing site, sings “The
Wheels on the Bus” song to executives.
*December 25: President Joe Biden wishes Americans a “very
merry…um, you know, the thing,” and adds, “don’t let your kids eat all the
chocolate bunnies at once!”
*January 3, 2023: Republicans accidentally install Alaska’s Lisa
Murkowski as Speaker of the House.
*February 2: New York Mayor Eric Adams drops “Staten Island
Chuck” during Ground Hog’s Day ceremony, killing him instantly. Adams blames” systemic
racism” for the incident. Al Gore says climate change to blame. Other Democrats
claim it was Trump’s fault.
*February 6-10: Democrats in the Senate debate a new proposal
to counteract global warming and “save our planet” while record-breaking cold
temperatures paralyze much of the nation, causing hundreds of deaths.
*March 17: President Biden urges all Americans to celebrate
“Cinco de Mayo” responsibly.
*May 9: Project Veritas video released proving “alphabet
agencies” headed by Satan worshippers.
*May 23: Conservative media release correspondence and video
proving that Joe Biden paid for Hunter’s hookers and drugs with money “The Big
Guy” obtained from Chinese communists.
*May 24: The New York Times, Washington Post, and MSNBC
denounce the reports, calling them “Russian disinformation.”
*July 4: President Biden encourages “all, um, uh,
immigrants” to enjoy “the, uh, Armistice Day.”
*October 18: The Federal Reserve announces that the adjusted
annual rate of Inflation for September was 20.2%.
*November 16: Reports indicate that murders were up 49% over
last year, burglaries up 742% for same time period.
*December 1: Democratic Senate passes bill that, if enacted,
would ban all forms of Christian worship as “apostacy.”
*January 1, 2024: President Biden wishes “everyone in the
world, except, you know, the Russkies, a Happy Labor Day.”
*February 22: President Biden, after conferring with the CDC
and assorted medical “experts,” announces that a new coronavirus has emerged
from a “wet market out east,” and orders a two-month lockdown to “fatten…I mean
flatten…the curve.” No one will be allowed to travel and all non-essential
businesses will be shut down. Some wags have started calling the illness the
“Boston Flu.” Authorities threaten to shoot them.
*October 10: President Biden issues executive order making
it a felony to be caught outside without a full, properly worn hazmat suit as the
Boston Flu latest iteration of the coronavirus rages on.
*October 11: President Biden issues an executive order
making ice cream the “official food” of the United States.
*October 12: President Biden issues executive order
permanently banning on-site voting “everywhere and for all time.” Henceforth,
only mail-in balloting will be allowed.
*November 5: Mainstream media outlets excitedly announce
that Democrats are winning in a landslide, and that a “Big Blue Wave” is
sweeping the nation on this “Election Day” 2024. All project John Fetterman
(D-PA) to be the next President of the United States.
*November 11: Final totals are announced for the 2024
election, giving Democrats a 61-39 hold on the Senate and a 292-143 edge in the
House. The Big Blue Wave has done its job.
*January 29, 2025: Democratic congress ratifies bill to
“eliminate” all political opposition. President Fetterman signs the legislation
into law. After achieving one-party rule, top Democrats boast “we have—finally--
saved our democracy!”
{FINI}
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