GraphicSprings, an online free logo generator and graphics design company, recently put together and conducted a survey asking what Father Christmas should look like if he was subjected to a rebranding and modernization effort. More than 4,000 people in the United Kingdom and the U.S. were asked to vote on a series of statements pertaining to Father Christmas’ updated look. Statements such as “He should have an iPhone,” “He should have dreadlocks” and “He should use Amazon Prime” were included, among numerous others.
Turns out, 17% of the respondents said Santa should become gender-neutral, and almost 11% thought St. Nick should transition to a woman. For what it’s worth, a higher percentage of those polled in the United States wanted a gender-neutral Santa than in the U.K.
I say Santa should be a gender-neutral bisexual with dreadlocks who orders his toys from Amazon with his new iPhone 11 Pro Max because they (one of Santa’s preferred pronouns) has tasked the elves with trying to prepare the North Pole for the onslaught of flooding that Global Warming/Climate Change will surely bring.
Moreover, Santa would rename Rudolph “Justice,” and the other reindeer “Charlie,” “Finley,” “Skylar,” “Royal,” “Lennon,” “Oakley,” “Armani,” “Landry” and “Azariah.”
But seriously: Merry Christmas!