"The Brady Bunch" Recreated With Drag Queens

 

            “The Brady Bunch,” beloved as the classic 1970s sitcom may have been, received a much-needed revamp, Paramount Plus and MTV Entertainment Studios recently announced. Some of the show’s original stars were joined by alums of RuPaul’s reality series “Drag Queens” to reimagine and recreate a classic episode of the iconic half-hour television show in celebration of Pride Month.

The crossover event, called "Dragging the Classics: The Brady Bunch," recreated the classic Brady Bunch episode titled "Will the Real Jan Brady Please Stand Up?" Well, will she he they? Or is Jan really RuPaul? Inquiring minds want to know.

The “Dragging the classics” vehicle provides an almost unlimited opportunity for recreating classic television shows and movies. Who among us wouldn’t love to see “Bonanza” remade with drag queen characters? RuPaul as “Hoss” would be to die for, no?

Little House on the Prairie, The Flintstones, and Gilligan’s Island would all be better if they were drag queen enhanced. As would “I Dream of Jeannie.” Is there anyone who wouldn’t want to find a bottle which, when opened, dispenses a drag queen Genie willing to serve them and grant them whatever their heart desires, especially if it involves a fabulous leather outfit and a riding crop?

Gunsmoke is yet another classic show that would be improved by the introduction of gender dysphoria. What if Festus Parker was a non-binary questioning transvestite? And Miss Kitty was actually a guy in gal’s clothing? Delicious! Think of the potential plot twists! Who wouldn’t love to see Marshal Matt Dillon portrayed by Dame Edna Everage or Bianca Del Rio?

Vintage movies, too, could be greatly enhanced by their remaking with drag queens and other assorted sexual deviants.

Gone With the Wind, Casablanca, True Grit, The Godfather, Jaws, and The Magnificent Seven just to name a few. Dirty Harry, too. “You’ve got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well, do you, RuPaul?”

“Go ahead, make my day…you two-spirited pansexual person, you!”

Saving Private Ryan, Finding Nemo, The Shawshank Redemption, Schindler’s List, and The Dark Knight are among the vast majority of movies that could be improved and sanctified by running them through the prism of gender confusion and sexual dysfunction.

Star Wars, too. As the adorable non-binary droid R2-D2 said to the subtly gay (and likely pangender) C-3PO: “May the farce be with you.”