Saturday, December 28, 2019

A Tale Of Penguin Perversity

                The cover-up is over. 

                The story has finally been told. And it is shocking. Titillating. Repulsive. Black and white. Lloyd Spencer Davis, renowned filmmaker, author, and director of the Centre for Science Communication at Otago University in New Zealand, relates a tale of unbridled depravity in his new book, “A Polar Affair.” Davis, regarded as one of the world’s foremost authorities on penguins, recounts British scientist Dr. George Murray Levick’s study of Antarctic penguins in the early 1900s. Levick accompanied intrepid explorer Robert Scott on his tragically famous 1910-1913 expedition to the South Pole. Marooned for an Antarctic winter, he utilized the time to become the first person to conduct a lengthy study of penguins up close.
                What he discovered stunned him. He observed the randy Adélie penguins engaging in “astonishing depravity.” He noted that homosexuality, “promiscuity” and “infidelity” were rampant in the colony. He witnessed rapes, gang rapes, the sexual abuse of chicks by adult birds, and, he averred, even necrophilia. Levick claimed penguins also engaged in “prostitution,” with males paying with stones. (This perverted penguin behavior was apparently confirmed by scientists in a separate study of Adélie penguins conducted in 1998, more than eighty-five years later).
                Levick wrote a manuscript after his months-long research but considered his findings too inappropriate to ever be published. In fact, Levick was so shocked he recorded his observations in Greek so that only educated gentlemen could decipher them. He wanted to shield the results of his study from the general public and only circulated his findings among a very small group of “experts.” This led to a century-long cover-up of his discoveries. His work only resurfaced when it was unearthed at the Natural History Museum in 2012.
                To the certain delight of modern-day feminists, Dr. Levick blamed the penguins’ revolting behavior on “hooligan males.” Apparently, even flightless birds living in the most remote regions of the planet suffer from “toxic masculinity.”
                The controversial, steamy, envelope-pushing “A Polar Affair” is now available on Amazon. Where it is probably already sold out. Reviews of the book on social media have been impassioned, but starkly mixed, mirroring the opinions of the penguins’ behavior. LGBTQ groups were quick to laud both, praising Davis for writing the book, Levick for his groundbreaking study, and the penguins for their “queerness” and uninhibited libidos.
                Feminists, on the other hand, took to Twitter to express their outrage and demand that “A Polar Affair” be removed from booksellers’ shelves, while reaching out and extending a flipper of support to the aggrieved female penguins. #MeToo. Some went so far as to demand the National Hockey League’s Pittsburgh Penguins change its name and logo. Others called for Penguin Random House publishing to shed its name, as well, in favor of one more in keeping with the times. Still others insisted the federal government ban the manufacture, possession and donning of tuxedos.
                It is time we all “woke” up. If you ask me, this kind of behavior is for the birds.

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