Major League baseball’s Cleveland
Indians will be changing their name to the Cleveland Guardians beginning with the 2022 season, the
organization announced on July 23rd. I am neither shocked nor saddened. This is
something I saw coming years ago.
The Guardians are by no means the
first organization to abandon a potentially offensive name. The Washington
Redskins of the NFL recently became the “Washington Football Team.” The
university of North Dakota’s sports teams, formerly known as the Fighting
Sioux, are now named the “Fighting Hawks.”
But we all know much more has to be
done. Far too many squads still sport potentially hurtful names. To wit, by
league:
Major League Baseball
*Atlanta Braves…A
little different take on this one. I would’ve thought such overt sexism
would be extinct by now. What about the squaws young
Native American women? How must they feel at the use of this exclusionary
nomenclature?
*Chicago Cubs…of
course, it’s all about the youth culture. Talk about ageism. “Cubbies?” Yeesh.
*Chicago White
Sox…a little too Caucasian and pure for my liking.
*Kansas City Royals…well,
la-di-da, isn’t this high-brow salute to monarchy a kick
in the pants to regular folks. Talk about your “one-percenters.” This name must
be dropped now.
*Los Angeles Angels (of
Anaheim)…typical Orange County Republicanism. Mixing religion and sports
is not what our founders intended. Also, do fans really want
to believe in something that can’t be seen or scientifically proven. (Other
than man-caused global warming, of course.)
*Milwaukee Brewers…why
not Vintners then? Or Distillers? And really, nice to advertise booze across
the land, anyway! Was “Crystal -Meth Makers” taken? Perhaps the Milwaukee
“Recovering Alcoholics” would be a better fit for our times.
*Minnesota Twins…there
are no set family norms anymore. One-- or three—kid(s) are okay, as well. In
fact, childlessness is a great option, too!
*New York Yankees…
Really? White, wealthy types that worship business. Those “Damn Yankees?” And with all of the historical connotations? I
suppose they wouldn’t just like to play Atlanta in the World
Series, but burn it to the ground afterwards, too?! And,
speaking of which…
*San Diego Padres…another
case of overt religious favoritism and insensitivity. San Diego “Imams” was out
of the question, I suppose? And, failing that, could the team not have been
called the Madres?
*San Francisco Giants…I
frankly would’ve expected better from San Francisco. What about the little guy?
What about the vertically challenged? Insensitive and heartless.
*Toronto Blue
Jays…what about the gray jays, brown jays and green jays? Or even the
Steller’s jay or the Pinyon jay? How are they supposed to feel? Leave others
out much? Criminy!
*Washington Nationals…I
can almost hear the militaristic, xenophobic martial music
now! Jingoistic clap-trap from overly patriotic right-wingers to be sure.
National
Football League
*Minnesota Vikings…
white, Aryan, aggressive, macho, plundering types. Combines toxic masculinity
with white supremacy. I feel faint. This name must go ASAP!
*New England Patriots…how
do you think this makes all the people historically and systemically oppressed
by America feel? “Patriot” is just a euphemism for “radical right-wing domestic
terrorist.”
*San Diego Chargers…this
is marginalizing, exclusionary—and very hurtful-- to all those who still pay
with cash or check.
*Tennessee Titans…holy
cow. Not much love for the underclass and less than mighty here.
National
Basketball Association
*Atlanta Hawks…
Too warlike. “Doves” would’ve been much more appropriate in our modern era.
*Dallas Mavericks…leave
it to a team from Texas to have to stand apart from the rest of us. Does the
nickname imply they will refuse to be vaccinated? Divisive. Did they take part
in the January 6th insurrection that nearly brought down our beloved
federal government?
*Detroit Pistons…in
this era of global warming… an ode to the internal combustion engine? Wouldn’t “Solar
Heating Panels” or “Wind Turbines” be a better name?
*Golden State Warriors…on
the west coast even? An obvious ode to violence?
*Miami Heat…okay,
but would not the Miami “Global Warming” have been more accurate?
*Milwaukee Bucks… sexist
enough for you? And they just won a championship! Pigs!
National
Hockey League
*Buffalo Sabres…no
team should have weapons on their jerseys!
*Colorado Avalanche…a
powerful, white force comes down from on high to
ravage unsuspecting peoples? Wow.
*Columbus Blue
Jackets…it’s actually the city’s name that’s offensive here! Columbus
didn’t discover America, never set foot here, yet his journey led to the rape
of the New World and its indigenous peoples!
*Dallas Stars…
excuse us, you guys are so much better than we could ever hope
to be…
*Montreal Canadiens…narcissistic
and xenophobic.
*Nashville Predators…in
this day and age we shouldn’t be celebrating stalkers and killers!
*St. Louis Blues…
hurtful and mocking to people with depression?
NCAA
College Football
*(The) Notre Dame Fighting
Irish…seriously? Irish Catholics put up with this? Why not just call the
teams the “Antagonistic Drunken Poets?” Have you seen the mascot?!! OMG!!
No comments:
Post a Comment