Alumni, Alumnx

              According to The College Fix, college departments across the country are dumping the term “alumni” in favor of “alumnx” in support of gender neutrality.  This is surpassingly strange, even for the wokest wackos in higher education, as “alumni” itself is a completely gender-neutral term.

             “Alumni” is a Latin word derived from “alumnus.” It means “pupil” according to the online etymology dictionary. “Alumni” is the plural, and gender-neutral, form of “alumnus.” If “alumni,” obviously non-gendered, is still not non-gendered enough for leftist loonies, we are very near the end of civilization.

            Schools currently using “alumnx” in at least some instances in some departments include the University of California-San Diego, Syracuse University, the University of Michigan and Loyola University Maryland. The term is especially prevalent on the schools’ LGBTQ+ web pages.

To me, “alumni” has always been perfectly gender-neutral, whereas “alumnx” sounds like a non-binary, bisexual Latino woman graduate in today’s context. Too specific in its own misleading way.

Gender-neutral gingerbread cookie sweaters, gender-neutral Barbie dolls, gender-neutral gender-neutral terms. Can’t say “gingerbread cookie,” have to say, “gingerbread gender-neutral person cookie.” Again, both the term “gingerbread cookie” and the cookies themselves are gender-neutral. (“Person,” however, isn’t. It’s got “son” in it).

What’s next? (Although I really don’t want to know). Are we going to be asking if the word “neutral” is neutral enough? Is “bland” bland enough?

Unspecified, indistinct, unknowable, amorphous. Welcome to the future.